Friday, September 07, 2012

DUmmies watch "DNCing With The Charlottans"


What a week, what a week! The freak show of charlatans assembled at Charlotte. They were all there: Barney Frank, checking in with a leather belt around his neck (I'm series). Convention chair Tony Villaraigosa, miraculously struck with deafness in order to let "God" in the house. Sandra Fluke and the Dancing Vaginas. The Democrats' Warren Woman, the Faux Sqauw, with her Cherokee Cheekbones. A tribute to Ted Kennedy and a speech by Bill Clinton, both of whom waged their own personal War on Women. The Human Gaffe Machine, Slo-Jo Biden. And, of course, the stars of the show, the Huxtables of Pennsylvania Avenue, Michelle and Whatshisname.

The DUmmies LOVED it! They thought it was the greatest thing since sliced tofu! The election now is IN THE BAG!! Pop open those champagne corks! Freudenschade, baby! WHEEEEEE!!!!

Way too many threads to link to them all. But if you're really interested, you can go to the DUmmieland General Discussion Forum and go back to about Wednesday and work your way (dare I say it?) FORWARD!

So let us review the proceedings in Charlotte with the DUmmies, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, relieved that that evil Climate Change was not able to wash out Dear Reader's acceptance speech with a Perfect Rovian Storm, is in the [Barackets]:

At the kickoff of the Demcoratic Convention here Wednesday night, Democrats waded into contentious waters when they added the word "God" and support for Jerusalem as the capital of Israel into the party platform. Convention Chairman Antonio Villaraigosa tried to add the new sections via voice vote, but had to take the vote three times after nays appeared to match yeas. Eventually he declared a two-thirds majority for amending the platform, which was met with boos in the hall.

["All in favor of 'God'"? NO!!! "Huh, what'd you say?" NOOOO!!!!! "Maybe I didn't hear you right. We're voting on 'God,' people!" NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! "Um, that sounded like a two-thirds 'yes' to me. God, you can come back in now." BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!]

Look, I am an atheist x 100. . . . But this token language is meaningless.

["God" is meaningless, and we're just a bunch of hypocrites anyway, and we have to deceive people into thinking we're somewhat normal in order to get elected, so who cares?]

PO'd by the totally UNDEMOCRATIC BS way they put it back in. No reasonable person could say that they actually got a 2/3 vote to change it. They did it anyway, F the rules, F what the delegates think, F democracy at the DNC, we know best. BULL F'ing SH*T!

[Welcome to the Undemocratic Party!]

There's no need for god in the platform.

[Look, you've got abortion and gay marriage in your platform, so they kind of negate the "God" thing, don't they?]

My Heart! Sandra Fluke

[Heeere's Sandy! The Dancing Vaginas are ecstatic!]

STANDING O for Sandra. . . .

[Wow! She must be REALLY happy!]

Holy F***.

[That's one way of putting it.]

She should go into politics. She already has a great base!

[That's what ALL the boys say!]

Sandra Fluke's first elected office will be . . . . . ????

Secratary of compassion.

[Secretary of the Interior? Human Services?]

This is one hell of a warmup for ol' Bill. . . .

[As long as ol' Bill's got his ol' pill. And Sandy has hers. No wait, she won't need one.]

Elizabeth!

[Yes, I can tell by the cheekbones!]

I'm not sure how many girl crushes I can endure this week. She's f***in' awesome.

[Indian Love Call.]

She is KILLING!

[Lizzie Warren took an ax and gave the Thugsters forty whacks. . . .]

I'm sorry Elizabeth Warren's speech left me bored.

[How?]

I have to say the partisan-ness did turn me off.

[Ugh.]

BIG DAWG!!

[The Comeback Id is in the house!!! A Bridge to the Twentieth Century!!]


"Thank you! Thank you! Ain't Ah great? Ah feel your excitement! Thank you! No, really, you may be seated! Oh, what the heck, keep clapping if you want to! Yes, thank you! Thank YOU! Ah know, Ah know. . . .

"Now Ah think Ah know a little something about prosperity! Ah created all the jobs that exist, millions and millions of them--some jobs, right in the Oval Office! Ha! Thank you, thank you! No, on second thought, thank ME!! Don't y'all wish Ah was still President, instead of--well, don't y'all wish Ah was still President? Really! . . ."

veganism agrees with the Big Dawg

[I'm sure Mrs. Dawg fries up a mess o' greens every night for her hungry man.]

Look at Rahm all starry eyed.

[Ballerina Boy is starry eyed, Barney Frank is starry eyed. . . .]

Why is he so hoarse?

[He's been listening to himself speak all day. It takes a toll.]

Bill Clinton is ear-f***ing the sh*t out of this crowd.

[That's DUmmiespeak for "They like it."]

Can Obama top that Clinton speech tomorrow night?

[Hiya, cousin. . . . You say you're worried because the bloom is off Obamassiah's rose? You say the thrill is gone, and you wonder how all this speechifying will cover up four years of failure? And you're afraid Emperor Emptychair will be speaking to a stadium full of empty seats? Is that what's bothering you, bunkie? . . . WELL, LIFT UP YOUR HEAD AND LET A SMILE BE YOUR UMBRELLA! They moved the speech indoors.]

Fasten your seatbelts, folks...here comes Joe.

[Pied Piper Pitt alerts the crowd. Wee Willie is buckled in, there in his Barcalounger in Boston.]

No offense . . . But me thinks Joe had a few before his speech.

[So did Pitt.]

Joe Biden drinking game!! Every time Joe Biden says "man" take a drink.

What about "let me break this down for you?"

"Look" . . . Take a shot!

woot! Ima be DRUNK!

[Joe the Bartender and a room full of Crazy DUggenheims.]

Joe is on Fire! "Conviction! Resolve! Barack Obama!"

[Concoction! Revise! Joe Biden!]

BO!

[I THOUGHT I smelled something! BTW, "BO"?? Prepare for tombstoning.]

Who's introducing Barry?

["Barry"?? You too, take a granite cookie.]

B.O.: No pressure, Mr. President. Phew. Scary. Whole nation watching?

[Invasion of the LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Here comes our President!

[Obamassiah appears! A grateful nation weeps in joyful adoration!]

Obama, Obama, Obama.

[Everyone, join in! Mmm, mmm, mmm, Barack Hussein Obama . . .]

BWahahaha!!! "Take two tax cuts, roll back some regulations, and call me in the morning!"

[Way to go, Barry! That's right, come out AGAINST tax cuts and government over-regulation! Keep doing that! PUH-LEEZE!! And are you sure you want to run on the auto bailout, in which you seized control of an auto manufacturer and turned it into Government Motors? At taxpayer expense? And if so, then how come you make no mention of your seizing control of the health insurance industry, thus raising premiums and raising taxes on the middle class through ObamaCare, aka the Affordable Tax Act? AFF-TAX! And while I'm at it, why no mention of your shovel-ready stimulus package? Or the fact that the debt clock just went over 16 trillion dollars? Why, Barry, why?? All you can sing is, "Give me just a little more time, and our jobs will surely grow. . . ."]

DNC Thursday Night Obama Acceptance Speech Pics

[A bonus! Head DUmmie Skinner and his Mini-Me, EarlG, were at the DNC all week. They posted pics.]

Here are the Dynamic DUo:


 
Here is Skinner watching Mr. Obama give his speech:


Here is EarlG watching Mr. Obama give his speech:


Hush, hush, sweet Charlotte! Charlotte, don't you wake up DUAC Earl!

13 Comments:

Blogger Skul said...

Best line of the whole post...
"PO'd by the totally UNDEMOCRATIC BS way they put it back in. No reasonable person could say that they actually got a 2/3 vote to change it. They did it anyway, F the rules, F what the delegates think, F democracy at the DNC, we know best. BULL F'ing SH*T!"
DUmmie discovers the diffence in democracy and republic.
Trouble is...DNC ran afoul of BOTH concepts.
Too bad for the DUmmies.
I sure wish troogyboy shows up for another pointless hissy fit.
K.I.M. would be nice, too.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Liptonius said...

Judging from the ratings, neither convention was "a house on fire" in terms of excitement or... anything, really.

Granted, 90-95% of the electorate has already picked their candidate, and that may account for some of it.

But the Dem convention was a really sad and unwholesome spectacle, larded up with characters and topics that, to use the old saw, "won't play in Peoria".

Anecdotally, there is no office chatter, no gloating, nothing.

The only thing that got a titter was "Obama went from 'Yes, we can!' to 'Nobody could... but give me anther term anyway'."

As with advertising before Christmas, I think that these conventions should be limited. No Christmas stuff until after Thanksgiving, and conventions should be 2 days, TOPS, carried wall-to-wall on CSPAN and finishing before the first football game of the season.

Gotta have some priorities, after all.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Ogrrre said...

How about this idea, Liptonius: NO conventions at all.
Everyone has to declare by the first Tuesday in November the year before the election. Primary elections are held on the same day in each state on the first Tuesday in May of the election year. Run off election, if necessary, on the third Tuesday of May of the election year. That way, each state has a say about who the candidtates will be; no state has to take the sloppy seconds of Iowa and the other few states who are "first".

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Liptonius said...

Jebus, Ogrre!

What about the barnacles like Clinton, Fluke, and Bawney? How would they make some dough to buy their daily ration of cat food?

There might be no Code Pink plastic pussies, and OWS? Uh... wait. Where was OWS at Charlotte?

And "Howard Dean" Granholm! Pathetically grasping at attention as she is smeared with Spitzer and Gore on the jokey Current tv?

Sure! Your idea makes sense, is rational, and would eliminate a lot of waste and stupidity... but.

The thing that will keep this from happening is: Too many people won't get a fat pile o' dough!


OmiGod! How many cop cars went unpooped at this convention?



6:44 PM  
Anonymous KayInMaine said...

WHY DOES HATING "N*GGER LOVERS" HAVE TO BE THE INTIRE REPUBLIKON ARGEWMINT?

4:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kay ... did your meds wear off ... or you just back(alone) from a night of drinking ..
couldn't get lucky huh ....
sorry ....

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,Kay (spit) good to see your hate filled self again!(spit). Nice to see you havent(spit) changed and hoped a bit! (spit)

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whats an argewmint? is that like an after dinner mint? Spearmint? Peppermint? Or is that just kay once again showing just how fuckin' stoopid she is?

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I was all set to vote for Romney, until kay got me all straightened out with her well reasoned post......

7:31 PM  
Blogger 98ZJUSMC said...

KayInMaine said...
WHY DOES HATING "N*GGER LOVERS" HAVE TO BE THE INTIRE REPUBLIKON ARGEWMINT?

4:15 AM


I see language is not your first language.

12:38 AM  
Anonymous envisio said...

"""""Anonymous said...
And I was all set to vote for Romney, until kay got me all straightened out with her well reasoned post......7:31 PM""""

Thats it for me too. I am going to renounce my citizenship, join the communist party, become a transtesticle drag queen, buy me some Che tshirts, quit my job, sign up for welfare, find me a gay lover to sodimize and hand out vouchers in my neighborhood for free abortions to all 12 year old girls.
KayInMaine has made me see the light with her well reasoned, thoughtful and grammatically perfect argewmint.

11:15 AM  
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