DUmmies' first DUACtion: Spamming the globe . . .
As we documented here last Friday, the DUmmie brain trust has decided to re-activate the defunct DUmmie Activist Corps. DUAC is back! Of course, EarlG's announcement of the return of DUAC, on two threads, garnered a whopping total of 29 replies. Now you see why DUAC went defunct in the first place.
Nevertheless, they solicited suggestions and came up with their first DUACtion. And it's one which fits the energy and commitment level of the DUmmies. What is it? (Cue Monty Python. . . .) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM! SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM! Yes, members of the DUmmie Slacktivist Corpse are going to sit in their basements and send out SPAM! "Viral e-mail" is what they're calling it, here in this THREAD, "Activist Corps Action (16 weeks until election): The Truth About John Sidney McCain III."
So let us don our HazMat suits and descend into the DUmmie spammers' boiler room, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, especially disappointed that the National League lost the All-Star Game since his Cubs are going to the World Series this year, is in the [brackets]:
Activist Corps Action (16 weeks until election)
[The first DUACtion! What will it be? Something BOLD and DECISIVE, I bet! A Million Moonbat March on Washington? A mass boycott of all oil companies? Yes, bold, decisive, massive--that's the ticket!]
The Truth About John Sidney McCain III
[Hmmm, wonder what that will involve. . . . Well, I'm sure it will call for sacrifice and commitment and possibly even martyrdom for the eager troops.]
we've decided to reboot the DU Activist Corps.
[TO THE STREETS! TO THE BARRICADES! THE REVOLUTION BEGINS TODAY!]
Last Thursday we started taking suggestions for the first Activist Corps action of 2008, and the most practical suggestions involved spreading the word about the real John McCain. We decided to do this in the form of a viral email.
["Viral email"? VIRAL EMAIL??!! That's it?? You're sitting in your basements and sending out SPAM, and that's your bold and dramatic ACTION???!!! This is even lazier than walking out to the mailbox and sending a LTTE!!!]
DU ACTIVIST CORPS ACTION: SEND THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW
[POOR SLOBS WHO RECEIVE IT RESPONSE: DELETE AS FAST AS IT COMES IN]
SUBJECT: Fwd: The Truth About John Sidney McCain III
[SUBJECT PEOPLE TO SPAM]
If you only forward one email this year, make it this one. . . .
[Don't you just love forwarded e-mail? I think of it like diamonds: 40 carats >> >> >> >> . . .]
Everything in this email is 100% TRUE and VERIFIABLE!
[As solid as Nigerian investment information!]
Don't believe it? Check Google or Snopes.
[FROM THE DESK OF MR. TOFU ZOOBOOMAFU]
DID YOU KNOW?
[VIAGRA FOR LESS FROM CANADIAN PHARMACY]
SIGN IN WHEN YOU'VE COMPLETED THE TASK
[OK, EarlG! With such a simple task, I'm sure you've gotten THOUSANDS of your committed DUmmie activists to carry out this easiest of assignments! I mean, copy and paste an e-mail, and then just report in with a click of button! What could be easier?]
126 activists have completed this task so far.
[Oops! Well, let's see some of the responses. . . .]
hehehe I just sent it out to my active Democratic county mailing list.
[AKA, Preaching to the choir. Will persuade millions.]
[Must be one of those Little Lebowski Urban Achievers.]
it's all about being sitting on your ass in your easy chair at just the correct moment, instead of up cleaning house like I should have been.
[That's Kewpie Doll stuff right there, pal! Congratulations!]
so glad EarlG gave me an easy way to feel like I did something for the cause today.
[Key word, "feel."]
I could just hug you right now!
[Please don't. You're viral.]
How the hell do you do it? I can never figure out how to email things from DU. Cut and paste the whole damned thing? My "email expertise" is pretty much limited to Forward and Reply. . . . Heck, I am surprised it only took me two years to figure out how to post or reply on DU (actually, my girlfriend-of-the-moment figured it out, way back when. I got rid of her ass, but I still have DU).
[DUmmie TomInTib is severely challenged by EarlG's daunting task. Fellow DUmmies rush in to help. TomInTib then responds . . .]
Doesn't work for me. Oh, well, maybe my activist days are behind me.
[Poor TomInTib! Even your "girlfriend," DU, couldn't walk you through this. Give it up, comrade. You're of no further use to the cause.]
Done! Just sent to 600 people.
[This is why God invented SpamGuard.]
Sent it to a friend from our conservative evangelical church . . .
[. . . who in turn sent it to the Trash Bin.]
Ready, set, FIRE!
[Ready, set, DELETE!]
I'm proud to take part, a member of the DU activist corps.
[The Few. The Annoying. The DUACos.]
Good to see the Activist Corps is back in business!
[Spamming the globe . . .]
I've gotten two responses from the 150+ ppl I sent it to, one loved it . . . the other said (and I quote), "This kind of stuff makes me ashamed of the Democratic Party----can't we do better than this?"
[Really effective strategem there, guy.]
Wow that felt good!
[Key word, "felt."]
I think I may go spread it around a couple chat rooms. . . .
[Keep your viruses to yourself, buddy.]
So easy...so effortless....
[And yet, so ineffective....]
I'm glad to see the DU Activist Corps back in action, and I'm looking forward to our next task!
[Your next task, should you decide to accept it: BUMPER STICKERS!]
I told People:
For every five people you forward this to an angel gets his wings.
For every ten people you forward this to an angel gets a pony.
[An angel is only ten e-mails away from getting a pony.]
my RW friends and acquaintances and accidental address book members... are SO GOING TO HATE THIS!!... by this time next week i should have a couple of hundred emails telling me to quit sending this 'sh*t' to them.... yeehaw, motherf***ers...block my ass from your inbox all you want...
[Is that you, Dale Carnegie?]
It needs a "hook", something that gives people on the 2nd rung of the chain motivation to keep passing it on, like "your nuts will shrivel up if you don't do exactly as I say". . . .
[Jesse Jackson checks in. . . .]
Fun! I haven't forwarded one of those chain emails in forever. . . .
[Chain, chain, chain . . . Chain of fools. . . .]
delete. reply to wrong thread.
[Now we see why EarlG started with something so simple. Baby steps.]