Friday, February 29, 2008

"Clinton threatening lawsuit over TX caucuses?"

File this DUFU edition in the Karmatic Kickback department. The Left is getting a taste of their own medicine. After years, starting with the 2000 election, of attempting to litigate elections in their own favor, the Democrats are now turning the lawyering process on each other as you can see in this STORY which appeared in the Kansas City Star and other newspapers. The Hillary Clinton campaign is threatening a lawsuit over the Texas caucuses. Yeah, if you can't win at the ballot box, then overturn the results in the courtroom. That seems to be the Democrat way as Al Gore can attest. Meanwhile this threatened lawsuit is causing an uproar of outrage in the Leftwing Blogosphere as you can see in this KOmmieland THREAD titled, "DEVELOPING: Clinton threatening lawsuit over TX caucuses?" So let us now watch the KOmmies swallow the bitter taste of their own medicine in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Charles Henrickson might soon have to update his highly plagiarized "Palm Beach Pokey" song parody to take into account the Texas election litigation, is in the [brackets]:

DEVELOPING: Clinton threatening lawsuit over TX caucuses?

[Enjoy the taste of your own medicine!]

McClatchy Newspapers' Jay Root is reporting in the Kansas City Star that the Clinton campaign may have threatened to pursue legal action against the Texas Democratic Party to block or dispute the results of the Texas caucus.

[I am smelling the hidden hand of Icky Harold Ickes in this. He is the type to WIN at all costs.]

The threats are apparently serious enough that the state Party issued a sharply-worded letter to both campaigns to dissuade any legal action:

[Legal actions can only be pursued against the EVIL Republicans. Never against fellow Democrats...until now. Let us now join the KOmmies in mid-outrage...]

Too many super delegates defecting! Only wat to win is in the courts!

[Wat, Me Worry?]

Desperation - a campaign gasping for air

[FUn to watch!]

I hear they've started polling dead people there.

[Including Landslide Lyndon's 202 out of 203 votes in Box 13.]

All Hillary's Lawyers Guns and Money won't steal this primary process from us!

[Wanna bet? Hee! Hee!]

Aren't lawsuits how Republicans get into office?

[Like into the gubernatorial office of Washington State?]

If you can't win by preparation and hard work then I guess HRC's team thinks it's okay go to court and say the rules are wrong. Sucks.

[Hillary is plagiarizing Algore.]

Man, not a day goes by when the Clinton campaign doesn't do its level best to sound exactly like the Republicans.

[The Hillary campaign is sounding exactly like the Algore campaign in Florida.]

Now That THUNDER ROAD Runs The Hillary Campaign Expect all those Outside-The-Party long knives that have been bashing the Republicans for 7 years to be turned on US...

[I thought THUNDER BUNS runs the Hillary Campaign.]

It's more likely that HRC will get dragged out of the Pepsi Center by her ankles than concede defeat to Barack Obama.

[Getting one's hand around those ample ankles would be quite a feat.]

the ugly part will be after she loses and her hacks work volunteer for the other side, leaking bitter background oppo tidbits, out of spite.

[Hee! HEE! Republicans can relax this election season. Hillary will be doing their work for them.]

Funny, Many Thought These Tactics Were REPUBLICAN

[Hmmm... Democrats are the ones who constantly try to litigate the election results in court and these tactics are somehow REPUBLICAN?]

Clinton's Brownshirts Bluffing Blackmail... scenario. Threatening the Texas political process is certainly a really great way to show Texas and the world what an excellent diplomat and peace maker Hilary will be...way to go team Clinton, you've done it again. Here's a hint Hilary. Of all the people in the United States, you do not, repeat do not pull this on Texas people. Texans will chew you up, spit you out and you won't ever be welcome again in their state. As usual HRC must be getting all that excellent advise from her people who are suffering from a really bad case of the "stupids".

[I'm wif stoopid!]

Obama better have f*cking good lawyers...

[Yeah, forget about election results. What really counts in determining the victor is which team has better lawyers.]

I wonder if a certain ultrasuccessful trial lawyer from North Carolina might be willing to give him a hand.

[The Breck Girl will channel the spirit of young LBJ in court.]

Lawyers As Far As The Eye Can See, Shooting ItOut. WE created these monsters, even helped to finance them. So why are we surprised when they turn thier guns ON US???

[Is that you, Al Gore?]

She hates participatory democracy, unless she wins. That makes her Not a Democrat.

[How about a Democrat-ICkes?]

Take her authoritarian, Democrat-crushing, racist, criminal Cheney-lite ass to the f*cking cleaners Poblano. It's way past f*cking time.

[Right now I am picturing the rail riding scene in O Brother, Where Art Thou?. Only instead of Homer Stokes being carried out atop a rail, it is Hillary.]

She's going to lose Texas by 10+ and she knows it. Rasmussen shows Obama ahead by 7 in the early voting. What this is about now is making a gigantic mess and undermining Obama's candidacy--in the delusional world of the Clitnons a run in 2012 is possible. It's why she played the gender card, and suggested Obama had unfair advantages tonight. It's why there's this lawsuit. The goal: get 3-5% of the party to stay home in November and hand the presidency to John McCain.

[Hee! Hee!]

Hillary is so blinded by her desperation to be co-president with Bill again that she will do anything, no matter how sleazy or how much long-term damage it does to the party. She is determined that she will either win the nomination this time around, or poison the well so badly that Obama loses and she can run again in 2012.

[Hillary will be the GOP's secret weapon this November in defeating Obama. GO HILLARY!!!]

It's high time for Clinton to exit this race. I just hope that the voters of Texas, Ohio, Vermont, and Rhode Island send her a clear message by voting for Obama and hastening her departare. How much more damage is she going to do to our party?

[Plenty I hope.]

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Look out, DUmmies! Peeved Pyro Pitt gonna burn your house down!

It must have been a rough night at Bukowski's the other night. Maybe Kevin Spacey wouldn't give him an autograph. Maybe Ty the Bouncer had to help him off the floor. Whatever the reason, William "Cry me a" Rivers Pitt was in his cups and in a foul mood. At times like that, Bottomless Pitt is wont to get on the internets and vent his spleen. When he does, Pie-eyed Griper Pitt is likely to take it out on his fellow DUmmies. And that, my friends, is one of Wee Willie's TWO entertaining and DUFUable personae.

You see, to paraphrase John Edwards, there are Two Pitts. One is the Pitt we first came to know and laugh at: Pied Piper Pitt (ca. 2004-06), the pompous, long-winded, leader of the pack of DUmmies, the "journalist" and self-imagined "player." But then, in a span of 24 business hours sometime in May of 2006 (aka Fitzmas), the other side, the dark side of Pitt, began to take over. I'll call this one, Peeved Sniper Pitt (ca. 2006-present). This is the guy who gets mad when he is mocked or questioned by mere ordinary DUmmies. This is the guy who insults his former followers, burns his bridges, storms off DUmmieland in a huff, but then, like a moth to the flame, comes back recanting a couple weeks later, because he needs an audience. Swinging wildly from Pied Piper Pitt to Peeved Sniper Pitt, it's a Pitt and the Pendulum thing.

Well, this latest rant is a DUzy. In fact, for this one I'm going to call him Peeved PYRO Pitt, and you will see why. Our Boy is in his profane, pugilistic persona, and there are 450 replies to follow! SOMEBODY shook up the ants! The
THREAD is titled, with typical Pittian restraint, "OK, that's it. That's JUST ABOUT F***ING ENOUGH, thank you."

Oh, one more thing: Will picks as the target of his outrage what only a COUPLE of DUmmies have said, so the effect is that the majority of posters on this thread cheer Willie on and shower him with praise, which is no doubt the effect he desired. Some, though, find his rantics off-Pitting.

So now imagine we're sitting in a booth at Bukowski's overhearing Pitt and the DUmmies yap away, in Bolshevik (or Killian's?) Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent and resident Pittologist, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Journalist Pitt can land a gig with Jason Leopold's new, is in the [brackets]:

OK, that's it. That's JUST ABOUT F***ING ENOUGH, thank you.

[ATTENTION, everyone! Peeved Sniper Pitt is in the house!]

"I swear it is my great hope tha McCain wins the election." Your great hope? Really?

[Pitt is ready to lay into a DUmmie who was not impressed with either Hillary or Obama. Of course, the REAL purpose is to show that no one is, or has a right to be, more righteously indignant than William Rivers Pitt. Pitt Rule #1: It's ALWAYS all about Will.]

If so, you need to get out of the house you can find some nice highway traffic to play in, you wretched pathetic pallid pale weak watery sh*tass excuse for an American.

[Pathetic Pallid Pale Pitt brings the hammer down!]

Second time in 48 hours I've seen this exact sentiment posted ON DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND.

[Das ist verboten! Vote for Democratics only! Party Hack Pitt has spoken!]

I don't give one wet slippery sh*t who you support for the nomination.

[The Logorrheal One does not care if you prefer Ol' Crusty or B.O. Plenty.]

I don't care if you vote in the general come November, either. If you're so catastrophically f*cked in the head that you don't know the difference between the Devil and the deep blue sea come November, represent 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000002% of the left-leaning electorate, so we can pretty much survive your masturbatory self-righteous abstinence. . . .

[Deep Blue Pitt does not care if you sit out in November.]

I don't care.

[He does not care.]

But. I. Swear. To. God.

[I. Am. So. Sick. Of. This. Tired. Period. Thingie.]

If I see another poster in this godforsaken testical-kick of a forum say they hope the GOP wins the White House in November, I will personally burn your f*cking house down, drive your car into the nearest available bridge strut, ruin your credit, deflower your chicadee, manhandle your couch cushions after eating lye with my bare hands, and make you watch while I sit down in the charred wasteland of your former livingroom and punch myself in the face over and over and over and over and over again, until the chicadee throws in the towel or until you pee your pants and promise never to do it again.

[Look out, DUmmies! Peeved Pyro Pitt gonna burn your house down! And deflower your chickadee! It's been a while since Pedagogue Pitt has deflowered a chickadee. Actually, the part I want to see is where Pugilist Pitt punches himself in the face over and over and over and over and over again.]

The Supreme Court matters, assbag. Choice matters.

[Gasbag Pitt reminds everyone of what is at stake, what is indeed the Most Sacred Value of the Democrat Party: Big Abortion MUST be preserved at all costs! We MUST protect a woman's right to get rid of An Inconvenient Youth!]

Lather rinse repeat.

[Blather, rant, re-Pitt.]

Gonna be a lot of smoke and sore-ass birds if this stupid idiotic self-destructive garbage comes up again on my watch.

[Wee Willie Threat Level: Orange. Now for the reaction in DUmmieland. . . .]

THe voice of reason!

[The voice of Riesling!]

Will, you're like a grownup among kindergartners.

[Junior High to High is more Will's speed.]

William! Take a deep breath and GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!!!!!!

[Mother Pitt, aka DUmmie Raven, sends Wee Willie to his room, as she fetches the Lifebuoy.]

Willy is fired up!

[Willy is used to getting fired.]

How ever much you actually do post around here, Will... It's not enough. It's not nearly enough. Please post more. Thank you.

[Ah, the post worked! Praise for Pitt!]

Not that you're wrong, but the style is the greatest blow to your credibility since Fitzmas.

[Oh, oh! Someone said the "F" word! Pitt will not like this. . . .]

I'm Biblically knowing your chicadee at this exact moment.

[Willie gives him the bird. So to speak.]

Tell me again about the indictments, Lenny -- I mean Pitty. . . .

[Of Mice and Fitzmas.]

The only thing I've noticed in some of your posts that you've seemed to put a hurtin' on - is a bottle of liquor!

[A-hurtin' we will go, a-hurtin' we will go. . . .]

Burn their houses down! I would have thought that people uttering such a thing would be TSed.

[Pitt has a special "Get Out of Tombstoning" pass from the TSA.]

there are many places, such as Massachusetts, Illinois, and Kansas, where a DU can write in the name of The Pied Piper and it would not make a TANJ bit of difference. . . .

["The Pied Piper"?! Somebody's been reading the DUmmie FUnnies!]

After all this *is* the DEMOCRATIC Underground. Not the "Feckless, Braindead, Lunatic, Repubican-loving Underground"

[D*mn straight! This is the Feckless, Braindead, Lunatic, DEMOCRATIC Underground!]

WORD. That is all.

[WILL. That is all.]

You know where I live?

[Mom's basement?]

I support anyone's right to rant, but I still think your ego and need for being the center of attention, are very unflattering. "On YOUR watch"..... As my mother used to say, "who died and left you boss?"

[He is the Great and Powerful Pitt!]

Don't envy Will for his popularity. Envy his sophisticated ale palette!

[Beerness envy?]

Rant of the Year?

[Rant of the Beer?]

Threatening to burn their houses down? It seems like this thread should be locked AND deleted.

[OK, now wait for the comeback. . . .]

It will be..... in 24 business hours.


William Pitt - my hero of the day *sigh*

[The sought-after effect.]

I'm getting tired of your constant self-promotion and chest-beating on this board. . . .

[Correction: This time Will offered to beat his FACE.]

"deflower your chicadee" ???? ok, burn the guy's house to the ground if you must but i see no reason for avian abuse.


please video the chickadee bit. Inquiring minds want to know.

[benburch checks in.]

Holy sh*t, can someone please get WP some Tylenol?

[Tylenol the Bouncer.]

I do not believe this. What maniacs recommended this insane screed?

[Your fellow DUmmies.]

I know very well who the OP is. Which is why I'm not a member of his fawning fan club.

[The Will Pitt Fawning Fan Club is trying to get its membership back up, but this DUmmie ain't joinin'.]

Pitt, when you're on a bender like this I'd put nothing past you. I'm surprised you haven't started in with "sh*tdogs, f*ckwits and cretins" yet. Or have you forgotten about that?

[That was EARLY Peeved Sniper Pitt.]

When can we expect your "backstory" and apology of sorts?

[Cue "Self-Recanted Evening."]

Are you off your meds? Or drunk?

[He's William Pitt the Drunker.]

Hey, I post stupid shit when I'm drunk too, but d*mn. I think it's time to find a meeting.

[The only meeting Will wants to find is the Will Pitt Fawning Fan Club.]

Ahhh...the warm zephyrs of a Will Pitt Rant... Wafting over this forum.

[Like the breeze coming in off a landfill. . . .]



I'd say about three sentences into your "discussion" you stopped posting and started performing.

[I'd say first sentence.]

if there's anything more laughable than the bad writing it's the part about physical violence. If you've ever seen the guy behind those words, you know how funny it is.

[Are you implying Wee Willie could not back it up?! Have you SEEN him with a black cowboy hat on?!]

That was smoking hot stuff Will!! I think I love you.

[DUmmie shaniqua6392 loves it when Will talks tough.]

Sounds like you got your angry back.

[Last year Will had famously lost his Angry.]

William Rivers Pitt: an Oscar Wilde for this modern-day America!!!

[Will's Gone Wilde!]

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

DUmmie "Republican" Claims Conversion To Obama Cult

(UPDATE: You can read the DUmmie "Republican's" ad selling the Obama stuff at CRAIGSLIST.)

I really enjoy reading "conversion" stories that come out of DUmmieland with some regularity. The conversion often involves a friend or relative of a DUmmie who is a "lifelong Republican" (a tell right there that the story is fake) who eventually sees the light and breaks through his ignorance to support the Democrats thanx to the wise guidance of the DUmmie recounting the story. More rare is when someone in DUmmieland claims to be a Republican and announces that he is supporting a Democrat candidate. Such was the case with DUmmie deadlyaj who claims to be a Marine veteran Republican who now supports Barack Obama as you can see in his THREAD titled, "I am a Republican and voting for Obama on March 4th and in November." One big tell here that this DUmmie may not be a Marine veteran is his screen name, "deadlyaj." Deadly. That sounds like a DUmmie stereotype of how a veteran would think of himself. Downthread is a HUGE tell. After gaining the sympathy of all the DUmmies praising him for "seeing the light," he then tries to sell them a whole bunch of Obama campaign paraphenalia. In between there are a lot of other tells that this "conversion" is somehow lacking in the authenticity department. So let us now watch the DUmmies fall all over themselves congratulating "Republican" deadlyaj over to the side of the Bright Shining Truth in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking forward to Charles Henrickson's DUFU of Pied Piper Pitt later today as the Pittster tries again to grab the limelight, is in the [brackets]:

I am a Republican and voting for Obama on March 4th and in November

[If you say so, it MUST be true. I BEEEELEEEEEEEVE!!!]

I am a 28 year old white male in Texas.

[Hmmm. Possible tell here with that racial self-identification.]

I am a Marine who spent 2 tours in Iraq - in 2004 and 2006

[The "deadly" in "deadlyaj." But this sounds more like a DUmmie stereotype of a vet's screen name.]

I am a Republican.

[Underlined for emphasis in the original post.]

I am a Republican and voting for Obama on March 4th and in November

[Yeah, yeah. We heard you were a Republican. Could you emphasize that again in case we didn't get it the first time?]

When I was deciding which candidate is the best to lead our nation, I came to only one person Barack Obama.

[HALLELUJAH! I have seeeeeen the light and now worship the one true Obamassiah!]

The problems we face in this country grow and fester and will just be passed on to our younger generations if we dont do something soon.

[Like conveniently voting for a Democrat.]

I am strict futurist and Obama will move us forward.

[Strict futurist? What does that even mean? Tell warning bells are sounding. Perhaps the DUmmie couldn't write "conservative" as a phony self-description and could only manage a meaningless "strict futurist" whatever the hell that means. Mark this down as a definite tell.]

the republican party is full of a bunch of jokers right now. Sure, Obama is very liberal on a lot of issues, but he's got to be more conservative than the bozos who were in charge of congress since '94 (and who then lost it) on several different issues.

[Another tell. This "Republican" doesn't even like the (real) Republicans in Congress since way back in '94.]

The most obvious is how the republicans have squandered all of our money. Say what you want about Bill Clinton, but at least he did what the republicans never seem to be able to do-- get a balanced budget. It's hard to believe that Obama will be as dumb as the republicans have been with our nation's money.

[Praising Bill Clinton. Another tell. ...Let us now watch the DUmmies fall all over themselves welcoming this "Republican" to the fold as deadlyaj inadvertently reveals yet more tells.]

Welcome! I hope there are a lot of you folks out there!

[Yes. There are many "Republicans" out there all lined up to conveniently see the light.]

I have over 110 marines voting for Obama on March 4th

[Another big tell here from deadlyaj. Yeah, he just happens to have over 110 (100 was too round of a number to use) Marines in his pocket ready to vote for Obama. This must be an incredibly gregarious fellow. I mean he wouldn't make this up, would he?]

THANK YOU OP - for your service! And... We all have enormous respect for what you did for your country in Iraq.

[Even a cursory glance at DUmmieland shows this DUmmie to be a liar. Enormous respect for what the vets did for their country in Iraq? Has anybody EVER seen such a sentiment posted in DUmmieland?]

I guess some people don't realize Republicans are people too...

[Are "Republicans" people too?]

Who are you voting for downticket?

[Demanded a DUmmie of the "Republican."]

I will vote against anyone who is for the war. Period.

[Even though it is winding down thanx to the Surge. I place this reply in the tell category.]

The politicians need to listen to you. But people like Rush Limbaugh call any soldier who comes out against the war "phony soldiers." They only support the troops if the troops toe the party line.

[How about "phony Republicans?"]

I think it is just people interested in what he thinks. Considering we don't have a lot of Republicans who post here who legitimately want to contribute (as opposed to freepers), it is interesting to know his point of view.

[Yes, always interesting to find out what "Republicans" supposedly think. Oh, and I would love to hear more about "strict futurism," a concept I never heard of before.]

The military community likes Obama over all the other candidates. Unless they are die hard life republicans -- armed forces types respect Obama very much. He has been on the veterans committee and even visited with me for over an hour in Walter Reed when I was in recovery.

[A huge tell here from "Republican" deadlyaj. What are you a pollster who questioned the "military community?" The use of the term "die hard life republicans" is another big tell that ranks right up there with "lifelong Republican." Yeah, the military community likes Obama over all the other candidates. Riiiiiiight!]

The only note I would add to your comment about the republicans in Congress is that they are not conservative, they are not liberal, and they are corrupt.

[Are they strict futurists?]

Many of our members are lifelong Republicans who recognize that their party has been hijacked by insane radicals and that the current Dem Party is actually more conservative in many ways than Nixon's Republican Party. I am a very progressive liberal, a John Edwards supporter, and I wish the Dems were more liberal than they are. But no matter how you slice it, they are certainly better than the crazy people running the Republican Partyy these days!

[Whenever you hear the term "lifelong Republicans" it is the sure sign of a fake.]

I voted for him in 2000 - but I didnt even vote in 2004 - was to busy being shot at and having explosives go off around me while you were stuffing your face and shopping at the mall.

["Stuffing your face and shopping at the mall." Using DUmmie type descriptions here. Another tell from the "Republican."]

I didn't hear him say he USED to be a "Republican"....he said "He is a Republican"....this board... is for DEMOCRATS And PROGRESSIVES.....get it?

[But he is a "Republican." Wink! Wink! Get it?]

I really don't want to see Republicans posting on here openly.

[No problem. He's a "Republican." Get it?]

A serious question. Is Obama the first Democrat you have supported? If so, why have you chosen Republicans over Democrats in the past?

[Asked the DUmmie of the "Republican."]

I am socially in the middle. Fiscally very conservative. Yes. First Dem Ive ever supported.

[A convervative of the strict futurist variety.]

I am glad you have come over, but why did you support Republicans over Democrats in the past? What made you go from voting for Bush in '04 to supporting Obama in '08? I think that your answer would be very useful for Obama and the Democratic Party.

[Yes. "Republican" input would be very useful.]

I couldnt really vote till 98 -- I come from a long line of proud republicans. My family, like most in TX is die hard republican. I voted for Bush in 2000, but not in 2004 (didnt vote) There are a slew of reasons I support Obama. The #1 is the fact he was against the war from the start

[Another tell. I never hear real Republicans describe themselves as "die hard Republicans." Strong conservatives maybe but NEVER as "die hard Republican." That is the way the LEFT describes Republicans.]

As long as you are supporting a Democratic candidate, we're happy to have you here. But it's good you were a Marine, too, because you'll need your leather.

[Is that you, Ben Burch?]

He didn't become a Democrat. He's still a Republican. He's just voting for Obama.

[He's still a "Republican."]

Then take it up with the Admins -- it's their site and their rules. WTF does this have to do with seating delegates? NOTHING. This site, as per the OWNERS' RULES AND, is only for DEmocrats and other progressives. There are plentry of bipartisan and non-partisan sites out there. DU isn't one of them.

[Skinner approves of "Republicans" posting in DUmmieland. Especially self-described "die hard Republicans."]

Just reported on CNN - 43% college students don't know what Orwell's"1984" was about

[And neither do 100% of the DUmmies. What do you think "Ingsoc" stood for? English SOCIALISM.]

Obama Rally Items - Dallas Fort Worth. I have a ton of Obama Rally Items! He is coming to Fort Worth this Thursday evening. (6pm at the Ft Worth Convention Center) All this gear is very rare. Rally Signs, Lapel Pins, T-Shirts, badges and stickers! They're all Pro made stuff and its cheap - there is an 8 week wait on all Obama rally items from his website. I would like to get rid of this stuff to people and at least make my money back on costs. just email me at and we can setup a time to meet up. This is for DALLAS FORT WORTH only -- I will not ship

[CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! A huge tell of the Bev Harris variety is ringing in my ears. In fact this "Republican" made this exact same post TWICE so it would be noticed.]

WHOA WITH THE MARKETING THERE! You need to get Administrator permission to sell that stuff here or it needs to be over in "DU Marketplace."

[You're just $10 away from getting an original Obama bumper sticker.]

Every vote counts and our country cannot afford to have another Republican as President.

[Can you afford an Obama campaign button? Remember, no shipping. ...Well, Dear Readers, I have presented the tells for your perusal. Is deadlyaj a Republican or a strict futurist die hard "Republican?" You be the judge.]

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

"Ralph Nader Makes Me Mad"

While reading this Daily KOs KOmmie THREAD titled, "Ralph Nader Makes Me Mad," I kept hearing the Max Cady LAUGH echoing in my head. KOmmie anger and frustration that Ralph Nader might once again act as a spoiler and steal the election away from the Democrats just makes me laugh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I just knew the leftwing types would have this attitude the instant I heard on Sunday that Ralph was running this year. This makes me hope the election will be close just so the Democrats will go BERSERK blaming Nader for their loss again. Oh, and if Hillary loses the nomination, you can expect her crew to be giving lots of help to Ralph on the sly. So let us now watch the KOmmies vent their frustration over Ralph Nader's candidacy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, suddenly feeling the urge to drive a vintage Corvair, is in the [brackets]:

Ralph Nader Makes Me Mad

[Which is why Ralph Nader makes me HAPPY! AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!]

There are very few people in the political scene who upset me when I hear them being mentioned, Ralph Nader is one such person (Monica Lewinsky is another but that a whole other diary topic). Now I don't dislike all that Mr. Nader has done, his work on consumer safety should be admired, as it was beneficial for the country. But lately Mr. Nader has become a huge egomaniac who wants to do what will make him happy and not what will benefit the country.


Now the first issue I have with Mr. Nader is the 2000 election, which I believe he was a spoiler for. Gore "lost" Florida by 537 votes. Mr. Nader collected about 97,000 votes. Now I am sure that not everybody who voted for him would have voted for Vice-President Gore but I am willing to bet that al least 538 were and probably more. Now you can say that the Supreme Court handed the Presidency to Bush but if not for Nader it looks like the Supreme Court is not a factor. A lot of my friends told me not to be angry with Nader after 2000, that there was no difference between Bush and Gore. Today these friends are apologizing saying how wrong they were.

[I agree with you. Without Ralph Nader in the race, Algore would have definitely won Florida...and the election. AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!]

Mr. Nader claims that he is running for the "people" but lets not forget he didn't even get 3% of the vote in 2000. It could be a very close election this time around and I hope Mr. Nader won't be a spoiler this time around.

[Which is why I hope the election is close so you can be incredibly frustrated by Nader's role again as a spoiler. AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!]

I should point out something else, to me the lesser of two evils arguments is BS. I see a clear difference between the Democrats and Republicans and am happy with a two party system. I think with a multiparty system you see less stability and more narrowness. Having two major parties forces the parties to be broad in their ideas, which I like. If you favor a multiparty system that's your call but just know I don't share that view. So I hope Mr. Nader rethinks his decision. Yes he has a right to run but just because you have a right to do something doesn't mean you should.

[AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! ...And now to laugh at the other frustrated Kommies...]

He pisses me off too


Ralph Nader Makes Me Laugh

[Me too. Let's laugh together. AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!]

Only the Republican-dominated talking heads of the MSM give a damned about Ralph Nader anymore. He's running on fumes more noxious than those that emanated from the Corvairs that he unceremoniously took off the strees when I was of an age in single digits. He's nothing but the new Harold Stassen for the 21st Century. F*ck him.


Its all his fault. All of this sh*t we've had to deal with for the past 7 years. If not for the a*hole's vanity we'd be celebrating the end of yet another successful term for President Gore.


Nader is a delusional, narcissitic idiot with precious little conception of the consequences of what he's done, as covered in the FP entry on him today.


Bush, Cheney, and Nader all share equal responsibility for the friggin mess that this country is in right now. And without Nader, there would be no Bush and Cheney.


I'd rather be shot in the face by Dick Cheney than stabbed in the back by Ralph Nadir.

[I think you will reach your Nadir this November when Ralph once again stabs you in the back. AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!]

Ralph has become a pathetic little man who harbors an exceptionally large ego and who doesn't give a rat's ass about this country. He kind of reminds of a certain illegitimate occupant of the Oval Office whom he helped install in 2000, along with the Reichscourt.

[Not Reichscourt. The correct term is Volksgerichtshof. AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!]

Monday, February 25, 2008

KOmmie asks about Obama: "American Messiah?"

PJ posted my latest Obama parody yesterday. Today I want to show you that the satire is not too far from reality. Witness this KOmmieland THREAD: "American Messiah?" KOmmie keenekarl (KKK?) has more than a Chris Matthews-like man-crush on Obama. It's an ALMOST FANATICAL DEVOTION to the Pope of Hope. KOmmie keenekarl even kreeps out some of his fellow KOmmies--or at least they want him to scale it back, lest such unbridled Obamamania leads to a Baracklash.

But before we get to the reading from keenekarl's Epistle to the KOmmies, let us join in singing our opening hymn:

HELLO DADDY, HELLO MAMA (A Letter from Camp Obama)
"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp)" Original

Hello Daddy
Hello Mama
Here I am at
Camp Obama
Camp's as pretty
As a painting
And they say we'll have some fun if we stop fainting

Our Barack has
Gifts of healing
Stevie Wonder's
Out four-wheeling
I met Oprah
Over dinner
Since she's been here she's got thirteen inches thinner

All the campers
Drink the Kool-Aid
That the counselors
At the school made
This is change we
Can believe in
'Cause the campers who come in here won't be leavin'

Now I just thought
I should buy ya
A small bust of
Our Messiah
You can put it
On your dashboard
It will guide and guard your car so it won't crash more

Yes we can!
Oh Daddy, Mama!
Yes we can!
I love Obama!
Don't tell me
I ought to find out facts
Of how
He plans to spend and tax

Yes we can!
I promise he will
Heal the holes
That cause the problems
In our souls
Oh please don't make me say
Just how--
He'll find a way

Got to stop now
Looks like we're through
Camp Obama
Has a curfew
Every day it's
Early rising
After "Washing of the Brains" it's "Plagiarizing"

Wait a minute
What's this gabbin'
Two new campers
In our cabin
See their nametags
Read the printin'
Seems the campers' names are Bill and Chelsea Clinton!

Our service now continues with the Epistle reading and the responses, in rubricesque Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who appreciates religious devotion when it's directed to the proper object--oh, let's say, God--is in the [brackets]:

American Messiah?

[WORLD Messiah!]

Now, the Bible words I will refer to talk about the Christian Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth.

[Forget him! Tell us about OUR Messiah!]

"They were all impressed with him (Jesus), and marvelled at the eloquent words he spoke." (Luke 4:22)

[Our new Messiah is . . . The Eloquent Man!]

"You are the most handsome of men; you are an eloquent speaker. God has surely blessed you." (Psalm 45:2)

[*sigh* *swoon* Are you feeling a thrill run up your leg, keenekarl?]

As I considered those words, I was reminded of another young man, in our time. . . .

[Who, keenekarl? Tell us who!]

this man has been inspiring large crowds of people everywhere he goes!

[Who is this man?!]

this man has attracted the disdain and jealousy of those in power. . . . This man raises their ire. . . . This man dares to attack their self-serving actions and motivations, and so they despise him and attempt to denigrate him with cheap, twisted, and false accusations!

[No, no! Not to THIS man! How DARE they denigrate him!]

But this man presses on, undaunted. . . .

[Undaunted! Hallelujah!]

This man is on the side of fairness, justice, and truth. . . .

[Who, disguised as a mild-mannered senator with a great metrosexual style. . . .]

this man has already inspired many, many hearts and minds. . . .

[But who is he, keenekarl?! Tell us his name!]

it has been over 2000 years since Jesus of Nazareth walked this earth. . . .

[OK, so it's not him. . . .]

And now, in this time and in this day, we have Barack Obama!

[Yes! Hallelujah! Hosanna to Obama!]

It appears Barack Obama has begun a movement. . . .

[A religion, even.]

I do not think I am alone in sensing that we are indeed writing a new page in America's history - and in the history of the world. Yes, the world!

[Yes, the world! It's a new age! Change the calendars, it's 1 A.B.!]

Obama speaks of seeking peaceful solutions!

[He's for peace! Isn't it wonderful?!]

We all need to feel better about ourselves and our neighbors!

[Feel better! Yes!]

if this nation follows his lead by joining in his cause, he could truly be the next American messiah. The eyes of many are upon us - how will we answer history's call?

[We're not worthy! But let us gratefully follow where Obamassiah leads! Thank you for your message, keenekarl. Now let's hear from our other brethren and sistern. . . .]

We got a new cat. Showed up this Winter in our garage. Young cat.

[I think KOmmie Fishgrease leads off with this random comment in a vain attempt to divert attention away from keenekarl's embarrassing Obamamania.]

We got a cat and named him Carlos. . . . Our nine year old husky . . . and Carlos chase each other around the yard, even in the deep snow. It's really beautiful to see.

[Yes, and it's all because of Obamassiah! "The husky and the cat shall play together. . . ."]

you never know, this cat could be the American messiah. It would be just like God to mess with us by sending us a messiah who is a cat.

[What about a Messiah who is a Rat?]

I think I'm gonna puke.

[keenekarl's adulation is too much even for this KOmmie.]

can we lose the "American Messiah" title? - its more than a bit offputting and reinforces the Obamacult meme. . . .

[Attention KOmmies, HUffies, and DUmmies: This "meme" meme is getting a little old. Whoever's thinking of using the word "meme," make like a mime or I'll maim you!]

Not again. This is so wrong.

[If loving Obamassiah is wrong, keenekarl doesn't want to be right.]

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Stop it.

[Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Please keep it up.]

I thought Oprah was the American Messiah. Can you have two?

[Oprah is the Co-Redemptrix.]

Hyperbole. It's the greatest thing ever.

[If I told you once, I told you a million times: Don't exaggerate! I think people who exaggerate should be taken out and shot!]

Obama is a well spoken black man with three years in the US senate. Period.

[No, he's also clean. . . . Well, having been boxed about the ears by his fellow KOmmies, keenekarl had to issue an update. . . .]

I probably would have been better off using a title like, "Great American Leader", leaving out any references to "messiah" or Jesus. . . .

[Don't let those unbelievers get to you, keenekarl!]

The fact is, when I wrote this, I wasn't thinking about Christianity's claims about Jesus' divinity and miraculous powers. This diary in no way was meant to imply that Barack Obama has, or is capable of, any of those characteristics.

[No, I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!! My cat got better by looking at a photo of Obamassiah!]

I know that Barack Obama is a mere human being, sharing many of the same weakness that you and I share!

[No, no! He is better than we mere mortals!]

Regardless of the mockery and attacks that have come, and will likely follow, I am not ashamed to say that I am guilty of messianism when it comes to Barack Obama. . . .

[Amen and amen! Keep the faith, keenekarl!]

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Hello Daddy, Hello Mama (A Letter from Camp Obama)

And yet ANOTHER terrific song parody from our own Charles Henrickson. Attention radio programmers! This parody song IS available for airplay with appropriate REMUNERATION to Charles. You WON'T find better political parody song lyrics than his.

HELLO DADDY, HELLO MAMA (A Letter from Camp Obama)

Tune: "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp)"Original

Hello Daddy
Hello Mama
Here I am at
Camp Obama
Camp's as pretty
As a painting
And they say we'll have some fun if we stop fainting

Our Barack has
Gifts of healing
Stevie Wonder's
Out four-wheeling
I met Oprah
Over dinner
Since she's been here she's got thirteen inches thinner

All the campers
Drink the Kool-Aid
That the counselors
At the school made
This is change we
Can believe in
'Cause the campers who come in here won't be leavin'

Now I just thought
I should buy ya
A small bust of
Our Messiah
You can put it
On your dashboard
It will guide and guard your car so it won't crash more

Yes we can!
Oh Daddy, Mama!
Yes we can!
I love Obama!
Don't tell me
I ought to find out facts
Of how
He plans to spend and tax

Yes we can!
I promise he will
Heal the holes
That cause the problems
In our souls
Oh please don't make me say
Just how--
He'll find a way

Got to stop now
Looks like we're through
Camp Obama
Has a curfew
Every day it's
Early rising
After "Washing of the Brains" it's "Plagiarizing"

Wait a minute
What's this gabbin'
Two new campers
In our cabin
See their nametags
Read the printin'
Seems the campers' names are Bill and Chelsea Clinton!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Hilarious Hillary Implosion Video!!!

When I posted the earlier DUFU edition today, Hillary's Inner Tracy Flick, little did I realize that just a few hours later, Hillary would let loose with her inner Tracy Flick in such a spectacular manner. This VIDEO is a MUST SEE. All that anger that Hillary kept under control during the last debate has come roaring to the surface. It really isn't about Obama's mailers. What this is about is the fact that Hillary Clinton thinks that the Obamassiah is stealing away the presidency from her. Yes, Hillary has worked all her adult life for just one goal. To become president. And now she is absolutely enraged that Obama is standing in her way. I am hoping for more comedic entertainment from Hillary in the form of hilarious implosions. I'm counting on you, Tracy, uh, I mean, Hillary!

Hillary's Inner Tracy Flick

I just saw the movie Election for the first time on cable about a week ago. The thought that immediately came to mind while watching the obsessed machinations of the lead character, Tracy Flick, was the similarity to Hillary Clinton in her campaign. Just out of curiosity I did a search on YouTube for Hillary and Tracy Flick and apparently I wasn't the only one who had this thought. Check out this VIDEO. It's hilarious!

BTW, didn't most of us know of a Tracy Flick in high school? In my case we had a male version of Tracy Flick (Mr. Flick) running for student body president in high school. I should have had the heads up that "Mr. Flick" was running for president when, a year before the election, he came over to our lunch table to shmooze even though we didn't know who the hell this guy was (he just transferred over to our school). Strangest conversation ever. No matter what we talked about, he always tried to steer it to the topic of better ways the school could be administered, a subject that didn't interest us at all. After we kept reverting the conversation back to hot looking cheerleaders, Mr. Flick left the table to go shmooze on the same unwanted topic at another table. Yeah, Mr. Flick kept up a friendly appearance up until the moment he lost the election the following year. After that he assumed a very cold demeanor. No more shmoozing at lunch tables.

So do any of you out there have any Tracy Flick stories of your own? If so, post them here.

Friday, February 22, 2008

NY Times "McCain Scandal" Fizzles Out In Leftwing Blogosphere

What qualifies one to be a publisher at the New York Times? Apparently living through birth...if your name is Sulzberger. Other than that, Pinch Sulzberger is totally unqualified to be the publisher of even a freebie rag you see on the stands outside of supermarkets. So is that my own vicious rightwing conclusion? No. Liberal Jay Rosen, who teaches journalism at New York University, also believes that Pinch Sulzberger has serious problems due to the New York Times "McCain Scandal" story as you can see in his HUffington POst BLOG titled, "For the New York Times, as Well, Self-Confidence on Ethics Poses Risks."

The big story today is that this so-called exposé has completely fizzled out even in the Leftwing blogosphere. I checked out DUmmieland and the KOmmieland this morning and there is almost NO mention of the Times story. Yes, they have posts blasting John McCain but for other reasons. How pathetic is a "news" story when even the hard core leftists feel it has no substance? Another reliable liberal who also blasted the New York Times was Mike Barnicle who just now appeared on MSNBC's Morning Joe. Yes, the chickens are coming home to roost for the New York Times. Already we one of the authors of the McCain hit piece, Marilyn W. Thompson, has been exposed as ethically challenged as you can see in this terrific NewsBusters STORY. Apparently Ms Thompson, while editor of the Lexington Herald-Leader in Kentucky, was taking money from a leftwing group to fund a hit piece on Senator Mitch McConnell. And this is the person that the Times chose as one of the reporters of the McCain hit piece.

Yes, a career will be severly affected by the Times story but it won't be McCain's. This could well be the scandal that forces the supremely unqualified Pinch Sulzerberger to finally exit stage Left. So let us now join Jay Rosen and the other HUffies as they rake the New York Times over the coals in outraged red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Bill Keller will be following Pinch out the exit door, is in the [brackets]:

For the New York Times, as Well, Self-Confidence on Ethics Poses Risks

[Job risks for Pinch Sulzberger and Bill Keller. Hee! Hee!]

A few riddles, questions and observations about the story that everyone--including John McCain--is talking about this morning: For McCain, Self-Confidence on Ethics Poses Its Own Risk in the New York Times...

[According to Mike Barnicle on Today's Morning Joe show, this story isn't even being discussed in liberal Boston. DUmmies and KOmmies are also mostly ignoring it.]

Lots of people will be asking why now? but my first question upon reading the story was different: why endorse? The New York Times endorsed McCain for the Republican nomination on Jan. 25, when it was clearly working on this story and had the basic facts in hand. The endorsement does not mention his image for rectitude, which today's story assaults, but still, it's an endorsement, an institutional seal of approval. If the facts in today's article were not enough to make the Times re-think its endorsement, then why were they good enough for the front page of the paper, eight years after the events in question?

[Simple. The Times built up the Republican candidate it wanted knowing they possibly had the goods to tear him down later.]

UPDATE: Two people who work for the New York Times wrote to me with the same complaint: why was I raising questions about the editorial page's endorsement of John McCain on Jan. 25 when I know--or should as a J-professor know--that the newsroom and the editorial page operate independently of each other and do not coordinate? My answer: there's one person who would have known about the paper's struggles with McCain and his lawyers over today's story, and who read and approved the paper's endorsements-- or should have. That is Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., the publisher. And so to ask, "How does the Times endorse McCain with a story like that looming, if it believes in the story?" is to ask, at a minimum, what Arthur thought he was doing. But it's more than that. Staffers who live the logic of their internal organization and its brilliant divides sometimes fail to see what the institution as a whole is saying. The Times endorsed a man it had reason to believe would face front page scrutiny like we saw today from the news section of the Times. It is not unreasonable to ask why. The two sides don't need to coordinate if both read Drudge.

[Pinch could claim that he doesn't think about what he is doing. Perhaps he will claim to be a completely clueless idiot. At least that pathetic excuse will have some credibility.]

Lots of people will be asking: did the Times have the goods, enough facts to even run this story? (National Review's Rich Lowry says no, and many others will be saying the same thing today.) I notice that the Washington Post essentially ran the same story today, minus the innuendo about an affair. It leads with the strongest fact to emerge from the Times account: that former McCain aide John Weaver had met with the women in question to ask her to stay away, a meeting--and an agenda--that Weaver confirmed to the Times and the Post. If there's any "hard" news in these accounts to support the appearance of ethical taint, that is it. But the Post left out the, "Convinced the relationship had become romantic, some of his top advisers intervened..." part, which makes the Times story far more explosive, and more of an event within the 08 campaign. Which makes me wonder why the Times didn't run a G-rated version scrupulously free of tabloid stuff.

[Because Pinch likes the lurid stuff even if there are no facts to back it up.]

According to the McCain camp, the "why now?" question is answered by the inquiries a reporter for The New Republic has made about infighting at the New York Times over this story. The New Republic says its story, by Gabriel Sherman, will be out later today. Sherman is a former reporter for the New York Observer who has shown he has sources inside the paper during two earlier episodes: the Judy Miller agonistes and James Risen's wiretapping story, where the "why now?" question was extremely important, since it involved the 2004 election. Therefore we will soon know a lot more about the struggles over this story, which must have been intense. (Read it yourself: Sherman's article is now up.)

[Why now? Well, the NY Times wanted to wait until after McCain was nominated to publish this non-story but exposure by the New Republic forced its hand.]

On the question of "the goods," when I read the story I expected... more. Any report alleging a damaging affair by a current presidential candidate needs to be air tight and locked down, especially when the events in it date from two election cycles ago. But for this purpose the Times has only anonymous sources; that makes me nervous. While any story like this says to readers, "trust us, we're the New York Times," this one puts the Times reputation more completely on the line because there is virtually nothing else for us to trust than the rectitude of the people running the paper. For, "Convinced the relationship had become romantic..." there is nothing we can check, no one we can ask, no digging we can do. That is why Pat Buchanan on MSNBC this morning was predicting a "war to the death between the New York Times and John McCain." But watch for Clark Hoyt's next ombudsman column. I would not be surprised at all if he comes out with a verdict esssentially saying: you didn't have it.

[To quote Gertrude Stein, "There's no there there." This could be said both about this Times story and Pinch Sulzberger's brain.]

For lovers of culture war--and I am not one--there is almost nothing better than a story like this. The cultural right will go with its ultra-simplified story line: the liberal media wants Barack Obama to win and this is how it manifests. In a contest of strength, I think the discomfort over McCain as a conservative and candidate is weaker on the right than the resentment at an institution like the New York Times, and the mobilizing power of "liberal media intervenes in the election on behalf of its guy" is too great to resist.

[The best part of this story is that it has a good chance to cause the downfall of Pinch Sulzberger and Bill Keller.]

Thus, the Politico's report: Asked about the impact that the allegation of adultery would have among social conservative activists, some of whom still aren't entirely sold on McCain, Black said they would see it as "the New York Times spreading rumors and gossip. We're going to war with the New York Times, so they'll probably like it."

[War on the New York Times is FUn to watch!]

For the New York Times, self-confidence on ethics poses its own risks, as well. From the looks of it, the paper is going to have to fight for its story--and its ethics--in the court of public opinion, but this is not something the Times is ever comfortable doing. It vastly prefers "the story speaks for itself." (Which Bill Keller just said in a statement.) I don't think that will be good enough in this case because the story speaks so thinly for itself, and because the paper has tried--without much success, I would add--to cut down on the use of anonymous sources, recognizing how much they put at risk. (From a 2004 internal report, "Can we otherwise squeeze more anonymous sources out of our pages? Can we make our attributions (even the anonymous ones) less murky? Are there some stories we can afford to skip if they are not attributable to people with names?")

[Jayson Blair can defend this story. And now to read the reactions from the other HUffies...]

I am an ARDENT Democrat. At first I thought John McCain's response was weak. This story now is beginning to remind me of the Dan Rather story, big on splash with spurious, enigmatic possibly problematic evidence. The biggest question for the Times regarding its explosive story on John McCain's possible romantic link to the telecommunications lobbyist surrounds the evidence. This is not just another article it is about the major Republican contender for the presidency and a contender who has staked his reputation on his ethical stances. NYT at first I thought would never write an article like that without having near 100% proof and accuracy with which it could back up what it states. However, now I think substance is missing from the NYT article. My question is DOES IT HAVE THE EVIDENCE I.E. MORE EVIDENCE than it has given in its article to support what it writes? This reader must be absolutely assured of the article's veracity on a huge issue such as this and if so this reader would like to know what it is. So far its mere hearsay without much support. Who has said what to whom and what hard evidence does the NYT have to back up the allegations? It's that simple. Where's the beef for such an important story!

[Even an ARDENT Democrat thinks this story is mostly bare bones and no beef.]

The "New York Times" has less authenticity than a suburban weekly. A parochial yet apparently useful dispenser of the party (of wealth) line. It has no pretense of persuasion of anything beyond what it's political/financial backers see fit. Only people who care what's in the "Times" care what's in the "Times". And that is some severe insulation. Even the crossword puzzles are weak.

[But they are still good on their food recipes. Oh, and this story is a recipe for disaster for poor Pinch.]

Why didn't they release the story in November-December when the Republican nomination was up for grabs? Why endorse McCain, and then do a hit piece after he gets the nomination? This really looks like the New York Times is manipulating the timing of news to change the outcome of elections.

[You don't say!]

As a former newspaper reporter, I can say with certainty they keep the editorial writers hidden away from the reporters, lest the reporters with their muddy shoes and battle fatigue attack the editorialists as they sit on their plush posteriors, eating free pizza and donuts.


Mit Romney shoud sue the New York Times for a dishonest endorsement which unfairly diminished his and other Republican candidates' campaigns still active in the race?

[The NY Times always endorses the Republican it thinks easiest to defeat.]

Aye, they are. The Old Gray Lady has become the Old Gray Mare. No wonder that the NYT has been reducing its workforce by thousands, and their circulation has diminished dramatically.

[Hopefully Pinch Sulzberger and Bill Keller will be among those thousands being laid off.]

The Times should be careful of Rovian traps.

[Ah yes! When all else fails, blame Karl Rove.]

Only way the NYTs can recover from this is if they have more evidence.

[That evidence will be delivered by the Great Pumpkin.]

Thursday, February 21, 2008

"I completely understand what Michelle Obama was saying"

"For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country." So said Michelle Obama the other day (although, who knows, she may have plagiarized it from somebody). "For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country." The implication, of course, is that Michelle was NOT proud of her country BEFORE. Most right-thinking Americans would take that as offensive. But not the DUmmies. They AGREE with Madame O that America has been a pretty shameful place. Oh, but don't question their patriotism! as they are wont to remind us.

That they agree with Michelle in their distaste for America is a given. The only thing some of the DUmmies criticize Michelle for is THAT SHE SAID IT. She's giving the wingnuts ammo, you see. She needs to learn to HIDE her anti-Americanism better.

There are a host of DUmmieland threads on this subject, e.g.:
I completely understand what Michelle Obama was saying; Ever since 2000, I have been ASHAMED of my country!; Michelle Obama Made A Huge Error In Saying What She Did; Thanks to Michelle, Obama's Campaign Got Bitten in the Ass; This is why they hate us. Really.; ". . .Proud of my country. . ." yeah sure. The comments below are taken from several of these. But before we get to the DUmmies' comments, I want to pay a little musical tribute to Michelle Obama:

Tune: "Michelle"

Michelle, dumbbell
You say words that call our country hell
Mad Michelle

Michelle, dumbbell
Now we know you're just traitorous scum
Traitorous scum

"I wasn't too proud of my country"
That's what you had to say
Why don't you go away
You can stay in lovely lands like France or Afghanistan

Michelle, dumbbell
Now we know you're just traitorous scum
Traitorous scum

I need to proceed to secede you
I need to make you leave
This place that makes you grieve
Until I do I'm hoping you will please shut your trap

I mean you . . .

I want ya to move to Botswana
Or maybe Mozambique
I'm sure it's very chic
And run don't walk, go get Barack and take him along

Michelle, dumbbell
Now we know you're just traitorous scum
Traitorous scum

And you can stay in lovely lands like France or Afghanistan
Mad Michelle . . .

Alright, now let's see the DUmmies' thoughts on this latest flap from Camp Obama, in Bolshevik Red, while the humble commentary of your guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, questioning the DUmmies' sanity as well as their patriotism, is in the [brackets]:

I completely understand what Michelle Obama was saying. . . .

[So do I. She was saying she was NOT proud of her country before this.]

Don't people realize how much we WANT to be proud of our country, how wonderful it would be for us, too, to get all misty-eyed and shivery at the sight of the flag or the sound of the National Anthem?

[Try Cuba. I know a Barack supporter in Houston who really likes their flag. And I hear they have a nifty anthem. "Worka's Paradise," or something like that.]

It's hard to feel proud of a country that I'm consistently told "isn't ready to elect a black president."

[I thought we already did: Bill. Besides, Barry is only half-black, so some people might be voting for him as a white man.]

So when I see Barack Obama win primary after primary after primary, I DO feel proud of the people. . . .

[Maybe they just don't like Hillary.]

that's the difference b/t not-ready-for-primetime Obamanation and any other seasoned political team. . . . it'll just be a RW talking point and smear opportunity. . . . She should've never said that. . . . More proof that the Dems are "america-haters". . . .

[Note: DUmmie is NOT criticizing Michelle's hatred of America, just that she was stupid enough TO SAY IT.]

And poor little hilary..all she does is cause distractions because that's all she has. Low class clintons are made of straw and red herrings who have become the political campaign of Hansel and Gretel who are rabidly searching the ground for crumbs. Good luck with your crumbs.

[Mmmm. . . . herring. . . .]

Sounds like RW Wacko talking points to me. Part of that fake patriotism BS. . . .

[Being proud of America = RW Wacko stuff. . . . Can we question your fake patriotism?]

i can't speak to the issue of being a black american because i'm not black. . . .

[And you're not all that American, either.]

if she's just now been proud of america well she's not trying very hard. . . .


Your attitude is EXACTLY the kind of narrow-minded, jingoistic, George W. Bush swaggering, flag lapel pin wearing, yellow ribbon magnet approach that makes Americans look ridiculous.

[Jingo lapels, jingo lapels, jingo all the way. . . .]

another white guy....who presumes to speak people....

[Who? Obama?]

America has been great for her
--Princeton University
--Harvard Law
--Wife of U.S. Senator
--Works as an executive
--Family made $2.6 million in two years
--Husband a pop culture icon and now the front runner for the Democratic nomination

[Michelle is being oppressed by THE MAN!]

If the Obamas want to run against patriotism then I say go for it!

[I detect a note of sarcasm from this DUmmie with the Hillary avatar.]

I loved that speech of Sharptons. I liked it better than Barack's speech.

[Don't worry, Barack will be using it next week.]

Michelle Obama was just keeping it real. . . .

[Real stupid.]

Screw America.

[NOW can we question your patriotism?]

I don't get misty-eyed at the flag or at the National Anthem. . . . No flag-waving crap for me. We are decidedly NOT the best country EVER or whatever it is these idiots say. I am not proud of this country. . . .

[OK, I'm afraid I'm going to HAVE to question your patriotism. . . .]

I'd leave in a heartbeat, given the right opportunity.

[How far are you from an international airport? I'll call a cab.]

Ever since 2000, I have been ASHAMED of my country!

[The feeling is mutual.]

You can parse Michelle Obama's words all you want, but I have to agree with her.

[That America STINKS!]

Go Michelle! Go Barack!

[Go away!]

Michelle Obama Made A Huge Error In Saying What She Did

[Keep your anti-Americanism UNDER WRAPS, Michelle! At least until after the election.]

Patrotism is the last refuge of &^%$#!!!!!!!

[Can we question your &^%$#!!!!!!! ?]

Like her husband, she's a little too full of herself.

[A bit uppity, I'd say.]

She almost singlehandedly offed Stevie Wonder, dragging him onstage. Fortunately, there were strong men around to pick him up. She moved to the middle of the stage with her thumbs up and a big smile (while they were still engaged removing him from the floor).

[Isn't she lovely. . . .]

It never ceases to amaze me how Democrats continue to make such idiotic mistakes.

[We here at DUmmie FUnnies are very grateful.]

ugh, these rovian games are confusing me. . . .

[Let the games begin!]

it was a gift on a silver platter to the GOP.

[Bring Me the Head of Barack Obama!]

telling the american people the truth is stupid?

[Speak truth to power!]

Perhaps you can forward the meme that she's a communist mole for Castro?

[That's Maria, not Michelle. You're getting your Obama "M" gals mixed up.]

I like her, but admit she's a bit of a loose cannon... remember when she informed us that Barack had "stinky feet"?

[Is that from the holes in his soles?]

First Lady Michelle Obama!!1111 President Barack Hussein Obama!!!!1111

[Kyrie eleison!]

Mrs. Obama suffers from bouts of diarrhea of the mouth.

[Si se mierda!]

F*ck Nationalism.

[New Obama campaign slogan! Change is good.]

So everyone pretends to be happy about everything American, and VIOLA! We win elections?

[String Theory.]

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Compilation Video Of Suspicious Fainting At Barack Obama Rallies

Check out this compilation VIDEO of women fainting at the Barack Obama rallies. Real or fake? You be the judge. Perhaps the first couple of faintings were real and the others were copycat faintings by women who wanted to get the attention of the their beloved Obamassiah. Or was this planned by the Obama campaign to demonstrate his hypnotic effect on liberals? Who knows? However, Obama is a piker in the fainting department compared to the Grand Master of Mass Fainting, Benny Hinn, as you can see in the VIDEO below. Until the Obamassiah can approach these levels of fainting attacks, I shall continue to worship my one true Benny. BTW, three years ago the Nigerians invited Benny Hinn to their country to perform a series of rallies. To make a long story short, Hinn became enraged when the Nigerians ripped him off to the tune of $4 million. Gee, Benny. Going to Nigeria with a big bankroll and not expecting to get ripped off is like jumping into water and being surprised when you get wet. In any case, enjoy Benny in action. Eat your heart out, Barack!

Jason Leopold Leaves TruthOut

It's a sad day. One of the great journalistic giants of our time, Jason Leopold, is splitting the scene. According to an e-mail from former fashion photographer and now TruthOut publisher, Marc Ash, as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, Jason Leopold has left his publication. In case you are unfamiliar with Leopold, he teamed up with TruthOut columnist William Rivers Pitt to promote the story about Karl Rove having already been indicted by Patrick Fitzgerald on May 12, 2006. The team of Leopold and Lib are still waiting for the magical 24 business hours to pass for their fantasy to be confirmed. Meanwhile Pied Piper Pitt remains in deep hiding so don't expect him to comment in any way about the sad departure of his journalistic mentor, Leopold. So let us now watch the DUmmies observe the departure of Jason Leopold in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Pitt is now laugably promoting Chris Dodd as Obama's running mate, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Jason Leopold No Longer Employed By Truthout

[No! NO! The world can't afford to lose this JOURNALISTIC GIANT!!!]

Source: Letter from Marc Ash Executive Director

[Marc Ash the former fashion photographer.]

To Our Readership and Friends,

[And Gullible DUmmie Suckers who swallowed our fantasies hook, line, and sinker...]

Jason Leopold is no longer employed by Truthout.

[Sniff! MSNBC's David Shuster just lost his most reliable news source.]

Jason is a truly gifted reporter, and his efforts on behalf of Truthout have been greatly appreciated.

[Jason is a truly gifted fiction writer.]

There may be some speculation that this announcement is connected in some way to Truthout's reporting of the Karl Rove indictment matter. It is not. At the time of our reporting on the Rove matter we stood by the factual accuracy of our reports, and we stand by them now.

[LOL! I can just picture fashion photographer Marc Ash and William Rivers Pitt huddling out in a field on cold nights, still waiting for their Great Pumpkin to arrive in just 24 business hours.]

We sincerely wish Jason the best of luck.

[Yeah, thanx Jason for thoroughly discrediting us and having TruthOut removed as a Google news source. Oh, and making William Rivers Pitt the laughingstock of the entire blogosphere was an extra special touch.]

Marc Ash, Executive Director - t r u t h o u t

[Thanx, Marc, and now to hear from the DUmmies. Unfortunately some of the really FUnnie posts about Pied Piper Pitt were removed overnight but what remains is still FUnnie...[

We'll know more in 24 business hours

[Via a sealed vs unsealed document.]

I got that same email just now. Maybe they couldn't afford him anymore?

[Free was too high of a price to pay for Leopold's services.]

I have a feeling that William Rivers Pitt may know more and will hopefully post

[Ever since Pitt posted his novel length partial birth non-apology in his endless pittiful pentinence THREAD, he has been in the Sgt. Schultz mode on the subjects of Fitzmas and Jason Leopold.]

He is still technically employed as his contract doesn't end for 24 more business hours.

[Is it a sealed or unsealed contract?]

I just got this...

[...From Jason Leopold. Stand by for the laughs...]

Dear Friends,

[...and Gullible Fools,]

I have decided to leave Truthout after three years in the trenches to start my own web-based, non-profit political magazine to be called . The website is currently in production and I hope to launch a beta version in mid-March with a full rollout in June.

[How about launching it on May 12?]

I have been committed to independent journalism for nearly a decade and will continue to report on the most pressing issues this country faces and will continue to face long after Bush is out of office.

[Will you continue to report after Karl Rove is indicted?]

In the meantime, I will continue to dig for the truth and will report sporadically on the issues while setting up my new venture. I greatly appreciate the support you all have given me over the years and hope you will all become readers of

[Don't forget to feed your scoops to William Rivers Pitt. He is good at unquestioningly proliferating myths.]

Stay tuned.

[To the Comedy Channel.]

Jason Leopold

[Also assistant editor, office boy, and janitor of]

He might want to actually register the domain name as part of his "preproduction" As of a couple of minutes ago it was still available for anyone who wanted to make a couple of bucks selling it back to Leopold.

[A great way there for Pied Piper Pitt to help pay his Bukowski's bar bill.]

I guess it'll be a site devoted to breaking news that doesn't happen.

[But will happen in just 24 business hours.]

I'm glad Truthout stands behind the fake accuracy of their Jason's fake report about Rove.

[All the Fake News that's Fit to Print.]

It is what it is, eh?

[Quoteth the DUmmie plagiarizing William Rivers Pitt. And speaking of Pitt, here is a bonus feature below demonstrating his incredible GULLIBILITY in his May 14, 2006 THREAD, "I just got off the phone with Jason Leopold" when he started noticing that the Karl Rove indicted still hadn't happen as promised...]

I just got off the phone with Jason Leopold who clarified something for me that is pretty damned important. In his article, he said:

["Look into my eyes... Your mind is growing weaker and weaker..."]

"During the course of that meeting, Fitzgerald served attorneys for former Deputy White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove with an indictment charging the embattled White House official with perjury and lying to investigators related to his role in the CIA leak case, and instructed one of the attorneys to tell Rove that he has 24 hours to get his affairs in order, high level sources with direct knowledge of the meeting said Saturday morning."

In point of fact, those 24 hours are "business hours," i.e. starting on Monday.

[And nearly two years later, those 24 business hours have yet to elapse.]

"Jeez, Jason," I said, "we might want to put that into the essay. Half the planet thought 24 hours was 24 hours. They thought the deal would go down today."

["Aw gee whillikers, Jason. That 24 business hours explains it all. Now we might have to wait another century for the Rove indictment."]

To be fair, a dozen eyes looked at that article yesterday before we published it, mine included, and none of us caught that. The word "business" has been inserted into the story after "hours" where it belongs:

[Meanwhile we are still waiting for a brain to be inserted into Pitt's skull.]

So. Monday at the very earliest, but more like Tuesday or Wednesday.

[Or 2007 or 2008 or...]

I'm going to go take a nap and then go get drunk with some friends tonight. Dan's brother Ken, the airline pilot and all-around wild-man, is in town for the weekend. Gonna be the Linwood Cafe, and their Mojo from the nitrogen tap, and then around again to our usual gathering spot.

[Better get VERY drunk, Pitt, to kill the pain of humiliating embarrassment that is about to happen.]

I'd repeat everything I've said about Jason's multiple independent sources, about how the MSMs failure to pick this up sounds more like more of the same old shit than anything ominous, about how no hard paper or announcements or anything will come until, at a minimum, the government re-opens for business on Monday...but I've written it all already.

[Monday is just 24 business hours away.]

The truth will out. It always does.

[It sure does, Will, and it bit you in the tush.]