Friday, October 12, 2012

The Biden Bounce: Smirkin' Joe Crazier thrills the DUmmies!


Arrogant, condescending, rude, obnoxious, smug, smirking, snarky, disrespectful: No wonder the DUmmies loved him! Who am I talking about? Smirkin' Joe Crazier, of course. Joe the Jackass. Joker Joe. Smirky the Jerk. In other words, Joe Biden, the Vice President of United States, who made a complete ass of himself last night. It wasn't the gaffes this time, it was the laughs--and the grins, and the eye-rolls, and the interruptions, and the dismissive, derisive comments. . . . In short, everything you're taught NOT to do in junior-high debate club, the nearly 70-year-old Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr., in political office for 40 years, did last night.

Who came off as the mature one last night? 42-year-old Paul Ryan, who kept his cool and tried to make serious points about serious subjects. By contrast, Biden the boorish buffoon came off as an immature punk.

But the DUmmies lapped it up. They thought Joe PWNED Ryan! They loved it! Little do they realize, though, that such boorish behavior TURNS OFF most decent Americans, especially the voters the Democrats need the most: independents, undecideds, and (gasp) women. Joe's act may play well with the MSNBC crowd, but if the DUmmies think there's going to be a Biden Bounce, they're sadly mistaken. Besides, VP debates rarely move the needle.

We will get the DUmmie reaction from their five official debate threads, beginning with this THREAD, "******OFFICIAL BIDEN/RYAN DEBATE THREAD #1******"

So let us now go to one of the few places that was NOT disgusted with Biden's boorishness, i.e., DUmmieland, in Boorshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who literally does sponsor a debate club at his daughter's school, is in the [brackets]:

******OFFICIAL BIDEN/RYAN DEBATE THREAD #1******

[No, the asterisks are not hiding DUmmie "F"-words this time. They're actual asterisks.]

I see the look in Biden's eye. He's ready to pounce. . . .

[First the pounce, then the bounce! The Biden Bounce!]

He's loaded for bear. . . .

[I think they loaded Joe up on Red Bull before the debate.]

He looks like a shark.

[He looks like a snark.]

"Malarkey!" Go, Joe!

[Snarky! Go, Joe! Keep doing that!]

JOE STOMPS ON RYAN'S FACE!!!!

[The DUmmies think they're watching a wrestling match, and they're cheering for the villainous "heel" against the virtuous "face."]

He is kicking ass. Love the expressions on his face while Ryan is blathering.

[How to Win Friends and Influence People--NOT!]

Don't smile so hard, Joe. . . . Joe is laughing a bit too hard. It does not look good to me.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I worry he's laughing too much. He laughs when he is ready to pounce. But how will indies view it?

[Nonsense! Who needs 'em anyway?]

"This is a bunch of stuff" LMAO! GO JOE

[Stay classy, Joe!]

Joe's WTF looks are absolutely priceless.

[Turning off independents, undecideds, and women by the boatloads--and it's absolutely FREE! Thanx, Joe!]

HOLY SH*T . . . UNLEASH THE BIDEN

[JERKULES UNCHAINED!]

i think he's laughing too much. people out there may think it's disrespectful. . . .

[Naah! Not a chance!]

Bidengasm!

[Joe closes the Arousal Gap.]

Joe needs to cut down on the open laughing a little bit makes a point, too much is over the top.

[NO! There can never be enough!]

Joe needs to quit smirking - it's not professional. . . .

[SHHH!!! STOP! QUIET! KEEP IT UP, JOE!]

Mr president, THIS IS HOW YOU RAPID RESPOND TO BS!

[Joe heads up the Democrats' Rabid Response Team.]

I love his straight forward demeanor.

[Da meaner demeanor.]

I can hear the RW critics now; "Joe was RUUUUUUDE!"

[Actually, that's what just about every analyst and focus group in America said after the debate.]

This is a master class in debating. . . .

[Joe is master-debating right there on national TV.]

Joe Biden is qualified to be president . . .

[. . . of the Obnoxious Jerks of America Society.]

I hope that is the take away from this for the average viewer.

[No, I think the "take away" from this will be that . . . they're coming to take Joe away, ha ha . . . to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time. . . .]

I'm not a guy but I have a boner right now. . . .

[Is that you, Rachel Madcow?]

SOMEONE needs to "blow their top" show some passion or SOMETHING!!!

[Watch out! Joe is blowing his top! The plugs are becoming unplugged! Duck!]

Joe does seem to get so angry all he can do is smile and laugh at him- which is unprofessional and rude but at least it is emotion.

[Unprofessional and rude--a SURE way to win over those undecideds! Let the Biden Bounce begin!]

- - - - - - - - - -

BONUS PARODY!



JOEY, SMIRKY
Tune:
"Joey"

Joey, Smirky,
Don't be so jerky;
Eye-rolls, faces,
You are abrasive.


I know you think you can debate,
And though you think you're really great,
I just sit by and let you
Search for nerves to grate.


And though I used to wonder why--
I thought that maybe you were high--
Now sometimes I think it's
That your brain is fried.


Oh, Joey, if you're smirkin', that is why.

Joey, dummy,
What is so funny?
Does unemployment
Give you enjoyment?


And if you mean to be so rude--
I guess you think you're being shrewd--
But if you think of who viewed,
Well, I guess you may be screwed.


Because it really doesn't work,
The folks are turned off by your smirk;
The people out there don't care
For a stupid jerk.


Oh, Joey, please be smirky all the more!

(Shiny dental break)

And if you mean to be so rude--
I guess you think you're being shrewd--
But if you think of who viewed,
Well, I guess you may be screwed.


Because the people that you irk,
Well, those are votes you shouldn't shirk;
The people out there don't care
For a stupid jerk.


Oh, Joey, please be smirky all the more!

Smirky all the more . . .

Smirky all the more . . .

9 Comments:

Anonymous Liptonius said...

“If you read the transcript, I think it’s dead even. If you heard it on radio, Biden won. If you watched it on television, he lost.”

Charles Krauthammer - Fox contributor.

All right! Raise you hands if you're a transcript reader or radio debate listener!

I'm bettin' that the T(transcript)/R(radio)/TV ratio (the new T/R/TV breakout) is about 1/3/96

Biden boned it. Boned it good.

Thanks, Joe!

5:56 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

I'm surprised Ol' Joe didn't hold up a hand mirror to his face, start laughing and then smash the mirror.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

Leave it to the DUmmies to mistake Joe's grimaces, rudeness, condescension and lies as debating skills.

...and his teeth, WTF? The looked like Chicklets.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I HAD to listen on the radio .... was on the road ..... then I watched it the next day
on DVR ... really changed my mind ....
didn't change my vote .... I am STILL voting against the Iwon and FOR R/R ...
most declared undecided ppl I have talked to like Ryan and hated Slo-Jo ....

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe's performance was specifically for the "tin foil hat crowd", the kind of psychotic behaviour that asylum escapees like the DUmmies drink up but that causes sane people to call the cops on them.

O's campaign has given up courting swing voters and are now in Desperation Mode trying to motivate their base to get out and vote. And when cattle-prodding your base is the best you can hope for, you might as well throw in the towel.

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Anonymous said...

Joe's performance was specifically for the "tin foil hat crowd", the kind of psychotic behavior that asylum escapees like the DUmmies drink up but that causes sane people to call the cops on them.


In that case that noise I heard was the physic sonic boom from Troglaman The Guttersnipe power-slamming his head up his ass at Mach 6 in unbridled joy over Clueless Joe reenforcing his fantasy universe visions.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous The JUDGE said...

I see Troglatwit, the worthless son of a worthless fucking bastard, hasn't been around lately...he must have wash down more LSD with fifths Old Crow than usual. That worthless son of a worthless fucking bastard would be a lot less of a worthless son of a worthless fucking bastard if he'd put down the Old Crow and grow some backbone.

But that's probably just a pipe dream since he is such a worthless son of a worthless fucking bastard.

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must have missed something. I know it was from a previous DuFu but what is an "L Pill"?

4:11 PM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

The L-Pill is also known as a "suicide pill". Presumably Francis Gary Powers had one and refused to take it after being shot down which got a lot of folks pissed at him.

I note Troglafuck hasn't taken his either much to everyone's sadness.

12:07 AM  

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