Pitt asks the DUmmies: "Ron Paul? Say freakin' what?!"
I chose this topic for a guest DUFU with some degree of trepidation. Any mention of "Ron Paul" anywhere on the Internet tends to bring out the Paulbots. But there is material to work with here: Confusion and kookiness in DUmmieland! Pied Piper Pitt takes on the Paulbearers--and the Paulbamboozled--in this THREAD titled, "I haven't been on DU much, so this might be off base...but...Ron Paul? Say freakin' what?!" BTW, Pitt will use this thread to a) reveal some personal news of note and b) get in some digs at one of the Democrat favorites in DUmmieland. So let's get out our DUmmie Ant Farm and see how SOMEBODY SHOOK UP THE ANTS!, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, using the bully Paul-Pitt, is in the [brackets]:
I haven't been on DU much, so this might be off base...but...Ron Paul? Say freakin' what?!
[The Paulbearers are everywhere, Will. Oh, and if you haven't been on DU much lately, O Logorrheal One, you've been making up for it this weekend with no less than three threads.]
Have I gone right over the moon, or am I really seeing the Ron Paul campaign getting traction on DU?
[You've run right into the moonbattiest of the moonbats.]
Here, I now warn you, is the point where I plop my Party Hack Assbag helmet on my head, fasten the chin-strap, and then proceed directly into The Same Old Crap That Is Dead-Bang Guaranteed To Piss A Bunch Of You Off...
[Will the Shill admits that he is a Party Hack. The erstwhile Pied Piper also recognizes that he is proficient at pissing people off. This is progress, Will.]
Not so very long ago, a great hue and cry was raised because of threads supporting Cindy Sheehan's run against Speaker Pelosi.
[Notice how Party Hack Pitt says "Speaker Pelosi" in hushed, reverent tones. But he won't then go on to say bad things about the independent Mother Sheehan, since that might alienate a lot of DUmmies. His point is that DUmmieland should only support Democrats, and thus any pro-Paul posts should be verboten.]
but here are all these Ron Paul threads and posts all of a sudden, and unless I took a blow to the head and forgot about it because I took a blow to the head. . . .
[I think it was that time you fell on the floor of Bukowski's. . . . Oh, WHICH time? Take your pick.]
if it's forbidden to campaign for a progressive candidate like Cindy Sheehan, how in the name of Tom DeLay's floppy shriveled nutsack is it permitted to raise banners for the Republican presidential campaign of Ron Paul?
[Pitt, you you have such a way with words. . . .]
My girlfriend. . . .
[PITT HAS A GIRLFRIEND! Breaking News! . . . . Is she over 17, Will?]
My girlfriend was recently diagnosed with a serious and degenerative illness. . . .
[Sorry to hear that, Will. I'm series. But you then go into a long pro-abortion digression and justify it with the predictable sacred cow of "stem-cell research." All to make a point against any Republican who is pro-life, even Ron Paul.]
all those Fundy shitdogs. . . . The Jesus Shouters. . . . The Snowflake morons. . . .
[Pitt's terms for pro-lifers.]
I reminded her of Bush's veto of the health care bill for 12 million kids, his veto of millions for research on cures and treatments. . . . Bush vetoed that stuff because it would have worked. Because any government program that shows government being an effective agent for the people has to be stopped at all costs. Because he's a privatizer. . . . If a government program is working, it must be smashed. . . .
[Pitt shows how little he understands conservatives--or President Bush, for that matter. Would that President Bush WERE in favor of smashing MORE government programs! Conservative disssatisfaction with President Bush has to do with him being too much of a Big Government Big Spender.]
I'm a liberal, a Democrat. . . .
[Will, I wish more of your party's candidates were honest enough to state that.]
to be brutally candid about it, nothing can convince me that support for Paul's campaign is anything other than putting the barrels of an electoral shotgun under your chin, pulling the trigger with your toes, and blowing your laudably open mind through the top of your head and all over the ceiling tiles.
[Another lovely mental image from wordsmith Pitt.]
That means my support for Democrats is direct action that can help bring a day when there is a cure for what my girlfriend is suffering. . . . I'm with the big blue (D) because her life depends on it. . . .
[It's Democrats . . . or death for Will Pitt's girlfriend!!! There's no other answer! Pull the "D" or she will die! . . . Now on to the DUmmies responding. . . .]
Elizabeth Kucinich kind of stoked the fires. . . .
[The lovely Miss Elizabeth had said that Dennis the Minus would consider running with RoPaul. Kookie and Kookier! That is what stirred things up. Pitt replies. . . .]
That I saw. *shrug* Neither one fits into the common molds of their respective parties, so their friendship makes sense.
[Pitt gets in a not-so-subtle dig against his former employer. Back in early 2004 Will the Shill had gotten a paying job as Press Secretary for the Kookcinich campaign--oh, for about 24 business hours. All the while, Willie was secretly supporting Jean-Fraud Kerry! Back to the other DUmmies. . . .]
The Paul bashing talking points went out to the Party Uber Alles scribes like six weeks ago dude. Where you been?
[Sitting outside Party Headquarters holding the "Will Shill for Food" sign.]
Ron Paul is batshit insane.
[OK, but is that a reason to not support him?]
Paul is a Libertarian
[My definition of a Libertarian is a Republican who likes drugs. Paul himself doesn't like drugs, but the people who do like drugs like Paul.]
I simply don't understand why any Democrat would support Paul over Kucinich. . . . All Paul has is the anti-war stance. Most of the rest of his positions are nutty.
[Unlike "UFO" Kucinich.]
We have a gem among our Democrats by the name of Dennis Kucinich and he does not need polishing. . . .
[A JEWEL who's not afraid to stand up to the JOOOOOOOOOS!!! He and the Paulestinians have that in common.]
I wonder if all the Democrat Bashing crap is the work of Trolls put here by the RNC.
[The Rovebots are even more omnipresent than the Paulbots. That DUmmie next to you could be one! . . . Then someone mentions the Paul trolls being noisy but small in number, and Pitt replies. . . .]
Same mistake Kucinich made in '04. Kucinich had by far and away the largest web presence during that campaign. They absolutely beat the shit out of everyone in every online poll. After enough time with that happening, the campaign started to think it actually meant something besides the same 25,000 people talking to each other. Nope. Didn't translate into much beyond those 25,000 votes.
[Pitt takes the opportunity of the Paul comment to get in another dig against his former employer Kucinich! Talk about sour grapes!]
It doesnt matter. Paul has as much chance as Kucinich to get the nomination from their parties.
[DUmmie johncoby2, you get the Kewpie Doll today for a brief moment of mental clarity.]
As a 26 year always voting Democrat I have been disenchanted with the party for some time. I am now supporting Ron Paul. . . .
[Welcome to DUmmieland, Tberg, for your first--and last--post. Prepare for tombstoning.]
44% of DUers prefer Ron Paul over Hillary Clinton.
[ABH: Anybody But Hillary. But she WILL be your nominee, DUmmies! Deal with it!]
WOW, DU has locked the poll!
[Invasion of the Paulbots! LOCK! BAN! DELETE!]