Monday, December 11, 2006

Obama Orgasma

(UPDATE: In response to my suggestion that the lyrics of I Don't Know How to Love Him from the play and movie, Jesus Christ Superstar be updated for Barack Obama, faithful DUFU reader Charles Henrickson has come up with some INCREDIBLE lyrics set to the tune of that song. This is perhaps the BEST SONG parody I have ever seen. If you know of a radio talk show host, please flag him to the following song, because it is so good that it MUST be performed on the air! Read and enjoy:)

I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.

I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look!.He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!

Obama Orgasma is sweeping the Democrats! It is an uncritical love that conveniently overlooks the fact that Senator Barack Obama has almost no experience. However that doesn't matter. Obama love continues unabated and is heated up by the fact that the senator seems expert as pouring out feel-good platitudes that are almost meaningless when you analyze them. For this reason, Barack Obama has now become the Warren G. Harding of the Democrat party. Of course, when you look beyond the feel-good platitudes, one will notice that Obama has an almost perfect LIBERAL voting record. On top of that, he was involved in a real estate scandal (most likely leaked by the Clinton people) that would have ruined an unloved Republican in the same shoes. The latest outburst of Obama Orgasma occurred just yesterday in New Hampshire as you can see in this Huffington Post THREAD lovingly titled, "Standing-Room-Only As Obama Sweeps Through New Hampshire..." So let us now watch the Democrats indulge themselves in an orgy of Obama Orgasma in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, resisting the evil right-wing urge to note that his middle name is HUSSEIN, is in the [brackets]:

Standing-Room-Only As Obama Sweeps Through New Hampshire...

[I WUV my Obama! May I touch a piece of his garb? Will I be worthy enough to kiss his tush?]

The political phenomenon known as Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) descended Sunday on the state with the nation's first presidential primary, drawing enthusiastic crowds and trailed by a huge media horde as he continued to stoke interest in a possible bid for the White House in 2008.

[After he SWORE that he wouldn't run for president earlier. But this is Obama. Our true love! He can lie or change his mind at will. Doesn't matter. Not even the fact that he has almost NO experience. WE WUV OBAMA!!!]

It was standing-room-only at a book signing Sunday morning in the seacoast town of Portsmouth, where the 750 available tickets were snapped up within hours of being made available to the public early last week. Here in Manchester, 1,500 people paid $25 apiece to hear him speak at a celebration of the New Hampshire Democratic Party's historic victories in last month's midterm elections.

[Want to make some easy money? Just buy up a bunch of tickets for ANY Obama event this year and you will be sure to make thousands by selling them on eBay for all those buyers hopelessly in love with our inexperienced senator. And now to hear from the HUffies...]

I wish Obama the best...he is an excellent speaker and writer, but needs to hone his Senatorial skills and sponsor some bills...I wish he was ready for prime time, but I think he needs to hold out to '12. Still, he is a bright like among some dull bulbs (and that includes Hillary!).

[GASP! You actually want Obama to DO something? Shame on you! You are NOT worthy of loving him.]

Obama is not ready for prime time!
Despite the hype. This fellow need seasoning and REAL world gravitas before I would support him. BIDE YOUR TIME OBAMA!


I'm personally very suspicious of this unearned, media-driven, politically correct Obama-mania.It reflects more on our American superficiality and fear of substance, just like Hillary FamousLastName's clueless candidacy, and Dubbya's before that. I don't see that Obama's done anything than word strings of consensual uplifting generalities.

[Hey! If Warren G. Harding could get by with word strings of consensual uplifting generalities, then so can our beloved Obama.]

I think history has shown that personal charisma seems to be exceptionally important to Americans in presidental elections. We need to nominate the candidate with the best chance of beating the GOP candidate in 2008.

[Barack Obama Superstar. All that needs be done now is to update the lyrics of "Don't Know How To Love Him."]

Gore's got more charisma, charm, humor, fame, good looks, and whatever else you think is needed to win, than anyone as far as the eye can see.
And then there's the knowledge, the experience, the courage, the conscience, the worldwide respect...

[And the artificial crotch enhancer socks that Gore stuffs into his pants are bigger than Obama's socks. So there!]

At least he's not Hillary.

[May I place that slogan on an Obama '08 bumper sticker?]

About Obama: how low do American standards have to fall that being able to string together a sentence in correct English now qualifies you for the Oval Office...

[Well, he does have a nice smile. So I guess he is qualified to be president.]

Vilsack? Don't know anthing about him.

[At least Vilsack has the guts to WEAR a Pooh Bear on his head in public.]

Obama has an excellent chance of winning the presidency, and the republicans know that. I took a very scary trip over to the Fox "news" site to see what attack points they are pushing about Obama.... man oh man... they are digging out the dirt early, truly they are. Nasty talking points too.... they wouldnt even bother with him if they didnt think he posed a very serious threat.... they even put togeather a rather nasty video bio about him.... I think he is brilliant and way more qualified than bush ever imagined he was... Obama will run and will probably win.

[Strange that you don't actually SPECIFY what those Fox News "attack points" actually are but no matter.]

Obama is OK, nice guy.

[Good enough for me. Start playing "Hail To The Chief" in his blessed presence.]

I would like to vote for Obama in `12.

[APOSTATE! Why wait? OBAMA '08!]

So I am grateful that Al Gore lived to fight another day, and his day is fast approaching. He won in 2000, he could have won in 2004. Give him Obama as his VP...and if/when the murderous BushCabal dark forces spill Gore's blood on our nation's soul, THEN we will at least have Obama to turn to. Provided he too has not been bought and paid for by those dark bushco forces...a blight on our country and on the world. EXPOSE THEM and put them all in leg irons. Or they will continue their evil deeds.

[Obama served up as a mere gift to Al Gore? Hmmm...]

As my Grandpa used to say, "The Horse that shits fast, doesn't shit long." This will pass as fast as it arrived.

[aka Political Ex-Lax.]

Can someone give me ONE HONEST REASON why Sen. Obama should run for President? As one who is a LIBERAL and an African,I am disheartened that the Democratic party seems to gravitate towards star power, rather than a choice that can win us the White house.

[I'll give you TWO HONEST REASONS. Obama is not only nice but he is okay too.]

Yes, I can. I attended the event in Manchester yesterday. Obama was thoughtful. His words belied the media frenzy. Nobody left the meeting pumped up with Rock Star frenzy. Most left with Sen. Obama's eloquently phrased ideas turning in their heads. It was a very refreshing experience. If Barak Obama decides to run, he'll probably win. If he decides he won't, he'll do exceptional work for the American people anyway. Don't let he media paint the picture for you. Listen to the man yourself. Have the audacity to think for yourself.

[Thus spaketh a love struck Obama groupie.]

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Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

"Gore's got more charisma, charm, humor, fame, good looks, and whatever else you think is needed to win, than anyone as far as the eye can see.
And then there's the knowledge, the experience, the courage, the conscience, the worldwide respect..."

Hey PJ, what's the opposite of the Kewpie Doll award....?

Yeah, Hell yeah, run him, Democrats, then we'll see just how enlightened and free from racism your blue collar union rank-and-file voters are. That should be good for some serious mockery, when the hypocrisy of Donk VRWC-bashing gets the harsh glare of sunlight.

9:51 AM  
Blogger heldmyw said...

Obama by himself has enough problems. "A Barack Hussein Obama-Nation" for one...

I think much of the heat and smoke comes from the fact that he's "not Hillary". Or Kerry. Or Biden, Gore, Edwards, Kucinich, Vilsack, and anyone else who's been found wanting or carries more baggage than Samsonite could pack!

11:54 AM  

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