DUmmies try to fix the oil leak!
Some of the DUmmies must think they are "Brains" from the Thunderbirds. These rocket scientists are coming up with ingenious ways to fix the Gulf oil leak that I'm sure no one has ever thought of before. Witness this THREAD, "Why couldn't they make a 3 inch thick iron plate about 1 meter squared. Then. . . ."
So let's all head out to Tracy Island, aka DUmmieland, where Brains is working into the wee hours of the night, coming up with workable solutions, in Rocket Scientist Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets], as we all count down: 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . DUnderheads are GO!
Why couldn't they make a 3 inch thick iron plate about 1 meter squared
[First of all, Brains, you don't have an iron plate "3 inch thick" and "1 meter squared." Which is it, "inches"--good, solid, American--or "meters," you Euro-wannabe pseudo-scientist??]
Then cut a whole into the bedrock right up to the oil well hole . . .
[The whole hole?]
. . . and slip the metal plate across.
[Hey, great idea! I bet you're the first to come up with that! Grab your wetsuit and we'll send you down there and you can slip that puppy right across there and save everybody a lot of trouble! Next stop, Oprah!]
The metal plate would then be kept in place by the weight of the bedrock above. Better yet the bedrock would collapse on itself making it even more secure.
[BEDROCK COLLAPSES! FRED, WILMA TRAPPED UNDER THE RUBBLES!]
Works for me.
[OK, that's a plan then. Call Obama.]
the bedrock would have to be very thick
[Like your head.]
Your assets are gravity, rope and a few fragile robots. Good luck.
no seal and there are likely other weak spots on the pipe that will fail.
[Sealed vs. Unsealed.]
This calls for some type of Laser.
[LASER DEEP CONTROL!!!]
Powerful laser + turbid water = steam = nada....
[Laser = loser]
Sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their heads!
[YES! THAT'S IT! . . . Except, I've never seen a shark with a laser beam on its head. . . .]
picture a frozen coke bottle exploding x 1000
[OK, got it. Now what?]
Three points. One, I'm not picturing exactly what you mean here - more details?
[Well, first you find some sharks who would be willing to wear the laser be-- wait, I think you're back to the iron plate idea. . . .]
Two, how on Earth would you even cut something like that?
[Get the sharks to point their laser beams at the iron plate.]
Three, how is that supposed to be faster than the relief well being drilled?
[These questions are too tough. We haven't got that far yet. But I'm sure if we all send out good thoughts and white light and positive energy, it'll work.]
What about a concrete hockey puck the size of a house. . . .
[Call the Edmonton Oilers.]
stack a bunch of curling things together.
[Hair curlers?? Stuff it with hair curlers?]
There is 3 foot diameter steel pipe lining the hole. Where it comes up out of the seabed there is a 60 foot tall blowout preventer (BOP) mounted on top of the pipe. The pressure at the top of the well pipe where it enters the BOP is greater than 10,000 psi. Cut a hole into the bedrock? Where? With what? If you were able to somehow dig a tunnel down through the rock and over to the well pipe, you would still have to cut all the way across a 3' diameter pipe (double pipe, since there's also a casing.) As soon as you cut into the pipe you would unleash a gusher of oil and gas which would blow all your fix-it stuff back out of the tunnel and into the gulf before you could do anything else.
[Picky, picky, picky. . . .]
oh well I tried. I felt like doing something.
[And that's what COUNTS, Brains! You FELT like doing something! That's the old DUAC spirit! You get an "E" for
I'm glued to the oil drum site.
[I don't think that's going to work either.]