Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Watching DUmmie Ants Watching Us Watching Them



Every once in awhile, the residents of my DUmmie Ant Farm stop in the middle of their Leftwing Circular Mill and suddenly notice that they are being watched. And what they see makes them VERY self concious. As is typical in this DUmmie THREAD, they are outraged because they are being quoted word for word accurately for all to laugh at. This seems to be typical among those of the Leftwing Loony persuasion nowadays. Their attitude is "How dare you quote what we actually say!!!" Sorry, but Copy and Paste is the secret of the DUmmie FUnnies success. We accurately quote you to maximize the laughs. We just can't make up this priceless comedy material. As a special bonus, we even have a cameo appearance by Pied Piper Pitt's mother, DUmmie Raven, in this thread. So let us now watch the DUmmies watch us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking the DUmmies for the many laughs, is in the [brackets]:


I can't figure out the problem the freeps have with these DU threads.

[No problem at all. We just like to harvest your material for laughs.]

I read both of them and I honestly can't figure out why they honed in on these particular threads. Maybe they don't like a celebrity encounter? Perhaps it's something personal? Oh wait...most of it is vaguely homophobic.

[As chronicled in yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies, there is something very FUnnie in Will "I'm where celebrity worship goes to die" Pitt's desperate groupie-like attempts to hit on Kevin Spacey.]


I'd say they're rabidly jealous of Mr. Pitt.

[Yeah. I'm green with envy. Pitt actually got to TOUCH Kevin Spacey. OMG!!!]


They hate Hollyweird


[Why should I hate Hollyweird when they provide such great DUFU material?]


The Freepers are so bereft of imagination, if they couldn't pull OUR threads and attack US, they'd have nothing to post. True! They live to attack and hate "the other." You and me, dear fellow DUers, are the reason for their angst as well as motivation for them to carry on with their seemingly miserable existence, i.e., self righteousness and condemnation of all others unlike themselves.
We are very special to these troglodytes known as "The Freepers."


[Yes, you are special to us. An ENDLESS source of comedy material.]


Bukowskis rocks by the way


[But it doesn't sound like a great place to pick up chicks.]


Wow...I think I need to take a shower. I don't usually go to Free Republic because it feels like descending into a sewer. I must say, I'm amazed they they seem so obsessed with Will but they don't seem to want to tackle him on the important stuff...just a kind of fun account of a meeting with Kevin Spacey...and yet the venom is really shocking, way over the top considering that Will's post on Spacey was harmless. The personal stuff that they spew about my son is upsetting to me although it is an indication that they can't stay out of the gutter and don't have the mental wherewithall to debate him on the facts and on the things that really matter. I guess I should be happy that he can get these pond scums so agitated.


[And that was Pied Piper Pitt's mother aka Raven. So Raven, or let me call you Mom, the reason why we seemed "obsessed" with Will is that he provides us with the BEST comedy material. Whether it is his prediction that Karl Rove had already been indicted on May 12 or his Midnight Cowboy outfit trip to Texas where he got chewed up by fireants or his overlong geopolitical treatise in which he claims that the "Third American Empire" was born at the 1980 Winter Olympics when inflamed nationalistic fans screamed "USA! USA!", Pitt is an endless source for material. And whenever he runs out of the comedy material, we never have to wait more than 24 business hours for more.]


The Spacey part was just a frame of the bigger point
It's an interesting detail but it was more about The whole Devil exists and how to define it. I noticed how they just ignore the metaphor and message completely.


[Yes the segue from Spacey worship to an overlong pontificating treatise on Eisenhower's Farewell Address.]


You'd be jealous, too, if your closest encounter to fame was rubbing against the Nuge's loincloth


[Pitt's closet encounter to fame was rubbing against Keyser Soze's loincloth.]


what do they have? culturally?? other than Toby Keith? I wonder what music these people listen to or what films they watch? For instance, do they EVER see stand-up comedy?? They have nowhere to turn because EVERYONE disagrees with them and they hate it. All they can do is make gay jokes or talk about how fat Al Gore is and really can't help but watch Jon Stewart and Colbert.

[We don't listen to music. Ever. Just ask Freeper Charles Henrickson.]

9 Comments:

Anonymous Basilisk said...

When I finally become rich and famous (Er, well maybe just famous. The comics business isn't one to get into if you want to make a lot of money) remind me not to go anywhere near Bukowski's. Aside from the fact that regulars would be shocked at a female presence, I don't want Pitt within a 30 mile radius of me. I can smell his skank even over the Internet.

12:03 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

How could we debate the Pittster on the facts, he never uses any of them!
His writing is almost exclusively about his feelings and opinions, cascading from some brief flicker of attention he has given a tidbit of factoid or rumor which he has encountered on the web. Quite circuitously expressed feelings and opinions, I might add.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

"what do they have? culturally?? other than Toby Keith? I wonder what music these people listen to or what films they watch? For instance, do they EVER see stand-up comedy?? They have nowhere to turn because EVERYONE disagrees with them and they hate it. All they can do is make gay jokes or talk about how fat Al Gore is and really can't help but watch Jon Stewart and Colbert."

I hate that "EVERYONE" disagrees with me? Really, what I hate is that there are morons like this who facilitate more innocents getting killed here and around the world. And really, while I love Toby Keith, I have been listening to and loving many kinds of music for almost 40 years. I swear these people must not know anyone outside of their idealogical camp.

4:27 PM  
Anonymous true patriot said...

Fred Thompson is a War Criminal and a Hate Crime!

Of course Thompson’s going to question the intelligence of Charlie Sheen and Rosie O’Donnell. It’s a page pulled right from the Republican playbook. First they go after the Muslim men, then they question everyone’s patriotism, and then those who are left who aren’t marching lockstep and seig-heilling fast enough will be mocked as whacky “conspiracy theorists.” Fred Thompson can’t run from the fact that he, ZOG, Hallyburtin, and all his fellow Republicans, orchestrated the attacks of September 11 and is responsible for the reckless warmongering which is tearing the world apart. THERE’S BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS, FRED THOMPSON!!!! THERE’S BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS, FRED THOMPSON!!!! THERE’S BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS AND WE’RE ON TO YOU, FRED THOMPSON!!!! AND IT’S ALL FOR OIL, THAT SWEET SWEET OIL. WHAT’S A FEW MORE DEAD BROWN SKINNED ARABS AS LONG AS YOU HAVE SUVS TO DRIVE??

5:13 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

true patriot,

Take some Midol, put on some New Age music, and go relax in a nice warm bathtub.

We Zionists will have the last laugh! HA HA!

5:47 PM  
Anonymous ray said...

The Freepers are so bereft of imagination, if they couldn't pull OUR threads and attack US, they'd have nothing to post.
The DU followers verbally attack everything and everyone on earth who disagree with them and these DU types call themselves imaginative. It doesn't take any imagination at all to spew anti-whatever rhetoric at those who disagree with you. Any child can say hate you! but only a mature person can disagree without resorting to rancor.

Fred Thompson is a War Criminal and a Hate Crime!

TP; a person can not BE a crime, they can only commit crimes.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course Thompson’s going to question the intelligence of Charlie Sheen and Rosie O’Donnell.

Well, no shit Sherlock.

Thompson's bio:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Dalton_Thompson

Charlie's bio:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_sheen

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"what do they have? culturally?? other than Toby Keith? I wonder what music these people listen to or what films they watch?"
The music I personally listen to usually falls under 1 of 3 categories:
1. Contemporary Christian/Christian rock.
2. Soundtracks for movies/ TV shows.
3. Comedy CDs, such as those by Bill Cosby and Adam Sandler.
As for movies, I like all kinds of films, from all different genres. My favorite movies include 'The Fifth Element,' 'The Mask of Zorro,' and 'Sleepy Hollow.' Of course, this probably makes me look like a freak to DUmmies, who prefer watching pretentious arthouse films from France or equally pretentious documentaries about how evil conservatives are.

"All they can do is make gay jokes or talk about how fat Al Gore is and really can't help but watch Jon Stewart and Colbert."

I can easily avoid watching Jon Stewart and Colbert. Know why? Because Jon Stewart is a mean, smug, talentless jackass who isn't even half as funny as he considers himself to be (Not to mention being easily one of the worst Oscar hosts I can ever recall seeing), and Colbert isn't much better. As for making fat jokes about Al Gore, what can I say? Fat windbags make easy targets for jokes. Plus, I'd be more likely to make fun of Gore for his massively hypocritical lifestyle than for his preposterous girth.

10:03 AM  
Anonymous Basilisk said...

Thanks for the link, TP! And as always, good work with the satire. You should start a blog of your own to post up your work.

"what do they have? culturally?? other than Toby Keith? I wonder what music these people listen to or what films they watch?"

Well, this poster is clearly not punk. We have the Ramones, Conservative Punk...the list goes on. For comedy, we have South Park. Oh wait...they don't like South Park, though it's pretty obvious why. What we see here is a blatant case of projection, ladies and gents.

See, the nice thing about being a righty is (aside from being, well, right) is that we don't have to agree 101% with our choice of entertainment. Of course, when it does happen -- as in the cases I provided -- it's always nice, but it's not necessary.

Which is why I can watch Oceans Thirteen and laugh, even with the simultaneous realisation that the entire cast is made up of asses. However, a DUmmie can never enjoy even a single episode of South Park without some serious denial going on. Partly because Parker & Stone are anti-liberals, but also because DUmmies lack the important ability to laugh at themselves. (Which is why we have to do it for them)

Sucks to be them.

10:03 PM  

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