Tuesday, December 12, 2006

William Rivers Pitt Confesses Personal Incompetence

Heeeeee's BAAAAAAAAACK!!! After months of being in a dry spell, our favorite DUmmie to DUFU, Pied Piper Pitt, is back in form again. Many have asked me why I haven't DUFUed Pitt in such a long time. The reason is simple. In the months following the Karl Rove non-indictment, Pitt has been in a state of shock to such an extent that he has laid low by merely copy & pasting dull news stories and even duller Democrat policy positions. Yes, Pitt is also incredibly boring but at least his work is ORIGINAL as he pompously tries, in way too many words, to make it all about himself. Fortunately, Pitt has emerged from hibernation and presented us with this comedically enjoyable DUmmie THREAD titled, "On the draft, Obama in '08, Kucinich, and other matters..." What is really fascinating about this thread is the startling admission that he was a totally INCOMPETENT press secretary when working briefly for Dennis Kucinich early in '04. So why this out-of-character humility on the part of Pied Piper Pitt? Simple. It is much better to pretend that you were merely incompetent than to admit what you really were---DEVIOUS. That's right. Pitt only worked a few weeks as a press secretary for Kucinich because the Evil Elf discovered that Pitt was betraying him by feeding inside campaign info to the Kerry camp in a pathetic effort to ingratiate himself with Mama T's Boy Toy. So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt attempt to sidestep controversy by pleading guilty to incomepetence in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, welcoming our favorite DUmmie back into the DUFU fold, is in the [brackets]:

On the draft, Obama in '08, Kucinich, and other matters...

[That will NOT be including an admission of backstabbing the Evil Elf.]

The draft

[The draft beer is great at Bukowki's. It is the last thing I remember before passing out for the night.]

The idea of a return of the draft has been a concern around here for several days, and for good reason. Understand, however, that barring some massive calamity - an invasion of flesh-eating aliens or the Earth crashing into the sun - there will be no draft. Not because there aren't politicians who want it, but because the military simply will not stand for it.

[WOW! There WON'T be a draft? Thanx for that groundbreaking information, Will. It ranks right up there with your scoop about the Rove indictment last May 12.]

The military nowadays is a hell of a lot different from the one we had the last time there was a draft. Back then, it took about eight weeks or so of boot camp to "make" a soldier. Today, because of the new training, tactics and equipment, it takes months (if not years) to make a soldier. An influx of green, raw, non-volunteer recruits would absolutely shatter the system and wreck virtually every branch of the service.

[Thanx for CONTINUING to tell us that there won't be a draft. Continue beating that dead horse...]

The brass know this, and want no part of it, and will not stand for it. Rangel knows this, too, I am sure, which is why his call for a draft was almost certainly political posturing designed to highlight the Iraq situation and the "rich man's war, poor man's fight" phenomenon. There will be no draft.

[GASP! You mean that Rangle actually engages in political posturing? Hard to believe.]


[Say that name with worshipful eyes.]

Obama in '08 feels, to me, like a new Senator thinking about running for Vice-President. This is incredibly common: a lot of the candidates in any general election aren't actually running for the Oval Office, because they know they won't get it, but want to position themselves for either the VP spot or a cabinet position. I get the sense that this may be the drift of Obama's thinking; he hasn't been around long enough, perhaps, to seriously consider the top spot, but as VP would be well-positioned to take the reins after someone else's term.

[Sorry Pitt but there are way too many other Obama Acolytes ahead of you in line so you can forget about joining the Obama campaign, especially after that May 12 "incident."]

Given this assumption, savor the flavor: Edwards/Obama, Gore/Obama, Clark/Obama, Boxer/Obama, Clinton/Obama, etc. He would be fantastic on any campaign trail as the second voice on the ticket, I think.

[This is fascinating for what it DOESN'T say, namely "Kerry/Obama." It looks like even Pitt has written off Lurch. No wonder Will has been so glum lately. No campaign for him to latch onto like a parasite.]


[You can be even more informal and just call him Evil Elf.]

The announcement that Dennis Kucinich will run for President in '08 has been met with a great chorus of approving voices here. It will be very important to have a voice and a perspective like his in the race - "Hi, my name's Dennis, and I was totally right about the war all the way back in 2002" - but I have one caveat to offer that I hope you decide to take very seriously.

[Taking you seriously is hard to do, Pitt, but we'll try.]

I worked for a litle while as the Kucinich Press Secretary during the '04 run, as some of you might recall. Thanks to a variety of outside and internal circumstances, combined with my own utter lack of experience and what has to be called my rank incompetence in a position I had no grounding for, I am pretty sure you can pen me into The Book as the Worst National Campaign Press Secretary In The History Of All Known Universes.

[I think we can also pen you into The Book as the Worst Writer In The History Of All Known Universes.]

Therefore, I will put this very simply: watch the Kucinich campaign closely. If they start hiring people like me on as main staffers, be very, very, very concerned. No matter how solid a candidate may be, a campaign can die in the cradle if the staffers don't know what they are doing. If these kind of hires start happening, you are going have to wonder what the point of the exercise is, because winning anything won't be on the menu. Period.

[So you are condemning the Kucinich campaign for hiring incompetent fools like you. This sounds quite humble until you realize that it is better than admitting to rank deviousness for backstabbing the Kucinich campaign by feeding inside info to the Kerry camp while acting as the press secretary for the Evil Elf. Yes, much better to be thought of as merely incompetent than as a devious backstabber.]

'Nuff said. Cheers.

['Nuff said. Laughter. And now to hear from the Pied Piper's fellow DUmmies...]

so you admit you didn't know what you were doing while K's press secretary, and somehow that should quell support for Kucinich here? huh?

[Don't support Dennis Kucinich because he was stupid enought to hire me.]

Well, think about it. Say you're running a national campaign for high office. Would you hire someone who had no experience in the job? I'm not worried about how I look in this, because I don't matter. But if someone is running for essentially the office of national administrator, the ability to pick staff is kind of important.

[Pied Piper Pitt, in a pathetic attempt to escape scorn for backstabbing the Evil Elf, has in the process made himself unemployable in any other poltical campaign in the future. Any candidate who now hires Pitt will be condemned for stupidity in hiring such a self-confessed incompetent thanx to Pitt's own admission.]

well you must have done some kind of convincing...
on your resume or otherwise. sorry, but I truly don't understand how your shortcomings for that job back then, reflects on Anything Kucinich says today.

[The Evil Elf is sure going to appreciate that non-endorsement by Pitt. Not only did the Pied Piper backstab the Kucinich campaign but he continues to pour poison on Dennis to this day.]

It's a long story that I'm not getting into right now. But if the idea that competence in picking competent staff isn't an important skill set for a candidate or an administrator doesn't resonate with you, probably nothing else I say will convince you.

[It's a long story involving devious backstabbing that I'm not getting into right now.]

sounds more like your personal story that you've wrapped K in with. what resonates with me is what Kucinich has been saying all along. That's What Matters. not some sideshow of what you consider a dangerous weakness of his (and you being the weakest link!) that I consider rather petty and distractive, actually.

[Remember, it's ALL about Pitt.]

Didn't it have something to do with Kucinich having little money but someone on his staff liking what you wrote with Scott Ritter...about us not going into Iraq?

[Didn't it have something to with Kucinich hiring someone who was willing to backstab him for free?]

Why do you feel you were bad at it

[Because I totally betrayed the trust of my employer.]

No experience. Pretty simple. I'd never done it before, and the heat of a campaign is a crappy time for on-the-job training.

[Don't be so humble, Will. You were actually a pretty good backstabber.]

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Anonymous PWT said...

"Given this assumption, savor the flavor: Edwards/Obama, Gore/Obama, Clark/Obama, Boxer/Obama, Clinton/Obama, etc."

Does this mean that Obama is gay or just bi-curious?

10:36 AM  
Blogger heldmyw said...

Never happen. Not even as Veep.

The smirks about living in an "Obama-Nation" alone are enough to make Barack Hussein's quest a long and lonely one.

9:44 PM  
Anonymous TruthHasALiberalBias said...

[Limbaugh OWNS his show. He salary is entirely net revenue generated from his HUGE ratings. Keith would have to take a salary CUT based on that formula.]

Wrong! Look it up.

9:25 PM  
Anonymous truthhasaliberalbias said...

Here you go, dude:

"Limbaugh ... in 2001, [he] signed a nine-year contract with Premiere Radio Networks, which syndicates his show to nearly 600 stations, for a total salary package reported to exceed $200 million."

Whoops. Well, I guess you'll be printing a retraction, right?

10:14 PM  

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