Monday, March 19, 2007

New Yorker Editor David Remnick Practices St. Al The Gore Idolatry



I once saw a really interesting documentary on the tube about Joe Stalin. What I found most fascinating about this documentary was the part about a young woman factory worker who would stand up in the audience at a lot of Stalin's speeches in the 1930s and, with face glowing in absolute worshipful ecstasy, shout out all sorts of over the top praises for the Soviet dictator. The documentarians tracked down this same woman a few years ago and I figured she would claim that she was forced to shout outlandish praise of Stalin or be sent to the Gulag. I was wrong. This woman was a True Believer. She was so clueless that she wasn't faking it and continued to believe in the greatness of her wonderful Comrade Stalin. Okay, so this blind hero worship must be some sort of specific Soviet thing? Nope. Right here in the USA, a supposedly sophisticated editor of the even more sophisticated New Yorker magazine, is hailing Al Gore in worshipful tones worthy of that woman factory worker. I can almost picture the look of absolute ecstasy on Remnick's face as he wrote out his March 5 New Yorker PAEAN to Al Gore. Just as the Stalin of the woman factory worker is completely unrecognizable compared to the cruel dictator of reality, the "wise" Al Gore of Remnick's imagination bears no relation to the reality of the Moonbat barkings of the real Al Gore. So let us now watch David Remnick glow in ecstatic Bolshevik Red over his beloved Al Gore while the commentary of your humble correspondent, already feeling tooth decay setting in from reading the saccharine Gore praises by the New Yorker editor, is in the [brackets]:


You Know Me, Al


[I'm the guy with the kneepads about to implant my lips upon your ample posterior.]


“Saturday Night Live” is erratic in middle age but rarely cruel. An exception came late last spring, when, at the stroke of eleven-thirty, an NBC announcer gravely told the American people to stand by for a “message from the President of the United States,” and Al Gore, surrounded by Oval Office knickknacks, came into focus to deliver what could best be described as an interim report from a parallel, and happier, galaxy. President Gore reviewed some of his actions and their unintended consequences:



[More like an alternate and weirder universe in which their Al Gore bears no resemblance to the angry ranter in the real world.]


In the last six years we have been able to stop global warming. No one could have predicted the negative results of this. Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack. As you know, these renegade glaciers have already captured parts of upper Michigan and northern Maine. But I assure you: we will not let the glaciers win.


[Judging from the recent weather reports, we don't have to travel to a parallel galaxy to experience global cooling. And we didn't even have to sign the Kyoto Accord to get our current cold snap!]


Nor was this the only problem. Although Social Security had been repaired, the cost had been high: the budget surplus was “down to a perilously low eleven trillion dollars.” The price of gas had dropped to nineteen cents a gallon, and the oil companies were hurting. (“I know that I am partly to blame by insisting that cars run on trash.”) After winning the plaudits of a grateful world—and turning Afghanistan into a premier “spring-break destination”—Americans could no longer risk travelling abroad, for fear of “getting hugged.” Even the national pastime was in danger. “But,” Gore added hopefully, “I have faith in baseball commissioner George W. Bush when he says, ‘We will find the steroid users if we have to tap every phone in America!’"


[Posted from the parallel universe in which so many of the Left's fantasies now seem to dwell.]


The cruelty here was not to Gore, who probably requires no prompting to brood now and then about what might have been, but to the audience. It is worse than painful to reflect on how much better off the United States and the world would be today if the outcome of the 2000 election had been permitted to correspond with the wishes of the electorate. The attacks of September 11, 2001, would likely not have been avoided, though there is ample evidence, in the 9/11 Commission report and elsewhere, that Gore and his circle were far more alert to the threat of Islamist terrorism than Bush and his. But can anyone seriously doubt that a Gore Administration would have meant, well, an alternate universe, in which, say, American troops were sent on a necessary mission in Afghanistan but not on a mistaken and misbegotten one in Iraq; the fate of the earth, not the fate of oil-company executives, was the priority of the Environmental Protection Agency; civil liberties and diplomacy were subjects of attention rather than of derision; torture found no place or rationale?


[In the alternate universe, President Al Gore would still be debating with himself on whether to impose economic sanctions on the Taliban in Afghanistan.]


In increasing numbers, poll results imply, Americans are disheartened by the real and existing Presidency, and no small number also feel regret that Gore—the winner in 2000 of the popular vote by more than half a million ballots, the almost certain winner of any reasonable or consistent count in the state of Florida—ended up the target of what it is not an exaggeration to call a judicial coup d’état. Justice Antonin Scalia routinely instructs those who question his vote in Bush v. Gore to stop their ceaseless whinging. “It’s water over the deck,” he told an audience at Iona College last month. “Get over it.” But it is neither possible nor wise to “get over it.” The historical damage is too profound.


[The REAL winner of all accurate counts, including by a newspaper consortium, all point at George W. Bush but don't let inconvenient facts stand in your way, Remnick, you're on a roll here with your Al Gore idolatry.]


And yet, despite the burden of injury and injustice, Gore, more than any other major Democratic Party figure, including the many candidates assembled for next year’s Presidential nomination, has demonstrated in opposition precisely the quality of judgment that Bush has lacked in office. Gore’s critiques of the Administration’s rush to war in Iraq and of the deceptions used to justify it were early, brave, and correct. On the issue of climate change, of course, he has exercised visionary leadership. With humor and intelligence, and negligible self-pity, he dispensed with the temptations of political martyrdom and became a global Jeremiah. Beginning in the nineteen-eighties, he waged what was at first a fairly lonely campaign to draw attention to the problem; now, as a popularizing propagandist, he has succeeded in registering it as a crisis with nearly everyone, from field-tripping schoolchildren to reality-dubious members of the Administration. With his documentary film, “An Inconvenient Truth,” Gore made the undeniability of the crisis a matter of consensus; thanks largely to him, an environmental issue will be an electoral issue. His secular evangelism has earned him an honored night at the Academy Awards and—almost as glittering—a nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize.


[COMRADE STALIN! Your visionary leadership is an inspiration to all the peoples of the glorious Soviet Union! We thank you for your scientific socialism whose truths cannot be denied. All glory to Comrade Stalin! HURRAH!!!]


For the moment, Gore has absented himself from the 2008 Presidential race with a deliberately provisional explanation: He has no plans to be a candidate. He doesn’t expect to be a candidate. (Or, as he satirized his language for Jay Leno when talking about his future in the movies, “I just want to clarify: I have no plans to do a nude scene. I have no intention to do a nude scene. I don’t expect to do a nude scene. But I haven’t made a Shermanesque statement about it.”)


[You don't expect to do a nude scene Al? Well, at least we know you have a certain quality of mercy in you.]


Gore’s reluctance is understandable. The balloting in Iowa and New Hampshire is nearly a year away. He is in no rush. He may have shared Bill Clinton’s love of policymaking but not his relish for full-immersion politicking. In the view of former aides still close to him, Gore can’t lose by staying on the electoral sidelines. While Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama start competing––warily at first, and then, inevitably, taking direct aim at one another’s weaknesses––Gore can stand unbruised, nursing the lingering glamour of his popular margin in 2000 and, perhaps, demanding by quiet inference that we take stock of a distinguished public career that began three decades ago, when Gore was a twenty-eight-year-old Vietnam veteran freshly elected to Congress.


[Thanx, David, for facing up to the Inconvenient Truth that Al's Global Warming shtick is nothing more than a campaign gimmick.]


If only to take an honest man’s word for it, Gore’s entry into the race is unlikely. Clinton, Obama, Bill Richardson, John Edwards, Joseph Biden, Christopher Dodd—the field already provides a pool of talent and a range of possibilities infinitely more encouraging than the status quo. Moreover, the nomination and election of any one of the first three would take America a long way toward keeping the unfulfilled promise of “We the people”—not least because the appeal of all three is based only incidentally upon gender, race, or ethnic heritage.

[And if any of those three are nominated, you can be sure that Remnick will join the Liberal herd in crying either racism or sexism if you dare to oppose them for ideological reasons.]


If the next few months produce an obvious and relatively intact nominee, fine. Gore can stay active in his new role, and perhaps carry that role further, as a kind of climate czar in a Democratic Administration. But, as someone once said, stuff happens. The campaign may get nasty quickly. Clinton’s Iraq position may prove untenable in any of its iterations. Obama’s youthful charisma may look like inexperience after prolonged exposure to electoral gamesmanship. David Geffen might grow claws. A year is a very long time in politics, especially in the circular shooting contests that the Democrats so often convene.


[And we can be sure that in that year, Remnick will continue to give us more glowing Gore walking on water reports.]


There will still be Gore, patient and untrammelled. In any case, he will not have embarrassed himself. Post-lock-box, he has developed a keener sense of that. When the writers at “Saturday Night Live” suggested that he take part in a sketch featuring some scatological themes, Gore demurred with a combination of ironic self-preservation and his customary good judgment. “I’m sure this is funny,” he said, “but at the end of this I want to have some bread crumbs left leading back to my dignity.”


[Naw! Gore already ate those bread crumbs. Oh, and to finish this blog off properly: COMRADE STALIN! We hail your patient and untrammeled attitude! HURRAH! STALIN! HURRAH!!!]


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3 Comments:

Blogger Icarus said...

When I read this, I started to say: "You have GOT to be shitting me ..."

But then I realized nothing these loons say can really surprise me any more.

The thought of Al Gore in the White House ought to make anyone with a functioning brain shudder.

I am SO, so, so looking forward to 2008 ... so that I can watch the loony liberals when they finally realize that a different President won't change a whole lot.

And in 2035, when Bush dies and liberals are all weeping at his funeral, and he's got 70% approval ratings like Reagan did when he died .... I'm going to find THIS schmuck and point at him and laugh.

These people are just. So. Dumb.

I almost hope a Democrat wins in 2008. Hell, I almost hope Al Gore does. It would be worth it to watch the reality based community actually see, you know, reality.

6:40 AM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Ourrah Stalina!

Ourrah Albert Alitch Gorov!!!

Ourrah Krasnii Revolyutsiya!!!!!


(Gag...Retch...Puke)

8:41 AM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

Gore's biggest critique of Bush on Iraq (just prior to the actual invasion, I believe) was that Bush, like his father, would leave Iraq too quickly. I wonder how he squares that up today?

12:24 AM  

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