Monday, June 27, 2011

"What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?"

DUmmies are experts in using things in ways that were never intended. I mean, look at how they pay lip-service to the Constitution, even though their desire for Unlimited Big Government completely disregards the framers' original intent. Then there's their support for the Homo-American community, whose members put their "members" where they were never intended to go.

So it's no surprise that a DUmmie would post this THREAD, "What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?"

Cyberspace was never meant for moonbats, but they take up the electrons nonetheless. Well, at least they do provide us with laffs, so that's one good thing. So let us now head over to the DU Lounge, where the unintentional humor is in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if PJ can give the DUmmies tips on using coupons in ways not intended, is in the [brackets]:

What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?

[What constitutional amendment do you use in a way not intended?]

Me - I have been using hair conditioner to shave with for at least a decade.

[That long? And you're still not finished? I think I'll stick with the shaving cream.]

I used tea bags to soak my feet and get rid of bacteria.


I use beef babyfood to get my cat to eat a pill.

[So what does your baby get? Catfood?]

I use diaper rash cream to get rid of the odd sore or rash.

[Is that you, benburch?]

used to use amway laundry detergent to clean the bong. . . .


I never heard of anyone ever buying an Amway product. . . .

[Your "bong" reference didn't fool us! You've been smoked out!]

I've been using Avon Cracked Heel Cream, it has a numbing agent. . . . It's a Must Have in my house for poison ivy.

[The DUmmies should use Cracked Head Cream. It's a must-have for numb skulls.]

I use vodka.

[I bet you do.]

I have had bumper crops of poison ivy (which loves climate change). . . .

[Think of all the poor baby polar bears itching away in misery! D*MN you, Bush!]

I now keep a bottle of cheap vodka in the shower so it is immediately available. . . .

[Doesn't help the poison ivy, but at least when I'm passed out drunk, I don't notice it as much.]

Kerosene and gasoline work, too. . . .

[I would think they'd be a little hard on the stomach, but, hey, whatever works for you. . . .]

I've heard old farmers tell about rinsing themselves off with either one after running into a patch of poison ivy.

[Just be careful about lighting up the old bong at that point.]

Here's something else that's crazy: I've run hot water over an outbreak to stop the the itching. It sends a tingle through my whole body.

[Is that you, Chris Matthews?]

Mayonnaise to polish the furniture--gets rid of water spots. . . .

[The really hard spots have to go to the Mayo Clinic.]

I've used Coke cans to make pipes.

[You've also used pipes to smoke coke.]

I use tampons to clean out my ears.

[T M I !!!]

I've used tampons in the summer in some folds of skin to prevent sweating.

[ben, you have so many folds in your skin, you must buy 'em by the pallet!]

I give Fisher Price toys to my female dog. . . .

[The b*tch.]

she loves to press the buttons and she is like Stephen Hawking crossed with a DJ. She can make it skip from one track to another and say things like: "I love....Lamb!" It also plays the sound of a barking dog. . . .

[But can it do a barking moonbat?]

When we had a dog, he would kill to play with racket balls. . . .

[Lost a lot of racquetball players that way. Buried 'em in the back yard.]

"Hand" lotion.

[Yes, we know, ben!]

Liquid Nails.

[Do you have to buy a Liquid Hammer?]

Polident denture cleaning tabs. I use them to clean my teapot!

[Another teabagger!]

Vacuum cleaner.

[Don't . . . want . . . to know.]


Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Troglaman would fit right in with this discussion as he uses his head for something for which it was not intended - as a suppository.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

I've used tampons in the summer in some folds of skin to prevent sweating.

Thanks, Jabba, now excuse me while I attempt to clean the vomit from my computer desk.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

Yeah, kinda gross when they talk about bodily fluids.

10:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Jabba, now excuse me while I attempt to clean the vomit from my computer desk.

I know it's cliche, but I really did spit coffee onto the front of my blouse.

Good one, SOtG.

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

I love hoe the left tries to equate Walmart customers with Bible clinging, gun toting right wing Christians. The thing is, they're not. They're the left. And they all look like they could use several tampons on those hot sweaty afternoons.

8:04 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"I've used tampons in the summer in some folds of skin to prevent sweating."

That's a mental image that going to haunt me. I just hope they're fresh tampons.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Allison said...

this cliche really make me grins. I love the originality of topics. The author of this article has a sense of humor and make this article interesting. I did enjoy reading this.

2:42 PM  

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