Monday, February 25, 2008

KOmmie asks about Obama: "American Messiah?"

PJ posted my latest Obama parody yesterday. Today I want to show you that the satire is not too far from reality. Witness this KOmmieland THREAD: "American Messiah?" KOmmie keenekarl (KKK?) has more than a Chris Matthews-like man-crush on Obama. It's an ALMOST FANATICAL DEVOTION to the Pope of Hope. KOmmie keenekarl even kreeps out some of his fellow KOmmies--or at least they want him to scale it back, lest such unbridled Obamamania leads to a Baracklash.

But before we get to the reading from keenekarl's Epistle to the KOmmies, let us join in singing our opening hymn:

HELLO DADDY, HELLO MAMA (A Letter from Camp Obama)
"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp)" Original

Hello Daddy
Hello Mama
Here I am at
Camp Obama
Camp's as pretty
As a painting
And they say we'll have some fun if we stop fainting

Our Barack has
Gifts of healing
Stevie Wonder's
Out four-wheeling
I met Oprah
Over dinner
Since she's been here she's got thirteen inches thinner

All the campers
Drink the Kool-Aid
That the counselors
At the school made
This is change we
Can believe in
'Cause the campers who come in here won't be leavin'

Now I just thought
I should buy ya
A small bust of
Our Messiah
You can put it
On your dashboard
It will guide and guard your car so it won't crash more

Yes we can!
Oh Daddy, Mama!
Yes we can!
I love Obama!
Don't tell me
I ought to find out facts
Of how
He plans to spend and tax

Yes we can!
I promise he will
Heal the holes
That cause the problems
In our souls
Oh please don't make me say
Just how--
He'll find a way

Got to stop now
Looks like we're through
Camp Obama
Has a curfew
Every day it's
Early rising
After "Washing of the Brains" it's "Plagiarizing"

Wait a minute
What's this gabbin'
Two new campers
In our cabin
See their nametags
Read the printin'
Seems the campers' names are Bill and Chelsea Clinton!

Our service now continues with the Epistle reading and the responses, in rubricesque Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who appreciates religious devotion when it's directed to the proper object--oh, let's say, God--is in the [brackets]:

American Messiah?

[WORLD Messiah!]

Now, the Bible words I will refer to talk about the Christian Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth.

[Forget him! Tell us about OUR Messiah!]

"They were all impressed with him (Jesus), and marvelled at the eloquent words he spoke." (Luke 4:22)

[Our new Messiah is . . . The Eloquent Man!]

"You are the most handsome of men; you are an eloquent speaker. God has surely blessed you." (Psalm 45:2)

[*sigh* *swoon* Are you feeling a thrill run up your leg, keenekarl?]

As I considered those words, I was reminded of another young man, in our time. . . .

[Who, keenekarl? Tell us who!]

this man has been inspiring large crowds of people everywhere he goes!

[Who is this man?!]

this man has attracted the disdain and jealousy of those in power. . . . This man raises their ire. . . . This man dares to attack their self-serving actions and motivations, and so they despise him and attempt to denigrate him with cheap, twisted, and false accusations!

[No, no! Not to THIS man! How DARE they denigrate him!]

But this man presses on, undaunted. . . .

[Undaunted! Hallelujah!]

This man is on the side of fairness, justice, and truth. . . .

[Who, disguised as a mild-mannered senator with a great metrosexual style. . . .]

this man has already inspired many, many hearts and minds. . . .

[But who is he, keenekarl?! Tell us his name!]

it has been over 2000 years since Jesus of Nazareth walked this earth. . . .

[OK, so it's not him. . . .]

And now, in this time and in this day, we have Barack Obama!

[Yes! Hallelujah! Hosanna to Obama!]

It appears Barack Obama has begun a movement. . . .

[A religion, even.]

I do not think I am alone in sensing that we are indeed writing a new page in America's history - and in the history of the world. Yes, the world!

[Yes, the world! It's a new age! Change the calendars, it's 1 A.B.!]

Obama speaks of seeking peaceful solutions!

[He's for peace! Isn't it wonderful?!]

We all need to feel better about ourselves and our neighbors!

[Feel better! Yes!]

if this nation follows his lead by joining in his cause, he could truly be the next American messiah. The eyes of many are upon us - how will we answer history's call?

[We're not worthy! But let us gratefully follow where Obamassiah leads! Thank you for your message, keenekarl. Now let's hear from our other brethren and sistern. . . .]

We got a new cat. Showed up this Winter in our garage. Young cat.

[I think KOmmie Fishgrease leads off with this random comment in a vain attempt to divert attention away from keenekarl's embarrassing Obamamania.]

We got a cat and named him Carlos. . . . Our nine year old husky . . . and Carlos chase each other around the yard, even in the deep snow. It's really beautiful to see.

[Yes, and it's all because of Obamassiah! "The husky and the cat shall play together. . . ."]

you never know, this cat could be the American messiah. It would be just like God to mess with us by sending us a messiah who is a cat.

[What about a Messiah who is a Rat?]

I think I'm gonna puke.

[keenekarl's adulation is too much even for this KOmmie.]

can we lose the "American Messiah" title? - its more than a bit offputting and reinforces the Obamacult meme. . . .

[Attention KOmmies, HUffies, and DUmmies: This "meme" meme is getting a little old. Whoever's thinking of using the word "meme," make like a mime or I'll maim you!]

Not again. This is so wrong.

[If loving Obamassiah is wrong, keenekarl doesn't want to be right.]

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Stop it.

[Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Please keep it up.]

I thought Oprah was the American Messiah. Can you have two?

[Oprah is the Co-Redemptrix.]

Hyperbole. It's the greatest thing ever.

[If I told you once, I told you a million times: Don't exaggerate! I think people who exaggerate should be taken out and shot!]

Obama is a well spoken black man with three years in the US senate. Period.

[No, he's also clean. . . . Well, having been boxed about the ears by his fellow KOmmies, keenekarl had to issue an update. . . .]

I probably would have been better off using a title like, "Great American Leader", leaving out any references to "messiah" or Jesus. . . .

[Don't let those unbelievers get to you, keenekarl!]

The fact is, when I wrote this, I wasn't thinking about Christianity's claims about Jesus' divinity and miraculous powers. This diary in no way was meant to imply that Barack Obama has, or is capable of, any of those characteristics.

[No, I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!! My cat got better by looking at a photo of Obamassiah!]

I know that Barack Obama is a mere human being, sharing many of the same weakness that you and I share!

[No, no! He is better than we mere mortals!]

Regardless of the mockery and attacks that have come, and will likely follow, I am not ashamed to say that I am guilty of messianism when it comes to Barack Obama. . . .

[Amen and amen! Keep the faith, keenekarl!]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

keenekarl: ""They were all impressed with him (Jesus), and marvelled at the eloquent words he spoke." (Luke 4:22)"

I don't know what Bible keenekarl was quoting, but I can't find the phrase "eloquent words" in any of the various Bibles and translations for Luke 4:22. I do find descriptions of "gracious" words but I can't find "eloquent " anywhere.

The King James Bible:
"And all bare him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth. And they said, Is not this Joseph's son?"

Why did the DUmmie replace "gracious" (marked by kindness and courtesy as per Merriam-Webster) to "eloquent" (marked by forceful and fluent expression as per Merriam-Webster)?

keenekarl: "You are the most handsome of men; you are an eloquent speaker. God has surely blessed you." (Psalm 45:2)

The same is true with Psalm 45:2. For some reason, keenekarl has replaced "grace" with "eloquent" and "fairer" with "most handsome".

The King James Bible:
"Thou art fairer than the children of men: grace is poured into thy lips: therefore God hath blessed thee for ever."

Once again, why the substitution? Why not use the actual quotes?

If this DUmmie feels that Obama is another Messiah, why does he feel the need to LIE about what others said of Jesus when he makes a comparison between the two?

10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's probably using the Reader's Digest Condensed version... You know where they cut down the 10 Commandments to 4 to 'keep it moving'?

Personally, having grown up in the south and having been exposed to this type of speech pattern and content, I wonder what the big deal is?

Obama is Jesse Jackson Lite. Less Filling.. and taste? Welllll.. I guess that's up to you.

But the actual content of his gasbaggedness wouldn't fill a cockroaches rectum.

10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

keenekarl does explain at the end he was trying to make the Jesus comparison in a non-devine context. I think he was trying to make the comparison about their public speaking acumen...LOL!!
keenekarl should realize that making any comparison to Christ will be seen as a devine assertion by some, regardless of how benign the topic. Christ generaly isn't the best one to be making political comparisons to, he wasn't a politician. Besides, unlike Obama, Jesus actually had something of substance to say. He didn't speak in eloquent platitudes and generalities. Even keenkarl is somewhat quoting him today. I doubt any one will be quoting Obama primary speeches in 4008.

11:23 PM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...

One word will sink Obama but I'm afraid no one will ever ask him. The word is "how?" Just ask the guy how he is going to do these things.

11:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"But the actual content of his gasbaggedness wouldn't fill a cockroaches rectum." anon

Put like a proper wingnut.

"One word will sink Obama but I'm afraid no one will ever ask him. The word is "how?" Just ask the guy how he is going to do these things." cap

Lemming. OK, cap. What's McCains plan for the economy? Iraq? Iran? Palestine? New Orleans? Environment? Immigration? Security? Care to spell it out? Telecoms? FISA? You're throwing stones in a glass house.

The reason you don't know the 'how' is because you haven't looked. That's your fault.

12:43 AM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

I've looked at Obama's 'spell it out' stuff. Mostly warmed over Stalinist command-and-control economics (I suppose he isn't willing to admit he knows even less about econ than McCain will), ass-kissing for some of those 'special interest groups' that he claims other kowtow to, and feel-ggod Kumbayah international relations that worked so well for his adviser Bzrzenski (author of much of Jimmy Carter's stellar foreign policy [How's that Iran policy working out, Jimmah?]) and later for Madeleine Halfbright as she waltzed with Kim Il-Sung.

Evidently his idea of 'change' is to go back to somewhere between 1925 and 1979 depending on whether we're talking the economy, international trade (don't need any, don't want any), or international relations.

Yup. Barack to the Future.

12:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What's McCains plan for the economy? Iraq? Iran? Palestine? New Orleans? Environment? Immigration? Security? Care to spell it out?Telecoms? FISA? You're throwing stones in a glass house."

McCain's been in the Senate for over 20 years, I think his voting record speaks well of his policies. Obama's been in the Senate for less than two. He has no record to speak of. So, if I'm going to throw stones in ether "glass house", I'll pick McCain's as his house is a hell of a lot bigger and, therefor, a lot less liable to get broken. Obama's, on the other hand, is so small and weak that a single pebble is liable to bring the whole thing crashing down around you.

Oh, and if you're really interested in McCain's policies, I suggest you check out his website. Link.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"He's probably using the Reader's Digest Condensed version"

More likely he's dog-eared copy of Biblical Quotes for Useful Idiots. Stalin Press, Circa 1933

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obama would be closer to fitting the definition of the Antichrist, with his smooth tongue and flatteries.

4:06 PM  

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