Pitt puts the year into perspective--well, sorta . . .
Pied Piper Pitt periodically feels a need to pontificate, and Christmas/New Year's is just such an occasion. Pitt bids farewell to this YEAR by bidding farewell to this awful DECADE, in order to a) bash Bush and b) distract attention from Obambi and this Year of Living Changerously. And through it all, Wee Willie manages to say . . . almost nothing. But it does allow him to pontificate from on high . . . atop his barstool at Bukowski's. And it does allow US to have some FUn with the DUmmies, which is our "mission statement" here at DUmmie FUnnies.
And it gives me, the wag tailoring the doggerel, an excuse to post this little parody I wrote this afternoon. It's a "Year in Review" composition, a Tribute to Team Obama. Click the link and sing along!
IMMORAL, INCOMPETENT, NOT VERY WISE
Tune: "Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise"
Not very wise;
This year of Obama meant
The change they believed in
Since Bo was a pup
Got shortchanged and even
Got all wee-wee'd up.
The bailouts, the skeptic
Said, won't stimulate;
The failure was epic--
A ten is worth eight.
The shovel is ready
To dig a new hole;
The trend line is steady--
It's Dear Leader's poll.
Insurance guy smirking,
But you might be jailed;
The system is working,
The underwear failed.
It's running amok;
But don't tell the Congress--
On stupid they're stuck.
On Holder, on Nappy,
On Crusty and Joe!
Is anyone happy
With Barry's Team O?
Let's all call a summit
And cry in our beer;
The worst thing about it--
It's just the first year!
And now we go to the Pittster and his fellow year-enders. Pitt's Christmas night THREAD is called, in typical Pittian wit, brevity, and profundity, simply "Hey." So let's pull up a chair at Bukowski's and join the cheery conversation, in Rambling Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who sees only a few new movies each year, but did enjoy the entertaining and uplifting "The Blind Side" last night--is in the [brackets]:
It's Christmas night. . . .
[Careful. "Winter Solstice."]
and there's one week to go before 2009 and the rest of this festering, pestiferous bloodbath of a decade gets relegated to the dustbin of history.
[Notice how quickly Party Hack Pitt moves from this YEAR--Obambi's festering, pestiferous Year of Living Changerously--and gets right to this DECADE, which is festering and pestiferous because of BUSH AND THE RETHUGLICANS, of course.]
Some things are definitely better. Some things are definitely worse. And a whole lot of sh*t is exactly the same.
[And a whole lot of Pitt says exactly NOTHING.]
So it goes.
[On he goes.]
DemocraticUnderground is also better, and worse, and the same.
[Don't lock yourself in there, Pitt.]
The most important thing, however, is that DU is still here.
[A third have been tombstoned, and a third are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS, but DUmmieland still stands! Huzzah!]
So am I.
[Pitt lives! Huzzah!]
So are you.
[I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. . . .]
Thank you, thank you, thank you DU and the DUers who make this place what it is.
[Miami Beach audiences are the greatest in the world! Goodnight, everybody!]
You're all crazy, sane, right, wrong, and all the way wonderful.
[I'd stick with just the "crazy" and "wrong."]
We have come a long way, and have so very far to go.
[Can somebody give me a ride home? I'm not in shape to drive.]
I'm ready to keep up the fight if you are.
[Every ss-step . . . stranding up stai--ght . . . a stru--uggle. . . .]
[Bukowski's! Now let's hear from the other year-enders . . .]
cheers, will. all the best to you and yours.
[Will is a married man now, you know--to a woman, in fact--so, yes, he does have an "and yours"! Congratulations again, Will, on your altared state!]
[Kahlua & Rum! Cheers!]
I'm going to keep up the fight, because if you stop trying to make the world a better place, then what do you have?
Actually the decade ends next year.
[Oh, Mr. Smarty-Pants checks in. I bet you're fun at parties. "Actually, hors d'œuvre is both the singular AND the plural. You don't need an 's' on the end."]
This hasn't been a good decade. . . .
[Let's avoid talking about this YEAR.]
This thread is kind of cool, but it also sucks a little. . . .
[I sense someone mocking Pitt's non-committal approach. Hee! Hee!]
I'm at the in-laws. Do know if GD during the primaries or being here is worse!
[Tied for first.]
And we are the better for having you here with us. Thanks Will.
[Oh, thank you, Will! Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you for being YOU, Will Pitt, and for condescending to converse--well, you don't actually do that, do you?--for condescending to . . . bestow your wisdom upon us. Yes! We are ever so grateful!]
america is same
[Tonto is pissed.]
the more things change, the more they stay the same
[Penalty. Two minutes for Boring.]
[OK, that's different. Is this like semaphore flags or something?]
My dear Will...I'm so glad we have your sensible articulate voice to help us when we feel lost...Cheers, sweetie!
[Forget about it, CaliforniaPeggy! Will is a married man now! I know he's the Tiger Woods of DUmmieland and all, but you're going to have to aim your feminine wiles at another target! . . . No, wait. My bad. That was benburch posting.]
Merry Christmas to all , and to all a good fight.
[Peace on earth and power to the people!]
Never give up!
[On second thought, give up. Just. Give up.]
Things are going to get better.
[The sun'll come out . . . tomorrow. . . .]
I feel it in my bones and my bones are old and if there are good feelings in these old bones it is always a good sign.
[What are you, a Hopi elder or something?]
throwing in the towel is not an option.
[Throwing up ON the towel is always an option for Pitt.]
Well freakin' put!
[Will freakin' Pitt!]
Fasten your seat belt....2010 promises some jaw-dropping events.
[You win the Mixed Metaphor of the Day™ Award. It's the gold standard in the vast ocean of major awards.]
Have a Happy!
[Have a Hopi!]
You, Sir, are definitely one of the best things about DU. Thank you for your contributions to this forum.
[We are not WORTHY! (Pitt lives for this.)]
How does one argue with such a thread.
[Don't worry, you guys'll find a way.]
DAMN SRAIGHT, WILLIAM
[OK, we're cutting you off right here, sir. Do you want me to call a cab for you?]
NOT GIVING UP ON FIGHTING; no INDEED
[Careful, sir, you're falling off your stool.]
I'm happy to be with the DU gang
[We ride at dawn!]
I'd rather hang out with the DU group than A LOT of my real family!
[For which your family is grateful.]
I got a case of duct tape for Xmas and I'm using it.
There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.
If I ever get within 50 miles from you, the drinks are on me.
[Pitt says, "Hey, I can be sitting all by myself, and I still get the drinks on me!"]
Technically speaking We have 1 year and a week before the decade is over.
[Did you know biscotti is plural? You should really order one biscotto.]
love ya, Will
God bless us, every one
[May the Higher Power of whatever faith tradition or spirituality one may embrace help us to actualize our full potential and self-realization, if that is consonant with your belief system.]