Answering Machine Messages of the Famous
I am sorry but it is the fault of the previous administration that I am unable to answer your phone call personally. However, if you leave some names and numbers at the sound of the tone I can find out whose ass to kick.
This is a semi-automatic, cassette-loading, six-beep answering machine. At a range of three feet it can blow your eardrum away. You're probably wondering if it's got one beep left or if I've used my six. Go ahead and talk if you feel lucky. Well do you, PUNK?
This is the White House press secretary. If you leave your question at the sound of the tone, I'll get back you with the same vague answer that I left on my answering machine a week ago which referred back to an even more vague answering machine message.
Please leave a psychologically soothing message at the sound of the tone because I can't handle any more hostility. My analyst's bills are high enough already. I just lost one girlfriend because of answering machines. We kept calling each other, but our prerecorded messages were incompatible.
Senator Larry Craig
I am not gay. I never have been gay. At the sound of the tone please leave your name and number on the wall of the third toilet stall from the left in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport bathroom and I will get back to you right away.
You call that a beep? Are you crazy? I didn't hear any lousy beep! This machine won't beep for at least another 10 seconds! If you don't answer me I won't play your message! Please leave your answer you STUPID IDIOT!!!
Governor Charlie Crist
Before this phone message is over, it will change completely. Pro-life? No more. Won't run as an independent? Inoperative. Return Republican campaign contributions? Forget it. So leave your name and number at the sound of the tone before I change my mind again.
"&%$#*&!!! You make me so %#$&$# sick that I'll $#%^& your @%&*& if you don't leave your &%@# name and #$!&% number at the %$&# sound of the &*@#% BLEEP!