DUAC is back! The Return of the DUmmie Activist Corps

"DUAC! DUAC!" DUAC is back! Way back in July of '05, the brain trust (?) at DUmmieland created the DU Activist Corps. Of course, it went NOWHERE and did NOTHING! But now, after three years, the DUmmie Slacktivist Corpse has risen from the dead! Read about it here in this THREAD, "The Return of the DU Activist Corps," and this THREAD, "Attention activists: we need your help to restart the DU Activist Corps." DUAC is BACK!! The response must be OVERWHELMING, right? Hee! Hee! Guess again! And so now, like DUmmies in action (inaction?), let us also sit back and relax, amused by the DUACos quacking away in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, expecting a snowfall in St. Louis this month before the DUmmies actually DO anything, is in the [brackets]:

The Return of the DU Activist Corps

[So announced DUmmieland Admin EarlG, who really could use some EnerG.]

Three years ago we launched the DU Activist Corps . . .

[Filed under "Failure to Launch."]

a way to join forces and go beyond the message board to take part in "real world" activism.

[But that would require getting out of one's "real basement."]

The Activist Corps project was active through 2005 and 2006 . . .

[Letters To The Editor generated must have numbered in the tens!]

but fell by the wayside. . . .

[Translation: DIED! Accomplished NOTHING! Fell as flat as an inflatable cushion when Michael Moore sits on it!]

We already have just over 1,300 members signed up. . . .

[Over 1,200 of whom will sit and watch, while the remaining 100 will talk about all the stuff they will end up NOT DOING.]

How It's Going To Work

[Poorly.]

From now until the election we hope to run a scheduled Activist Corps action once a week.

[They will do it weakly.]

Once you have completed an action you should return to the Activist HQ to report. We'll have a "Check-In" thread where you'll simply have to click a link to report that you've taken part in the action. . . .

[Sorry, that's too much work.]

this will work on the honor system. . . .

[Boy, you picked the wrong group for that!]

Activist Corps actions will NOT require you to gather in groups or travel . . .

[No, of course not. That would require, well . . . activism.]

well, maybe to the nearest mailbox. . . .

[Yes! LTTEs! The extent of DUmmie slacktivism--at least for those willing to leave Mom's basement.]

We intend to get the ball rolling this week. . . .

[WE intend to be rolling on the floor, laughing!]

However, we have not used the Activist Corps system for two years, so please bear in mind that next week's action will probably be something of a test run.

[The first test: Get up out of your chair and walk outside. That big bright thing in the sky is called "the Sun."]

It's possible that the system will need some minor bug fixes, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

[EarlG gets the Mixed Metaphor Sentence of the Day prize. Now for the phenomenal response from the eager DUmmies. . . .]

K&R -- nt

[That's about the extent of the excitement.]

Can you site examples of how it was actually used in '05 & '06?

[Don't press EarlG with the tough questions. OK, so let's look at that other thread. Take it away, Earl . . .]

So what now?

[So what? is more like it.]

Actions need to be something that members can do individually, without having to travel. . . . Actions don't need to be big things.

[In fact, actions don't need to take any commitment or sacrifice at all! Now let's see what the response is on THIS thread . . .]

Karl Rove is coming to my town. . . . We are holding mock trial, I'm dressing up as Valerie Plame. . . .

[Is that you, benburch?]

The Fifty State Solution

[Or, if you're Barack Opossum, the Fifty-Seven State Solution.]

Ooo Oooo Oooo. . . .

[Zzz Zzzz Zzzz. . . .]