Sunday, December 28, 2008

DUmmies blast away in the War On Warren!

What's the biggest issue facing America these days? The economy? The mortgage crisis? The Iran threat? Iraq? Afghanistan? The War On Terror? You might think it would be one of these, but . . . you would be wrong, at least according to the DUmmies. No, the biggest issue--the biggest CRISIS--facing our fair land is that President-Elect Obama has invited Rick Warren to deliver an invocation at his inauguration. THIS MEANS WAR--THE WAR ON WARREN!!! The homos and the heteros in DUmmieland are having a pissing contest (well, not literally--although some might enjoy that) to see who can be the more righteous in their indignation, while at the same time many of the heteros are trying to say this is not th biggest issue going. For example, here's a THREAD, "You used to be able to come here to DU," which, without directly stating it in the opening post, complains that DU has been taken over by THE All-Consuming Topic these days, i.e, the War On Warren (WOW). So recline your saddle back, settle in, and watch the sparks fly, in Purpose Driven Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who doesn't care much for Warren as a theologian and pastor but would agree with him, I think, on social issues (abortion and homosexuality), is in the [brackets]:

You used to be able to come here to DU . . .

[. . . without seeing 400 threads on Rick Warren.]

and gets all kind of weird, random information nuggets about politics and world news. . . .

[Prepare for weird.]

Being a member made you feel like a well-informed, plugged-in human being.

[You may not want to say "plugged-in" on this thread.]

I've had enough of listening to people trying to attract bees with vinegar, let's try some honey for once and see how that works.

[HoneyBacked Ham?]

I'm not ready to jump down someone's throat. . . .

[Some are.]

I . . . want to talk about the economic stimulus package. . . .

[Others are interested in another kind of stimulus package.]

I want to talk about what kind of investments will be made in wind and solar. . . .

[BOR-ING!! Let's get to the War On Warren!]

What are we going to do to combat urban sprawl. . . ?

[zzzzzzzzzz. . . .]

what are the details so far for the withdrawal from Iraq? . . . What are we doing in Afghanistan?

[Who cares?]


{You're getting warmer. . . .]

So please do PM all your friends to flame my post within 30 seconds of it being posted. . . .

[There will be a lot of flamers here shortly, don't worry. In fact, I see them approaching. . . .]

I'm an Erie Canal guy in San Francisco. . . .

[I bet you are.]

There are other forums than GDP. This one is like Thunderdome crossed with the news of the day.


Maybe if you didn't make post after post telling LGBT people to shut up you wouldn't get flamed.

[Is it LGBT? GLBT? QWERTY? LSMFT? I'm so confused. (Well, so are they.)]

I'm not telling people to shut up. . . . I'm saying screaming at people . . . pure emotional venting over the same thing for weeks on end is morbid and unhealthy. . . .

[Hey, that's what DUmmies do.]

I believe in gay marriage.

[I believe in Cubs championships, but sometimes two words just don't go together.]

Too many people are running at the mouth and lumping people in groups. . . .

[You just got benburch's interest!]

you are boxing me up in this neat little box. . . .

[ben: "Yes!"]

I'm a battle-scarred old dyke. . . . I live in rural mother-f*cking Idaho. . . .

[Where Boise will be Boise and so will the dykes.]

I'm an insolent little pr*ck. . . .

[Self-recognition is the first step toward healing.]

I think we delay it by fighting among ourselves on and on over that f*cking *ssh*le Warren.

[The Name That Must Be Blamed has been mentioned! And that brings up Cali Prop 8 . . .]

A lot of the gay community . . . partied and f*cked off instead of going into the Central Valley and drumming up votes.

[They were too busy going into the Central Valley.]

I'm bi, my husband is a hedonist, you're the one that's gay criminy you're queer remember?

[The Democrats are just like us. Keep repeating this.]

Telling someone to shut up after one thread is rude. Telling them to shut up after thread # 4,987 is to be expected.

[Make that 4,988.]

I think it's SO MUCH BETTER now that every other post is devoted to screaming about two minutes on January 20th.

[The New and IMPROVED DUmmieland!]

Yeah and every other post is devoted to telling teh gays to shut up and get over it.

[Shut up and get over it.]

One could sympathize with a thread wishing we had elected a President who would pick a more neutral minister. . . .

[But Barry is the first Saddleblack President.]

The 3,900 threads on DU give Warren as much attention as the invocation does!


Nobody'll be paying much attention to the invocation on Jan. 20.

[I won't even be paying attention to the inauguration.]

I've never seen so much made of so little.

[One Kewpie Doll, on the way!]

If you click on"Latest Discussions"... You'll find about 28 threads that do not mention Gays or Warren. You can read about a missing baby, polar bears, a tornado warning, The NRA, Children Centers closing, Jewish guys who write Christian songs, Life after Death (or not), A pink hippo (SeRIoUSly!), Whaling, A nasty Ash flow in Tennessee, Basque Seperatists in Spain, Karl Rove, Tension in Gaza with right wing Israelis, A car that runs on Lipo-sucked fat (Eeeuuuwww!!!!), The stunning and talented Eartha Kitt, The Taliban, Cookie recipes, A shoplifting dog (Sheeptramp recommends this one!), The Mother F*cking DUZYS!!!!!!!!

[I wanted a pink hippo for Christmas.]

I'm ready to find something here besides a constant outpouring of anger, bile and misery. . . .

[You've come to the wrong place.]

I've been kicking and rec'ing every non-Warren post for the last 5 days. . . .

[All three of them.]

Warren is a moron.

[That's "moran."]

I did see several posters get TSed for choosing an anti-GLBT response to a poll.

[Don't TS me, bro!]

non-GLBT community members need to learn to recognize GLBT anger. . . .

[What's Eating GLBT Grape?]

I guess it comes down to everyone deciding how pissed off they're going to be, and at what.


The OP is mad and going to pout and wave their little fists. . . .

[Others will be doing other things with their little fists.]

I heart LGBT people.

[I club Rick Warren.]

we worked so hard to get the guy elected, what other choice do we have?

[How about . . . IMPEACH OBAMA NOW!!]

Concern trolls are Freepers who come here to kill our moral.

[DUmmies don't have any morals, so how can we kill them?]

Ah ok. There's the rub...

[Quiet, ben.]

Very little gets accomplished on DU.

[Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

if you want to get something accomplished, you have to get offline.


don't start a thread about how the evil glbts won't let you talk about the economy and blow smoke up our @sses telling us it isn't an anti-glbt STFU thread.

[Just blow the smoke up our @sses.]

I have battled with and detested organized religion for a long as my conscious memory stretches back.

[I myself detest DISorganized religion.]

We won't calm down.


How many threads do people need to fire up to express themselves about Warren?


I'm not a "dude." I'm a middle aged lesbian.

[Same difference.]

DU goes through a constant ebb and flow of infighting. . . .

[When was the ebb? I must've missed it.]

ROCK ON GAY DUERS!! We've finally found our voice here and we're not SHUTTING UP!

["The love that dare not speak its name" has become the love that won't shut up.]

it's a swarm. . . .

[A Perfect ROVIAN Swarm!]

There are some people here who simply wish those queers would shut the f*ck up so Barack can begin his great progressive journey towards turning America into the United States of Peace and Candy.

[The Candyman can!]

I fully expect 8,000 more Warren threads in the next 24 days leading to the Inauguration. . . .


A lot of people on these forums don't know how to win gracefully. They remind me of my ex-wife.

[Is that you, Doug?]

My head just exploded. . . .

[The Percussed Driven Head.]

Obama ran as a uniter but his election divided the DU like crazy.

[The fact that Obambi cannot even unite the DEMOCRATS gives me hope--for the country AND for the DUmmie FUnnies! Hee! Hee!]


Blogger Chicago Ray said...

Funny stuff from the lib loonbin PJ, and they claim liberalism isn't a mental disorder? That alone is proof it is....

The fact that even some dems somewhat condemn their red cheeked ankle grabbing constituents gives at least some hope for some of these people, but not much.

7:54 PM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

Uh... 30 states have put up the "Gay Marriage" question, and 30 states have said "NO".

California did it, and... there's a surprise here?

Sorry kidz! Your personal brand of perversion doesn't qualify as 'marriage', and your rights are not abrogarted in the least!

You have the same right to marry a person of the opposite sex as I do.

You just can't take sodomy or 'mutual dildo recreation' and apply the same legal, moral and religious definition to it.


8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's are Mother F*cking DUZYS!!!!!!!! ???

Surprised there's not a thread or two about re-occuring skin conditions they must get from spending so much time down in Mom's basement.

GLBT are such angry people... sheesh !!!

5:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heart LGBT people.

[I club Rick Warren.]

I spade cats.

I diamond Jim Brady.


7:03 AM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

I had thought the election of Obama would calm down the DUmmies and make them happier. I should have realized that nothing can calm them or make them happy. They're miserable, they're enraged, they're crazy. Like leftists everywhere can't get along with anyone--even themselves. Let the purges begin, re-open the gulag, up against the wall, motherfucker.

Still, they're fun to read, it's an insight into a world of political lunacy, bad grammer, potty mouth and utter stupidity.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Bilgeman said...

This is SO DU:

"Being a member made you feel like a well-informed, plugged-in human being."

You wren't really more well-informed, but you FELT like you were.
It's all about the self-esteem, ain't it?

But the BEST line is this one:

"A lot of the gay community . . . partied and f*cked off instead of going into the Central Valley and drumming up votes"

And what exactly would that entail?

A pack of San Francisco queers out and and about, agitating among the farmers and the mostly Catholic immigrant farm laborers?

WTF..."Priscilla, Queen of the Lettuce Field"?

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"ROCK ON GAY DUERS!! We've finally found our voice here and we're not SHUTTING UP!"

So, the Democratic Underground has now become the Gay Underground? Man, it must suck to have your entire forum hijacked!

I guess we'll have to change their names from DUmmies to GUmmies! Heh.

7:20 PM  

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