DUmmie FUnnies 06-22-05 ("Dean to GOP: In Your Face")

Few people are better than alienating large segments of the population than Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democrat National Committee. Oh, there are Democrats who give him stiff competition in the alienation department such as Hillary or Dick DUrbin but we must concede that Dean is in a class all by himself in his unique ability to self-destruct and take the rest of the Democrats down with him. For proof of this assertion, check out this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Dean to GOP: In Your Face.” Yes, we have all known over the top shmucks in our lives but Dean has taking the art of being an annoying shmuck to the national level. So speak on Dean. Although acting like a jerk will win you accolades in Dummieland, it will surely lean to the destruction of the Democrats just like it killed your candidacy early in the Iowa caucuses. As usual, the angry “in your face” rants by the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, stifling the urge to yell “YEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGHHH!!!” is in the [brackets]:

Dean to GOP: In Your Face

[GOP to Dean: Bring It On! But now let us read more about Dean’s perpetual Meltdown from this Salon article.]

If you were worried that the recent attacks on Howard Dean might have him cowed, you can rest easy this morning. In what the Boston Globe calls a defiant speech at a party fundraiser, Dean said yesterday that neither he nor the Democratic Party he leads is about to back down.

[I have never worried about Dean suffering from sanity.]

"We are going to be much tougher and in your face with the Republicans when they say things that aren't true," Dean told Democrats in Boston. He added: "We can't win if we don't fight."

[Will your “win” be as significant as your own “win” in the Iowa caucuses?]

Dean came under fire from Republicans and some members of his own party for saying that "a lot" of Republicans have "never made an honest living" and that the GOP is "pretty much a white Christian party." The browbeating and piling on reached a weird sort of apex last week when Vice President Dick Cheney -- whose name may bring to mind many things, "love" not being one of them -- said of Dean: "Maybe his mother loved him, but I've never met anybody who does." Monday in Boston, Dean responded: "I don't care if Dick Cheney likes my mother or not; we are going to fight back. I think it's great that Dick Cheney went after me. At least they know there's a Democratic Party that's not going to put up with this stuff anymore."

[Translation: “I have become such a shmuck that I am finally drawing attention to myself. YEEEEAAAAGGGHHHH!!!” …And now the comedy lines switch over to the DUmmies…]

Go, Howard! This man is the Pit Bull of the Democratic Party.

[More like the Pitt feeding the Bull of the Democrat Party.]

This Party needs Pit Bulls! Aren't you tired of the gutless wonders, the mealy-mouthed appeasers, the whimpering apologists, and the cowardly, cover-thier-asses equivocators who just worry about their viability? I am. So, I am damned grateful for Howard Dean.

[So am I. Dean means the destruction of the Democrats. YEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!]

Clark, Boxer, Conyers, Cuomo, and Dean. Take no prisoners!

[Take no votes!]

Thank you Howard Dean!!!! Dear God, what fantastic words to read this morning!!! I am so glad that SOMEONE is calling the rethugs on the carpet and NOT backing down. Holey Crickey!!! Bring it on, Dean! Bring it, on!!! When other Dems see for themselves that they won't melt, wither, die or be hated--for speaking the truth--maybe many others will follow suit. All you have to do is stand up to the bullies...that's all we've got to do. We've got the truth on our side--we just needed someone to start shouting it from the rafters!!!!!

[I don’t know about truth and rafters but Dean is certainly shouting from his padded cell…and judging from your post, you must be his cellmate.]

Keep punching the bullies in the mouth Howard! We've got your back! No surrender!

[No sanity!]

Keep swinging Howard...that's why we supported you...there is one one thing a bully understands...a Grade-A, top-to-bottom, bare-knuckle, no-holds barred, good old-fashioned ass kicking... I think Dr. Howard Dean is rolling up his sleeves and getting ready to REALLY open up a can of whup-ass in the repukelicans... Taking the high road ain't gonna get it done... Kicking them squarely in the bollocks will....

[I think one of his kicks caught you squarely in the head.]

The things that need to be said, things which shock even the most ardent free speech advocates among the Dem talking heads, can come from that brave soul and, while the Dems are tut-tutting and the berserkers are muttering and talking about "crazy, unloved Howard Dean," people are listening - including those for whom there is some hope of recovery. Howard Dean does, indeed, speak for me.

[Dean does, indeed, speak for you. Especially that “crazy” part.]

In light of experience, the berserkers will not go quietly; I expect some pretty nasty things to happen yet, given the thirty percent who will never, ever give up. They will go to their deaths proclaiming the essential rightness of selfishness, their dog-in-the-manger syndrome intact, never understanding their jobs, as human beings, include caring for those less fortunate. Such people don't realize that they don't, ultimately, own anything - even the very chemicals that fuel their bodies have made countless passes through millions of dinosaurs, monkeys, buffaloes, and, maybe, even Jesus the Christ!

[Apparently many of the chemicals that fuel your body has made many passes through vials of Lithium.]

Dean's responding EXACTLY as he should!!!!

[…Before the therapy sessions.]

Can't wait for Dean to punch Arnie the Terminator.

[Um…Dean might want to take a pass on that suggestion or it could be “Hasta la Vista, Baby!” for him.]

Keep it up, Dean! Thank you Howard! They have NOTHING! The GOP is so full of shit, they're incapable of telling the truth about ANYTHING.

[Speaking of telling the truth about ANYTHING… How is Scamdy’s recovery from his “pancreatic cancer” operation going?]

Time to rumble and play hardball! I think Dean is the best! Kick ass!

[Kick ass! The animal symbol of the Democrats.]