Gloria Poetry for an October Surmise: "Allreddy Bomb"

Gloria Allred has a BOMBSHELL that's she's about to drop on Mitt Romney! Yes, Gloria has an October Surprise up her sleeve that will cause Romney to leave the race--or at least lose it. That's the word on the street these past few days.

BTW, you all know Gloria Allred, don't you? She's the hag who makes Nancy Pelosi seem almost human. Gloria is the attention-whore attorney who's always taking up some celebrity case/leftist cause. And now she's promising an earth-shaking revelation that will ensure that the Mittster loses to the Bamster.

DUmmieland caught wind of this rumor on Thursday, as we see in this THREAD, "Does Gloria Allred Have The Rumored 'October Surprise?'" And they've been discussing the coming Allred Bombshell ever since. We'll sample from several threads to bring you up to date.

But first, as the excitement and anticipation mounts, let's join the DUmmies in singing this piece of Gloria Poetry:

ALLREDDY BOMB
Tune: "Already Gone"
Well, I heard some people talkin' just the other day
And they said Gloria's gonna knock Mitt for a loop
And let me tell ya, she's got some news that's new
And we'll soon find out it's true
And then he'll have to leave the race due to her scoop

It's an Allreddy bomb
She will drop on Rom
We will sing this vict'ry song
Woo hoo hoo, bye bye, woo hoo hoo

The threat that is Mitt Romney made me weep and want to die
And I guess I felt like the future wasn't bright
But October, Miss Allred--well, it took us by surprise
Though we're in a tunnel, now we see the light . . . that's right

It's an Allreddy bomb
She will drop on Rom
We will sing this vict'ry song
Woo hoo hoo, bye bye, woo hoo hoo . . .

Well, I know it won't be long the polls are down
Heaven knows, it won't be truth that sets us free
So often times it happens that we look for hope and change
And we never even know we have the key

You'll see an Allreddy bomb
She will drop on Rom
We will sing this vict'ry song
'Bout an Allreddy bomb

Yes, an Allreddy bomb
She will drop on Rom
We will sing this vict'ry song
'Bout an Allreddy bomb

Yes, an Allreddy bomb
Allreddy bomb, alright, nighty night
Allreddy bomb
Allreddy bomb . . .

So let us now go to the DUmmies, in Glorious All Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, declaring a DUbble-DUFU Monday--a day when everyone tonight here in St. Louis will be wearing all red--is in the [brackets]:

Does Gloria Allred Have The Rumored 'October Surprise?'

[At this point it's still just an October Surmise, but that won't stop the DUmmies from getting all worked up.]

I heard something before. There was a story . . . about how the Romney's compensated the help. . . .

[Probably reduced their daily allowance from six breadcrumbs to five.]

I'm hoping for something more....salacious....like.... She hauls out sister wives...or in his case, his binder of wives.

I can't believe that Ann alone can stabilize Mitt when he goes crazy....I'm sure it takes a tag team of wives.

[It takes a Tagg team.]

Something to do with paternity maybe?

[Gloria is Mitt's baby mama?? Call Maury!]

Hope something real comes of this soon!

[Oh, it will, it will! And it will blow Mitt out of the water!]

makes me a little uneasy when she gets involved in anything. highly unlikable, sensationalist and vile. . . .

[So she's a Democrat! It comes with the territory.]

Please, please, please.

[Please, Gloria, we're on tippytoes! Give us what you've got!]

I hope you guys aren't relying on Allred. She sucks.

[Nonsense! You're in good hands with Allred.]

I hope something comes of this, and fast!

[Help is on the way! Just be patient.]

I adore Gloria Allred.

[Signed, Gloria Allred]

She's got something. . . .

[Is it contagious?]

The Republicans are scared sh*tless about this coming event. . . . they are in panic mode.

[Yes! I feel it! The election is ours! This Allred Bombshell will put us over the top!]

I can understand why Gloria Allred would scare Republicans more than anyone else.

[I can understand why Gloria would scare just about anybody! Yikes! Has she gotten her broom serviced for the upcoming holiday?]

REPUBS FREAKING OUT: Gloria Allred’s Rumored “OCTOBER SURPRISE”

[Freudenschade, baby!!! Break out the champagne bottles! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!]

And the reason she is withholding this information is...?

[The information is currently sealed. But it will come out soon. Trust me.]

doesn't Allred usually have "sex" secrets?

[I really do not want to know Gloria Allred's sex secrets.]

If Allred actually has a bomb-shell secret revelation to announce, I would think she would wait 2-4 days AFTER the final debate for maximum isolated coverage.

[Let's see, that would be in about, oh, 24 business hours.]

Too Rovian by half.

[OK, so 48 business hours.]

Much ado 'bout nuttin. . . .

[Gloria Paltry.]

My take is that it's a setup. . . . But hey, that's just my paranoid mind tracking down the rutted trail of suspicion of Republican intentions.

[Paromnoia strikes deep.]

I hear Romney once got away with an acronym in a game of Scrabble. Triple word score too, the bastard!

[RYMB!]

Here's the funny thing: nobody outside of here gives a flying f*** about this. . . .

[BOMBSHELL ANNOUNCEMENT: DUmmie glacierbay wins today's Kewpie Doll!]

I think they found evidence that Mitt had a coffee sundae and a coke at the malt shop when he and Ann were dating. . . .

[BREAKING: ROMNEY HAD PREMARITAL DATE, DID COKE!]

Unless it is an iron clad take it to the bank certainty I hope she keeps quiet.

[Oh, this one is certain! Bank it!]

Rather and Memogate was a big reason why the 2004 election went the way it did.

[Yes, let's run down that list of "bombshells" that bombed, shall we?]

I still remember "Fitzmas" and the "Downing Street Memo". . . .

[Ah, good times. . . . Pitt really made a fool of himself, didn't he?]

This Allred rumor reminds me of "Fitzmas". . . .

[Yes, it's Pile-on-Pitt Time!]

What a ridiculous disappointment THAT was. . . .

[But, but . . . Pitt ASSURED us! And who knows? Maybe Rove will STILL be indicted! Hey, it could happen!]

The news will be announced in 24 business hours.

[Hee! Hee!]

MITT ROMNEY HAS BEEN INDICTED: More info at truthout.com

[Pitt, you will NEVER live that down! Even among your own peeps, they mock you!]

**IF** Gloria Allred’s “OCTOBER SURPRISE” happens. . . .

["If"?? You say "IF"??? Where is your FAITH, man?]

So, anyone hear from Gloria Allred this morning?

[She and William Rivers Pitt are working on an exclusive for truthout. In other words . . . Gloria in exclusive duo.]