DUmmie FUnnies 01-19-06 ("Al-Jazeera Airs New Bin Laden Tape")
As soon as I heard the news that a new Osama Bin Laden tape had been released, my first thought was that the DUmmies would view this TOTALLY thru the lens of Bush Hate. A quick check with my DUmmie Ant Farm did not disappoint. The critters in the DUmmie Ant Farm are rushing about in circles all atwitter in outrage, not at Osama, but at Bush as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Al-Jazeera Airs New Bin Laden Tape." So let us now sit back and be royally entertained by DUmmie conspiracy theories again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, sitting on the first row of the DUmmie Firesign Theater of the Absurd, is in the [brackets]:
MSNBC Breaking: Al-Jazeera Airs New Bin Laden Tape ...broadcast on Al Jazeera, being translated now by MSNBC translator, OBL promising new attacks on the US.
[With the exception of DUmmieland. DUmmieland is doing just fine on its own in attacking America.]
Were bad poll numbers expected today?
[Of course. That's why the RNC called up Bin Laden and told him to release the tape to bolster the poll ratings.]
There must be something coming up about the Bush administration
some indictments maybe?
[Of course. That's why the RNC called up Bin Laden and told him to release the tape to divert attention from the indictments.]
When is the next vote to extend the Patriot Act?
[Of course. That's why the RNC called up Bin Laden and told him to release the tape to help the extension of the Patriot Act.]
My guess, Rove's calculated that he needs the confluence of multiple "crises" to give BushCo the absolute powers they need in time to avoid their own removal.
[What incisive analysis, DUmmie. Karl Rove called up Bin Laden and asked him to release the tape to help the Evil Bush Regime grab absolute power before they can be removed.]
Wanna bet it's a fake?
[It's really Karl Rove using a voice scrambler.]
To distract from Abramoff?
Or in anticipation of Rove's indictment by Fitzgerald?
[MERRY FITZMAS!!! Unfortunately you haven't noticed that the Grinch has stolen Fitzmas.]
The real Osama or the fake Osama?
[Neither. It is Karl Rove on Memorex.]
My, but he has alot of free time to be monitoring Bush's poll numbers, eh ? Very suspicious.
[Osama Bin Laden has been sitting in a mountain cave for years obsessed with only one thing---Bush's poll numbers.]
Just as the scandals are coming to a boil. And the Dems are scoring some good hits against the rethugs. Also, it's an election year, and the rethug prospects are looking grim. Time to roll OSB out of the crypt.
[That retainer fee the RNC paid to Osama has sure come in handy.]
I wonder if anyone, other than freepers, falls for this anymore? No one I know does, including Republicans. It's just become part of everyday life now. Like predictions of bad storms, that sometimes happen and sometimes don't.
[Speaking of falling for something...what happened to that $10 you sent to Bev Harris so that Kerry would be inaugurated on Jan. 20?]
Damn!! Jr must pay obl very well for this!
[Osama Bin Laden is just $10 away from helping Jr out of a jam.]
can't wait to see Olbermann's take on this tonight.
[It can't possibly be any FUnnier than the DUmmie take.]
Jeez, doesn't this Osama look a lot like Karl Rove?
[Slap a towel on Rove's head, keep him away from a razor blade for a month, and they are mirror images.]
I think I had better go down to the basement and make certain my duct tape and plastic are still safely stored away. Start storing water and food people!!
[You won't be needing water and food after you duct tape your nose and mouth and cover your head in plastic.]
Osama bin Laden: on the payroll for Bush? Always showing up at just the "right" time for Bush, he must be Bush's most ardent supporter, because he does everything he can to keep Bush in power.
[The secret payments in brown paper bags are made to Osama Bin Laden by Lucy Ramirez aboard a SunCruz Casino boat.]
Take my rights, PLEEAAASSEEE, just keep me SAFE from the big bad Osama - take my 1st, my 2nd, my 4th, and most importantly, my 22nd amendment right, just proteeeeecctt mmmeeeeeeeeee from the Big Bad Wolf!!! PLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEE, Big Daddy, PPLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE!!!
[Take my brain, PLEEAAASSEEE, just make me SANE again. Heeeeeeeelp mmmeeeeeeeeee!!! PLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEE, Doctor, PPLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE!!!]
why am i not one bit surprised....i really dont think this works with the average citizen any longer...just too transparent...ONLY if one listens to the corporate media shills...and they just continue to be a joke...i cant wait until the backsplash from their bullshit is all over their faces ...and bogus untruthful treasonous careers
[Yeah, the average citizen is just as LOOOOOONY as the average DUmmie. They will see that Osama Bin Laden is on the RNC payroll. And the average citizen is also hopping around on pogo sticks and waving butterfly nets.]
Oh-It's his PENIS & He's Gonna make him DANCE!
Oh it's his penis just peeking out...He always does that before F*CKING America...
Bush's little penis O'sama...What mischief will he do next?.
[A tapdance on Monica's lips.]
probably made in texas right after roves roast...and then shuttled via top secret security to the steps of al jazeera
[Lucy Ramirez is the one who makes the delivery.]
they probably practice dressing up in beards and robes and superimpose Bin Ladin's face on them by computer?
God I f*cking hate these people. Words just can't even express... How about when he came out to tell us if we voted for Kerry, there would be another attack? F*cking pigs. Excuse my language, I'm just so angry right now. They're gonna get away with everything, again, and all they had to do was pull out OBL and dust him off.
[Yup! You nailed it! Kerry was going to win the election in 2004 so Rove ordered up the release of a computer generated Osama video telling us there would be attacks if we voted for Kerry which ended up hurting Kerry and giving the election to Bush. Let that thought eat away like acid on your insides day after day.]
They need a super villain to keep up the angst in the American people...Yesterday it was the communists...today it's OBL and the terrorists.
[Who knew that Osama the CGI effect could be so useful to us?]
I still think they have him on dialysis in the White House basement ... they probably thought about bringing him out after Katrina, but thought they'd better keep him down there to drag out as a trophy when there's some even BIGGER disaster.
[Didn't you read the above reply? We have Osama as a CGI effect to be carted out whenever Bush needs a boost in the polls or schemes to take away all our rights when he assumes absolute power as dictator.]
Dammit, this is exactly why...the Democrats suck. I can't find a single major liberal blog out there talking about this now - it's as if they're shying away from it, they don't know what to say.
[This is because you DUmmies are UNIQUE in your looooniness.]