Saturday, October 27, 2012

Our Second Time with Lena Dunham


In yesterday's DUFU, we introduced you to a young woman named Lena Dunham, an obscure actress who cut an ad for the Obama campaign called "Your First Time." In the video, Ms. Dunham glowingly compares voting for Barack with being deflowered by him. Unbelievable. And so this thing went viral faster than a herpes outbreak. People couldn't believe Team Obama would actually want voters to see this. But apparently they do. I thought for a while that, because of the widespread (no pun intended) negative reaction, they had pulled the video. But today, at least, the YouTube VIDEO is still there. You would think it would cause Obama some electile dysfunction, but surprisingly, it has stayed up longer than four hours.

Yesterday there had not been much reaction yet from the DUmmies, just a few positive comments on one out-of-the-way thread. But now, because of the buzz the video created, we have more grist for our DUnham FUnnies mill. We'll start with this THREAD, "Conservatives flip out over Lena Dunham Obama ad," and check out a couple of other threads, as well.

So let us now have our way with Lena Dunham and the DUmmies for a second time, in Are You Ready Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, hoping that Lena campaigning with her lady parts will turn off as many voters as Hurricane Sandy talking about her birth-control pills, is in the [Barackets]:

Conservatives flip out over Lena Dunham Obama ad

["Lena Dunham OBAMA"?? You mean Barry did the right thing and MARRIED the poor girl? He made an honest woman of her? Well, he ought to, after he used her and humiliated her so with that video.]

[The thread starts out with a couple of caricatures of conservative reaction . . .]

Lock up your virgins! There’s a dark-skinned, middle-aged man coming for them!

[Binders full of virgins.]

Barack Obama, like a droit du seigneur-rocking feudal lord or Kurdish chieftain, “has asked for your daughters.” Your innocent, probably white, virgin daughters, ravished by that hymen-lusting brute in the White House.

[Every time he goes to Hymentown, that's all he wants to talk about.]

[Then the DUmmies comment on the Lena Dunham video itself. . .]

Can't stand her.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Does the average 20 yr. old who DOESN'T have a trust fund and/or live in Brooklyn even know who she is?

[They do now! She's now known as Lena the Tattooed Lady Part, Lena the Queen of Taboo!]

But if it helps, then fine.

[The end justifies the moans.]

I know who she is and I don't even watch HBO's Girls.

[All 300 million of us who don't watch HBO's Girls now know who Leapin' Lena is!]

Girls is honest, smart, funny, and brutally honest to the point of cringe-inducing.

[I believe the cringe-inducing part.]

The women in it have full lives that don't revolve around the men in the show. They have ambition, they have sex, they drink, take drugs, they fail, they succeed. Like real people.

[Like real men-hating, slutty, drunken, drugged-out, female failures everywhere. You know, your average Democrat.]

It is very popular with young women, especially the ones in my household, and many kids who can't afford HBO but sure know how to steal it off the internet.

[They've seen "Steal Tutorials."]

I wonder if she is a distant cousin of Obama.

[Not so distant, apparently. Ms. Dunham is more like a kissin' cousin.]

Meh, I think it's kinda creepy. . . .

[Creepy, crappy, and clappy.]

I really don't want any implications of sex scandals, even comedically and fictional, tied to our politicians.

[This, from a DEMOCRAT????]

I thought the ad was cute, as was the young woman. She's not a cousin or anything is she?

She's the star of the HBO hit show, Girls.

[It's such a hit, nobody knows about it. It's that cool.]

Lena Dunham is adorable. . . .

[Calm down, Rachel! You'll get your turn.]

when I first saw it I cringed inside. I knew the backlash and I know this type of thing will turn off some women.

[Is this your first time winning a Kewpie Doll, DUmmie justiceischeap? I think it is! Congratulations! You are no longer a Kewpie virgin.]

Why isn't the endorsement from the writer, producer, director, and actress from Girls not on the Greatest Threads?

[It is . . . on all the Republican sites! Hee! Hee! It's a real-life Obie-and-Lena joke!]

She reminds me of a new age Liberal.

[She reminds me of a sewage Labial.]

Lena Dunham is an acting, writing, and directing GENIUS . . . .

[You mean she's a secret Rethuglican operative? Brilliant! It's working!]

- - - - - - - - - -

BONUS PARODY:

LENA, THE TATTOOED LADY
Tune: "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady"

Ah, Lena!
She was the most hilarious creature
Spinning or spun.
Fluke! Garofalo! Maddow!
Rolled into one . . .


Ohhh . . .
Lena, oh Lena,
Say, have you met Lena,
Lena, the tattooed lady!
She supports Barack Obama,
Wants to be his baby mama.


Lena, oh Lena,
She votes her vageena,
Oh Lena, the queen of tattoo!
On her back is a tat of her name on DU,
Beside it a list of the libs that she'd do,
And with it a map of her lady parts, too--
You can learn a lot from Lena!


La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

When her vote is deflowered,
She will feel so empowered,
It will reach to infinity.
For a Dem she will yield
Out on love's battlefield--
She's wishing to lose her virginity.


La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lena, oh Lena,
Say, have you met Lena,
Oh Lena, the tattooed lady!
Barack was in a downward spiral,
Till she started going viral.


Lena, oh Lena,
Would do an arena
Of lib'rals--yes, she'd do them all!
For starters she'll kiss a Mikulski named Babs,
If he's out of Viagra, she'll let Reid do some grabs,
And on a queer day she'll rub Barney Frank's abs--
You can earn a lot from Lena!


La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Come along and see Lena first leaning forward,
Then comes Barack and she's soon bending backward.
Here is Lena Dunham adoring her King of Hearts,
Here's Obama exploring her lady parts.


La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Here is little Lena recleanin' her downstairs,
Over at the White House they're looking at timeshares.
Here's Lewinsky a-doin' the wayback,
Here is Lena now doin' the swayback.


La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

Oh Lena, oh Lena,
Would do Argentina
To get Barry back in this fall!
She once slept with Texas to get out the vote,
A phallus in Dallas made her boat start to float,
But Mr. Obama had better not gloat--
They're no longer polling Lena!


31 Comments:

Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

The women in it have full lives that don't revolve around the men in the show. They have ambition, they have sex, they drink, take drugs, they fail, they succeed. Like real people.

ROFL.....
ROFL.....

From what I understand, they're all unemployed.

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is a full life for a democrat voter, can't let a lousy thing like a job get in the way of all that partying and fornication my tax dollars help pay for

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been thinking that I'd heard this 'voter-virginity' thing somewhere before. Turns out, I had -- "When you do it for the first time, do it for love" was a campaign ad run by Nicaraguan Communist Daniel Ortega in 1990.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

Dont' lose your job because of an unwanted Presidency, practice Obama abstinence.

4:01 PM  
Anonymous Scotty G. said...

That's right young ladies, don't worry your pretty little heads about complicated stuff like the economy, unemployment, dead public servants and soldiers, drone strikes, bankrupt green energy companies, the price of gas and energy, college tuition or getting a job anytime soon. That's for the menfolk to think about. You just keep having unprotected sex and demanding rich people pay for the concequences. We know you can't control the demands of your vagina and we don't expect you to. Just keep looking cute, puttin' out, and leave the real issues to the guys.

4:35 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Tee hee hee! Math is hard!

9:44 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Oh you just know KayInMaines' vagina's gonna be hopping mad at this article.

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Tom said...

Mr. Corona, proper English please.

Math BE hard!

11:46 PM  
Anonymous KayInMaine said...

FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!

12:23 AM  
Blogger jmcenanly said...

Ms Dunham is a legitimate actress, however she generally gives the the 'blink twice and you'll miss her' sort of performance.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2501633/

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW, if you want to enjoy the sweet, sweet tears of the Dummies on Election Night, you'd better sign up for an account now.

Remember, DU closed the board to outsiders after Kerry lost in 2004, so that they could mourn in private or something...

7:08 PM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

"In the video, Ms. Dunham glowingly compares voting for Barack with being deflowered by him."

So this is the Sluts For Obama" campaign?

8:10 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"From what I understand, they're all unemployed." jarhead

Here's the 'they' jarhead was referring to..."They have ambition, they have sex, they drink, take drugs, they fail, they succeed. Like real people."

And from what jarhead understands, they're all unemployed.

What brings you to this conclusion, jarhead? Never mind. Why? Because you're a fucking idiot. There's nothing you can say that will support the notion that everyone who has "...ambition, they have sex, they drink, take drugs, they fail, they succeed. Like real people" is unemployed. It's ridiculous.

You'll believe it anyway. You're delusional.

Any of you living in Sandy's path...take care. My wife's family lives in the cross-hairs. They live in southeastern PA. My brother-in-law says he's never experienced more than 7 hours without power. His cherry's about to be popped.

This storm's going to be a humdinger.

10:11 PM  
Anonymous envisio said...

"""A guy who cares whether you get health insurance, and specifically whether you get birth control.""""

You mean women cannot get birth control? WOW. I did not know that. I thought for sure I saw rows and rows of condoms at the Walgreens yesterday.
And I did not know that doctors stop prescribing the pill or the hickydoo that women lodge up in their lady parts.
This is news to me.

OOOHHH oh I see. You mean FREEEEE birth control. I get it.

Well in that case, I want free stuff too. Maybe some free bicep muscle implants or free weiner enlargement.

I WANT FREE STUFF!! VOTE FOR HUSSEIN FOR FREE STUFF!

8:45 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

KayInMaine said...
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!

12:23 AM

Master debator KayInSane chimes in. That reminded me of a mental ward where all the patients are busying themselves quietly when all of a sudden a lone soul from the back corner bursts out:
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!

"Settle down KayInSane and play with you poop quietly."

8:50 AM  
Blogger Ogrrre said...

"Well in that case, I want free stuff too. Maybe some free bicep muscle implants or free weiner enlargement."
Not me, Envisio. I want the government to give me a "free" M1 Garand, a "free" AR-15, and lots and lots of "free" ammo for both.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

Hey Troglafuck, you lying racist fucked up fucking fuckwad, the KayInMaine Clone is shouting at you.

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ogrrre: Gotta be a mexican druglord to get those. Sorry, you get a free condom.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Ogrrre said...

Damn!

9:34 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"OOOHHH oh I see. You mean FREEEEE birth control. I get it." flatscreen

Free birth control is cheaper than free pregnancy's. Free birth control reduces abortion rates.

Who's idea do you think this was, you speckle of cognitive dissonance? It was the insurance company's idea. Paying for birth control PREVENTED paying a thousand times more for babies.

Is this too complicated a notion for you? It was good for profits. It was good for shareholders. You fuckers are usually all about this shit.

You want to make this into a chick, while cruising the aisles at WalMart, deciding to stick the $15.00 (Trojan Pleasure Pack) bill to the tax-payer by using her insurance or, God forbid, Planned Parenthood.

Why don't you look up the cost of a year's worth of birth control compared to the cost of a pregnancy. And then tell me what's more cost effective.

Instead you create another Sheniqua, or whatever her name was.

You're a fucking drama-clown ("OOOHHH oh I see. You mean FREEEEE birth control).

12:12 AM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

"Free birth control is cheaper than free pregnancy's."

What, you can't afford condoms, you reactionary fascist fucktard?

So you're unemployed,too.

Gotcha.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"What, you can't afford condoms, you reactionary fascist fucktard? So you're unemployed,too. Gotcha." TANSTAAFL

Concluding that I'm a fascist fucktard and that I'm unemployed is NOT a gotcha. Why? Because you you're wrong on both accounts. You make shit up. You're a story teller.

Cheap birth-control reduces unwanted pregnancy's and abortions. Anyone one of you stupid fuckers that wishes to dispute this...be my guest. I'll rip you up. This is fact.

Astonishingly, this stark reality is just too big for you monkey-brains to get your head around. Why? Because you unbelievably moronic toadstools are simply pole axed by what must be a a painful, indecipherable concept - reality.

You almost seem to make a conscious decision to avoid it...especially if it's unavoidably true. Indisputably true.

Why is it that I, troglaman, a simple yet likable Neanderthal, am able to figure this out and you can't? Hmmm.

Who's evolving now, motherfuckers?

12:04 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Someone tell me one thing, ONE THING, that the Mittwit hasn't flip-flopped on. His wife's name doesn't count.

I don't know how any of YOU know where he stands...about anything.

Tell me why I'm a dumbshit for seeing it that way. Tell me where the mittwit stands.

Bet you can't.

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

TROGLAMAN - The Sick Perverted Clone of William Rivers Pitt - angrily power-slammed his head repeatedly up his ass at Mach speed while chugging liter after liter of straight EVERCLEAR and howling like a mad dog as he produced the following piles of worthless mental excrement:

"Concluding that I'm a fascist fucktard and that I'm unemployed is NOT a gotcha. Why? Because you you're wrong on both accounts. "


No, he's dead right on the first part, Guttersnipe, and you can power-slam your head up your ass all you want and howl like a mad dog until the cows come home and it won't change that fact. Based on your behavior, I'm willing to bet the second part is right as well as I can't think of a single job that could utilize someone like you - a deranged hate-mongering lying jackass - except perhaps as a menial laborer in a sewage treatment plant.

"Cheap birth-control reduces unwanted pregnancy's and abortions. " - Troglaman The Anti-American Guttersnipe

True enough...the problem you refuse to face or acknowledge is your idea of cheap is stealing someone else's money through taxation to pay for someone who acts like you to have it for free. There is already cheap birth control, you can get it at any drug store or Wal-Mart. But you'll have to pay for it and you and your ilk think that's wrong. Which of course makes you and your ilk a bunch of stupid idiotic crooked thieving fools.

"Astonishingly, this stark reality is just too big for you monkey-brains to get your head around. Why? Because you unbelievably moronic toadstools are simply pole axed by what must be a a painful, indecipherable concept - reality.

You almost seem to make a conscious decision to avoid it...especially if it's unavoidably true. Indisputably true." - Troglaman The Guttersnipe as he power-slams his head up his ass at Mach 15


You've finally done it - crossed the line into permanent insanity, Guttersnipe.

For you of all people to try to lecture ANYONE about reality is laughable. You wouldn't know reality, Guttersnipe, if the word were carved in to an ironwood two by four and someone belted you in the mouth with it. You only find some brief merging with reality by sheer accident. You haven't faced reality or lived in the real world for over four years and now that your fantasy world is about to be crushed like an empty beer can forcing you to finally face reality, you're scared shitless. And you DARE try to lecture us on dealing with reality you worthless fool?

Spare us your sanctimony you sniveling linguini-spined coward.


"Why is it that I, troglaman, a simple yet likable Neanderthal, am able to figure this out and you can't? Hmmm.

Who's evolving now....?" - Troglaman The Guttersnipe as he continues to power-slam his head up his ass


Because Guttersnipe, you're a simpleton and not likeable under even the most generous of situations. What's likeable about a vicious lying hate-mongering bastard like you, Guttersnipe? Nothing whatsoever, that's what.

And you're trying to replace intellect with the ability to power-slam your head up your ass again. You haven't figured out anything because you're not mentally capable of it, Guttersnipe.

And you sure as hell ain't evolving...


"Someone tell me one thing, ONE THING, that Romney hasn't flip-flopped on." - Troglaman as he continues to power-slam his head up his ass

That's easy, Guttersnipe...that your personal god, The Obamassiah, is a lousy excuse for a President.

2:12 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

Jerome Goolsby...

Yeah, what he said!

Troglofaggot don't understand the meaning of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. Its a mentality that just does not exist in a liberal's mind. You can't explain it to the welfare sodomites. Its like trying to explain colors to a blind person. They just cannot comprehend.
Sure, birth control is cheaper than pregnancy. Nobody is disputing that.
SO here's the difference in the liberal mind and the conservative mind.
A liberal counts on everyone else for everything they need. A liberal knows birth control is cheaper, so they threaten to bombard the medical industry with pregnancy bills if someone doesn't GIVE them birth control. They never had any intention of paying for anything.
A conservative also knows birth control is cheaper than pregnancy. Having PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, the conservative will go buy birth control because they know it will cost them less than a pregnancy if they are not ready to have a child. The conservative knows all along that they will be the one fitting the bill so they fix it for themselves.
The liberal always looks to someone else to pay the bill so they scream "give me free stuff now or I'll cost you more later"

See the difference? The narrative and the facts haven't changed. The conservative takes responsibility for their lives. The liberal wants (expects) someone else to do it.

This is the conservative stance on this issue.-----
Yes birth control is cheaper. So go buy some.
Its really not that complicated.

9:16 AM  
Anonymous lester liberalmann said...

*Shakes left fist* All Fired UP!
*Shakes right fist* Ready To Go!
*Shakes left fist* All Fired UP!
*Shakes right fist* Ready To Go!
*Shakes left fist* All Fired UP!
*Shakes right fist* Ready To Go!
*Shakes left fist* All Fired UP!
*Shakes right fist* Ready To Go!
*Shakes left fist* All Fired UP!
*Shakes right fist* Ready To Go!


*Screams and Points* FOWARD!

1:41 PM  
Anonymous The Phantom Stranger said...

The Troglaman is a truly sick and perverted being. It is completely disconnected from reality. It belongs in some secure facility heavily medicated to insure it harms no one else including itself.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"True enough...the problem you refuse to face or acknowledge is your idea of cheap is stealing someone else's money through taxation to pay for someone who acts like you to have it for free." Mr. Stinkwagon

No, you're wrong. The insurance companies wanted to give it away. It didn't have ANYTHING to do with stealing or taxation. It was a calculated decision to make money. They're STILL willing to do it. The money doesn't come from stealing or taxation, it comes from the willing hands of the insurance companies. From their profits. It doesn't cost you a thing except your insurance premium. Birth control is exponentially cheaper than pregnancies and abortion. Providing birth control drastically reduces pregnancies and abortion.

So if it has nothing to do with stealing or taxation and everything to do with reducing unwanted pregnancies and abortions...and making lots of money (talk about stealing)...what's left to be pissed off about, Mr. Stinkwagon?

You'll find something. No doubt about that.

Any of you pouting about about Cristie's Obama praise?

*News Update*

The mittwit is now promising FEMA shall be fully funded. This wasn't his position until today.

I don't know how anyone can decipher what this guy believes about anything.

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

TROGLAMAN - The Sick Perverted Clone of William Rivers Pitt - power-slammed his head up his ass and howled the following...

"No, you're wrong. The insurance companies wanted to give it away. It didn't have ANYTHING to do with stealing or taxation. It was a calculated decision to make money. They're STILL willing to do it. The money doesn't come from stealing or taxation, it comes from the willing hands of the insurance companies. From their profits. It doesn't cost you a thing except your insurance premium. Birth control is exponentially cheaper than pregnancies and abortion. Providing birth control drastically reduces pregnancies and abortion.

So if it has nothing to do with stealing or taxation and everything to do with reducing unwanted pregnancies and abortions...and making lots of money (talk about stealing)...what's left to be pissed off about, Jerome (who compared to I, the mightily pathetic Troglaman, looks like Albert Freaking Einstein)?"


Huh? What the hell? The only person pissed off is YOU, Guttersnipe.

First you howl like a maniac while power-slamming your head up your ass that every woman in the country should have FREE birth control but the evil insurance companies were screwing it up and now you say the exact opposite howling the insurance companies want to pay for birth control.

You're insane...absolutely crazy.

Thanks for showing everyone why you can't hold a coherent discussion. You're either saying something totally crazy or (like in this case) you're so damn busy arguing with yourself you can't talk to anyone else.

Good Lord you're stupid....

2:11 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"but the evil insurance companies were screwing it up" stinkwagon

The insurance companies would rather pay for birth control than for babies. They weren't evil and they weren't screwing it up.

Who do you think will ultimately pay for unwanted pregnancies, stinkwagon?

The answer's you and me. So we can all pay for birth control, or we can all pay for more unwanted pregnancies and abortions at 1000 times the cost of the pill. There's the choice.

You support '1000 times the cost' and I support birth control. Simple as that, jackass.

2:59 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Still scared shitless by reality and unable to deal with the real world, TROGLAMAN - The Sick Perverted Clone of William Rivers Pitt - angrily power-slammed his head repeatedly up his ass and produced the following mindless bullshit...

"Who do you think will ultimately pay for unwanted pregnancies, Jerome (who compared to me, the mightly pathetic Troglaman, looks like Albert Freaking Einstein)?

The answer's you and me. So we can all pay for birth control, or we can all pay for more unwanted pregnancies and abortions at 1000 times the cost of the pill. There's the choice."


Bullshit.

That's not the choice and if you weren't such an intellectually vapid morally corrupt fool, you'd know that.

No one should be paying for it other than the man or the woman involved except for very rare medical situations. The insurance companies don't need to unless there's a medical condition and the public sure as hell NEVER needs to.

You walk into a store, you buy what you need in almost every case. No need for insurance, no need for everyone else to have their tax money stolen to "give it away". And the fact you're neither intellectually or morally capable of comprehending this doesn't negate it no matter how often or how fast you can power-slam your head up your ass, you hate-mongering moral coward.


"You support '1000 times the cost' and I support birth control. Simple as that, jackass." - TROGLAMAN THE GUTTERSNIPE, proudly slamming his head up his ass like a piston to replace coherent thought and intellect.

You're a liar and a fool, Guttersnipe. You need to find someone who isn't smarter than you to try this crap on. Good luck finding a child who won't scream at the sight of your presence to bully around you perverted flaming asshole.

10:38 AM  

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