Friday, December 15, 2006

HUffies Attack Miss America

Take a good look at the photo above, guys. Okay, when you are finally done drooling uncontrollably, try to guess which one was Miss America 2001, Angela Perez Baraquio from Hawaii. It's impossible to pick out who was Miss America because all seven of the Baraquio sisters are STUNNING. Yes, you read that right. I wrote "sisters." Amazingly, those Baraquio sisters are all so hot looking that ANY one of them could have been crowned as Miss America. For this reason I am not going to pick out which of those stunnees was the actual Miss America. Does it really matter? Oh, I think there is a purpose to this DUmmie FUnnies edition but I am so dazzled by that photo that it is hard to come to my senses. Give me a moment here to recover..... Okay, I think I now remember. Senator Sam Brownback has has hired Miss America 2001, Angela Perez Baraquio (she could be any of the women in the photo), to join his presidential exploratory committee. As a result he is getting slammed for this by the HUffies at the HUffington Post as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Potential '08 GOP Candidate Brownback Recruits Fmr. Miss America To Serve On Exploratory Committee..." Personally, Brownback isn't exactly my cup of tea. He comes off a bit too nerdy and we saw how nerds fare back in 1988 when powerwalking nerd, Michael Dukakis, slipped badly in the polls from a solid lead to a landslide loss. On a related matter, the DUmmie FUnnies will soon be endorsing a candidate for presidential nomination whose identity will absolutely shock you. However, despite our reservations about Brownback, we heartily salute him on his choice of Miss America to join his presidential exploratory committee. We only wish he had chosen ALL of the Baraquio sisters to join his committee so they could tour America and feel the pulse of the public. Meanwhile, let us now watch the HUffies grumble like angry little trolls over Miss America in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, inviting all the Baraquio sisters to be his Imperial Court Maidens when he is coronated as Emperor Of All The Known Blogospheres at Las Vegas BlogWorld next November, is in the [brackets]:

Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas, has recruited a former Miss America and a former U.S. Senate candidate to join his presidential exploratory committee. Former U.S. Senate candidate Jerry Zandstra of Michigan and former Miss America 2001 Angela Perez Baraquio of Hawaii will help communicate Brownback's platform in their respective states, the senator's exploratory committee announced Thursday.

[Jerry Zandstra is like whatever act immediately preceded the Beatles when they appeared for the first time on the Ed Sullivan Show. Doomed to be immediately forgotten.]

T&A and religion--yup, that pretty much sums up the Republican strategy for politicking.

[I'm sort of partial to the T&A part myself.]

Anita Bryant must have turned down the offer.

[Does Anita Bryant also have six hot looking sisters?]

Wow those are some incredibly sexist comments you both just made. Just because she is beautiful and was a fmr. Miss America she cannot get involved in politics? Makes sense.

[More Miss Americas need to get involved in politics.]

Precisely what is Brownback exploring with Miss America?

[I'm not sure but I would love to be the point man of his exploration expedition.]

Since the Queen of America hasn't married and had kids I assume she uses contraception and is (like every "good" Catholic)as full of shit as a Christmas Turkey.

[Feel the love!]

Brownback's working for the Pope.

[He receives daily instructions from the Vatican.]

Brownback is a religious lunatic. According to Brownback, America should "be run by The Church and big business". He is a true religious fascist, and he's completely insane. God help us all if this lunatic get into the Whitehouse.

[Oh yes. How we all remember that famous Brownback speech (which no one can locate) about how America should "be run by The Church and big business".]

That's a sex scandal waiting to happen. I can't wait.

[If Miss America were interning for Bill Clinton, that statement would be correct.]

Beauty and The Beast

[Now being remade as a movie starring Barbara Streisand called, "Ugly and The Beast."]

Brownback is a dangerous bible thumping nut job.

[At least he isn't thumping interns like Billy Boy.]

Oh, everyone, please do not be so hard on Sam Brownback. With his "stuck in the fifties" world view, it might be fun to watch him expose his fundamentalist Nazi views for four years.

[Only a HUffie would be hard on Sam Brownback when Miss America is on the scene.]

Early on, such a decision doesn't bode well for this candidate as far as his depth...

[I agree. Brownback should have had ALL the Hawaiian Baraquio sisters on his exploratory committee instead of just one.]

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Senator Sam Brownback has has hired Miss America 2001"

10:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any of the 4 on the left.

Hubba hubba.

Yes, I can see why the Brickenstock and granola women on the left, and their pseudo-men, would get all "Huffy".

2:54 PM  
Blogger Radish said...

Since the Queen of America hasn't married and had kids I assume she uses contraception and is (like every "good" Catholic)as full of shit as a Christmas Turkey.

No wonder they're so grumpy all the damn time, if they're putting shit in the turkey instead of stuffing.

5:20 PM  
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