DUmmie FUnnies 06-24-05 ("Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors")

In the DUmmie Alternate Quantum Reality, not only is Al Gore still President as chronicled in our previous DUmmie FUnnies edition but Cuba is a WONDERFUL Workers Paradise. Yes, DUmmies actually believe that the quality of life in Castro’s Cuba is preferable to that in the USA as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors.” And how much did Cuba raise the salaries of their teachers and doctors? Read on and be amazed at the incredible generosity of Fidel Castro. So sit back, relax with some Havana Club rum which Castro never owned but still personally pocketed the money from its sale to a French company, and read this latest edition of DUmmie Love for Cuba. As usual the praises for Cuba by the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how much they pay humble correspondents in Cuba, is in the [brackets]:

Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors

[Ooooh! How wonderful! I can’t wait to read just how generous this raise in salaries was in the Workers Paradise.]

HAVANA (AP) - Cuba increased the salaries of its teachers, doctors and nurses, highlighting the importance the nation's communist government puts on its health and education sectors.

Workers in these fields will receive an average of 40 to 50 additional Cuban pesos a month, or the equivalent of about US$2 (euro1.7). The increase was to take affect July 1.

"It's very modest, and can be improved upon," President Fidel Castro said in a live televised address to announce the news Thursday.

[And don’t you be so modest, Fidel. This increase in salary of almost a dime a day is just too good to be true! I’m sure American doctors and teachers will be flocking to Cuba to get in on your generosity…especially if they are DUmmies. And speaking of DUmmies, let us now hear their reaction to this amazing increase in Cuban salaries…]

I'd never ever expect I'd be saying this: Cuba becoming more humane and civilized toward its workers while the US does the opposite... Yipes.

[So true, DUmmie HypnoToad. Castro is just too kind to his workers with that salary increase of almost a dime a day. And when does the DUmmie Boat head to Cuba so you all can enjoy that more humane and civilized place?]

The day is soon approaching when Americans get on rafts to flee to Cuba seeking freedom and democracy.

[Normally I would suspect this statement as coming from the sarcastic mouth of a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL but since it is kookie DUmmie IndianaGreen posting this, I can assure you that he actually DOES mean this which makes it even FUnnier.]

$2 a month more. $24 a year. Excuse me - I'm not impressed.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Stop reading the CANF propaganda! The Miami gusanos would love nothing more than to return to Cuba and replace the free health care with a US-style HMO. Do you call that progress? They will also bring all of their Republican ideology with them and proceed to rape and pillage their former compatriots, not to mention filling the Cuban airwaves with the putrid theology of fundamentalist Christianity!

[Thank you for setting the LOUSY FREEPER TROLL straight DUmmie IndianaGreen.]

So there up to what, 40 dollars a month?

[Yes, over a dollar a day! Life is BEAUTIFUL in Cuba!]

I'll take Cuba over Bush's budding gulag in America any day!

[Nobody is keeping you from leaving “Bush’s budding gulag” and moving to Cuba, DUmmie IndianaGreen.]

and most citizens live in squalor, cant speak out against the government and are so desperate to leave they make rafts out of 1950's Chevys risking DEATH to cross the 90 mile straight to reach Florida. Cuba is such a glorious place that people cant wait to drown in order to get out!

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Your tombstoning is coming soon!]

The people that flee Cuba are repeat fleers, that are trying to enter the US for the same perceived economic opportunities that motivate Mexicans to cross the border.

[And of course, DUmmie IndianaGreen, they soon learn how squalid life is in the USA compared to the Workers Paradise they escaped from.]

The value of money is VERY relative. In Cuba, this raise is significant. Not extravagant no, but significant.

[That extra dime a day (almost) goes soooo far in Cuba. Of course I am thinking if that extra dime were actually American money instead of in Cuban pesos.]

Doesn't Cuba have a higher literacy rate than the US? I swear I have read this a few places. Now that is something!

[Fantastic. Now the folks down there can spell “STARVATION.”]

They block reception of the American "exile" staffed and programmed propaganda tv station, Radio Marti from Miami. It's crap. We pay around $30,000,000.00 for the Miami right-wing extremists to create programing to send back to the same island where they're not welcome.

[Yes, those broadcasts from the States showing fully stocked supermarket shelves are nothing but a lot of right-wing propaganda.]

Also a lower infant mortality rate, a higher rate of AIDS survivors, a life expectancy that I believe just passed ours, etc etc.

[They have certainly cured the problem of obesity by making access to food very difficult.]