Thursday, June 30, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-30-05 ("Screw 2008! The World Can't Wait!")

DUmmie frustration with the EVIL BUSH REGIME has gone from blind anger to flat out treason as you can see in this non-constitutional call for the overthrow of the government in this THREAD titled, “Screw 2008! The World Can't Wait!” This treasonous rant by DUmmie repeater138 recognizes that the Left CAN’T win at the polls and that impeachment is an impossibility so the solution for them is to OVERTHROW the government. No pretenses about going through any sort of electoral process to initiate change. Since the rant of DUmmie repeater138 is so long, this entire DUFU edition will be devoted to this plea for treason. The impotent pleas for the overthrow of the ELECTED government by DUmmie repeater138 is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering when this DUmmie’s rantings become part of the Democrat Party platform, is in the [brackets]:

Screw 2008! The World Can't Wait!

The World Can't Wait! Drive Out the Bush Regime!

The World Can't Wait!

Drive Out the Bush Regime!


Mobilize for November 2, 2005


Your government, on the basis of outrageous lies, is waging a murderous and utterly illegitimate war in Iraq, with other countries in their sights.

[Andorra is next on our invasion list.]

Your government is openly torturing people, and justifying it.

[Is that you, Dick Durbin?]

Your government puts people in jail on the merest suspicion, refusing them lawyers, and either holding them indefinitely or deporting them in the dead of night.

[I grieve over the loss of Miranda Rights for Al Qaeda terrorists.]

Your government is moving each day closer to a theocracy, where a narrow and hateful brand of Christian fundamentalism will rule.

[Is that you, Howard Dean?]

Your government suppresses the science that doesn’t fit its religious, political and economic agenda, forcing present and future generations to pay a terrible price.

[Yeah. The government has just ruled that the laws of electro-magnetism are now illegal.]

Your government is moving to deny women here, and all over the world, the right to birth control and abortion.

[The Chinese will be surprised to learn that.]

Your government enforces a culture of greed, bigotry, intolerance and ignorance.

[It’s called the Hollywood Culture.]

People look at all this and think of Hitler – and they are right to do so. The Bush regime is setting out to radically remake society very quickly, in a fascist way, and for generations to come. We must act now; the future is in the balance.

[Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,
Show us the sign
Your children have waited to see.
The morning will come
When the world is mine.
Tomorrow belongs to me!]

Millions and millions are deeply disturbed and outraged by this. They recognize the need for a vehicle to express this outrage, yet they cannot find it; politics as usual cannot meet the enormity of the challenge, and people sense this.

[Speaking of deeply disturbed, DUmmie repeater138. Could you give us the long list of meds you are taking? Obviously they are NOT working.]

There is not going to be some magical “pendulum swing.” People who steal elections and believe they’re on a “mission from God” will not go without a fight.

[Diebold. The Gift that keeps on Giving.]

There is not going to be some savior from the Democratic Party. This whole idea of putting our hopes and energies into “leaders” who tell us to seek common ground with fascists and religious fanatics is proving every day to be a disaster, and actually serves to demobilize people.

[Don’t despair. There is always Dennis Kucinich. The Evil Elf is tanned, rested, and ready.]

But silence and paralysis are NOT acceptable. That which you will not resist and mobilize to stop, you will learn – or be forced – to accept. There is no escaping it: the whole disastrous course of this Bush regime must be STOPPED. And we must take the responsibility to do it.

[Trust me, DUmmie repeater138. On November 2, your fat ass will be parked all day in front of a glowing computer screen in the dark basement corner of your parents’ house.]

And there is a way. We are talking about something on a scale that can really make a huge change in this country and in the world. We need more than fighting Bush’s outrages one at a time, constantly losing ground to the whole onslaught. We must, and can, aim to create a political situation where the Bush regime’s program is repudiated, where Bush himself is driven from office, and where the whole direction he has been taking society is reversed. We, in our millions, must and can take responsibility to change the course of history.

[I believe the correct term for that “political situation” you are advocating via treasonous means is called “Bolshevism.”]

To that end, on November 2, the first anniversary of Bush’s “re-election”, we will take the first major step in this by organizing a truly massive day of resistance all over this country. People everywhere will walk out of school, they will take off work, they will come to the downtowns and town squares and set out from there, going through the streets and calling on many more to JOIN US. They will repudiate this criminal regime, making a powerful statement: “NO! THIS REGIME DOES NOT REPRESENT US! AND WE WILL DRIVE IT OUT!”

[I’m sure this will be just as successful as NOT ONE DAMN DIME DAY.]

November 2 must be a massive and public proclamation that WE REFUSE TO BE RULED IN THIS WAY. November 2 must call out to the tens of millions more who are now agonizing and disgusted. November 2 will be the beginning – a giant first step in forcing Bush to step down, and a powerful announcement that we will not stop until he does so – and it will join with and give support and heart to people all over the globe who so urgently need and want this regime to be stopped.

[Translation: Dozens of DUmmies will register their protest on November 2 by posting angry messages in DUmmieland.]

This will not be easy. If we speak the truth, they will try to silence us. If we act, they will to try to stop us. But we speak for the majority, here and around the world, and as we get this going we are going to reach out to the people who have been so badly fooled by Bush and we are NOT going to stop.

[You will be silenced by the wall of laughter caused by your Drama Queen antics.]

The point is this: history is full of examples where people who had right on their side fought against tremendous odds and were victorious. And it is also full of examples of people passively hoping to wait it out, only to get swallowed up by a horror beyond what they ever imagined. The future is unwritten. WHICH ONE WE GET IS UP TO US.

[Fear not. Your reservation for the Ezra Pound Loony Bin Cage has been confirmed.]

These next two months are crucial. The call you are reading has to get out to millions right away – on the internet, passed out as flyers in communities, published as ads in newspapers. DO NOT WAIT!! GET ORGANIZED!! If you agree with this statement, add your name to it!!! And do more than that: send it to friends, get them to sign it, organize a meeting, take it to your church, your school, your union, your health club, your barber shop, to concerts and libraries and family gatherings, everywhere you go. Raise money, lots of money. Get people together, make plans to be there on November 2, and to build for it. GET IN TOUCH WITH US AT OUR WEBSITE,

[Take it to your mental ward, your crack house, your dark, lifeless basement, everywhere you go. BTW, I went to your website and I congratulate you on your sneaky way of causing mass blindness with that yellow lettering on light blue background layout.]

The world can’t wait! Drive out the Bush Regime! Mobilize for November 2!

Initiating signers of this call include:

Margot Harry
C. Clark Kissinger
Travis Morales
Sunsara Taylor

[I’m shocked that the name of Ward Churchill is not on that list but at least you got plenty of other well known celebs to sign on to your lunacy.]

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-28-05 ("Fight dirty, go negative early and often")

I have to give the DUmmies credit for honesty in this THREAD titled, “Fight dirty, go negative early and often.” At least they make absolutely NO phony pretense at trying to attain even a minimal level of civility. They up front admit they HATE Republicans and will do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to defeat them. This is the REAL FACE of the Left, not that false front the professional Democrats put up when they know the cameras are rolling. Read this thread and learn how the Democrats REALLY think. It is a sad sight but educational as well. As usual, the bile spewing DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, happy to present to the world the ugly DUmmie face behind the Democrat mask, is in the [brackets]:

Fight dirty, go negative early and often. Politics is a bloodsport, not a Gentleman's game! Dems can't compete if they attempt to maintain the "moral high ground".

[Don’t worry. You have no “moral high ground” to maintain.]

Kick republicans in the balls, gouge out their eyes, crush their windpipe and kick them when they're down repeatedly.

[Is that you, Howard Dean?]

Or, you can get used to being the minority party.

[Thanx to this post you made you will remain a minority party for much longer than you ever intended. Now let us hear the rest of the DUmmies add in their rabid ravings…]

bingo! Here's an example that pissed me off locally. There was a local D. meeting in town a couple weeks ago. The group had reserved a covered picnic area at a local park. When they got there an R operative was eating lunch in the picnic area. Rather than confronting him, they moved the D meeting to the lawn.


OH I agree! I think that's what Dean has been doing! Now you tell ME why so many Dems are slamming him for doing it????? I have been saying for years that you have to fight fire with fire. We can't let the opposition use rockets and we continue to use pocket knives!!! Whay won't the Dems let Howard do a job that he's very good at doing? Why won't our elected Dems join him?

[Perhaps you can take solace from the fact that the Republicans are willing to leave Dean alone to destroy the Democrat Party by himself.]

Because .... the failed, old guard, pink tutu, handwringing, go along to get along, appeasing wing of the Dem party cannot stand it that they are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG and they don't have a plan or the guts to take power from the Repugs. They continue with their measured rhetoric and whine when the media doens't cover it. They wonder why, that after compromise after compromise with the Repubs, that when they want a small portion of good will they get shit on every time. Some people are simply too nice to play politics as the Republicans have defined it. They should move aside and let those who have the passion and the ability play.

[Move aside and allow the DUmmies to self-destruct!]

This is TRUE TRUE TRUE. I wish our folks would start taking this to heart. DAMN!

Yes, I know it takes us down to their level. Yes, I know it makes us no better than them. F*CK IT! Just Do It ANYWAY.

Yes, I also know that poll after poll after poll shows people SAY they don't like negative campaigning and that it's a turn-off. NEVERTHELESS, they STILL fall for it and buy into it, hook, line, and sinker. Research repeatedly shows that NEGATIVE CAMPAIGNING WORKS. IT WORKS. IT GETS THE JOB DONE. IT WINS ELECTIONS. And even while people CLAIM they don't like it, they are still taken in by it, BIGTIME.

WHEN are we gonna realize that?

When I start talking about how you don't take a knife to a gunfight, and if someone shoots at you with a howitzer, you don't arm yourself with a feather duster, I get the same tired old crap about how - Oh, Dear Me! That means we're no better than them!!! We're just like them!! Oh, WOE!!!

And you know how I've started to respond? I say - "you know something? I DO want to be like them. JUST like them. Because you know what they are? They're WINNERS. And I want to win. So if that's what it takes, SO BE IT. It's about time Macchiavelli started working for the Good Guys, anyway."

[Keep talking. This Anger Management Therapy Session still has a few minutes to go. (Note: Patient appears to be Just Plain NUTS!!!)]

If negative campaigning didn't work, Max Cleland would still be a Senator. I know people don't like it, and there are times it backfires, but if it's not sufficiently answered, it works. Throw enough shit at the wall, and some of it always sticks. The trouble is, all the feces-flinging howler monkeys appear to be working for the GOP, and that's a lot of shit to keep scraping off the walls. Some of it always manages to leave a smear.

[It appears you’ve tossed more than your share of shit at the fan.]

yes sir- it is LONG PAST time to break out the baseball bats.

[Stand by! Dr. Buddy Rydell will be seeing you in a minute.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-28-05 ("I will * NOT * support Hillary Clinton for President")

Hillary WILL be your ’08 candidate, DUmmies. Get used to it. Karl Rove has already set the wheels in motion to MAKE this happen. Therefore you can whine all you want to no avail as you have in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “I will * NOT * support Hillary Clinton for President..” You won’t support Hillary Clinton for President in ’08? TOUGH LUCK because that is who will be your nominee. Better face reality and LEARN to live with this fact now, DUmmies. And don’t look for John F. Kerry to be your standard bearer. Kerry will be crushed like a firefly on the window of the speeding Hillary machine. As for Edwards, any thought that he can put up any kind fight against Hillary is entirely laughable. However, continue in your delusions that there are other candidates who might win the Democrat nomination in ’08. Such speculation is great for laughs. Yeah. Throw out those winning candidates, DUmmies. Kucinich, Boxer, Conyers…Make me laugh! So let us now watch the DUmmies vainly try to throw spitballs at Hillary in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anticipating the DUmmie screechings when the invevitable smacks the DUmmies in their faces in three years, is in the [brackets]:

I will * NOT * support Hillary Clinton for President.

[What a coincidence. I won’t either.]

Do I think she is a smart lady? Yes. Is she perfect? Heavens, no! Is the problem with her politics, or the fact she's a female? NO!


[Li’l Kim in North Korea will be very disappointed in you.]

In a country with 300 Million People, I think we can find a few that aren't IMMEDIATE family with past Presidents. I believe that 'changing the guard' with new people is a GOOD thing (which is one of the reasons I was very pleased with Bill Clinton -- the same corrupt folks had been in power for 12 years before him, and his crew straightened things up somewhat).

[Let me guess. You were not happy with the Discovery Channel poll results for the Greatest American. Continue DUmmie IdaBriggs.]

Hillary was a great First Lady, and I assume the citizens of New York are happy with her as a Senator. When she and her husband moved into the White House, however, as far as I am concerned, she and her daughter sacrificed THEIR presidential ambitions -- at least as far as I am concerned.

[Hillary was Pretty in Pink while explaining how she ingeniously turned a $1000 investment in cattle futures into $100,000 profit within one year.]

As for the Bush family, they exemplify the disastrous problems of name recognition as a voting criteria. If George didn't have that "Bush" name recognition (which we heard for 12 years as our Vice President and then President), this alcoholic failed businessman would still be drying out someplace in Connecticut.

[Maybe Bush should have invested in cattle futures.]

Yes, I get the importance of 'relationships' in politics -- and having keys to the White House definitely opens up a lot of doors for the residents. Yes, I get that watching someone else play President makes for a great 'how to' guide, but I don't believe ruling a country is a good 'family business' or we would call them Kings instead of Presidents.

[We also call them communist dictatorships ala North Korea and Cuba when Fidel hands the keys to the kingdom over to brother Raul upon his demise.]

Apologies to the Kennedy family, as well as Hillary, but I will repeat myself:

[Sniff! This might cause Patrick Kennedy increase the dosage of his meds.]


[HILLARY ’08. And now to hear the other DUmmies pile dive on Hillary.]

I would endorse Barbara Boxer over Hillary in a New York minute!

[And I would endorse your ridiculous choice even faster.]

Do some of you actually believe that being married to a President is qualification?? If so, let's hope the right wing is just as ridiculous, and they run Pickles. Of course, until electro-fraud voting is eliminated, she would still win. Seriously though, I would like an explanation of Hillary's "qualifications".

[I’m not sure how the DUmmies came up with calling Laura Bush “Pickles” but she was the wife of Morey Amsterdam on the “Dick Van Dycke Show.” Fun fact: The real life Morey Amsterdam was a big Reagan supporter.]

I won't support her, either. And if she's the nominee, I won't vote for her

[So you can either vote for Nader or McCain. They will both be running on third party tickets.]

But my view is that Hillary is pretty close to Republican herself. The main difference being that the Repubs want to screw us quick, and the so-called New Democrats want to screw us slowly. If I'm going to get screwed, I'd rather just get it out of the way and deal with aftermath as soon as possible.

[A slow screw by Hillary is definitely NOT a pleasant experience.]

I Agree that Hillary is a Dino/Rhino...As a woman I would never vote for her. Yet, in no way would I vote for a Republican, ever - never! Not have this Adm. I'm just sick of massive corporations corrupting our Constitution & Bill of Rights or what's left of them. And did I mention the corruption. Tired of it. I'd rather see some of those female Representatives that walked w/Conyers hold a ticket. And if they can't do it, Edwards would get my vote.

[Ah! The Breck Girl. So you still get to vote for a female.]

Hang in there I understand that Rove might back Jeb Bush in 08

[Actually Karl Rove is backing Hillary in ’08…but only for your nominee…Hee! Hee!]

What makes you think she's running for President? She's never ran for President. She's never formed an exploratory committee to see about running for President. She's never raised money to run for President. She's never entered a Presidential Primary. She's never even said that she'd like to run for the Presidency.

[Hillary running for president? Gee! Where did we ever get such a silly, ridiculous idea? I mean there are NO CLUES out there at all that Hillary is planning to run for President. Right?]

Obviously, there are rumors about her; whether or not they are true, people are listening to them. I'm a pretty plain spoken woman, and I'm addressing this issue as one that is rarely discussed: as a dynastic element (name recognition), which I believe is one that helped elect the WORST president we've EVER had. I am not discussing her qualifications, character or experience. I am simply rejecting her based on the fact that she is immediate family to a past president.

[Rumors? You mean there are actually rumors out there that Hillary is planning to run for president? Where did you hear such absurd rumors?]

IF she is the nominee, then I will assume the Democrats are morans.

[I made that assumption LONG AGO.]

Think of Hillary as you would a tourniquet. When one is hemorrhaging to death, a tourniquet is precisely what is needed to keep one alive until one gets to the hospital. Our nation, and our liberties, are hemorrhaging to death. If Hillary is the Democratic nominee in 2008, she is that tourniquet we need to prevent the death of our once great nation.

[FUnnie but I always thought of Hillary as an enema of the people.]

Bush numbers for the popular vote made it difficult to question the election results and helped boost his claim of a popular mandate.


Try telling that to the Talking Heads....They're already declaring that the Democratic primaries are over (before anyone has even ANNOUNCED their candidacy), and that no other Democrat should even bother to run against Hillary.

[It’s ALL been decided. Hillary WILL be your nominee. None can defy the Perfect Rovian Storm!]

I just think we need to win...and I do not believe, in my heart of hearts, that she can win. Period.

[Karl Rove has already figured that out. Hee! Hee!]

"It doesnt matter what we do...the party insiders have already selected the nominee for us!" With that attitude, what the hell's the point of even having a Democratic primary, if there's supposedly nothing that grassroots voters can do to influence it?

[It’s a done deal, DUmmie. There is NOTHING you can do about it. Hillary WILL be your nominee.]

I will not support Hilary. If she gets the nomination the dems will lose my vote. It has nothing to do with political dynastys. She sits too close to the fence for me.

[So vote for someone in the DUmmie mainstream such as Bob Avakian.]

My problem is with her politics, plus I just don't like her. Never have. I spent the entire Clinton administration and a little while after it TRYING to like her. I didn't succeed and finally gave up.

[Perhaps it is due to the fact that when Hillary’s voice rises just a decibel above normal she sounds completely shrill, making the viewer want to shout “STFU” at his TV set.]

HILLARY IS A WINNER ! Hillary is a proven winner. It's sad to see all the frothing allegiance to actual and proven rejects. Let's get behind a winner with more guts, brains, and appeal than any candidate in any party.


Will she be elected? Probably not although her spinners have been very busy with some fast and loose polls. BTW, I am well aware the General Clark will back her 100%.

[And you win a KEWPIE doll for having the momentary perception that Weasley Clark is nothing other than a Hillary hand puppet.]

I AIN'T DOING HILLARY EITHER. She may have what it takes, but to go Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton doesn't do it for me. Besides, that's WHO THEY WANT! JOHN EDWARDS!!!!

[Yes! That video of the Breck Girl fussing with his hair in a beauty compact mirror is quite inspiring.]

I dont think Hillary will run-- I thikn she knows her best position is in the senate. 3 years ago I thought Hillary would be the 1st woman president. NOw I htink she will never win or run.

[You don’t think Hillary will run? Mighty powerful meds there that you must be taking.]

I won't support her either. Not just because I don't like dynasties but also because I don't like her blowing in the wind and her "anything for political expediency" attitude. If she gets the nod I'll go third party.

[Psst! Socialist Workers Party.]

I don't personally have a problem with the fact that she stayed married to Bill Clinton. I have a problem with how her entire career can be summed up in one word: OPPORTUNISM.

[A first here. TWO Kewpie Dolls awarded in a DUFU edition to DUmmies displaying brief moments of mental clarity.]

Back to Jesusland! Unless we have electoral reform, including proportional representation, the Jesus-fascists will continue to have disproportional representation in our legislatures and in Congress. There is no way to even be competitive against the forces of ignorance and intolerance unless we address the issue of election rules.

[Please excuse me for splashing the cold water of reality into your face but we DO have proportional representation. You never heard of the House of Representatives?]

We don't need the South to win! We do need Ohio, and Kerry may have actually won Ohio.

[Kerry pretty much killed his chances in Ohio during the campaign when he went out in public wearing that Elmer Fudd hunting costume.]

I believe the only thing Hillary stands for is Hillary in a position of power.

[Sorry. I’ve already run out of Kewpie Dolls to award for brief moments of mental clarity in this thread.]

It kills me that people are so eager to see her run for pres in 08! She is hardly into her first term as Senator and yet people are already jumping to send her to the White House! Unbelievable.

[It’s also going to kill you when Hillary leads the Democrat ticket down to sure defeat in ’08. It’s all part of the Plan. The Perfect Rovian Game Plan.]

She is hardly into her first term as Senator and yet people are already jumping to send her to the White House! Unbelievable. I am in agreement with you IdaBriggs. Dynasties are not a good thing in politics. This is why we are a Republic. Also, I cannot understand why the Senator is leaning slightly rightward lately in regards to abortion and immigration. I also cannot forget that she voted for the authorization of Bush to invade Iraq. I am a little disturbed in her DLC-inspired shift. However that's me!


[I guess realism isn’t your strong point.]

Monday, June 27, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-27-05 ("How many of us here take antidepressants?")

A couple of weeks ago we had a great deal of fun in the DUFU edition titled, What meds do you take? and today we go back to the same FUnnie territory in this THREAD titled, “How many of us here take antidepressants?” Especially since the November election I am sure the DUmmies are taking antidepressants in copious quantities. In fact, I think they probably just swallowed down whole bottles of antidepressants on Election Night after they found out that Kerry did NOT win despite their early victory celebrations when the exit polls came out. So sit back, pop your Prozac, and relax to the entertaining posts of DUmmies endeavoring to control their depressing demeanors in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, consulting a pharmacology dictionary in order to understand the many, many drug references, is in the [brackets]:

How many of us here take antidepressants?

[About 75% of all DUmmies are taking strong antidepressants and the other 25% are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Coming from a family with a strong history of mental health issues like OCD, Alcoholism, and manic depression, a state that has just cut mental health by $36 million, and nation of "mental health experts" like Tom Cruise, I wondered how many of us here are currently taking antidepressants or have family members that have been helped by these drugs? I have taken Paxil for 2 years and doubt I will ever go off the drug. Does that mean I am weak??

[It means you are a TYPICAL DUmmie.]

Effexor here. first i was on paxil but it made me too zombie-like. have been on effexor for about 4.5 years. and we are not weak. i just didn't want to feel that way anymore and decided to do something about it.

[Effexor. Hey, that sounds like a great DUmmie screen name!]

Effexor here, too. Paxil made me hear voices in my head (not the usual ones ) and made me feel very paranoid and think that I was being stalked, but Effexor XR has worked like a charm for me for the last year. No side effects except a little stomach queasiness for the first couple of weeks.

[And I know what those voices said: “Bush won! Bush won!” Yes, you had to take massive doses of Effexor to get rid of those horrible voices.]

You should hear what the voices in my head are calling you

[“DUmmie fool! DUmmie fool!”]

I Would Call You Strong. Weak would be not admitting there is a problem or thinking medicine is wrong. Strength comes with facing reality. I am a big advocate of "legal" drugs. If you were a diabetic, you would not hesitate to take your medicine; if you had high blood pressure, you would not hesitate to take your medicine; the same goes for cholesterol. Our mental health is just as important.

[All those antidepressants you are taking… DOUBLE the dosage!]

Manic here on Trazadone because everything else makes me to HYPER!!

[What gets you into the Depressive mood? Trazadont?]

I too have a family history of depression. I was diagnosed with a anxiety disorder that bordered on depression (I used to get panic attacks). I've been taking a very low dose of cilexa (sp?) for the past couple of years.

[I bet you swallowed a whole bottle of that stuff on Election Night.]

no stigma here! tom cruise can kiss my lily white ass!

[There would only be a chance for that to happen if you have a litly white MALE ass.]

prozac here, with no apologies. i spent years working out, meditating, eating perfectly, counseling, etc. etc. etc. always on the verge of suicide. i say praise prozac.

[Remember the suicide hotline number: 1-800-BUSH-WON]

Same here, although I am now taking the generic version of fluoxetine (Brand name: Prozac) as I don't have insurance and it is much cheaper. I have tried everything and it's the only thing that has saved me from going over the edge.

[I hate to be the one to tell you this but it DIDN’T work.]

I changed because Paxil affected me like electricty.. I would sudden what seemed like electrical sparks just sitting there.

[Maybe all you need is to spray yourself down with Static Guard.]

Meds at our house. And most of us know someone who has benefited from psych drugs if we aren't on them ourselves. Leave it to an ignorant @ss like Tom Cruise to put down one of the most beneficial technologies of the 20th century.

[I’m thinking that Tom Cruise was on some sort of powerful meds when he was hopping around like an idiot on Oprah’s couch.]

doc friend told me every professor at University was on meds.

[Finally. A DUmmie post that makes sense.]

I am on Strattera. It has its benefits, including some minor antidepressant functions (I'm not eating bags of potato chips daily any more)...

[So if I want to beat my potato chips addiction, I need to get addicted to Strattera?]

One other thing about Physic meds is though...For myself, it has helped my self esteem immensely. I used to have a real problem with that, but since I have been on anti depressants, it has boosted my saritonin levels to the point that I am on top of the world.

[So was Jimmy Cagney at the end of White Heat. “Hey Ma! TOP OF THE WORLD!!!”]

I'm glad these drugs are available to my husband, even though he's not a killer or a rapist, because his untreated brain has nasty side effects.

[We know, DUmmie sfexpat2000. We know.]

Cymbalta, Provigil and Lamictal. Provigil is an upper and Lamictal is a mood stabilizer.

[And Cymbalta stems the flow of your rabid drooling.]

I just switched from Prozac to Alexapro. I had been on Prozac for 11 years. I don't think i'd survive without one antidepressant or another.

[Try a Lithium cocktail for a nightcap.]

Too poor to get the right meds, have to self medicate which is not good at all

[Self medicate? Does that mean you have to knock yourself out with a rubber mallet?]

Maybe dems win it next time and someone will have the guts to get national health insurance passed. I know that untreated bipolar people are very destructive in a relationship. Hope he's a mild case. Don't give up.

[More likely the dems will LOSE next time and you will all have to TRIPLE your dosage of whatever it is you are taking now.]

Marijuana here. F*ck the Bush Administrations stance on it; I am still gonna smoke it in the privacy of my own home for medicinal uses.

[Puff the Magic DUmmie, Down by the Sea!]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-27-05 ("Here's why Reagan won the 'Greatest American' thing")

If any of you were watching the Discovery Channel’s poll results for the Greatest American last night, it was an amazing sight. When the results were finally announced at the end of the show, a dispirited Matt Lauer immediately tried to explain it away with a bunch of excuses. Why? Because the winner was none other than RONALD REAGAN. Pity poor Matt. All that hype he did for his show and the results were obviously NOT what he wanted. This morning on the Today Show, Matt looked like he just wanted to forget all about his Discovery Channel show and again came up with the excuses such as that Reagan passed away recently, etc.. However, much as Matt disliked the results of his Discover Channel poll, the DUmmies were even more upset. In fact, as soon as Matt last night gloomily announced the winner, I KNEW the DUmmies would be enraged by the results as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Here's why Reagan won the "Greatest American" thing.” So there you go again, DUmmies, with your anger in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, happy that we won one again for the Gipper, is in the [brackets]:

Here's why Reagan won the "Greatest American" thing.

[Because he got the MOST votes from Americans who admired him? But continue DUmmie Chichiri. Let us see if your excuses are any lamer than that offered up by the glum Matt Lauer last night.]

1) The poll was conducted by AOL. Hence, it was most heavily advertised on AOL.

2) AOL is the country's most popular dial-up service.

3) With broadband internet becoming steadily more popular and less expensive across the nation, the largest group of AOLers today are probably rednecks -- or, more broadly (and more politely), those who live in rural parts of the country where broadband is not available and cheap.

4) Rednecks vote Republican.

5) There was only one real Republican in the top five. Everyone else was on our side.

[Actually there were TWO Republicans in the top five since Lincoln was not only a Republican but also the FIRST Republican president. As to your BIZARRE explanation about AOL, dial-up, Rednecks, and makes about as much sense as saying that most people using alternating currents in their home electrical systems are Republicans. Come to think of it, the AOL bit would actually skew it towards Democrats since the head of AOL is a Leftwinger. But thanks for giving us a comedically entertaining explanation for why Reagan won the poll. It was far funnier than Matt Lauer’s dispirited excuses.]

We'll ask several million generally ignorant people to vote on something they know nothing does THAT sound?

[I can already see the new DUmmie rationale as to why the Democrats consistently LOSE elections.]

Death as a career move. It's cause he died recently. That'll idealize anyone, you know what I mean?

[Sorry. You need to try harder. Matt Lauer already came up with that lame excuse.]

What's that tell you about the average I.Q. of a lot of people in this country. Those yokels just stayed home in front of their televisions to prove to the world what a bunch of backward dumbasses they are. All I can figure is that we better take a good look at the educational system in this country or a lot of people are marrying their first cousins.

[A lot of folks did take a good look at the educational system in this country and that is why homeschooling has become so popular.]

Ridiculous when MLK is in the line-up – tho tho my overall reaction is fine - Raygun won - at least * did not even make it to the Final 5. If that had happened we'd know for sure the whole contest was a set up or that we should in fact flee the country immediately (if not sooner).

[Oh go ahead and flee the country now (if not sooner).]

Well hell Vern how many Amuricans take 7 days to bury? A few younger people I know believe he was a great man based on the media orgasm that surrounded his departure.

[And all those folks who stopped on the freeway in tribute to the Gipper as the Reagan funeral procession made it’s way for the final burial were manipulated to do so by the media?]

Vote was split. I think #5 was the biggest reason. All the right-wing folks voted for reagan just because he was a republican. Which is pretty much what I figured would happen.

[Actually the vote was split between TWO Republicans. Reagan AND Lincoln. It looks like YOU need to take a good at the educational system YOU went throught.]

The reason he won was because republicans, conservative etc have no ability to be reasonable, objective and put things into context.

[Unlike the DUmmies who are ever so reasonable, objective, and put things into context.]

So tomorrow when my resident freeper starts to crow about the greatest American being Ronnie, I will simply tell him that no election in which you could vote three times in one week for your choice is worth shit and means that... shit.

[Another great lame excuse.]

When I first voted. I had trouble figuring out how to vote and accidently voted for Reagan. Ugh. It was a strange layout.

[It was that Butterfly Ballot on your cellphone keypad that threw you off you little genius you.]

Friday, June 24, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-24-05 ("Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors")

In the DUmmie Alternate Quantum Reality, not only is Al Gore still President as chronicled in our previous DUmmie FUnnies edition but Cuba is a WONDERFUL Workers Paradise. Yes, DUmmies actually believe that the quality of life in Castro’s Cuba is preferable to that in the USA as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors.” And how much did Cuba raise the salaries of their teachers and doctors? Read on and be amazed at the incredible generosity of Fidel Castro. So sit back, relax with some Havana Club rum which Castro never owned but still personally pocketed the money from its sale to a French company, and read this latest edition of DUmmie Love for Cuba. As usual the praises for Cuba by the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how much they pay humble correspondents in Cuba, is in the [brackets]:

Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors

[Ooooh! How wonderful! I can’t wait to read just how generous this raise in salaries was in the Workers Paradise.]

HAVANA (AP) - Cuba increased the salaries of its teachers, doctors and nurses, highlighting the importance the nation's communist government puts on its health and education sectors.

Workers in these fields will receive an average of 40 to 50 additional Cuban pesos a month, or the equivalent of about US$2 (euro1.7). The increase was to take affect July 1.

"It's very modest, and can be improved upon," President Fidel Castro said in a live televised address to announce the news Thursday.

[And don’t you be so modest, Fidel. This increase in salary of almost a dime a day is just too good to be true! I’m sure American doctors and teachers will be flocking to Cuba to get in on your generosity…especially if they are DUmmies. And speaking of DUmmies, let us now hear their reaction to this amazing increase in Cuban salaries…]

I'd never ever expect I'd be saying this: Cuba becoming more humane and civilized toward its workers while the US does the opposite... Yipes.

[So true, DUmmie HypnoToad. Castro is just too kind to his workers with that salary increase of almost a dime a day. And when does the DUmmie Boat head to Cuba so you all can enjoy that more humane and civilized place?]

The day is soon approaching when Americans get on rafts to flee to Cuba seeking freedom and democracy.

[Normally I would suspect this statement as coming from the sarcastic mouth of a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL but since it is kookie DUmmie IndianaGreen posting this, I can assure you that he actually DOES mean this which makes it even FUnnier.]

$2 a month more. $24 a year. Excuse me - I'm not impressed.


Stop reading the CANF propaganda! The Miami gusanos would love nothing more than to return to Cuba and replace the free health care with a US-style HMO. Do you call that progress? They will also bring all of their Republican ideology with them and proceed to rape and pillage their former compatriots, not to mention filling the Cuban airwaves with the putrid theology of fundamentalist Christianity!

[Thank you for setting the LOUSY FREEPER TROLL straight DUmmie IndianaGreen.]

So there up to what, 40 dollars a month?

[Yes, over a dollar a day! Life is BEAUTIFUL in Cuba!]

I'll take Cuba over Bush's budding gulag in America any day!

[Nobody is keeping you from leaving “Bush’s budding gulag” and moving to Cuba, DUmmie IndianaGreen.]

and most citizens live in squalor, cant speak out against the government and are so desperate to leave they make rafts out of 1950's Chevys risking DEATH to cross the 90 mile straight to reach Florida. Cuba is such a glorious place that people cant wait to drown in order to get out!

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Your tombstoning is coming soon!]

The people that flee Cuba are repeat fleers, that are trying to enter the US for the same perceived economic opportunities that motivate Mexicans to cross the border.

[And of course, DUmmie IndianaGreen, they soon learn how squalid life is in the USA compared to the Workers Paradise they escaped from.]

The value of money is VERY relative. In Cuba, this raise is significant. Not extravagant no, but significant.

[That extra dime a day (almost) goes soooo far in Cuba. Of course I am thinking if that extra dime were actually American money instead of in Cuban pesos.]

Doesn't Cuba have a higher literacy rate than the US? I swear I have read this a few places. Now that is something!

[Fantastic. Now the folks down there can spell “STARVATION.”]

They block reception of the American "exile" staffed and programmed propaganda tv station, Radio Marti from Miami. It's crap. We pay around $30,000,000.00 for the Miami right-wing extremists to create programing to send back to the same island where they're not welcome.

[Yes, those broadcasts from the States showing fully stocked supermarket shelves are nothing but a lot of right-wing propaganda.]

Also a lower infant mortality rate, a higher rate of AIDS survivors, a life expectancy that I believe just passed ours, etc etc.

[They have certainly cured the problem of obesity by making access to food very difficult.]

Thursday, June 23, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-23-05 ("Al Gore is still president")

I have always stated that the DUmmies believe in an Alternate Reality and this THREAD titled, “Al Gore is still president,” only confirms this. Yes, the REAL reality of Bush being President with a Republican senate and congress is just too much for the DUmmies to bear so they have to set up their own Leftwing reality in the alternate universe. So let us take a psychedelic trip thru the space-time continuum to the alternate DUmmie reality where there is a President Gore and liberalism reigns supreme. As usual the DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, encountering a plethora of Black Monoliths in orbit around Jupiter, is in the [brackets]:

Al Gore is still president.

[And Michael Dukakis is still ex-president. Continue with your entertaining delusion, DUmmie Fescue4u…]

According to Quantum physics, every possiblity actually occurs in a different dimension. For example, if you come to a fork in the road and you go right, in another quantum reality another version of you goes left.

[In your quantum reality, VERY FAR left.]

So, if the theory holds. In another quantum reality, there is a nation full of Happy free people who have just reelected Al Gore to another 4 years.

[The other Quantum Reality BETRAYED US!!!]

9/11 didnt happen. No Iraq war. No Abu Gharib. Bush is still a 2 bit govenor down in Texas.

[Yeah. 9/11 didn’t happen because the terrorists were too scared of the economic sanctions that Gore would have placed on Afghanistan in retaliation.]

Or if you prefer, in another quantum reality, Kerry is getting settled into his office after roundly defeating Bush.

[I BEEEELEEEEVE that Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20 in the alternate quantum reality!]

Bush has been indicted on war crimes and proof of election fraud has been uncovered. Jobs on the increase, the stock market is rising and the troops are all coming home this weekend.

[Kerry has finally SENT in his signed Form 180…]

DAMN. I am sure am jealous of those folks in these other Quantum realitys

[Oh, I’m sure one of your many meds can help you enter the other Quantum reality. But let us now her from your fellow alternate reality DUmmies…]

Well I wish I were there instead of here then

[Isn’t that the purpose of LSD?]

I think about that all the time. What it would be like if it was Al Gore as my president now. This past November I would've proudly voted for his second term and he would be there.

[Did you attend Al Gore’s inauguration in the Jan. 20 of the Alternate Reality? It was a formal event. Coat and tie and tinfoil hat required.]

Given the number of choices/probabilities I don't really support the many worlds theory. Simply b/c of Newton's laws of conservation of energy. From where do these realities come from ? Do they exist concurrently ? If so, what separates us ? An different vibrational frequency ? Perhaps an energy signature that keys us into THIS reality.

[Perhaps you should consult Dr. Emmett Brown on how to enter an Alternate Reality in a DeLorean car.]

One could easily argue that 'observation', 'mind', and 'perception' are the only actors in the determination of reality... in which case each 'quantum' universe would become dependent upon a particular observer or combination of observations. Then one must ask 'what entities are capable of observation?'. Trees? Humans? Rocks? Paris Hilton?

[Andy Stephenson?]

Interesting... so Dennis Kucinich is president in one of these worlds. Kick ass!!!

[It’s the Evil Elf Alternate Reality.]

In one of mine Al Gore is my president and Howard Dean is my VP.

[aka the Screeching Duo.]

So if your 'multiple quantum realities' or 'multiverse' theory holds true, then humanity will have already achieved divinity and therefore omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence in any one of those universii (one is all it would take.). With the mastery of time, space, and consciousness, linear time becomes irrelevant and theoretical quantum differentiation would also become irrelevant. We have won over oblivion no matter what. Got questions?

[Yes. Is there life after birth?]

Sweeet..Maybe one of the omnipotent, omnipotent, omniscience folks can take a break and come save our asses.

[MIGHTY MOUSE! Here he comes to save the day!]

Let's think about it...What do we have to worry about if I'm right? As far as our 'Divine Descendants' are concerned, the universe is based upon sentience... now let's not get into what is and is not sentient... Therefore, reality is gauged on the experience of it's denizens. (That would be everybody and everything) So... if they even vaguely emulate us in our quest to 'remember' everything... to know everything... would they not preserve every single thought, event, action, emotion, reality that ever occurred? Hell, I would. And if the 'multiverse' possibilities are infinite, then there is a universe wherein the denizens would, will, have, and do preserve our each and every consciousness. Remember - these entities transcend all of time and space. They are masters of consciousness... and we are a giant hard drive... part of God so to speak.

[We await the English translation of your reply.]

Actually, a President named Keel is getting ready to create a Paranormal Affairs Committee to deal with the sudden appearance of vampires, superhumans, and other strange creatures that have appeared amongst us.

[Actually Dummieland IS a giant Paranormal Affairs Committee.]

sometimes I go away to my happy place where al gore is president. Can you just imagine the world right now? the way that one factor (a certain president we all know) can just mess things up. I want to go to the parallel universe!

[Yes. I know that Happy Place. It is the place where the good folks in the white coats hand you a butterfly net to play with during recess from your rubber room.]

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-22-05 ("Dean to GOP: In Your Face")

Few people are better than alienating large segments of the population than Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democrat National Committee. Oh, there are Democrats who give him stiff competition in the alienation department such as Hillary or Dick DUrbin but we must concede that Dean is in a class all by himself in his unique ability to self-destruct and take the rest of the Democrats down with him. For proof of this assertion, check out this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Dean to GOP: In Your Face.” Yes, we have all known over the top shmucks in our lives but Dean has taking the art of being an annoying shmuck to the national level. So speak on Dean. Although acting like a jerk will win you accolades in Dummieland, it will surely lean to the destruction of the Democrats just like it killed your candidacy early in the Iowa caucuses. As usual, the angry “in your face” rants by the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, stifling the urge to yell “YEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGHHH!!!” is in the [brackets]:

Dean to GOP: In Your Face

[GOP to Dean: Bring It On! But now let us read more about Dean’s perpetual Meltdown from this Salon article.]

If you were worried that the recent attacks on Howard Dean might have him cowed, you can rest easy this morning. In what the Boston Globe calls a defiant speech at a party fundraiser, Dean said yesterday that neither he nor the Democratic Party he leads is about to back down.

[I have never worried about Dean suffering from sanity.]

"We are going to be much tougher and in your face with the Republicans when they say things that aren't true," Dean told Democrats in Boston. He added: "We can't win if we don't fight."

[Will your “win” be as significant as your own “win” in the Iowa caucuses?]

Dean came under fire from Republicans and some members of his own party for saying that "a lot" of Republicans have "never made an honest living" and that the GOP is "pretty much a white Christian party." The browbeating and piling on reached a weird sort of apex last week when Vice President Dick Cheney -- whose name may bring to mind many things, "love" not being one of them -- said of Dean: "Maybe his mother loved him, but I've never met anybody who does." Monday in Boston, Dean responded: "I don't care if Dick Cheney likes my mother or not; we are going to fight back. I think it's great that Dick Cheney went after me. At least they know there's a Democratic Party that's not going to put up with this stuff anymore."

[Translation: “I have become such a shmuck that I am finally drawing attention to myself. YEEEEAAAAGGGHHHH!!!” …And now the comedy lines switch over to the DUmmies…]

Go, Howard! This man is the Pit Bull of the Democratic Party.

[More like the Pitt feeding the Bull of the Democrat Party.]

This Party needs Pit Bulls! Aren't you tired of the gutless wonders, the mealy-mouthed appeasers, the whimpering apologists, and the cowardly, cover-thier-asses equivocators who just worry about their viability? I am. So, I am damned grateful for Howard Dean.

[So am I. Dean means the destruction of the Democrats. YEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!]

Clark, Boxer, Conyers, Cuomo, and Dean. Take no prisoners!

[Take no votes!]

Thank you Howard Dean!!!! Dear God, what fantastic words to read this morning!!! I am so glad that SOMEONE is calling the rethugs on the carpet and NOT backing down. Holey Crickey!!! Bring it on, Dean! Bring it, on!!! When other Dems see for themselves that they won't melt, wither, die or be hated--for speaking the truth--maybe many others will follow suit. All you have to do is stand up to the bullies...that's all we've got to do. We've got the truth on our side--we just needed someone to start shouting it from the rafters!!!!!

[I don’t know about truth and rafters but Dean is certainly shouting from his padded cell…and judging from your post, you must be his cellmate.]

Keep punching the bullies in the mouth Howard! We've got your back! No surrender!

[No sanity!]

Keep swinging Howard...that's why we supported you...there is one one thing a bully understands...a Grade-A, top-to-bottom, bare-knuckle, no-holds barred, good old-fashioned ass kicking... I think Dr. Howard Dean is rolling up his sleeves and getting ready to REALLY open up a can of whup-ass in the repukelicans... Taking the high road ain't gonna get it done... Kicking them squarely in the bollocks will....

[I think one of his kicks caught you squarely in the head.]

The things that need to be said, things which shock even the most ardent free speech advocates among the Dem talking heads, can come from that brave soul and, while the Dems are tut-tutting and the berserkers are muttering and talking about "crazy, unloved Howard Dean," people are listening - including those for whom there is some hope of recovery. Howard Dean does, indeed, speak for me.

[Dean does, indeed, speak for you. Especially that “crazy” part.]

In light of experience, the berserkers will not go quietly; I expect some pretty nasty things to happen yet, given the thirty percent who will never, ever give up. They will go to their deaths proclaiming the essential rightness of selfishness, their dog-in-the-manger syndrome intact, never understanding their jobs, as human beings, include caring for those less fortunate. Such people don't realize that they don't, ultimately, own anything - even the very chemicals that fuel their bodies have made countless passes through millions of dinosaurs, monkeys, buffaloes, and, maybe, even Jesus the Christ!

[Apparently many of the chemicals that fuel your body has made many passes through vials of Lithium.]

Dean's responding EXACTLY as he should!!!!

[…Before the therapy sessions.]

Can't wait for Dean to punch Arnie the Terminator.

[Um…Dean might want to take a pass on that suggestion or it could be “Hasta la Vista, Baby!” for him.]

Keep it up, Dean! Thank you Howard! They have NOTHING! The GOP is so full of shit, they're incapable of telling the truth about ANYTHING.

[Speaking of telling the truth about ANYTHING… How is Scamdy’s recovery from his “pancreatic cancer” operation going?]

Time to rumble and play hardball! I think Dean is the best! Kick ass!

[Kick ass! The animal symbol of the Democrats.]

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-21-05 ("Durbin Caves")

Oh how the mighty have fallen. A few days ago the DUmmies were in ecstasy because Senator Dick DUrbin wouldn’t apologize for his idiotic remarks comparing the pampered treatment of the terrorist Gitmo detainees to prisoners of the Nazis and Soviets. However, much to their great anguish, Durbin has offered a sort of apology for his stupidity a few hours ago. It wasn’t much of an apology but it was enough to set off extreme DUmmie rage at their former hero, DUrbin, as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Durbin Caves.” As usual the DUmmie frustration as they rage against the reality of their own impotence is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, chuckling at the YET ANOTHER DUmmie Disaster, is in the [brackets]:

Durbin Caves--Repukies say it's only the beginning

[Yes, it’s only the BEGINNING of MANY DUmmie frustrations to come.]

on lou dobbs--they showed dick's apology on the Senate floor. the reporter said something like the repubs are now going to go after nancy pelosi and howard dean. thanks for setting such a good precedent. we stuck up for what you said, dick. we emailed & letter wrote in your defense.

[SNIFF! DUrbin has now been relegated to the DUmmie DUstbin.]

Why did he cave? What possible excuse could he have given? He had the truth on his side. DAMN!

[Only in the DUmmieland Dimension could comparing the treatment of the air conditioned Gitmo detainees to the prisoners of the Nazis or Soviets be considered to be the truth.]

There was and is no reason for us to apologize...for anything. The Republicans plan is to do ANYTHING, to cry victim over EVERYTHING, and tell the truth about NOTHING, to keep people distracted and misinformed. Dean, please, PUNCH THESE BASTARDS OUT!

[Stand by! Your rabies shot is on the way!]

I apologize that our government condones torture

[Is that you, Dick DUrbin?]

Anyone in Illinois want to run for Durbin's seat? Find a good candidate and I'll help you raise money. At some point we have to face reality and accept that some of our Dem leaders are beyond rehabilitation and need to be replaced. Wishing and hoping they'll eventually see the light of day isn't going to happen.

[Maybe you should send some of those suspect Democrats to Re-education Camps.]

He has no fight, no will, no courage. Issues are great, but only if you have the will to make them happen. If Durbin can't fight or learn to outmaneuver the GOP, what good is his stand on the issues?

[DUrbin is always good for laughs.]

You Want To Replace Durbin? DU'ers Officially Makes Me Sick. Never thought I'd see the day that this place and the people posting here would sink this low.

[Actually the DUmmies sink that low on a daily basis.]

Dean has already said he's going to be in the GOP's Face and call them on their bogus crap.

[Which reminds me. What are Dean’s visiting hours over at Happy Farms?]

Let's hope that no other dems will use nazi references in their speeches

[Yes. Let’s hope MORE Democrat careers are destroyed.]

When you apologize, you show them signs of weakness and they attack again and again and again.

[It sounds like you need an attack of sanity.]

hell.....why even have a party? we need another way to get screwed

[Then spend an enchanting evening with Barney Frank.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-21-05 ("Don't let them take the Hitler away from us!")

Senator Dick DUrbin has caught a lot of flack for his silly comparison of the well fed Gitmo terrorist detainees to the prisoners of the Nazis and the Soviets. The general consensus is that it is ALWAYS foolhardy to make comparisons of today’s America to the Nazi regime. Well, let me amend that to saying this is the general consensus everywhere EXCEPT in that asylum known as DUmmieland. In fact, the DUmmies seem to act like they have a proprietary interest in keeping the ability to make such absurd comparisons as can be seen in this THREAD titled, “Don't let them take the Hitler away from us!” It sounds like the DUmmies want copyright protection for using the Hitler comparisons. As usual the bizarre DUmmie comparisons are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, assuring the DUmmies that they can keep “the Hitler,” is in the [brackets]:

Don't let them take the Hitler away from us!

[Okay! Okay! And you can keep the Stalin and the Pol Pot if it makes you feel better.]

Think about it this way. I say ALL Hitler comparisons are valid. Hitler is the quintessential example that is seared into our memories of the insane corrupt power of totalitarianism. It represents the ultimate evil - deception of good intentions. Thus Hitler comparisons are an essential comparison. All it says is "let us not get on that hill of ice again".

[FUnnie but the one who fell down the slippery slope was Dick DUrbin for his dopey comparison of the air conditioned Gitmo detainees to the prisoners of the Nazis.]

If, as has been suggested on The Daily Show and Lou Dobbs, Hitler comparisons are out of order, then it disables the most powerful and obvious comparison.

[I’m all for DUrbin and DUmmies continuing to make fools of themselves.]

The victims of the Holocaust and those who fought totalitarian power have earned the right to reference Hilterm a right that is being lost because it has been distorted by the retort that nothing could be as bad as Hitler - "it's not as bad as the Holocaust". Well, the fact that is shrouded is that it was a slow but steady march into fascism. Hitler wasn't as bad as Hitler when he started. We as their progeny have inherited the DUTY of making comparisons to Hilter where ever we see them.

[Ah yes! Before the Bad Hitler there was the Better Hitler according to the DUmmies which they use to justify DUrbinizing themselves.]

As soon as they take away our abaility to associate with that memory, it enables them to repeat it.

[Perhaps you should copyright “the Hitler” and charge royalty payments from all those who make Dopey DUrbin type comparisons.]

So, no, I say this frog will remain ready to jump if the temperature increases only slightly. We need to respect the slope before we start the slipping.

[I say that frog needs to respect the temperature of the pot he is stewing in.]

Our situation now is comparable in many ways to Germany in the mid to late 30's. We need to recognize our situation for what it is, and prevent it from getting worse.

[Is that you, Dick DUrbin?]

I agree. Hitler should remind us that it can happen ANYWHERE. Germany was a nation which ELECTED its public servants, It was an EDUCATED nation, A WORLD LEADER in SCIENCE and INDUSTRY...And look what happened there. All it takes is some fear-mongering, a crappy economy, and a "leader" without a consciense. Oh yeah, and FLAGS. Lots of flags!

[Oh, yeah and FLAGS. I shudder in fear of the impending fascism every time I drive past a car lot.]

The Hitler stuff is not only valid but its true. The USA is occupied by the can callem busheviks ,BFEE,neo-cons, traitors BUT its a nazi occupation and all the insiders like Dobbs know it.!!

[It sounds like your body is occupied by the meds.]

It's the old duck thing. If it waddles like a duck and it quacks like a duck...etc. Loyality oaths. Fascism wrapped snugly in the flag. Snipping away our rights. Forcing their morality down our throat. If there is just a sliver of justification for comparison, then we ought to do just what we are doing, speaking up. We're stopping evil before it gets to the point that it did back then.

[And in your case it is the old Daffy Duck thing.]

I believe he is as bad a president as we have ever had, and I believe his contempt for working Americans (including our military folk) is both infinitely malicious and probably without precedent. But a more historically apt analogy is to some of our own (incipiently fascist) political bosses -- especially those who, in servitude to the ever-expanding greed of monopolist overlords, played off one minority against another in the interest of maximizing oppression and exploitation (just as Bush plays off Dominionist/Fundamentalist Christians against women and gays). And fascism does not inevitably a Hitler make. Think not Hitler but George Wallace, Bull Connor or even Robert K. Shelton -- the third name that of the Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan during the Civil Rights Movement years, the aptness of the comparison growing from the fact Bush and his followers are surely as hateful to gays as Shelton and his night-riders were to blacks.

[Don’t let them take the Shelton away from us!]

Monday, June 20, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 06-20-05 ("Kerry will really let the Swift Boat Vets have it any day now")

Sometimes just the titles alone of certain DUmmie threads can cause an incredible amount of laughter as is the case of this THREAD titled, “Kerry will really let the Swift Boat Vets have it any day now.” Admit it. You were already laughing just reading that title. The comments of the DUmmies on this thread are merely anticlimactic since the punchline has already been delivered from the get-go. However, despite getting our laughs from the outset, it is still amusing to read these DUmmie comments in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying a great punchline that comes at the beginning rather than the end, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry will really let the Swift Boat Vets have it any day now. Just trust me on this. Insider info. He's really gonna nail them good. Anyday now.

[Any day now it will happen. Right after Kerry is inaugurated as President on Jan. 20. Yeah, that’s when he is really going to nail those Swift Boat Vets good.]

My immediate impression, also. 'A day late and a dollar short' also came to mind.

[Timing is everything. And Kerry is way more than “a day late” on “nailing” the Swift Boat Vets.]

I'm Still Waiting .....and waiting...and waiting..ZZZZZZZZZ

[Your siesta will take a VERY LONG time. About as long as waiting for Kerry to be inaugurated as president.]

For the sake of this country...I really hope so!

[Nice try but the funniest line has already been delivered in the title of this thread.]

I heard he's gonna git a big stick and whup 'em upside the head.

[Yeah, as soon as he returns from Cambodia.]

Yeah, when his nursing home has a dodgeball game with theirs. He's really gonna let them have it, so they better watch out!

[They better watch out. Kerry is going to get them. Someday. Maybe.]

I sure wish that asshat would stop running for president. Maybe if he felt he had nothing to lose he would find the courage to act in the best interests of the country, and not his own ambitions.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]

It just seems to me that every couple of days we get a rash of "Kerry is really gonna get them" posts--and then, just like during the election (most noticeably beginning with the Swift Vets), he doesn't do a damned thing. The latest is his vow to really let bush have it over DSM.

[Yeah, that latter bit provided some great laughs for a recent DUFU edition.]

there are two possible explanations for Kerry's behavior he's so stupid he makes the bushturd look like a particle physicist OR he's complicit with the neocons to convince us (falsely) that this is still a democratic republic

[I like the explanation that Kerry is just plain stupid but I am open to the suggestion that he is a secret agent of Karl Rove.]

Looks more and more like a preprogrammed patsy than opposition to me.

[Preprogrammed by Karl Rove: “You WILL go out on the campaign trail and make yourself look like a complete shmuck!”]

I'm so disappointed in Kerry. I would never vote for him again. He's lost the very admirable fire he had during Vietnam. It'a shame he listened to the advice of the pansies at the DLC.

[How about losing that admirable fire he had when he was in Cambodia, an experience that is seared, SEARED into his memory from the time he was sent there during Christmas of 1968 by President Nixon?]

The DSM should be his number one goal

[Kerry will be as on top of the DSM as he was in refuting the Swift Boat Vets.]

do you think Kerry is providing positive, proactive leadership?

[Absolutely. Kerry will provide positive, proactive leadership any day now.]

180 took care of the Swiftees. They're toothless now.

[Yeah, Kerry signed his Form 180 and he will be actually SENDING it in any day now. Just look for Kerry’s secret hand signal that this will be happening.]