Thursday, January 15, 2009

DUmmies Discover Cheap Moonshine

The DUmmies are in a state of bliss. They have learned the cost benefits of making cheap moonshine. You can also save money by drinking Thunderbird rather than a fine wine but would you really want to? Life is too short. Yeah, like I'm going to go to the store and save a couple of bucks by buying a generic bottle of RUM with those blue letters on the white background rather than savoring a bottle of Flor de CaƱa aged rum. But the DUmmies are quite excited by the cost benefits of making your own moonshine as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Wow, I did the math. Making your own moonshine is incredibly cost saving." So let us now join the DUmmies as they get all excited over their moonshine discovery in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, contemplating some really fine Venezuelan rum this weekend that his wife is bringing back from that country, is in the [brackets]:

Wow, I did the math. Making your own moonshine is incredibly cost saving.

[So is eating turkey dogs but somehow I prefer T-bone steak.]

After you have your still made, all you need is bulk sugar and yeast. Pennies on the dollar compared to buying it. $5 worth of raw materials for a couple liters of white lightning!

[Earth to DUmmie: Prohibition ended in 1933. No need to drink that really poor substitute for good liquor.]

Anybody make their own moonshine? I'm seriously tempted to start. A country boy can survive! Woah!

[Did the revynooers get your screen name, DUmmie ikhor?]

Making it is fairly easy. Hiding it is the issue. Them thar revynooers will gitcha real bad

[Hide the moonshine in your Barack Obama decanters.]

what are you going to use? apples? peaches? corn? apricots?


granulated sugar and my fungus friends. it's said that using just sugar will avoid many of the undesirable chemicals in the resulting distillation. (like methanol)

[Any chemical that provides desirable taste must be eliminated.]

yeast eats sugar and pisses alcohol and farts carbon dioxide

[Enjoy consuming your piss and farts.]

i think rum is distilled sugar cane

[There is also a molasses or juice step in there.]

Moonshine, white lightning, whatever you want to call it....i want to get drunk off of distillation of fermented sugar

[The going blind part is also lots of FUn!]

The still's gonna be the expensive part. Copper's gone up in price lately. And you don't want to go cheap on the materials, that's how you get tainted stuff that makes people go blind.

[Shhh! Don't discourage him.]

i'm looking at the economics of it, not the taste

[Yeah, who cares if the moonshine taste like the rodents that drowned in it if you can save a couple of bucks.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

And also, watching TV is indeed cheaper than going to the movies. I did the math.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why doesn't he just grow weed? That'll probably be even cheaper, and it's pretty much impossible to accidentally grow weed that will make you go blind if you smoke it.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as the condensation coils are made of clean copper and not used automobile radiators, the moonshine should not make anyone go blind.
As for their concerns about revenuers, as long as you are making the shine for your own personal consumption and not selling or giving it away to other folks, ATF won't bother you.
That being said, moonshine tastes most foul. But, as it is Dummies contemplating making the shine, since they have their heads up their asses anyway, they are used to stuff that tastes like shit.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Tennessee Budd said...

Actually, wellimade moonshine (corn liquor) is some of the best whisky I've ever tasted. If it tastes bad, the maker had his head up his ass.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Tennessee Budd said...

Oops--make that "well-made".

1:04 PM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

I've found homemade corn likker to have an aftertaste I don't really care for, volatile oils from the corn mash, I suppose. Still, the effort and risk in making the stuff doesn't remotely come close to making it worthwhile compared to buying an occasional bottle of the Good Stuff, unless you drink booze like water and don't even taste it going down anymore.

But hey, wouldn't he be circumventing all those wonderful taxes that it's a patrotic duty to pay....?

1:47 PM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

I have always understood that it's TOTALLY illegal to distill ANY liquor in your own home anywhere in the US.. Period. You MUST have a license to distill even in small quantities and of course, every drop is taxed to death.

Many a life has been lost over this dating back even to BEFORE the founding of this country.

Shoot, it wasn't long after Washington took the oath that he had to put down the Whisky Rebellion.

Other countries do in fact allow home distillation just like home brewing.

Btw, wasn't home brewing illegal up until the 1970's??

2:58 PM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

I'm sticking to single malt scotch.
Home brew is usually vile tasting crap that leaves a bad hangover. I did experiment with brewing beer back in my college years (all seventeen of them)but the results were uneven and flat. I recommend Two Hearted ale from Bell's brewery in Michigan.

3:39 PM  
Blogger The Gunslinger said...

Elrond beat me to it, but if you feel the need to make your own alcohol, start with beer. It's legal and safe.

Silly DUmmies

4:20 PM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

elrond you are a man after my own heart. Single malt, 18yr old or better for the most part. (Although I have had some MIGHTY good 10yr olds of late.. Small batch, single barrel/keg stuff. Hmmmmm hmmm)


9:36 AM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...


A cask strength single malt such as Abelour's "A'bunadh" is a treat no one should miss.

5:13 PM  
Blogger MinorTriumphs said...

now now, nobody claimed that making moonshine is an alternative to buying expensive booze that people train themselves/pretend to enjoy the taste of. Moonshine is a cheap way to get drunk that tastes just as good if not better than any cheap vodka. (Mix it it will taste just as good as any mixed drink too) It's also a fun project for the adventurous type. Enjoy your aged rum, ya snob, I'll have my moonshine.

9:00 PM  

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