Monday, January 12, 2009

Pitt Wants To Sit At Political Grownups Table

In case you haven't already heard, the DUmmie FUnnies was mentioned in the Wall Street Journal. Yes, you can see the very name of this blog in that august publication right HERE underneath an article about the poor timing of a Global Warming horror flick ("The Thaw") that was due to be released in the midst of the coldest weather in years. I have it on very good authority that a representative of that movie's production company was not exactly happy over that article.

Now on to the DUFUs... No, Mr. Pitt. You may NOT sit at the adults political table. You are doomed to sit forever at the DUmmies table and regale them with your self-serving erroneous tales. It must be killing Pitt. Finally the Democrats are back in power in all three branches of government and yet there is no place for the bard of Bukowski's. In a parallel universe, Karl Rove was indicted on May 12, 2006 and Pitt along with his cohort, Jason Leopold, were hailed for their amazing journalistic "scoop" which in reality was nothing more than a desperate Hail Mary pass which was nothing more than a pathetic attempt to gain fame and relevance on the sly. The problem was they were believing media sources like MSNBC's David Shuster who practically guaranteed Karl Rove's imminent indictment and his source was none other than the investigative team of Leopold & Lib. Well, their Hail Mary pass failed dramatically and William Rivers Pitt has been exiled to the state of total irrelevance. He has made himself poison to the Democrats and is now fated to live out the rest of his life in near total obscurity except for here on the DUmmie FUnnies where he continues to provide great comedy material, although at a much lower rate than before due to his severe Bukowski's imbibing habit. Somehow Pitt still hasn't quite gotten the message of his irrelevance and is once again attempting to become a political player even if it as gopher for the assistant to the deputy secretary of the Deparment of Nothing Much in the Obama Administration as which is really the ulterior purpose of his THREAD titled, "I hate to say this, but...I'm pretty God damned excited about the upcoming Obama administration. Sorry Pitt but your phony admiration for Obama comes a bit late. First you were sucking up to Hillary in DUmmieland when she looked like a sure thing. Then you pretended to have really been a supporter of the Breck Girl all along when John Edwards was safely out of the race. And now you are licking Obama's boots. Too little and too late. So let us now watch William Rivers Pitt attempt to leave the DUmmie kiddie's table in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying his 15 business minutes of Wall Street Journal fame, is in the [barackets]:

I hate to say this, but...I'm pretty God damned excited about the upcoming Obama administration.

[I hate to say this but your new sucking up to the Obama administration won't work.]

I know, I know, it cuts against the grain around here. I might be a bigot, a sellout, an appeaser, a fascist, a dupe...hell, around here, I'm all that and more for actually being pleased about the imminent arrival of a Democratic administration and Democratic majorities in the House and Senate.

[It's going to be FUn to watch the Pied Piper finally turn on the Obama administration when no job is forthcoming despite a major suckup campaign on his part.]

What can I say? I'm incorrigible.

[More like incoherent.]

I'm excited. So there.

[That excitement will quickly die away when you find that your routine of nightly stumbling home from Bukowski's hasn't changed a bit. And now on to the other DUmmies...]

I'm in your camp on this!

[Sorry, no room for DUmmies at the inn...unless it's Bukowski's.]

Just don't say you support Gupta as SG. That will really get you drawn and quartered. I'm excited too - I can't help being excited. Bushco GONE!!!! And, seeing Cheney and Rove all over TV cautioning Obama about what and what not to do makes me very happy indeed.

[Rove is out on bail after having been indicted on May 12, 2006?]

Even floating that name was, to me, a bewildering decision. But I can still feel excitement even when I have disagreements. I can also walk and chew gum at the same time. I know. Craziness.

[Yes, Pitt. You can walk and chew gum when going to Bukowski's but not when stumbling back home in the early AM.]

You are vast you contain multitudes... Love ya, man.

[Pitt contains multitudes of fertilizer for the DUmmie imagination.]

ah! I was gonna reply with the "multitudes" line and you go and use it. F*ck it. My day is ruined now. I hate Obama. We're doomed. See that? I can turn on a goddam dime.

[You can turn on a dime, Will, when that is all a glass of Bukowski's beer costs at the 5 AM Happy Hour.]

Everywhere I look... people with a tingle going up their leg. I'm old. I seem to recall tingles. Can't be sure, though.

[Maybe it isn't a tingle going up your leg that you're feeling but a tinkle going down your leg.]

Cautiously optimistic Which beats the hell out of paralyzing gloom and despair.

[That will come later when you discover that Obama is adverse to making decisions.]

Can you imagine the McPalin transition team appointments? Damn, my gratitude is infinite that we can bicker about Sanjay Gupta et al instead.

[I'm imagining McPalin team appointments sans the Mc in four years.]

Like a new captain taking the wheel of the Titanic after it hit the iceberg. Very exciting. I am optimistic too. Just make sure to get on one of the lifeboats.

[Hmm... This sounds like a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

i pinch myself still upon hearing these three words... "President-elect Obama"

[And we know just where you're pinching yourself, Ben Burch.]

"Land rapist" is a new one

[Could we get a definition of that term from the Temporary SockPuppet, Will?]

After the inauguration, it's OPEN SEASON on Bush and gang, AFAIC.

[You're already booking them into The Haig?]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn. I miss Troglaman.

After the inauguration, it's OPEN SEASON on Bush and gang, AFAIC.

Still having "Daddy problems" I see.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I fear that the DUmmies are now living in what will be remembered as "the good old days".

When the realities of governing the country really set in, and Emperor Zero is FORCED to make pragmatic, centrist decisions or face total disaster, the DUmmies are going to explode en masse.

There isn't going to be enough dough for Socialist Health Care, there WILL be tax cuts (because they work), no persecution of Bush or staff, no instant pullout of Iraq or Afghanistan... in short.

Status Quo to the point that these whiners are really stunned.

Grab the popcorn, Ma. It should be fun!

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"After the inauguration, it's OPEN SEASON on Bush and gang, AFAIC."

Like that hasn't happened already! Where has Pit BEEN for the last eight years, the floor at Bukowski's?

BTW, Pitt, I thought you were leaving the DU? What's the matter, did the Cubans turn down your immigration application AGAIN?

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Shambhala said...
Damn. I miss Troglaman."

Yeah. What happened to him? Maybe his computer is frozen up due to all this global warming we've been having.

THAT DAMN BUSH! I suppose.

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That piece of garbage is being directed by the same guy who directed Fido? For shame. Fido was awesome.

2:27 PM  
Blogger The Gunslinger said...

Gitmo will not be closed either. Zero is finally figuring out that some of the people there are 'bad'.


The DUmmies will go crazy.

God, I can't wait.

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Gitmo will not be closed either. Zero is finally figuring out that some of the people there are 'bad'. D'oh...The DUmmies will go crazy. God, I can't wait." Gunslinger

Gitmo will be closed. You, my Gary Cooper loving friend, are wrong. Like always.

The challenge of Gitmo is what to do with those who've been coerced. If the prisoners land on US soil, testimony, no matter what the value, would be thrown out of court if deemed coerced. So even if the detainee is dangerous, the fact that they've already been coerced has stunk-up the whole shootin-match. Why? Because it's against the law. Coerced confessions are against American law. And yet this is what W has left us. A fairly hefty bunch of killers who's testimony was coerced and therefore not allowed in a US court. Great. What forethought. Brilliant.

And if any of you are about to justify coerced confessions, let me just issue a pre-emptive FUCK YOUR BASEMENT STALKING MOTHER right now and be done with it.

3:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Gitmo will be closed. You, my Gary Cooper loving friend, are wrong. Like always."

It is you who is wrong, Trog. Gitmo is a military base and it will NOT be closed as it that base is vital to the defense of the Gulf of Mexico.

The only thing that will change for the detainees is their location. Obama plans to MOVE them from Gitmo to another base, most likely here in America. Their fate will remain the same, it's only their view outside the fence that will change

"If the prisoners land on US soil, testimony, no matter what the value, would be thrown out of court if deemed coerced."

Wrong again, Trog. US criminal and civil law does not extent to military bases, as they are military reserves and thus are covered by the Uniform Code of Military Justice. The rules of evidence that applies to CIVILIAN Courts do not necessary apply to MILITARY Courts. Had you ever had any military experience, you would have known this.

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I see Troglaman - Chief Moonbat and Anti-American Guttersnipe of the DUmmie FUnnies - lied and is back around here slamming his head as far up his ass as possible to spew mental excrement everywhere.

And we had just finally got cleaned up from his last foaming at the mouth tirades....oh well...

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops, Trogladouche forgot to lock the barnyard door! Again.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another day, another Bush, Cheney Rove plot to perpetrate another 9/11 for Halliburton uncovered by Kayinsane!

George says today the biggest threat Barack Obama will have to face is another attack on our nation. Gee, now that’s weird. you and Dick Cheney been in contact with your neocons at the Pentagon, the CIA, the FBI, the FAA, and NORAD to conspire a new attack like the one on 9/11/01, because really, Bill Clinton made America safe after the 1993 WTC bombing….until you came along and decided to spend the first 9 months in 2001 talking about Saddam Hussein, rather than, Osama bin Laden (who is on the Bush Family & Friends Oil Cartel payroll Spit.)

Yep, the attack you wanted went very smoothly that morning on 9/11 and I’m sure your neocons are planning another one! No wonder you’re so confident that a new attack is coming! The enemy you talk about still is truly you and your Oil Cartel

George tells us today….Abu Graib was one of his disappointments, as well as, Iraq not having weapons of mass destruction. (Said nothing about Osama bin Laden being dead and how his CIA faked Osama’s voice for audios to scare the pants off Americans)

He thinks more people should get in their houses in New Orleans and doesn’t think the Federal response was slow. Spit. He then tells us 30,000 were pulled off their roofs, but refused to admit that 29,654 were kidnapped and brought to Texas

the next terrorist attack which surely is in the works now because Bush’s neocons are still in office! after 8 years of George Bush the world hates us and the terrorists were emboldened under him….including those in his inner circle who have stolen TRILLIONS to start their own ‘al-Qaida’ death squad

Not to be outdone she throws in a lesbian love lick to her arid, dusty meat curtained paramour Helen Thomas!

Helen Thomas: the lone voice of reason, passionate, and the holder-of-George-Bush’s-feet-to-the-fire-er-rer…Love Helen.

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

troglaman 3:04am

Li'l Mr. Fussy is back! Right on cue too.

Oh, and when your mom washes your mouth out with soap, I believe Ralphie said avoid the Lifebouy brand.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Couldn't stay away, could you? Which is it: big frog, small pond or fool returning to his folly?

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Had you ever had any military experience, you would have known this." Ray

"Susan Crawford, the “top Bush administration official in charge of deciding whether to bring Guantanamo Bay detainees to trial,” tells Bob Woodward in today’s Washington Post that the United States military tortured Mohammed al-Qahtani, one of the planners of the 9/11 attacks. As a result, Crawford decided the U.S. could not prosecute Qahtani"

" 'We tortured [Mohammed al-]Qahtani,' said Susan J. Crawford, in her first interview since being named convening authority of military commissions by Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates in February 2007. 'His treatment met the legal definition of torture. And that's why I did not refer the case" for prosecution'."

See, here's the thing, Ray. Despite your vast knowledge of everything military, it seems curious that you don't get the fact that the person in charge of military prosecutions has just recently said that she can't prosecute terrorists because she's hamstrung by the fact they were tortured. If they had not been tortured, she could proceed with a prosecution and put them fucking down. But no. As it always is with you guys, goatfuckin and genital electrodes...the impulse just takes over and...(ugly redneck visual right now...really painful...can't move my mouth)

It has nothing to do with where these terrorists are imprisoned, you peach pit. It has to do with the fact their prosecution has been IMPAIRED by fuckin torture. I know it's a brave new world for you folks, but torture has been frowned upon since...hmmm...the time of Jesus maybe? It's also, as we speak, illegal. So illegal, as it turns out, that the military cannot prosecute our happily detained cache of 'enemy combatants'. I have this eerie feeling you might be attracted to the notion of a vast array of dirty, sweaty, enemy combatants, ray. I say this because my own inner homo has raised his ugly head.

BTW. I took it for granted that one could differentiate Gitmo, the prison, from Guantanamo Bay, the navel base. You're right, I aimed too high.

2:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Which is it: big frog, small pond or fool returning to his folly?" elrond

Neither. But a worthy framework. Would that be yours or mine?

2:53 AM  

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