"I was called a 'Libtard' . . . got punched. LOL"

One of our favorite DUmmie thread-types is the one in which the poster relates a real-life incident wherein he or she (or it) comes off as the Valiant Prog Hero, boldly confronting and/or converting a poor backward rethuglican. Often these stories are highly embellished, to say the least, if not downright fanciful. But it does gain the poster some Underground-fives from his fellow DUmmies.

We have an example today in this THREAD by DUmmie dorksied, "I was called a 'Libtard' in public, replied with 'Better than a Repiglicker', got punched. LOL."

So let us now go to DUmmieland, aka Fantasyland, where the punch lines are in Libtard Punch Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, taking a day off from Weinergate, is in the [brackets]:

I was called a 'Libtard' in public . . .

[You should hear what they call you in private!]

replied with 'Better than a Repiglicker' . . .

[Way to de-escalate the situation there, DUmmie dorksied! Peace and love, DUde!]

got punched.

[Oh, DUmmie dorksied, you brave, valiant, prog hero you!]

LOL

[LOL! Me dorksied! Me a libtard! Me LIKE getting punched in nose!]

In front of witnesses, at work.

[I don't believe you! You must be making this up! The "at work" part gave you away.]

Now, I'm curious whether or not he's gonna be wanting state assistance to pay his bills since he was stupid enough to do something like this and get fired.

[DUmmie projection.]

NOPE!!! He'll just blame you (the Libtard) For getting him fired. . . .

[Yes, you, Dorksied the Libtard, DUmmie Punching Bag, Firer of Repiglickers, Valiant Prog Hero.]

Libtard, Repiglicker, and punching. This post has everything!

[WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!]

meh. It's lacking a pit bull and didn't happen at the Olive Garden.

[I think it's got a LOT of bull.]

Or a pit bull that was circumcized at Olive Garden.

[Are you sure those are OLIVES in that salad?]

The pit bull also has to be smoking and breastfeeding

[All at the same time? A circumcised pit bull, breastfeeding a libtard and licking a smoking pig, with a punch, at Olive Garden? This sounds like Clue on drugs!]

I don't understand what this thread has to do with Weiner's peeper

[I think it's the idea of getting fired.]

I have seen a couple of snide references latey about the Olive Garden. . . . I Thought I might have missed something about it being owned by RimJob at Freeperville, or something....A new Olive Garden just opened Monday in my (small town) area, and I wondered if I had to avoid it!!!!

[Just beware of breastfeeding pit bulls.]

Literal hippie-punching!

["How about a nice Hippie Punch?" . . . "Sure!"]

At he company where I worked before I retired, both you and the attacker would have been fired.

[DUmmie dorksied responds . . .]

I did almost get fired but I have filed multiple complaints about workplace harassment on this guy because he was always picking fights with me verbally over politics. I got a write up. No big deal.

[DUmmie dorksied, oh thou of only 59 posts, why do I get the feeling that you may be making this whole thing up? And even if there were some sort of running political bickering, why do I get the feeling that YOU were the annoying, obnoxious instigator?]

I had the same policy when I was a bartender. If there was a fight or even the strong possibility of one I didn't care who was right or wrong. Both parties got kicked out . . .

[. . . where Big Bouncer Pitt beat them both up.]

You should send your story to Readers Digest. It's fascinating.

[Increase Your Libtard Power!]

I detect a hint of skepticism.

[There's a whiff of fiction in the air.]

Nah, Penthouse Forum it is!

[From the DUmp to the Penthouse!]

go to a clinic and go to the cops. You could have undetected damage. You should have a pet scan, and MRI and a few more expensive diagnostic tests as well. . . .

[They scanned dorksied's brain and found nothing.]

Then SUE his ass into the ground. Get yourself a shark like attorney who works on commission and take him/her off the leash. What do you have to lose?

[I don't know what dorksied would lose, but YOU, DUmmie MedicalAdmin--you WIN today's Mixed Metaphor Award! Like a shark off its leash, you PUMMELED that language into the ground!]

Don't forget to be litigious.

[Or fictitious!]

- - - - -

UPDATE:

I think some are sensing that DUmmie dorksied's bouncy may not be all that factual:

People actually use the word "libtard" in the real world? In public? And...repiglicker?

[In the bouncy world of DUmmie dorksied, they do.]

I obviously wouldn't get along too well with anyone who uses the term 'libtard', and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get along with anyone who actually uses the term 'repiglicker' either.

[LOUSY REPIGLICKER TROLL!!!]

Wow. That's a truly remarkable amount of bullsh*t for such a short post.

[I take it you're not buying what DUmmie dorksied is selling.]

Then you woke up.

[Yes, it was all a dream, friends! Kind of like the "Who Shot J.R.?" thing, only it was "Who Punched Dorksied?"]