DUmmie FUnnies 06-30-05 ("Screw 2008! The World Can't Wait!")

DUmmie frustration with the EVIL BUSH REGIME has gone from blind anger to flat out treason as you can see in this non-constitutional call for the overthrow of the government in this THREAD titled, “Screw 2008! The World Can't Wait!” This treasonous rant by DUmmie repeater138 recognizes that the Left CAN’T win at the polls and that impeachment is an impossibility so the solution for them is to OVERTHROW the government. No pretenses about going through any sort of electoral process to initiate change. Since the rant of DUmmie repeater138 is so long, this entire DUFU edition will be devoted to this plea for treason. The impotent pleas for the overthrow of the ELECTED government by DUmmie repeater138 is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering when this DUmmie’s rantings become part of the Democrat Party platform, is in the [brackets]:

Screw 2008! The World Can't Wait!

The World Can't Wait! Drive Out the Bush Regime!

The World Can't Wait!

Drive Out the Bush Regime!

[MEDICATE YOURSELF!]

Mobilize for November 2, 2005

[NOT ONE DAMN DIME DAY!]

Your government, on the basis of outrageous lies, is waging a murderous and utterly illegitimate war in Iraq, with other countries in their sights.

[Andorra is next on our invasion list.]

Your government is openly torturing people, and justifying it.

[Is that you, Dick Durbin?]

Your government puts people in jail on the merest suspicion, refusing them lawyers, and either holding them indefinitely or deporting them in the dead of night.

[I grieve over the loss of Miranda Rights for Al Qaeda terrorists.]

Your government is moving each day closer to a theocracy, where a narrow and hateful brand of Christian fundamentalism will rule.

[Is that you, Howard Dean?]

Your government suppresses the science that doesn’t fit its religious, political and economic agenda, forcing present and future generations to pay a terrible price.

[Yeah. The government has just ruled that the laws of electro-magnetism are now illegal.]

Your government is moving to deny women here, and all over the world, the right to birth control and abortion.

[The Chinese will be surprised to learn that.]

Your government enforces a culture of greed, bigotry, intolerance and ignorance.

[It’s called the Hollywood Culture.]

People look at all this and think of Hitler – and they are right to do so. The Bush regime is setting out to radically remake society very quickly, in a fascist way, and for generations to come. We must act now; the future is in the balance.

[Oh Fatherland, Fatherland,
Show us the sign
Your children have waited to see.
The morning will come
When the world is mine.
Tomorrow belongs to me!]

Millions and millions are deeply disturbed and outraged by this. They recognize the need for a vehicle to express this outrage, yet they cannot find it; politics as usual cannot meet the enormity of the challenge, and people sense this.

[Speaking of deeply disturbed, DUmmie repeater138. Could you give us the long list of meds you are taking? Obviously they are NOT working.]

There is not going to be some magical “pendulum swing.” People who steal elections and believe they’re on a “mission from God” will not go without a fight.

[Diebold. The Gift that keeps on Giving.]

There is not going to be some savior from the Democratic Party. This whole idea of putting our hopes and energies into “leaders” who tell us to seek common ground with fascists and religious fanatics is proving every day to be a disaster, and actually serves to demobilize people.

[Don’t despair. There is always Dennis Kucinich. The Evil Elf is tanned, rested, and ready.]

But silence and paralysis are NOT acceptable. That which you will not resist and mobilize to stop, you will learn – or be forced – to accept. There is no escaping it: the whole disastrous course of this Bush regime must be STOPPED. And we must take the responsibility to do it.

[Trust me, DUmmie repeater138. On November 2, your fat ass will be parked all day in front of a glowing computer screen in the dark basement corner of your parents’ house.]

And there is a way. We are talking about something on a scale that can really make a huge change in this country and in the world. We need more than fighting Bush’s outrages one at a time, constantly losing ground to the whole onslaught. We must, and can, aim to create a political situation where the Bush regime’s program is repudiated, where Bush himself is driven from office, and where the whole direction he has been taking society is reversed. We, in our millions, must and can take responsibility to change the course of history.

[I believe the correct term for that “political situation” you are advocating via treasonous means is called “Bolshevism.”]

To that end, on November 2, the first anniversary of Bush’s “re-election”, we will take the first major step in this by organizing a truly massive day of resistance all over this country. People everywhere will walk out of school, they will take off work, they will come to the downtowns and town squares and set out from there, going through the streets and calling on many more to JOIN US. They will repudiate this criminal regime, making a powerful statement: “NO! THIS REGIME DOES NOT REPRESENT US! AND WE WILL DRIVE IT OUT!”

[I’m sure this will be just as successful as NOT ONE DAMN DIME DAY.]

November 2 must be a massive and public proclamation that WE REFUSE TO BE RULED IN THIS WAY. November 2 must call out to the tens of millions more who are now agonizing and disgusted. November 2 will be the beginning – a giant first step in forcing Bush to step down, and a powerful announcement that we will not stop until he does so – and it will join with and give support and heart to people all over the globe who so urgently need and want this regime to be stopped.

[Translation: Dozens of DUmmies will register their protest on November 2 by posting angry messages in DUmmieland.]

This will not be easy. If we speak the truth, they will try to silence us. If we act, they will to try to stop us. But we speak for the majority, here and around the world, and as we get this going we are going to reach out to the people who have been so badly fooled by Bush and we are NOT going to stop.

[You will be silenced by the wall of laughter caused by your Drama Queen antics.]

The point is this: history is full of examples where people who had right on their side fought against tremendous odds and were victorious. And it is also full of examples of people passively hoping to wait it out, only to get swallowed up by a horror beyond what they ever imagined. The future is unwritten. WHICH ONE WE GET IS UP TO US.

[Fear not. Your reservation for the Ezra Pound Loony Bin Cage has been confirmed.]

These next two months are crucial. The call you are reading has to get out to millions right away – on the internet, passed out as flyers in communities, published as ads in newspapers. DO NOT WAIT!! GET ORGANIZED!! If you agree with this statement, add your name to it!!! And do more than that: send it to friends, get them to sign it, organize a meeting, take it to your church, your school, your union, your health club, your barber shop, to concerts and libraries and family gatherings, everywhere you go. Raise money, lots of money. Get people together, make plans to be there on November 2, and to build for it. GET IN TOUCH WITH US AT OUR WEBSITE, worldcantwait.org

[Take it to your mental ward, your crack house, your dark, lifeless basement, everywhere you go. BTW, I went to your worldcantwait.org website and I congratulate you on your sneaky way of causing mass blindness with that yellow lettering on light blue background layout.]

The world can’t wait! Drive out the Bush Regime! Mobilize for November 2!

Initiating signers of this call include:

Margot Harry
C. Clark Kissinger
Travis Morales
Sunsara Taylor

[I’m shocked that the name of Ward Churchill is not on that list but at least you got plenty of other well known celebs to sign on to your lunacy.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-28-05 ("Fight dirty, go negative early and often")

I have to give the DUmmies credit for honesty in this THREAD titled, “Fight dirty, go negative early and often.” At least they make absolutely NO phony pretense at trying to attain even a minimal level of civility. They up front admit they HATE Republicans and will do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to defeat them. This is the REAL FACE of the Left, not that false front the professional Democrats put up when they know the cameras are rolling. Read this thread and learn how the Democrats REALLY think. It is a sad sight but educational as well. As usual, the bile spewing DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, happy to present to the world the ugly DUmmie face behind the Democrat mask, is in the [brackets]:

Fight dirty, go negative early and often. Politics is a bloodsport, not a Gentleman's game! Dems can't compete if they attempt to maintain the "moral high ground".

[Don’t worry. You have no “moral high ground” to maintain.]

Kick republicans in the balls, gouge out their eyes, crush their windpipe and kick them when they're down repeatedly.

[Is that you, Howard Dean?]

Or, you can get used to being the minority party.

[Thanx to this post you made you will remain a minority party for much longer than you ever intended. Now let us hear the rest of the DUmmies add in their rabid ravings…]

bingo! Here's an example that pissed me off locally. There was a local D. meeting in town a couple weeks ago. The group had reserved a covered picnic area at a local park. When they got there an R operative was eating lunch in the picnic area. Rather than confronting him, they moved the D meeting to the lawn.

[WAAAAAH!!!! LOUSY EVIL REPUBLICANS! THEY STOLE OUR PICNIC SPOT! CRIME OF THE CENTURY!!!]

OH I agree! I think that's what Dean has been doing! Now you tell ME why so many Dems are slamming him for doing it????? I have been saying for years that you have to fight fire with fire. We can't let the opposition use rockets and we continue to use pocket knives!!! Whay won't the Dems let Howard do a job that he's very good at doing? Why won't our elected Dems join him?

[Perhaps you can take solace from the fact that the Republicans are willing to leave Dean alone to destroy the Democrat Party by himself.]

Because .... the failed, old guard, pink tutu, handwringing, go along to get along, appeasing wing of the Dem party cannot stand it that they are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG and they don't have a plan or the guts to take power from the Repugs. They continue with their measured rhetoric and whine when the media doens't cover it. They wonder why, that after compromise after compromise with the Repubs, that when they want a small portion of good will they get shit on every time. Some people are simply too nice to play politics as the Republicans have defined it. They should move aside and let those who have the passion and the ability play.

[Move aside and allow the DUmmies to self-destruct!]

This is TRUE TRUE TRUE. I wish our folks would start taking this to heart. DAMN!

Yes, I know it takes us down to their level. Yes, I know it makes us no better than them. F*CK IT! Just Do It ANYWAY.

Yes, I also know that poll after poll after poll shows people SAY they don't like negative campaigning and that it's a turn-off. NEVERTHELESS, they STILL fall for it and buy into it, hook, line, and sinker. Research repeatedly shows that NEGATIVE CAMPAIGNING WORKS. IT WORKS. IT GETS THE JOB DONE. IT WINS ELECTIONS. And even while people CLAIM they don't like it, they are still taken in by it, BIGTIME.

WHEN are we gonna realize that?

When I start talking about how you don't take a knife to a gunfight, and if someone shoots at you with a howitzer, you don't arm yourself with a feather duster, I get the same tired old crap about how - Oh, Dear Me! That means we're no better than them!!! We're just like them!! Oh, WOE!!!

And you know how I've started to respond? I say - "you know something? I DO want to be like them. JUST like them. Because you know what they are? They're WINNERS. And I want to win. So if that's what it takes, SO BE IT. It's about time Macchiavelli started working for the Good Guys, anyway."

[Keep talking. This Anger Management Therapy Session still has a few minutes to go. (Note: Patient appears to be Just Plain NUTS!!!)]

If negative campaigning didn't work, Max Cleland would still be a Senator. I know people don't like it, and there are times it backfires, but if it's not sufficiently answered, it works. Throw enough shit at the wall, and some of it always sticks. The trouble is, all the feces-flinging howler monkeys appear to be working for the GOP, and that's a lot of shit to keep scraping off the walls. Some of it always manages to leave a smear.

[It appears you’ve tossed more than your share of shit at the fan.]

yes sir- it is LONG PAST time to break out the baseball bats.

[Stand by! Dr. Buddy Rydell will be seeing you in a minute.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-28-05 ("I will * NOT * support Hillary Clinton for President")

Hillary WILL be your ’08 candidate, DUmmies. Get used to it. Karl Rove has already set the wheels in motion to MAKE this happen. Therefore you can whine all you want to no avail as you have in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “I will * NOT * support Hillary Clinton for President..” You won’t support Hillary Clinton for President in ’08? TOUGH LUCK because that is who will be your nominee. Better face reality and LEARN to live with this fact now, DUmmies. And don’t look for John F. Kerry to be your standard bearer. Kerry will be crushed like a firefly on the window of the speeding Hillary machine. As for Edwards, any thought that he can put up any kind fight against Hillary is entirely laughable. However, continue in your delusions that there are other candidates who might win the Democrat nomination in ’08. Such speculation is great for laughs. Yeah. Throw out those winning candidates, DUmmies. Kucinich, Boxer, Conyers…Make me laugh! So let us now watch the DUmmies vainly try to throw spitballs at Hillary in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anticipating the DUmmie screechings when the invevitable smacks the DUmmies in their faces in three years, is in the [brackets]:

I will * NOT * support Hillary Clinton for President.

[What a coincidence. I won’t either.]

Do I think she is a smart lady? Yes. Is she perfect? Heavens, no! Is the problem with her politics, or the fact she's a female? NO!

The truth is that I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DYNASTIES.

[Li’l Kim in North Korea will be very disappointed in you.]

In a country with 300 Million People, I think we can find a few that aren't IMMEDIATE family with past Presidents. I believe that 'changing the guard' with new people is a GOOD thing (which is one of the reasons I was very pleased with Bill Clinton -- the same corrupt folks had been in power for 12 years before him, and his crew straightened things up somewhat).

[Let me guess. You were not happy with the Discovery Channel poll results for the Greatest American. Continue DUmmie IdaBriggs.]

Hillary was a great First Lady, and I assume the citizens of New York are happy with her as a Senator. When she and her husband moved into the White House, however, as far as I am concerned, she and her daughter sacrificed THEIR presidential ambitions -- at least as far as I am concerned.

[Hillary was Pretty in Pink while explaining how she ingeniously turned a $1000 investment in cattle futures into $100,000 profit within one year.]

As for the Bush family, they exemplify the disastrous problems of name recognition as a voting criteria. If George didn't have that "Bush" name recognition (which we heard for 12 years as our Vice President and then President), this alcoholic failed businessman would still be drying out someplace in Connecticut.

[Maybe Bush should have invested in cattle futures.]

Yes, I get the importance of 'relationships' in politics -- and having keys to the White House definitely opens up a lot of doors for the residents. Yes, I get that watching someone else play President makes for a great 'how to' guide, but I don't believe ruling a country is a good 'family business' or we would call them Kings instead of Presidents.

[We also call them communist dictatorships ala North Korea and Cuba when Fidel hands the keys to the kingdom over to brother Raul upon his demise.]

Apologies to the Kennedy family, as well as Hillary, but I will repeat myself:

[Sniff! This might cause Patrick Kennedy increase the dosage of his meds.]

NO PRESIDENTIAL DYNASTIES!!!

[HILLARY ’08. And now to hear the other DUmmies pile dive on Hillary.]

I would endorse Barbara Boxer over Hillary in a New York minute!

[And I would endorse your ridiculous choice even faster.]

Do some of you actually believe that being married to a President is qualification?? If so, let's hope the right wing is just as ridiculous, and they run Pickles. Of course, until electro-fraud voting is eliminated, she would still win. Seriously though, I would like an explanation of Hillary's "qualifications".

[I’m not sure how the DUmmies came up with calling Laura Bush “Pickles” but she was the wife of Morey Amsterdam on the “Dick Van Dycke Show.” Fun fact: The real life Morey Amsterdam was a big Reagan supporter.]

I won't support her, either. And if she's the nominee, I won't vote for her

[So you can either vote for Nader or McCain. They will both be running on third party tickets.]

But my view is that Hillary is pretty close to Republican herself. The main difference being that the Repubs want to screw us quick, and the so-called New Democrats want to screw us slowly. If I'm going to get screwed, I'd rather just get it out of the way and deal with aftermath as soon as possible.

[A slow screw by Hillary is definitely NOT a pleasant experience.]

I Agree that Hillary is a Dino/Rhino...As a woman I would never vote for her. Yet, in no way would I vote for a Republican, ever - never! Not have this Adm. I'm just sick of massive corporations corrupting our Constitution & Bill of Rights or what's left of them. And did I mention the corruption. Tired of it. I'd rather see some of those female Representatives that walked w/Conyers hold a ticket. And if they can't do it, Edwards would get my vote.

[Ah! The Breck Girl. So you still get to vote for a female.]

Hang in there I understand that Rove might back Jeb Bush in 08

[Actually Karl Rove is backing Hillary in ’08…but only for your nominee…Hee! Hee!]

What makes you think she's running for President? She's never ran for President. She's never formed an exploratory committee to see about running for President. She's never raised money to run for President. She's never entered a Presidential Primary. She's never even said that she'd like to run for the Presidency.

[Hillary running for president? Gee! Where did we ever get such a silly, ridiculous idea? I mean there are NO CLUES out there at all that Hillary is planning to run for President. Right?]

Obviously, there are rumors about her; whether or not they are true, people are listening to them. I'm a pretty plain spoken woman, and I'm addressing this issue as one that is rarely discussed: as a dynastic element (name recognition), which I believe is one that helped elect the WORST president we've EVER had. I am not discussing her qualifications, character or experience. I am simply rejecting her based on the fact that she is immediate family to a past president.

[Rumors? You mean there are actually rumors out there that Hillary is planning to run for president? Where did you hear such absurd rumors?]

IF she is the nominee, then I will assume the Democrats are morans.

[I made that assumption LONG AGO.]

Think of Hillary as you would a tourniquet. When one is hemorrhaging to death, a tourniquet is precisely what is needed to keep one alive until one gets to the hospital. Our nation, and our liberties, are hemorrhaging to death. If Hillary is the Democratic nominee in 2008, she is that tourniquet we need to prevent the death of our once great nation.

[FUnnie but I always thought of Hillary as an enema of the people.]

Bush numbers for the popular vote made it difficult to question the election results and helped boost his claim of a popular mandate.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Try telling that to the Talking Heads....They're already declaring that the Democratic primaries are over (before anyone has even ANNOUNCED their candidacy), and that no other Democrat should even bother to run against Hillary.

[It’s ALL been decided. Hillary WILL be your nominee. None can defy the Perfect Rovian Storm!]

I just think we need to win...and I do not believe, in my heart of hearts, that she can win. Period.

[Karl Rove has already figured that out. Hee! Hee!]

"It doesnt matter what we do...the party insiders have already selected the nominee for us!" With that attitude, what the hell's the point of even having a Democratic primary, if there's supposedly nothing that grassroots voters can do to influence it?

[It’s a done deal, DUmmie. There is NOTHING you can do about it. Hillary WILL be your nominee.]

I will not support Hilary. If she gets the nomination the dems will lose my vote. It has nothing to do with political dynastys. She sits too close to the fence for me.

[So vote for someone in the DUmmie mainstream such as Bob Avakian.]

My problem is with her politics, plus I just don't like her. Never have. I spent the entire Clinton administration and a little while after it TRYING to like her. I didn't succeed and finally gave up.

[Perhaps it is due to the fact that when Hillary’s voice rises just a decibel above normal she sounds completely shrill, making the viewer want to shout “STFU” at his TV set.]

HILLARY IS A WINNER ! Hillary is a proven winner. It's sad to see all the frothing allegiance to actual and proven rejects. Let's get behind a winner with more guts, brains, and appeal than any candidate in any party.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Will she be elected? Probably not although her spinners have been very busy with some fast and loose polls. BTW, I am well aware the General Clark will back her 100%.

[And you win a KEWPIE doll for having the momentary perception that Weasley Clark is nothing other than a Hillary hand puppet.]

I AIN'T DOING HILLARY EITHER. She may have what it takes, but to go Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton doesn't do it for me. Besides, that's WHO THEY WANT! JOHN EDWARDS!!!!

[Yes! That video of the Breck Girl fussing with his hair in a beauty compact mirror is quite inspiring.]

I dont think Hillary will run-- I thikn she knows her best position is in the senate. 3 years ago I thought Hillary would be the 1st woman president. NOw I htink she will never win or run.

[You don’t think Hillary will run? Mighty powerful meds there that you must be taking.]

I won't support her either. Not just because I don't like dynasties but also because I don't like her blowing in the wind and her "anything for political expediency" attitude. If she gets the nod I'll go third party.

[Psst! Socialist Workers Party.]

I don't personally have a problem with the fact that she stayed married to Bill Clinton. I have a problem with how her entire career can be summed up in one word: OPPORTUNISM.

[A first here. TWO Kewpie Dolls awarded in a DUFU edition to DUmmies displaying brief moments of mental clarity.]

Back to Jesusland! Unless we have electoral reform, including proportional representation, the Jesus-fascists will continue to have disproportional representation in our legislatures and in Congress. There is no way to even be competitive against the forces of ignorance and intolerance unless we address the issue of election rules.

[Please excuse me for splashing the cold water of reality into your face but we DO have proportional representation. You never heard of the House of Representatives?]

We don't need the South to win! We do need Ohio, and Kerry may have actually won Ohio.

[Kerry pretty much killed his chances in Ohio during the campaign when he went out in public wearing that Elmer Fudd hunting costume.]

I believe the only thing Hillary stands for is Hillary in a position of power.

[Sorry. I’ve already run out of Kewpie Dolls to award for brief moments of mental clarity in this thread.]

It kills me that people are so eager to see her run for pres in 08! She is hardly into her first term as Senator and yet people are already jumping to send her to the White House! Unbelievable.

[It’s also going to kill you when Hillary leads the Democrat ticket down to sure defeat in ’08. It’s all part of the Plan. The Perfect Rovian Game Plan.]

She is hardly into her first term as Senator and yet people are already jumping to send her to the White House! Unbelievable. I am in agreement with you IdaBriggs. Dynasties are not a good thing in politics. This is why we are a Republic. Also, I cannot understand why the Senator is leaning slightly rightward lately in regards to abortion and immigration. I also cannot forget that she voted for the authorization of Bush to invade Iraq. I am a little disturbed in her DLC-inspired shift. However that's me!

BARBARA BOXER IN 2008!

[I guess realism isn’t your strong point.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-27-05 ("How many of us here take antidepressants?")

A couple of weeks ago we had a great deal of fun in the DUFU edition titled, What meds do you take? and today we go back to the same FUnnie territory in this THREAD titled, “How many of us here take antidepressants?” Especially since the November election I am sure the DUmmies are taking antidepressants in copious quantities. In fact, I think they probably just swallowed down whole bottles of antidepressants on Election Night after they found out that Kerry did NOT win despite their early victory celebrations when the exit polls came out. So sit back, pop your Prozac, and relax to the entertaining posts of DUmmies endeavoring to control their depressing demeanors in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, consulting a pharmacology dictionary in order to understand the many, many drug references, is in the [brackets]:

How many of us here take antidepressants?

[About 75% of all DUmmies are taking strong antidepressants and the other 25% are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Coming from a family with a strong history of mental health issues like OCD, Alcoholism, and manic depression, a state that has just cut mental health by $36 million, and nation of "mental health experts" like Tom Cruise, I wondered how many of us here are currently taking antidepressants or have family members that have been helped by these drugs? I have taken Paxil for 2 years and doubt I will ever go off the drug. Does that mean I am weak??

[It means you are a TYPICAL DUmmie.]

Effexor here. first i was on paxil but it made me too zombie-like. have been on effexor for about 4.5 years. and we are not weak. i just didn't want to feel that way anymore and decided to do something about it.

[Effexor. Hey, that sounds like a great DUmmie screen name!]

Effexor here, too. Paxil made me hear voices in my head (not the usual ones ) and made me feel very paranoid and think that I was being stalked, but Effexor XR has worked like a charm for me for the last year. No side effects except a little stomach queasiness for the first couple of weeks.

[And I know what those voices said: “Bush won! Bush won!” Yes, you had to take massive doses of Effexor to get rid of those horrible voices.]

You should hear what the voices in my head are calling you

[“DUmmie fool! DUmmie fool!”]

I Would Call You Strong. Weak would be not admitting there is a problem or thinking medicine is wrong. Strength comes with facing reality. I am a big advocate of "legal" drugs. If you were a diabetic, you would not hesitate to take your medicine; if you had high blood pressure, you would not hesitate to take your medicine; the same goes for cholesterol. Our mental health is just as important.

[All those antidepressants you are taking… DOUBLE the dosage!]

Manic here on Trazadone because everything else makes me to HYPER!!

[What gets you into the Depressive mood? Trazadont?]

I too have a family history of depression. I was diagnosed with a anxiety disorder that bordered on depression (I used to get panic attacks). I've been taking a very low dose of cilexa (sp?) for the past couple of years.

[I bet you swallowed a whole bottle of that stuff on Election Night.]

no stigma here! tom cruise can kiss my lily white ass!

[There would only be a chance for that to happen if you have a litly white MALE ass.]

prozac here, with no apologies. i spent years working out, meditating, eating perfectly, counseling, etc. etc. etc. always on the verge of suicide. i say praise prozac.

[Remember the suicide hotline number: 1-800-BUSH-WON]

Same here, although I am now taking the generic version of fluoxetine (Brand name: Prozac) as I don't have insurance and it is much cheaper. I have tried everything and it's the only thing that has saved me from going over the edge.

[I hate to be the one to tell you this but it DIDN’T work.]

I changed because Paxil affected me like electricty.. I would sudden what seemed like electrical sparks just sitting there.

[Maybe all you need is to spray yourself down with Static Guard.]

Meds at our house. And most of us know someone who has benefited from psych drugs if we aren't on them ourselves. Leave it to an ignorant @ss like Tom Cruise to put down one of the most beneficial technologies of the 20th century.

[I’m thinking that Tom Cruise was on some sort of powerful meds when he was hopping around like an idiot on Oprah’s couch.]

doc friend told me every professor at University was on meds.

[Finally. A DUmmie post that makes sense.]

I am on Strattera. It has its benefits, including some minor antidepressant functions (I'm not eating bags of potato chips daily any more)...

[So if I want to beat my potato chips addiction, I need to get addicted to Strattera?]

One other thing about Physic meds is though...For myself, it has helped my self esteem immensely. I used to have a real problem with that, but since I have been on anti depressants, it has boosted my saritonin levels to the point that I am on top of the world.

[So was Jimmy Cagney at the end of White Heat. “Hey Ma! TOP OF THE WORLD!!!”]

I'm glad these drugs are available to my husband, even though he's not a killer or a rapist, because his untreated brain has nasty side effects.

[We know, DUmmie sfexpat2000. We know.]

Cymbalta, Provigil and Lamictal. Provigil is an upper and Lamictal is a mood stabilizer.

[And Cymbalta stems the flow of your rabid drooling.]

I just switched from Prozac to Alexapro. I had been on Prozac for 11 years. I don't think i'd survive without one antidepressant or another.

[Try a Lithium cocktail for a nightcap.]

Too poor to get the right meds, have to self medicate which is not good at all

[Self medicate? Does that mean you have to knock yourself out with a rubber mallet?]

Maybe dems win it next time and someone will have the guts to get national health insurance passed. I know that untreated bipolar people are very destructive in a relationship. Hope he's a mild case. Don't give up.

[More likely the dems will LOSE next time and you will all have to TRIPLE your dosage of whatever it is you are taking now.]

Marijuana here. F*ck the Bush Administrations stance on it; I am still gonna smoke it in the privacy of my own home for medicinal uses.

[Puff the Magic DUmmie, Down by the Sea!]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-27-05 ("Here's why Reagan won the 'Greatest American' thing")

If any of you were watching the Discovery Channel’s poll results for the Greatest American last night, it was an amazing sight. When the results were finally announced at the end of the show, a dispirited Matt Lauer immediately tried to explain it away with a bunch of excuses. Why? Because the winner was none other than RONALD REAGAN. Pity poor Matt. All that hype he did for his show and the results were obviously NOT what he wanted. This morning on the Today Show, Matt looked like he just wanted to forget all about his Discovery Channel show and again came up with the excuses such as that Reagan passed away recently, etc.. However, much as Matt disliked the results of his Discover Channel poll, the DUmmies were even more upset. In fact, as soon as Matt last night gloomily announced the winner, I KNEW the DUmmies would be enraged by the results as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Here's why Reagan won the "Greatest American" thing.” So there you go again, DUmmies, with your anger in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, happy that we won one again for the Gipper, is in the [brackets]:

Here's why Reagan won the "Greatest American" thing.

[Because he got the MOST votes from Americans who admired him? But continue DUmmie Chichiri. Let us see if your excuses are any lamer than that offered up by the glum Matt Lauer last night.]

1) The poll was conducted by AOL. Hence, it was most heavily advertised on AOL.

2) AOL is the country's most popular dial-up service.

3) With broadband internet becoming steadily more popular and less expensive across the nation, the largest group of AOLers today are probably rednecks -- or, more broadly (and more politely), those who live in rural parts of the country where broadband is not available and cheap.

4) Rednecks vote Republican.

5) There was only one real Republican in the top five. Everyone else was on our side.

[Actually there were TWO Republicans in the top five since Lincoln was not only a Republican but also the FIRST Republican president. As to your BIZARRE explanation about AOL, dial-up, Rednecks, and Republicans...it makes about as much sense as saying that most people using alternating currents in their home electrical systems are Republicans. Come to think of it, the AOL bit would actually skew it towards Democrats since the head of AOL is a Leftwinger. But thanks for giving us a comedically entertaining explanation for why Reagan won the poll. It was far funnier than Matt Lauer’s dispirited excuses.]

We'll ask several million generally ignorant people to vote on something they know nothing about...how does THAT sound?

[I can already see the new DUmmie rationale as to why the Democrats consistently LOSE elections.]

Death as a career move. It's cause he died recently. That'll idealize anyone, you know what I mean?

[Sorry. You need to try harder. Matt Lauer already came up with that lame excuse.]

What's that tell you about the average I.Q. of a lot of people in this country. Those yokels just stayed home in front of their televisions to prove to the world what a bunch of backward dumbasses they are. All I can figure is that we better take a good look at the educational system in this country or a lot of people are marrying their first cousins.

[A lot of folks did take a good look at the educational system in this country and that is why homeschooling has become so popular.]

Ridiculous when MLK is in the line-up – tho tho my overall reaction is fine - Raygun won - at least * did not even make it to the Final 5. If that had happened we'd know for sure the whole contest was a set up or that we should in fact flee the country immediately (if not sooner).

[Oh go ahead and flee the country now (if not sooner).]

Well hell Vern how many Amuricans take 7 days to bury? A few younger people I know believe he was a great man based on the media orgasm that surrounded his departure.

[And all those folks who stopped on the freeway in tribute to the Gipper as the Reagan funeral procession made it’s way for the final burial were manipulated to do so by the media?]

Vote was split. I think #5 was the biggest reason. All the right-wing folks voted for reagan just because he was a republican. Which is pretty much what I figured would happen.

[Actually the vote was split between TWO Republicans. Reagan AND Lincoln. It looks like YOU need to take a good at the educational system YOU went throught.]

The reason he won was because republicans, conservative etc have no ability to be reasonable, objective and put things into context.

[Unlike the DUmmies who are ever so reasonable, objective, and put things into context.]

So tomorrow when my resident freeper starts to crow about the greatest American being Ronnie, I will simply tell him that no election in which you could vote three times in one week for your choice is worth shit and means that... shit.

[Another great lame excuse.]

When I first voted. I had trouble figuring out how to vote and accidently voted for Reagan. Ugh. It was a strange layout.

[It was that Butterfly Ballot on your cellphone keypad that threw you off you little genius you.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-24-05 ("Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors")

In the DUmmie Alternate Quantum Reality, not only is Al Gore still President as chronicled in our previous DUmmie FUnnies edition but Cuba is a WONDERFUL Workers Paradise. Yes, DUmmies actually believe that the quality of life in Castro’s Cuba is preferable to that in the USA as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors.” And how much did Cuba raise the salaries of their teachers and doctors? Read on and be amazed at the incredible generosity of Fidel Castro. So sit back, relax with some Havana Club rum which Castro never owned but still personally pocketed the money from its sale to a French company, and read this latest edition of DUmmie Love for Cuba. As usual the praises for Cuba by the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how much they pay humble correspondents in Cuba, is in the [brackets]:

Cuba Raises Salaries of Teachers, Doctors

[Ooooh! How wonderful! I can’t wait to read just how generous this raise in salaries was in the Workers Paradise.]

HAVANA (AP) - Cuba increased the salaries of its teachers, doctors and nurses, highlighting the importance the nation's communist government puts on its health and education sectors.

Workers in these fields will receive an average of 40 to 50 additional Cuban pesos a month, or the equivalent of about US$2 (euro1.7). The increase was to take affect July 1.

"It's very modest, and can be improved upon," President Fidel Castro said in a live televised address to announce the news Thursday.

[And don’t you be so modest, Fidel. This increase in salary of almost a dime a day is just too good to be true! I’m sure American doctors and teachers will be flocking to Cuba to get in on your generosity…especially if they are DUmmies. And speaking of DUmmies, let us now hear their reaction to this amazing increase in Cuban salaries…]

I'd never ever expect I'd be saying this: Cuba becoming more humane and civilized toward its workers while the US does the opposite... Yipes.

[So true, DUmmie HypnoToad. Castro is just too kind to his workers with that salary increase of almost a dime a day. And when does the DUmmie Boat head to Cuba so you all can enjoy that more humane and civilized place?]

The day is soon approaching when Americans get on rafts to flee to Cuba seeking freedom and democracy.

[Normally I would suspect this statement as coming from the sarcastic mouth of a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL but since it is kookie DUmmie IndianaGreen posting this, I can assure you that he actually DOES mean this which makes it even FUnnier.]

$2 a month more. $24 a year. Excuse me - I'm not impressed.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Stop reading the CANF propaganda! The Miami gusanos would love nothing more than to return to Cuba and replace the free health care with a US-style HMO. Do you call that progress? They will also bring all of their Republican ideology with them and proceed to rape and pillage their former compatriots, not to mention filling the Cuban airwaves with the putrid theology of fundamentalist Christianity!

[Thank you for setting the LOUSY FREEPER TROLL straight DUmmie IndianaGreen.]

So there up to what, 40 dollars a month?

[Yes, over a dollar a day! Life is BEAUTIFUL in Cuba!]

I'll take Cuba over Bush's budding gulag in America any day!

[Nobody is keeping you from leaving “Bush’s budding gulag” and moving to Cuba, DUmmie IndianaGreen.]

and most citizens live in squalor, cant speak out against the government and are so desperate to leave they make rafts out of 1950's Chevys risking DEATH to cross the 90 mile straight to reach Florida. Cuba is such a glorious place that people cant wait to drown in order to get out!

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Your tombstoning is coming soon!]

The people that flee Cuba are repeat fleers, that are trying to enter the US for the same perceived economic opportunities that motivate Mexicans to cross the border.

[And of course, DUmmie IndianaGreen, they soon learn how squalid life is in the USA compared to the Workers Paradise they escaped from.]

The value of money is VERY relative. In Cuba, this raise is significant. Not extravagant no, but significant.

[That extra dime a day (almost) goes soooo far in Cuba. Of course I am thinking if that extra dime were actually American money instead of in Cuban pesos.]

Doesn't Cuba have a higher literacy rate than the US? I swear I have read this a few places. Now that is something!

[Fantastic. Now the folks down there can spell “STARVATION.”]

They block reception of the American "exile" staffed and programmed propaganda tv station, Radio Marti from Miami. It's crap. We pay around $30,000,000.00 for the Miami right-wing extremists to create programing to send back to the same island where they're not welcome.

[Yes, those broadcasts from the States showing fully stocked supermarket shelves are nothing but a lot of right-wing propaganda.]

Also a lower infant mortality rate, a higher rate of AIDS survivors, a life expectancy that I believe just passed ours, etc etc.

[They have certainly cured the problem of obesity by making access to food very difficult.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-23-05 ("Al Gore is still president")

I have always stated that the DUmmies believe in an Alternate Reality and this THREAD titled, “Al Gore is still president,” only confirms this. Yes, the REAL reality of Bush being President with a Republican senate and congress is just too much for the DUmmies to bear so they have to set up their own Leftwing reality in the alternate universe. So let us take a psychedelic trip thru the space-time continuum to the alternate DUmmie reality where there is a President Gore and liberalism reigns supreme. As usual the DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, encountering a plethora of Black Monoliths in orbit around Jupiter, is in the [brackets]:

Al Gore is still president.

[And Michael Dukakis is still ex-president. Continue with your entertaining delusion, DUmmie Fescue4u…]

According to Quantum physics, every possiblity actually occurs in a different dimension. For example, if you come to a fork in the road and you go right, in another quantum reality another version of you goes left.

[In your quantum reality, VERY FAR left.]

So, if the theory holds. In another quantum reality, there is a nation full of Happy free people who have just reelected Al Gore to another 4 years.

[The other Quantum Reality BETRAYED US!!!]

9/11 didnt happen. No Iraq war. No Abu Gharib. Bush is still a 2 bit govenor down in Texas.

[Yeah. 9/11 didn’t happen because the terrorists were too scared of the economic sanctions that Gore would have placed on Afghanistan in retaliation.]

Or if you prefer, in another quantum reality, Kerry is getting settled into his office after roundly defeating Bush.

[I BEEEELEEEEVE that Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20 in the alternate quantum reality!]

Bush has been indicted on war crimes and proof of election fraud has been uncovered. Jobs on the increase, the stock market is rising and the troops are all coming home this weekend.

[Kerry has finally SENT in his signed Form 180…]

DAMN. I am sure am jealous of those folks in these other Quantum realitys

[Oh, I’m sure one of your many meds can help you enter the other Quantum reality. But let us now her from your fellow alternate reality DUmmies…]

Well I wish I were there instead of here then

[Isn’t that the purpose of LSD?]

I think about that all the time. What it would be like if it was Al Gore as my president now. This past November I would've proudly voted for his second term and he would be there.

[Did you attend Al Gore’s inauguration in the Jan. 20 of the Alternate Reality? It was a formal event. Coat and tie and tinfoil hat required.]

Given the number of choices/probabilities I don't really support the many worlds theory. Simply b/c of Newton's laws of conservation of energy. From where do these realities come from ? Do they exist concurrently ? If so, what separates us ? An different vibrational frequency ? Perhaps an energy signature that keys us into THIS reality.

[Perhaps you should consult Dr. Emmett Brown on how to enter an Alternate Reality in a DeLorean car.]

One could easily argue that 'observation', 'mind', and 'perception' are the only actors in the determination of reality... in which case each 'quantum' universe would become dependent upon a particular observer or combination of observations. Then one must ask 'what entities are capable of observation?'. Trees? Humans? Rocks? Paris Hilton?

[Andy Stephenson?]

Interesting... so Dennis Kucinich is president in one of these worlds. Kick ass!!!

[It’s the Evil Elf Alternate Reality.]

In one of mine Al Gore is my president and Howard Dean is my VP.

[aka the Screeching Duo.]

So if your 'multiple quantum realities' or 'multiverse' theory holds true, then humanity will have already achieved divinity and therefore omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence in any one of those universii (one is all it would take.). With the mastery of time, space, and consciousness, linear time becomes irrelevant and theoretical quantum differentiation would also become irrelevant. We have won over oblivion no matter what. Got questions?

[Yes. Is there life after birth?]

Sweeet..Maybe one of the omnipotent, omnipotent, omniscience folks can take a break and come save our asses.

[MIGHTY MOUSE! Here he comes to save the day!]

Let's think about it...What do we have to worry about if I'm right? As far as our 'Divine Descendants' are concerned, the universe is based upon sentience... now let's not get into what is and is not sentient... Therefore, reality is gauged on the experience of it's denizens. (That would be everybody and everything) So... if they even vaguely emulate us in our quest to 'remember' everything... to know everything... would they not preserve every single thought, event, action, emotion, reality that ever occurred? Hell, I would. And if the 'multiverse' possibilities are infinite, then there is a universe wherein the denizens would, will, have, and do preserve our each and every consciousness. Remember - these entities transcend all of time and space. They are masters of consciousness... and we are a giant hard drive... part of God so to speak.

[We await the English translation of your reply.]

Actually, a President named Keel is getting ready to create a Paranormal Affairs Committee to deal with the sudden appearance of vampires, superhumans, and other strange creatures that have appeared amongst us.

[Actually Dummieland IS a giant Paranormal Affairs Committee.]

sometimes I go away to my happy place where al gore is president. Can you just imagine the world right now? the way that one factor (a certain president we all know) can just mess things up. I want to go to the parallel universe!

[Yes. I know that Happy Place. It is the place where the good folks in the white coats hand you a butterfly net to play with during recess from your rubber room.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-22-05 ("Dean to GOP: In Your Face")

Few people are better than alienating large segments of the population than Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democrat National Committee. Oh, there are Democrats who give him stiff competition in the alienation department such as Hillary or Dick DUrbin but we must concede that Dean is in a class all by himself in his unique ability to self-destruct and take the rest of the Democrats down with him. For proof of this assertion, check out this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Dean to GOP: In Your Face.” Yes, we have all known over the top shmucks in our lives but Dean has taking the art of being an annoying shmuck to the national level. So speak on Dean. Although acting like a jerk will win you accolades in Dummieland, it will surely lean to the destruction of the Democrats just like it killed your candidacy early in the Iowa caucuses. As usual, the angry “in your face” rants by the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, stifling the urge to yell “YEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGHHH!!!” is in the [brackets]:

Dean to GOP: In Your Face

[GOP to Dean: Bring It On! But now let us read more about Dean’s perpetual Meltdown from this Salon article.]

If you were worried that the recent attacks on Howard Dean might have him cowed, you can rest easy this morning. In what the Boston Globe calls a defiant speech at a party fundraiser, Dean said yesterday that neither he nor the Democratic Party he leads is about to back down.

[I have never worried about Dean suffering from sanity.]

"We are going to be much tougher and in your face with the Republicans when they say things that aren't true," Dean told Democrats in Boston. He added: "We can't win if we don't fight."

[Will your “win” be as significant as your own “win” in the Iowa caucuses?]

Dean came under fire from Republicans and some members of his own party for saying that "a lot" of Republicans have "never made an honest living" and that the GOP is "pretty much a white Christian party." The browbeating and piling on reached a weird sort of apex last week when Vice President Dick Cheney -- whose name may bring to mind many things, "love" not being one of them -- said of Dean: "Maybe his mother loved him, but I've never met anybody who does." Monday in Boston, Dean responded: "I don't care if Dick Cheney likes my mother or not; we are going to fight back. I think it's great that Dick Cheney went after me. At least they know there's a Democratic Party that's not going to put up with this stuff anymore."

[Translation: “I have become such a shmuck that I am finally drawing attention to myself. YEEEEAAAAGGGHHHH!!!” …And now the comedy lines switch over to the DUmmies…]

Go, Howard! This man is the Pit Bull of the Democratic Party.

[More like the Pitt feeding the Bull of the Democrat Party.]

This Party needs Pit Bulls! Aren't you tired of the gutless wonders, the mealy-mouthed appeasers, the whimpering apologists, and the cowardly, cover-thier-asses equivocators who just worry about their viability? I am. So, I am damned grateful for Howard Dean.

[So am I. Dean means the destruction of the Democrats. YEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!]

Clark, Boxer, Conyers, Cuomo, and Dean. Take no prisoners!

[Take no votes!]

Thank you Howard Dean!!!! Dear God, what fantastic words to read this morning!!! I am so glad that SOMEONE is calling the rethugs on the carpet and NOT backing down. Holey Crickey!!! Bring it on, Dean! Bring it, on!!! When other Dems see for themselves that they won't melt, wither, die or be hated--for speaking the truth--maybe many others will follow suit. All you have to do is stand up to the bullies...that's all we've got to do. We've got the truth on our side--we just needed someone to start shouting it from the rafters!!!!!

[I don’t know about truth and rafters but Dean is certainly shouting from his padded cell…and judging from your post, you must be his cellmate.]

Keep punching the bullies in the mouth Howard! We've got your back! No surrender!

[No sanity!]

Keep swinging Howard...that's why we supported you...there is one one thing a bully understands...a Grade-A, top-to-bottom, bare-knuckle, no-holds barred, good old-fashioned ass kicking... I think Dr. Howard Dean is rolling up his sleeves and getting ready to REALLY open up a can of whup-ass in the repukelicans... Taking the high road ain't gonna get it done... Kicking them squarely in the bollocks will....

[I think one of his kicks caught you squarely in the head.]

The things that need to be said, things which shock even the most ardent free speech advocates among the Dem talking heads, can come from that brave soul and, while the Dems are tut-tutting and the berserkers are muttering and talking about "crazy, unloved Howard Dean," people are listening - including those for whom there is some hope of recovery. Howard Dean does, indeed, speak for me.

[Dean does, indeed, speak for you. Especially that “crazy” part.]

In light of experience, the berserkers will not go quietly; I expect some pretty nasty things to happen yet, given the thirty percent who will never, ever give up. They will go to their deaths proclaiming the essential rightness of selfishness, their dog-in-the-manger syndrome intact, never understanding their jobs, as human beings, include caring for those less fortunate. Such people don't realize that they don't, ultimately, own anything - even the very chemicals that fuel their bodies have made countless passes through millions of dinosaurs, monkeys, buffaloes, and, maybe, even Jesus the Christ!

[Apparently many of the chemicals that fuel your body has made many passes through vials of Lithium.]

Dean's responding EXACTLY as he should!!!!

[…Before the therapy sessions.]

Can't wait for Dean to punch Arnie the Terminator.

[Um…Dean might want to take a pass on that suggestion or it could be “Hasta la Vista, Baby!” for him.]

Keep it up, Dean! Thank you Howard! They have NOTHING! The GOP is so full of shit, they're incapable of telling the truth about ANYTHING.

[Speaking of telling the truth about ANYTHING… How is Scamdy’s recovery from his “pancreatic cancer” operation going?]

Time to rumble and play hardball! I think Dean is the best! Kick ass!

[Kick ass! The animal symbol of the Democrats.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-21-05 ("Durbin Caves")

Oh how the mighty have fallen. A few days ago the DUmmies were in ecstasy because Senator Dick DUrbin wouldn’t apologize for his idiotic remarks comparing the pampered treatment of the terrorist Gitmo detainees to prisoners of the Nazis and Soviets. However, much to their great anguish, Durbin has offered a sort of apology for his stupidity a few hours ago. It wasn’t much of an apology but it was enough to set off extreme DUmmie rage at their former hero, DUrbin, as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Durbin Caves.” As usual the DUmmie frustration as they rage against the reality of their own impotence is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, chuckling at the YET ANOTHER DUmmie Disaster, is in the [brackets]:

Durbin Caves--Repukies say it's only the beginning

[Yes, it’s only the BEGINNING of MANY DUmmie frustrations to come.]

on lou dobbs--they showed dick's apology on the Senate floor. the reporter said something like the repubs are now going to go after nancy pelosi and howard dean. thanks for setting such a good precedent. we stuck up for what you said, dick. we emailed & letter wrote in your defense.

[SNIFF! DUrbin has now been relegated to the DUmmie DUstbin.]

Why did he cave? What possible excuse could he have given? He had the truth on his side. DAMN!

[Only in the DUmmieland Dimension could comparing the treatment of the air conditioned Gitmo detainees to the prisoners of the Nazis or Soviets be considered to be the truth.]

There was and is no reason for us to apologize...for anything. The Republicans plan is to do ANYTHING, to cry victim over EVERYTHING, and tell the truth about NOTHING, to keep people distracted and misinformed. Dean, please, PUNCH THESE BASTARDS OUT!

[Stand by! Your rabies shot is on the way!]

I apologize that our government condones torture

[Is that you, Dick DUrbin?]

Anyone in Illinois want to run for Durbin's seat? Find a good candidate and I'll help you raise money. At some point we have to face reality and accept that some of our Dem leaders are beyond rehabilitation and need to be replaced. Wishing and hoping they'll eventually see the light of day isn't going to happen.

[Maybe you should send some of those suspect Democrats to Re-education Camps.]

He has no fight, no will, no courage. Issues are great, but only if you have the will to make them happen. If Durbin can't fight or learn to outmaneuver the GOP, what good is his stand on the issues?

[DUrbin is always good for laughs.]

You Want To Replace Durbin? DU'ers Officially Makes Me Sick. Never thought I'd see the day that this place and the people posting here would sink this low.

[Actually the DUmmies sink that low on a daily basis.]

Dean has already said he's going to be in the GOP's Face and call them on their bogus crap.

[Which reminds me. What are Dean’s visiting hours over at Happy Farms?]

Let's hope that no other dems will use nazi references in their speeches

[Yes. Let’s hope MORE Democrat careers are destroyed.]

When you apologize, you show them signs of weakness and they attack again and again and again.

[It sounds like you need an attack of sanity.]

hell.....why even have a party? we need another way to get screwed

[Then spend an enchanting evening with Barney Frank.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-21-05 ("Don't let them take the Hitler away from us!")

Senator Dick DUrbin has caught a lot of flack for his silly comparison of the well fed Gitmo terrorist detainees to the prisoners of the Nazis and the Soviets. The general consensus is that it is ALWAYS foolhardy to make comparisons of today’s America to the Nazi regime. Well, let me amend that to saying this is the general consensus everywhere EXCEPT in that asylum known as DUmmieland. In fact, the DUmmies seem to act like they have a proprietary interest in keeping the ability to make such absurd comparisons as can be seen in this THREAD titled, “Don't let them take the Hitler away from us!” It sounds like the DUmmies want copyright protection for using the Hitler comparisons. As usual the bizarre DUmmie comparisons are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, assuring the DUmmies that they can keep “the Hitler,” is in the [brackets]:

Don't let them take the Hitler away from us!

[Okay! Okay! And you can keep the Stalin and the Pol Pot if it makes you feel better.]

Think about it this way. I say ALL Hitler comparisons are valid. Hitler is the quintessential example that is seared into our memories of the insane corrupt power of totalitarianism. It represents the ultimate evil - deception of good intentions. Thus Hitler comparisons are an essential comparison. All it says is "let us not get on that hill of ice again".

[FUnnie but the one who fell down the slippery slope was Dick DUrbin for his dopey comparison of the air conditioned Gitmo detainees to the prisoners of the Nazis.]

If, as has been suggested on The Daily Show and Lou Dobbs, Hitler comparisons are out of order, then it disables the most powerful and obvious comparison.

[I’m all for DUrbin and DUmmies continuing to make fools of themselves.]

The victims of the Holocaust and those who fought totalitarian power have earned the right to reference Hilterm a right that is being lost because it has been distorted by the retort that nothing could be as bad as Hitler - "it's not as bad as the Holocaust". Well, the fact that is shrouded is that it was a slow but steady march into fascism. Hitler wasn't as bad as Hitler when he started. We as their progeny have inherited the DUTY of making comparisons to Hilter where ever we see them.

[Ah yes! Before the Bad Hitler there was the Better Hitler according to the DUmmies which they use to justify DUrbinizing themselves.]

As soon as they take away our abaility to associate with that memory, it enables them to repeat it.

[Perhaps you should copyright “the Hitler” and charge royalty payments from all those who make Dopey DUrbin type comparisons.]

So, no, I say this frog will remain ready to jump if the temperature increases only slightly. We need to respect the slope before we start the slipping.

[I say that frog needs to respect the temperature of the pot he is stewing in.]

Our situation now is comparable in many ways to Germany in the mid to late 30's. We need to recognize our situation for what it is, and prevent it from getting worse.

[Is that you, Dick DUrbin?]

I agree. Hitler should remind us that it can happen ANYWHERE. Germany was a nation which ELECTED its public servants, It was an EDUCATED nation, A WORLD LEADER in SCIENCE and INDUSTRY...And look what happened there. All it takes is some fear-mongering, a crappy economy, and a "leader" without a consciense. Oh yeah, and FLAGS. Lots of flags!

[Oh, yeah and FLAGS. I shudder in fear of the impending fascism every time I drive past a car lot.]

The Hitler stuff is not only valid but its true. The USA is occupied by the Nazis..you can callem busheviks ,BFEE,neo-cons, traitors BUT its a nazi occupation and all the insiders like Dobbs know it.!!

[It sounds like your body is occupied by the meds.]

It's the old duck thing. If it waddles like a duck and it quacks like a duck...etc. Loyality oaths. Fascism wrapped snugly in the flag. Snipping away our rights. Forcing their morality down our throat. If there is just a sliver of justification for comparison, then we ought to do just what we are doing, speaking up. We're stopping evil before it gets to the point that it did back then.

[And in your case it is the old Daffy Duck thing.]

I believe he is as bad a president as we have ever had, and I believe his contempt for working Americans (including our military folk) is both infinitely malicious and probably without precedent. But a more historically apt analogy is to some of our own (incipiently fascist) political bosses -- especially those who, in servitude to the ever-expanding greed of monopolist overlords, played off one minority against another in the interest of maximizing oppression and exploitation (just as Bush plays off Dominionist/Fundamentalist Christians against women and gays). And fascism does not inevitably a Hitler make. Think not Hitler but George Wallace, Bull Connor or even Robert K. Shelton -- the third name that of the Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan during the Civil Rights Movement years, the aptness of the comparison growing from the fact Bush and his followers are surely as hateful to gays as Shelton and his night-riders were to blacks.

[Don’t let them take the Shelton away from us!]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-20-05 ("Kerry will really let the Swift Boat Vets have it any day now")

Sometimes just the titles alone of certain DUmmie threads can cause an incredible amount of laughter as is the case of this THREAD titled, “Kerry will really let the Swift Boat Vets have it any day now.” Admit it. You were already laughing just reading that title. The comments of the DUmmies on this thread are merely anticlimactic since the punchline has already been delivered from the get-go. However, despite getting our laughs from the outset, it is still amusing to read these DUmmie comments in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying a great punchline that comes at the beginning rather than the end, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry will really let the Swift Boat Vets have it any day now. Just trust me on this. Insider info. He's really gonna nail them good. Anyday now.

[Any day now it will happen. Right after Kerry is inaugurated as President on Jan. 20. Yeah, that’s when he is really going to nail those Swift Boat Vets good.]

My immediate impression, also. 'A day late and a dollar short' also came to mind.

[Timing is everything. And Kerry is way more than “a day late” on “nailing” the Swift Boat Vets.]

I'm Still Waiting .....and waiting...and waiting..ZZZZZZZZZ

[Your siesta will take a VERY LONG time. About as long as waiting for Kerry to be inaugurated as president.]

For the sake of this country...I really hope so!

[Nice try but the funniest line has already been delivered in the title of this thread.]

I heard he's gonna git a big stick and whup 'em upside the head.

[Yeah, as soon as he returns from Cambodia.]

Yeah, when his nursing home has a dodgeball game with theirs. He's really gonna let them have it, so they better watch out!

[They better watch out. Kerry is going to get them. Someday. Maybe.]

I sure wish that asshat would stop running for president. Maybe if he felt he had nothing to lose he would find the courage to act in the best interests of the country, and not his own ambitions.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]

It just seems to me that every couple of days we get a rash of "Kerry is really gonna get them" posts--and then, just like during the election (most noticeably beginning with the Swift Vets), he doesn't do a damned thing. The latest is his vow to really let bush have it over DSM.

[Yeah, that latter bit provided some great laughs for a recent DUFU edition.]

there are two possible explanations for Kerry's behavior he's so stupid he makes the bushturd look like a particle physicist OR he's complicit with the neocons to convince us (falsely) that this is still a democratic republic

[I like the explanation that Kerry is just plain stupid but I am open to the suggestion that he is a secret agent of Karl Rove.]

Looks more and more like a preprogrammed patsy than opposition to me.

[Preprogrammed by Karl Rove: “You WILL go out on the campaign trail and make yourself look like a complete shmuck!”]

I'm so disappointed in Kerry. I would never vote for him again. He's lost the very admirable fire he had during Vietnam. It'a shame he listened to the advice of the pansies at the DLC.

[How about losing that admirable fire he had when he was in Cambodia, an experience that is seared, SEARED into his memory from the time he was sent there during Christmas of 1968 by President Nixon?]

The DSM should be his number one goal

[Kerry will be as on top of the DSM as he was in refuting the Swift Boat Vets.]

do you think Kerry is providing positive, proactive leadership?

[Absolutely. Kerry will provide positive, proactive leadership any day now.]

180 took care of the Swiftees. They're toothless now.

[Yeah, Kerry signed his Form 180 and he will be actually SENDING it in any day now. Just look for Kerry’s secret hand signal that this will be happening.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-20-05 (DSM RIP)

A quick glance at the DUmmieland forum would tell a visitor that something is amiss in the form of a definite lack of a certain recent obsession. Yes, GONE are the many many Downing Street Memo (DSM in crypto DUmmieSpeak) threads. So what happened? After all, wasn’t it just last week that Pied Piper Pitt breathlessly declared June 16 to be the day that would change history and that nothing would ever be the same again because of a non-official hearing conducted by John Conyers in a congressional broom closet? What has happened to cause the early, unlamented DEATH of the DSM was the revelation yesterday that the DSM are about as authentic as the Texas Air National Guard letters of CBS News fame. The British reporter breaking this DSM story typed up copies from copies of the originals he made, then returned the original memos (or so he claimed) and then very conveniently DESTROYED his copies. I believe the name of this British reporter is Michael Smith but “Bill Burkett” would suffice. I originally believed that the DSM saga in DUmmieland would last until about early July until it slowly faded into the insignificance of the Jeff Gannon “scandal” in terms of having any impact on national politics here. Little did I realize that the DSM would be killed in the crib the very first weekend following Conyers’ non-hearing. So let us now enjoy the spectacle in this THREAD titled, “Are Downing Street memos authentic or elaborate hoax?” of sputtering Coyote DUmmies biting Road Runner dust YET AGAIN in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, resisting the urge to shout “BEEP! BEEP!” is in the [brackets]:

Are Downing Street memos authentic or elaborate hoax? (Rathergate attempt)

[BEEP! BEEP! (Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.)]

First they ignore, then they mock, now trying to challenge authenticity.... Who saw this coming?

[Karl Rove. It is all part of the MASTER plan. And now let us read the quoted article in WorldNetDaily.Com.]

”Are the highly publicized Downing Street memos authentic government documents that show the Bush administration lied about pre-war intelligence on weapons of mass destruction?”

[Yes. The Downing Street Memos are definitely as authentic as the Texas Air National Guard letters of CBS News fame.]

“Or are they part of an elaborate hoax – akin to CBS's infamous National Guard memos on George W. Bush's military service?”

[Perhaps we should consult Mary Mapes on this question.]

“Many of the same blogs that successfully challenged Dan Rather's documents are now questioning whether the Downing Street memos are for real.”

[According to Dan Rather, the Texas Air National Guard letters are real despite all evidence to the contrary so perhaps Rather can verify the authenticity of the DSM.]

"’Until tonight ... no one questioned the authenticity of the documents provided by the Times of London,’ said CaptainsQuartersBlog, one of the sites behind the Rather scandal. ‘That has now changed, as Times reporter Michael Smith admitted that the memos he used are not originals, but retyped copies.’”

[Did he FAX in those retyped copies from a Kinkos in Amarillo, TX? And now let us view the DUmmie comments in full anguish mode.]

They are desperate...hey even Drudge is trying to push this angle. Desperate. If they want to add exposure to the story, be my guess

[Didn’t you make the same quote following the exposure of the TANG fake letters?]

Obviously we need to fight back when they do, but we have the evidence on our side.

[Powerful, powerful evidence. Retyped copies of original copies that were conveniently destroyed. Yes, present it to congress to be laughed out of the Impeachment committee.]

Evidence? We don' need no steenkin evidence.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of complete honesty!]

but after the success of Rathergate--people are ready to believe they
might be a hoax. Beware!! We can not dismiss these claims but meet with head on with the facts.

[Reporters FAKING evidence? Who ever would have suspected such a thing?]

Perhaps we can make this backfire on freepers

[It could make the Freepers choke on their own laughter at seeing yet ANOTHER Acme Co. bomb in the form of the fake DSM exploding in the face of the DUmmie Coyotes.]

Cried "fraud" er "wolf" one too many times. When these memos stand up and deflect all charges of "fakes!", the freepers will not have as much credibility after jumping the gun on this case.

[Actually not crying “wolf” but “coyote.” Perhaps Lucy Ramirez will stand up and verify the authenticity of the DSM.]

WTF???? These freeps will stop at nothing to keep their esteemed (hack, cough, cough, hack) leader in power, until he screws ALL of us over. Then they'll be screaming in the streets that they never voted for him.

[Yeah. Right after you hit the streets screaming you never heard of the DSM.]

rotflmao!!!!! Poor rightwingnuts; one-trick morans! LOVIN' it! And laughing my ass off at the stupidest MFers on the planet!

[It’s HILARIOUS!!! How can anyone doubt the retyped authenticity of copies that were conveniently destroyed?]

Oh yeah, by the way, MIKE SMITH had them retyped. To protect his sources. But don't tell the rightwingnuts! ROTFLMAO!!! OMG they are just sooooo STOOPID!

[ROTFLMAO at the sight of yet another Charlie Brown DUmmie flying in the air after Lucy (Ramirez) pulls away the football YET AGAIN.]

These leaked documents are in fact 100% authentic. NONE of them are forgeries, NONE of them are discredited.

[They are all original retyped copies.]

Dude, Not a single doc from that CBS story was discredited. None has been proven by any credible judge to be a forgery. NOT ONE. In fact, scholarly analysis (not bloggerly) leans toward authenticity. Quit repeating a GOP talking-point.

[Is that you, Dan Rather?]

HEY FREEPS! MAKE THE CLOWN PRINCE ANSWER THE QUESTIONS AND WE'LL ALL KNOW THE TRUTH!

[HEY DUMMIES! YOU WANT THE TRUTH? OKAY, I’LL GIVE YOU THE TRUTH! THE DOWNING STREET MEMOS ARE AS AUTHENTIC AS THE BUSH TEXAS AIR NATIONAL GUARD LETTERS!]

We will have to see how this story continues to play out. I personally am on the edge of my seat.

[And about to fall off the cliff…]

And they'd know Michael Smith himself had the originals retyped (and handed back the originals) to protect his sources.

[Did he hand the originals back to Lucy Ramirez?]

The docs were retyped. And the originals returned to the source.

[Michael Smith could have simply photocopied the originals and then just inked out the sections where he wanted to protect the source but Smith likes doing the extra tedious task of typing them all up.]

No they're not destroyed. Mike Smith had the originals RETYPED to protect his sources, and he handed the originals back to his source(s).

[As I stated, Smith just loves retyping so much he didn’t bother to ink out sections of the copies to protect his source.]

Freepers are getting desperate! Now they are trying this pathetic, utterly contemptible attempt to revive their old "glory days" of Rathergate.
It doesn't work with the DSM. The case can't not even be compared, much less applied even same logic. Two different cases and different types of documents here. Apples and oranges. What a bunch of morons. Their desperation is showing.

[Keep repeating that mantra. It might actually help to stem the flow of nervous sweat pouring down your face.]

I agree that the core of the bushBots will say this is smoke n mirrors, and will swear that the documents are forgeries. We need to get enough votes to impeach. That is the big giant hurdle.

[Yeah, bringing about articles of impeachment based on fake memos in a majority Republican congress would tend to be a big giant hurdle.]

I notice the British use 'memo' and 'minutes' interchangeably in referring to the DSM. Maybe because it is, in effect, a highly classified "inter-office memorandum" that just happens to contain the minutes from a secret meeting?

[Would it make you feel better if instead of calling them fake memos, we call them fake minutes?]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-17-05 ("DUrbin is NOT APOLOGIZING!!!!")

Once again it looks like the Democrats are well on their way to committing political suicide. This time the self-inflicted wound has been performed by Senator Dick DUrbin of Illinois who has accused the USA of severe mistreatment of the poor Guantanamo prisoners and then compared such “torture” to that practiced by the Nazis or the Soviets in their Gulags. Yes, pity the poor Gitmo prisoners freezing in 68 degree air conditioning and being stuffed with primo food. If prisoners of the Nazis or the Soviets “suffered” such treatment for just 10 minutes they would have thought they went to heaven. Of course the biggest cheerleaders of DUrbin are none other than the DUmmies as you can see in this THREAD titled, “DUrbin is NOT APOLOGIZING!!!!” So let us now watch the DUmmies sink the Democrats in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, shocked at the Rice Pilaf torture of the Gitmo prisoners, is in the [brackets]:

DUrbin is NOT APOLOGIZING!!!! He is ripping them up, call to thank him

[Thank you Senator DUrbin for ensuring that the Democrats will be losing plenty of seats in the next election thanks to your absurd comments.]

Oh man, it great, putting the FBI Document in context, talking about the torture and how it was approved by this adminstration.

[“Please stop torturing me with having to make a choice between eating glazed chicken or sirloin steak!”]

He is not going to take back calling them NAZIs!! WOO HOO!

[WOO! HOO! Kiss any chance of Democrats gaining seats in 2006 goodbye!]

He's gonna get a lot of angry calls from freepers, they make sure to let their asshole voices be known, call Durbin to counter that shit, let him know that you like what he is saying, you approve and that you support him.

[Thank you, Senator DUrbin for making your fellow Democrats unelectable!]

Yay Dems with balls! I f*cking love it!!!

[Those Dems with balls will soon be bouncing off padded cell walls.]

This guy's got George Galloway in him!!!!

[Plus a touch of Dr. Kevorkian in him for administering assisted suicide to the Democrats.]

Durbin is being a man. Good for him!!! Other DEMs take note of DUrbin: No apologies, no surrender- the Base DEMANDS no less.

[No sanity- the Base DEMANDS no less.]

The Dems are getting some spine at last and learning that you must NEVER apologize to Neocons, or acknowledge their rhetoric and lies!!
No apologies from Dean!! And now none from Durbin!

[Dean and DUrbin. Two Democrat peas in a padded cell pod.]

framed NO MORE!! we gotta take it to 'em every time. DUNK! SWISH!

[FLUSH! (Sound of the Democrat Party future.)]

Dick Durbin is a real man and a real Democrat. I'm so proud he represents me and my family in the Senate.

[Dick DUrbin---the DUmmie senator.]

Hope that we can counteract the freeps.

[DUrbin needs no help to sink himself.]

As a daughter of a Holocaust Survivor and a trained historian, I know this camp is not unlike Bergen Belsen.

[Yeah. It’s a known historical fact that the Bergen Belsen prisoners were tortured with 68 degree air conditioning during the summer and forced to eat large helpings of rice pilaf and glazed chicken.]

Obama could learn a thing or two from Durbin

[How to commit political hari kari.]

I'm so proud of Sen Durbin. Damn, I'm proud of him!

[I’m so proud he smeared the USA!]

When it comes to the official imprimatur on torture, there is undisputed evidence that Rumsfeld and AG Gonzales authorized it!

[It’s horrible. Rumsfeld and Gonzales authorized the horrific ban on prisoner backrubs in Gitmo.]

Durbin has completely pulled the rug out!!!

[…from under his own feet.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-16-05 ("The DSM is just getting your false hopes up")

I occasionally award a Kewpie Doll to those DUmmies posting a reply which demonstrates a brief moment of mental clarity. However, I must now present a Kewpie Doll to DUmmie ZombyWoof for posting an entire THREAD titled, “The DSM is just getting your false hopes up,” which incredibly for DUmmieland actually shows a sharp perception of reality. Unfortunately for DUmmie ZombyWoof, it could lead to his tombstoning in Dummieland since his thread is almost as taboo as mentioning “pancreatic cancer” in relation to Andy Stephenson. In any event, we can now get a sneak preview of the incredible depression that will sink in at DUmmieland when they realize that the Downing Street Memo will have about as much effect on bringing about a Bush impeachment as the Jeff Gannon “scandal.” As usual the reality-challenged DUmmie posts (except for those by DUmmie ZombyWoof) are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who watched the DSM hearing sink the moment that nutjob Ray McGovern opened his mouth, is in the [brackets]:

The DSM is just getting your false hopes up

[And you win a Kewpie Doll, DUmmie ZombyWoof, for posting an entire thread that is entirely based on REALITY…a rarity in Dummieland.]

I can hear the crash of disappointment now, as the DSM will fade away...

[That crash of disappointment began the moment that nutjob Ray McGovern opened his mouth at the DSM hearing. What was the name of his organization? Intelligence Officials for Sanity? What a hoot! McGovern was neither intelligent nor sane. Especially the latter. However he did provide GREAT comedic entertainment.]


This reminds me of 2002, 2003, when Enron, no wait, the 9/11 Commission Hearings, no wait, Valerie Plame, no wait... *insert whatever "Bush Is Toast" story du jour was making the rounds*

[And don’t forget the Pitt promoted legal filings in Ohio as well as the Jeff Gannon “scandal.” DUmmies were celebrating only to crash back hard to earth as will happen again with the DSM.]

It would be fantastic if I were wrong, but I am not, unfortunately.

[Actually, you are RIGHT and it is FANTASTIC, DUmmie ZombyWoof.]

There will not be any impeachment (with the Repukes controlling both houses of Congress?), there will not be any public outcry for justice, and the war in Iraq will drag on... without a draft.

[Oh yeah. The draft. When was that supposed to have taken place FOR SURE? Last April 1?]

I've seen this pattern too many times on these very boards. At least I haven't seen any "drip drip drip, just like Watergate!" threads. Some lessons have been learned, perhaps.

[Ah yes! The old familiar “I BEEEELEEEEEVE” pattern followed inevitably by utter disappointment. FUN to watch!!!]

But hey, knock yourself out. Just know I told you all this already 2 or 3 years ago. 2005 is no different. Not even abysmally low ratings for The Unchosen One will sink him. The rat bastard is around until at least January 20, 2009. America is asleep, and a feeding tube of "news" propaganda is inserted up its ass, in perpetuity.

[January 20, 2009. The date of President Cheney’s inauguration.]

If I am wrong (and I am not), I will own up to it and apologize publically, right here.

[Don’t sweat it, DUmmie ZombyWoof. You WON’T have to apologize because you are dead on right about the DSM letting the DUmmies down AGAIN.]

Agreed the draft will be needed for the sheeple to wake up and we had a full day of arguing this

[The last time I checked, DUmmie nadinbrzezinski, the purpose of the draft would be for MILITARY reasons and not to fulfill some sort of Leftist wet dream.]

But you see...There isn't going to be any draft.

[Thanx for providing your fellow DUmmie a Reality Check, DUmmie ZombyWoof.]

Speaking of uncomfortable truth it is all for not if we don't get paper verified voting.

[Speaking of uncomfortable truth, what about paper verified Andy Stephenson medical records?]

You've never seen anything like this before...Now moreover 1,000,000 signatures......Letter to be tacked on the white house, and more polls plummeting abound in every direction. Congress just reversed the appeal on the patriot act. It's time to start preparing....

[…for your institutionalization when the DSM goes nowhere.]

The whole Gannon/Guckert thing was something I never believed would go anywhere. It wasn't enough to really do any damage to this regime. I posted as much here at DU. Not many cared to hear my skepticism.

[Ah! I remember those times. All of DUmmieland was celebrating the imminent impeachment of Bush because of the Jeff Gannon “scandal.”]

My reality is healthy. I stay on an even keel, and refuse to get on the roller coaster ride of "OMG! We're UP! OMG! We're doomed!". It's a terrible way to live, but to each their own (which is more courtesy than I am being afforded by the detractors).

[However, those rollercoaster threads are the most FUN to read in DUmmieland. I remember the DUmmies breaking out the champagne bottles in early December because they were SURE something obscure in Ohio would force their electoral votes to go to Kerry who would thus WIN the Presidency. This was followed by a big sob session followed once again but something equally insignificant that sent DUmmie spirits soaring again.]

I don't know when or how, but this administration will face a reckoning.

[Tell it to President Cheney on Jan. 20, 2009.]

I think the mood of the country is "ripe" for the Downing Street minutes. If there isn't more outrage it's only because not many people know about it yet, but that's going to change after tomorrow.

[I guess you hadn’t heard nutjob Ray McGovern open his yap at the DSM hearing when you made your post.]

ZombyWolf, why are you so dedicated to saving the rest of us from our delusions of hope? Do you have any constructive ideas? If so, please present them.

[Yes. Give up hope. NOW!]

I will say though, that giving people a strong dose of the unpleasant truth is in itself a constructive idea. How can the truth be otherwise? I learn from history, and I present my own version of it unvarnished. I suspect that the "constructive" message you are looking for is more of the same "rah rah, they are all toast now!" rhetoric that I abhor. The majority of opinion in GD is counter to mine. I would not be true to myself if I assented to those views just for the sake of harmony, comfort, and convenience.

[The preceding DUmmieland pep talk by DUmmie ZombyWoof has been brought to you by Cyanide, the suicide pill of choice for distraught Leftists.]

Just remember that truth is stranger than fiction and the end of this story will probably be more sordid, sick and surreal than any Hollywood hack could imagine.

[I am picturing the story to end with DUmmie Lemmings leaping off the cliff, accompanied by the soothing tunes played by Pied Piper Pitt.]

I think I will bookmark this thread and trot it out around October or so. DSM will be nostalgia by then, a la Valerie Plame.

[Or you could always check it out in the DUmmie FUnnies Blog, DUmmie ZombyWoof.]

The three I's are my hope. Impeach, Indict and Imprison.

[You left out the fourth “I” describing yourself: Insane.]

Good luck with your rallies. Although I am sorry to say they will not get Bush one step closer to impeachment.

[At least those DUmmie rallies get us a step closer to Leftist Meltdown.]

Damnit! I HATE What you are saying. But, I fear that it is true, and yes, I'll be a sucker one more time.

[Lucy is awaiting you with the football one more time, Charlie Brown.]

I am not impressed with 500k signatures. In a land of 300 million, that isn't even a ripple from a stream of piss in the pool.

[Great quote, DUmmie ZombyWoof. Do I have your permission to shamefully plagiarize it?]

My last four words on the subject: WORLD TRIBUNAL ON IRAQ

[My last four words on the subject: SEEK MENTAL HELP NOW!

Any "World Tribunal" will be about as effective as a World Court ruling when it comes to how this empire conducts its affairs. It ain't goin' nowhere!

[DUmmie ZombyWoof demonstrating once again that he has yet to lose his surprising mental clarity.]

You may be right. But you'd be definitely right if we did nothing. I'll take a pass on standing still.

[That was Pied Piper Pitt piping in. Pitt knows that DUmmie ZombyWoof is right about the DSM going nowhere but will stick with it because it draws attention to himself. And isn’t that what it is all about?]

Thank you Will! Now I go to sleep. Why are you still up?? Sheesh...

[Because Pitt has never gone to sleep…at least since April.]

"THE WORM IS TURNING!"

"DRIP DRIP DRIP!"

"ANY DAY NOW"

"BUSH IS TOAST"

[“I BEEELEEEVE!”]

DSM is much ado about nothing. There is no smoking gun here. Compared to Ohio, which went nowhere, there is nothing of substance to the DSM. I will be forgotten by the majority who acknowledge it is insignificant.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I started on DU in October of 2003 and was quickly overwhelmed with the daily, "This means the end of Bushco" threads... I'm naturally very pessimistic, but even I got caught up in all the hysteria. I remember even posting a few weeks before the election that suddenly, I was cautiously optimistic. And, of course, the optimism that I hadn't had since high school (I'm 38 now) was shattered on Election Day.

[You and Susan Estrich.]

You're probably right about this...I can't count how many times I've had MY hopes up about something only to have them smashed...but pouring cold water on OTHER people's hopes isn't doing them any favors.

[Yes. Better to feed them the Feel Good Soma so they can live in their own alternate reality.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-16-05 ("Wow! Kerry just keeps slugging away on the DSM, eh?")

Please forgive me! I have recently been stating that the Downing Street Memos (DSM) would have NO EFFECT on the political situation. Actually I was partly right. The DSM will have NO EFFECT on Bush. HOWEVER it is already having a HUGE effect on Kerry in that it is further killing his credibility with the Leftists. A couple of weeks ago, Kerry loudly stated that he would bring up the Downing Street Memo in the Senate and in TYPICAL fashion quickly backed down. As a result, as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD sarcastically titled, “Wow! Kerry just keeps slugging away on the DSM, eh?” the DUmmies have become disillusioned by yet another Kerry promise that he ends up backing away from. This is pretty much of a pattern with Kerry. Make enough of a promise to satisfy the Leftists he needs for the next Presidential primary campaign and then FAIL to follow through. I fully expect that Kerry will make another promise in the future to the general acclaim of the DUmmies who will typically exclaim something like, “Kerry got our back,” only to have him let them down ONCE AGAIN. If today’s DSM hearing gets enough of a response in DUmmieland it won’t surprise me to learn of Kerry showing up in Lafayette Park and trying to hog the show from the other Leftists before pulling yet another Form 180. In fact, I have decided to call the habit of Kerry making a promise only to back away from it, “Pulling a Form 180.” So let us now read of the angry DUmmie responses to Kerry pulling a Form 180 on the Downing Street Memo in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, enjoying the spectacle of Kerry doing multiple 180s on the DSM, is in the [brackets]:

Wow! Kerry just keeps slugging away on the DSM, eh?

[It’s called “Pulling a Form 180.”]

He just keeps at it with those fiery, passionate speeches and massive media blitz, just like he promised 2 weeks ago...

[That was then, this is now. You are actually expecting Kerry to somehow follow thru on a promise?]

HUH! WHA!? Urrgghhh! Omigod...

Jeez I must have drifted off again. I was having one of those farfetched dreams again where Kerry actually followed through for us.

Oh well, back to reality....

[The reality is that Kerry will follow thru for you DUmmies the moment he signs and sends in his Form 180 which he promised to do LONG AGO.]

Big mouth, limp execution the Kerry curse

[Ugly face, limp jockstrap, the Kerry curse.]

Yeah, he only has $45 million left over from last year. God forbid he USE some of it to DO SOMETHING.

[Snowboard maintenance can be VERY expensive.]

This is from Raw Story:

"When I go back on Monday, I am going to raise the issue," Kerry told Massachusetts' Standard Times newspaper last week. "I think it's a stunning, unbelievably simple and understandable statement of the truth and a profoundly important document that raises stunning issues here at home.”

[And how many Mondays have gone by since Kerry made that promise? Maybe he means NEXT Monday or the one after that or…]

john kerry reporting for....zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzz

[Kerry will speak about the DSM just as soon as his Swiftboat reaches Cambodia.]

Come On! If so why did he announce his plan to bring it up on the senate floor? I guess we should stroll on in there! He likes it both ways. He says he'll do something and folks like you rally around him. Then he takes no action so, it cannot be tied to him later! Win/Win for him! Lose/lose for us!

[The lose/lose part for you is what I enjoy most!]

He Said He Would Bring It Up On The Senate Floor A Week Ago Last Monday. On that day his office announced that they wouldn't do it that day. They promised he'd do it ASAP. He gave dates and laid out his plan to deliver a speech on the issue on the senate floor. So far he has failed to live up to those much reported comments.

[Kerry would have spoken about the DSM on the Senate floor but he has been much too busy spinning how he signed his Form 180 without really signing his Form 180.]

Give him time. He said he would "raise the issue". He evidently is "raising" it with other Senators, to get them on board, instead of freelancing it on his own (which pisses people off in most jobs that rely on teamwork, don'cha know). Don't you think that, once he gets all the signatures he thinks he can, he'll deliver the letter with a public statement of some sort?

[Yes. Give Kerry time. Another year or two or three or…]

Still waiting for him and Edwards to come through on their very public promise to COUNT EVERY VOTE. Has he had enough time for that? I she still working under the radar? Should we pencil in a mention of this sometime in 2010? This be patient and give him time BS is just that. It sounds awfully familiar too.

[Yes it sure does sound awfully familiar. Kerry WILL sign and deliver his Form 180. Just give him time.]

Why announce that you'll address something when all you have in mind is a brief, subdued comment?

[I saw that subdued comment in the way Kerry adjusted his tie. It was the secret signal he is sending out that he is on top of the DSM. Look for those secret Kerry signals.]

Typical Kerry! I Got Flames For Suggesting He Might Punk Out! Here I sit still waiting for him to keep a promise. Suspect I'll be waiting for quite a while! Dems that supported his nomination, supported a looser! It could have been so different!

[Yeah. You could have nominated Kucinich.]

You can't name one lawmaker who has effected our government more positively in the last 35 years than John Kerry has. He helped to end three wars and investigated and exposed more government corruption than any lawmaker in modern history and YOU think you earned the right to treat him like a piece of shit.

[What alternate reality are you living in? The fact is that until his Presidential run, Kerry has spent most of his senate career sleepwalking.]

I say we give Kerry a chance for a few days- lets see how his actions in the senate pan out.

[Better amend the “days” to “years.”]

If Kerry REALLY CARED about the DSM, wouldn't he sign the Conyers' letter and march with him to the WhiteHouse tomorrow in front of the cameras? Surely he knows about the Conyers Letter and the tremendous GrassRoots involvement.

[You left out Pied Piper Pitt. In his own mind, he is the most important of the camera hogs.]

To be fair, he has been raising the issue with other Senators and building support for a DSM investigation. One news report said a Kerry staffer "predicted" Kerry would speak publicly after raising the issue with his colleagues.

[Look for the way Kerry adjusts the Windsor knot in his tie. It is the secret signal that he is raising the DSM issue with his colleagues.]

He's got our back.

[My baby got back. (Part 23 now available on Video & DVD.)]

He's a phony.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for his accurate perception of Kerry’s character!]

Oh I get it , this is practice for tomorrows freep show , brilliant idea, they will be coming at us from all angles tomorrow. We need a little warm up.

[I give you credit for knowing you will be Freeped at Lafayette Park. Watch out for those Freepers. They will be coming at you from all angles.]

I do think he should sue the Swift Boat Liars for slander and libel though, and I've written as much to him. Hopefully he will do it.

[All Kerry has to do is sign and send in his Form 180 to prove those Swift Boat “Liars” wrong. Any day, any year now he will do so.]

Sorry to say, but I think we need to look elsewhere for leadership in our party.

[Try looking at Barbara Boxer and Dennis Kucinich.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-15-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Self-Morphs From Nehru To Martin Luther)

Pied Piper Pitt’s bloated sense of absurd self-importance has allowed himself to morph from Jawaharial Nehru to Martin Luther within the course of just a day as you can see in his hyper-bloviated DUmmie THREAD titled, “Nail It to the White House Door.” Unfortunately for Pitt this whole Downing Street Memo shtick is going nowhere so in a few weeks we can expect him to morph down to Bozo the Clown when he turns himself into a laughingstock yet again. Sorry, Pitt, your ridiculous comparison of yourself with Martin Luther holds no water. The last time I checked, after Martin Luther nailed Ninety-Five theses to the church door, he didn’t follow it up by nailing Ninety-Five retractions to the same door as would have been your style. So let us now watch the absurdity of Pied Piper Pitt once again making believe he is an important historical figure in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, morphing himself into H.L. Mencken to expose Pitt’s foibles, is in the [brackets]:

Nail It to the White House Door

[Something has already been nailed into your head 95 times, Pitt, but continue with your comedy act…]

Almost five hundred years ago, Martin Luther nailed his Ninety-Five Theses to the door of the Wittenberg Church, initiating a sequence of events which forever altered the geometry of global religion, politics and power. Luther's Theses began with the words, "Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg."

[Almost 5 days ago, Pied Piper Pitt nailed his Ninety-Five Feces to the outhouse door, initiating a sequence of laughter which forever altered his brain.]

Another document is going to be nailed to another door on Thursday, June 16th. This door opens not to a church, but to the White House. This document is freighted with hard truths, stern demands and nearly a million names. This document, once nailed up, likewise carries with it all the possibilities of change.

[Sorry to disturb your analogy, Pitt, but you will get NOWHERE near the White House door. First you have to go through a phalanx of Freepers laughing at you, then you will be facing the Secret Service who will be body slamming you to the ground if you so much as try to step foot past the White House gate.]

The American military has all but conceded the fact that this war is lost. "I think the more accurate way to approach this right now is to concede that this insurgency is not going to be settled, the terrorists and the terrorism in Iraq is not going to be settled, through military options or military operations," Brig. Gen. Donald Alston, chief American military spokesman in Iraq, said last week. "It's going to be settled in the political process." There are no more viable military options. The war is lost. It is going to be settled in the political process.

[You win the Jayson Blair Journalism Award for concluding the general said something he did NOT say. Read the quote again. General Alston did NOT say “The war is lost.” That conclusion is only in the inflamed mind of one Pied Piper Pitt.]

On Thursday, June 16th, Rep. John Conyers will hold a hearing to investigate and expose the facts revealed by the release of the Downing Street Minutes and the other documents. A variety of witnesses will be called to describe the contents of these documents, and to describe what has been done to Iraq, and to us all, by this administration. Lurking in the corners of the hearing will be a phrase - "High Crime" - that aptly describes what has taken place.

[Will Andy Stephenson be lurking in the corners of the hearing? The phrase –“High Crime” – that aptly describes the fraud that has taken place thanks largely to your cheerleading of the Andy Scam.]

The Conyers hearing will be held on Thursday at 2:30pm EST in room HC-9 in the Capitol Building in Washington DC. This is a small room, so any overflow of public viewers will be directed to the Wasserman Room in the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.

[And the overflow from the Wasserman Room will be directed to the Rubber Room, also in the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.]

At 5:00pm EST, a rally will take place in Lafayette Park, at the gates of the White House. Rep. Conyers will speak, along with Ambassador Joseph Wilson and Cindy Sheehan, who lost her son Casey in Iraq in May 2003, as Bush was unfurling his "Mission Accomplished" banner. The hearing and rally have been organized by the After Downing Street coalition, a collection of more than 120 organizations and news outlets that came together for the purpose of nailing the facts of the Downing Street Minutes to the White House door.

[Although Joseph Wilson has missed out on his desire to see Karl Rove frogwalked to a waiting police car, perhaps he can be compensated by watching YOU being frogwalked to a cop car when you are busted for being Scamdy’s co-conspirator.]

That, just before the opening of the rally on Thursday, is exactly what will happen. Several weeks ago, Rep. Conyers published a letter demanding answers from the Bush administration regarding the Minutes. That letter has been signed by more than one hundred Congresspeople, and by nearly a million American citizens. Rep. Conyers will personally deliver this letter and all those signatures to the White House on Thursday.

[“I would like some answers. No wait and see. I have spent time with Andy, worked with him, thought I knew him well enough to vouch for him in a time of crisis. I am feeling personally betrayed right now, and furthermore I have put far more than my own feelings and standing on the line here.”]

Jawaharlal Nehru, who with Mahatma Gandhi successfully freed India from British colonial rule, once said, "A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the sound of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance."

[You already did your Nehru shtick, Pitt. Now you are into your overblown comparison of yourself to Martin Luther. Maybe you can combine the two and dress up like Martin Luther wearing a Nehru jacket nailing 95 theses into the door of Scamdy’s 5-star hotel suite.]

Thursday, June 16th, may see such a moment come to pass. It has been a long time coming, and so much remains to be done if the terrible damage of these last years is to be repaired. But a moment is before us. Let us see where this moment takes us.

[It will take you to the Rubber Room mentioned earlier. Now let your fellow loons chime in, Pitt.]

Thanks Will! and John Conyers, and DU! we will turn this around yet!.

[Yes. It will be as effective as the Jeff Gannon “scandal” in getting Bush impeached.]

Bravo...........we now need to hoist the bastards on their own petards.

[Pitt has already been hoisted on Scamdy’s petard.]

Just heard that C-SPAN 2 might be re-airing too... Finally we get some answers!!!!

[Just heard that Comedy Channel might be re-airing too… Finally we get some laughs!!!]

F*cking A Will! After every paragraph I kept saying, "Yah!"

[While the sane people, after every paragraph kept laughing, “Hah!”]

I've thought recently that Karen Kwiatkowski would be an important player in working through the DSM and other evidence. Is she speaking at the Conyers hearing? Has she weighed in recently on the memos?

[Have they let her out of her padded cell?]

The venue has changed! Thank God. That was the weakest thing about this hearing. Having it at the DNC virtually guaranteed it to have the stamp of partisanship on it.

[NEWSFLASH! The overflow crowd will be directed to the Wasserman Room of the DNC so it IS guaranteed to have the stamp of partisanship on it. FYI, the Wasserman Room overflow will be directed to the DNC Rubber Room now renamed the Howard Dean Room.]


The truth hurts and I want to see more of it

[Okay, here goes: George W. Bush will serve out his full term and will be succeeded by Dick Cheney who will in turn serve two full terms. The truth hurts but you said you wanted to see more of it.]

you too, Will, will go down as a hero of democracy

[Or, at the very least, a Nehru/Luther morpher.]

DU, start contacting MSM and asking (demanding) Media Coverage!!

[The Comedy Channel needs more material!]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-15-05 ("Comes a Time - The Downing Street Rally and Hearing" ---Pitt)

Pied Piper Pitt now wants to COVER UP his shameful part in cheerleading for Andy’s pancreatic cancer fundraising fraud by, in his own mind, leading the forces of the Left forward to victory by achieving the impeachment of President Bush via the rather meaningless Downing Street Memos. You can get the idea of Pitt’s bloated sense of historic self-importance in the very title of his DUmmie THREAD titled, “Comes a Time - The Downing Street Rally and Hearing.” Pitt just loves these types of phrases: “Comes a Time,” “Stand up next to a Mountain," blah, blah blah… All done with the tone of urgent historic importance yet all meaning exactly NOTHING as we saw several times when Pitt suggested that an obscure filing by one of Kerry’s lawyers in an Ohio court would somehow lead to the overturning of the election. And now Pitt wants C-SPAN coverage of this Thursday’s “DSM” rally at Lafayette Park to which Pitt believes will have as much support as Gandhi’s Salt March with, of course, Pied Piper Pitt in the role of Gandhi. This may come as a surprise to Pitt but I actually HOPE C-SPAN sends their cameras to that DUmmie rally since I love watching good comedy on the tube especially if it included Pitt getting Freeped as would inevitably happen. So let us now watch Pitt self-inflate himself with his usual pompous verbosity in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of you humble correspondent, hoping to see Pitt confronted by Li’l Beaver this Thursday, is in the [brackets]:

Comes a Time - The Downing Street Rally and Hearing

[I'm pretty upset right now, and I need an explanation.]

"A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the sound of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance." - Jawaharial Nehru

[“As you all know, I was one of the people who took point on raising money for Andy. I wrote about it for truthout two or three times, and convinced the crew at Progressive Democrats of America as well that we needed to raise a call for help.” – Pied Piper Pitt]


This is the moment, and we need your help.

[“It is difficult to pinpoint exactly when the third American empire came into being, but a hockey game will suffice as a marker.” – Pied Piper Pitt]


Progressive Democrats of America, along with Congressman John Conyers and a massive coalition of more than 120 activist organizations and news providers, will be holding a rally this Thursday, June 16th, in Lafayette Park at the gates of the White House. The rally will begin at 5:00pm EST. It will focus on the demand for answers after the revelation of the Downing Street Minutes, and subsequent documentation, which has exposed the Bush administration's willful manipulation of the American people and the world in their desire for war in Iraq at any cost.

[“Kerry's entry into this recount effort changes the math on this matter dramatically. He can likewise show irreparable harm, and unlike the Green and Libertarian candidates, he can also prove a substantial chance for success on the merits because he lost the Ohio vote by a statistical whisker.” – Pied Piper Pitt]

Our last call for donations to help make the hearing and rally a reality garnered an enormous and generous response from you, and we are deeply grateful for your help.

["Fortunately, some friends managed to get Andy a slot at Johns Hopkins Medical Center, one of the premier hospitals for this type of procedure. He is slated for the procedure in the second week of May. Unfortunately, the hospital requires a $25,000 down-payment before they assent to doing the Whipple, and requires another $25,000 once the procedure is done. They are expecting the down-payment immediately." – Pied Piper Pitt]

We are making one last push for donations to make sure the rally on Thursday is as large, loud and well-publicized as it deserves to be. We are putting this together on very short notice, and a great deal of time and effort must be expended to pull together all the groups and all the information and all the people and all the press that will mark Thursday as a day when everything, finally, changed.

[“I would like some answers. No wait and see. I have spent time with Andy, worked with him, thought I knew him well enough to vouch for him in a time of crisis. I am feeling personally betrayed right now, and furthermore I have put far more than my own feelings and standing on the line here.” – Pied Piper Pitt]

This is the moment. After more than two years, after all the lies and the manipulation, after the deaths of more than 1,700 American soldiers and untold thousands of Iraqi civilians, after all the wounded, after all the fear, after watching hundreds of billions of our tax dollars funneled into the pockets of profiteers with umbilical links to the Bush administration, after the discovery of exactly no weapons of mass destruction, no anthrax, no VX nerve agent, no uranium from Niger, after all this and all the rest, the time is now. We march on Washington DC this Thursday, and we shall nail the truth to the White House door.

[On February 2, 1980, the American Olympic hockey team came from nowhere to defeat the unbeatable Soviet squad in Lake Placid. The subsequent eruption of nationalistic fervor, augmented by the American squad’s victory over Finland in the final round to capture the gold medal, led to an outpouring of public emotion that no sporting event had ever created. It was at Lake Placid that the now-familiar chant of “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” was born. The American people had been well-trained during the second empire to expect being on top, and the years prior to Lake Placid had been hard. Something so simple as a win on that ice was enough to strike sparks again, to ignite the long fuse that has been this third American empire. The American people were mesmerized by the vision of their flag rising next to but just a little higher than the red Soviet banner. It was their first taste of what would become a long and uninterrupted stretch of total global dominance.” – Pied Piper Pitt]

Speakers at the rally include:

Rep. John Conyers

Ray McGovern

John Bonifaz

Cindy Sheehan

Medea Benjamin

Stephen Cleghorn

Reverend Lennox Yearwood

And more. (maybe me)

Especially you, Pitt, especially you since we need some great comedy relief.]

We can and will make history on Thursday, we can and will expose the lies of the Bush administration that led us to war, we can and will change the course of history that has for too long now run a bloody and violent path over the innocent. We can and we will, with your help. Please give what you can, and please come to Washington. We will see you in the park.

[“This has been bouncing around like a ping pong ball. First it was $25k, then $50k, then the checks got lost, then Andy posts a thread about writing a 'hot check,' then he deletes his own thread, Skinner has not posted any clarifications, I don't even know what the surgery date is anymore, and now the whole diagnosis has changed.” – Pied Piper Pitt]

I will be there. Check your PM Will.

[Li’l Beaver will be there. Check your PMS Will.]

Too far away. There are days I wish we had moved to the DC area, but we moved where we moved so I coudl see my nephews grow

[If you are lucky perhaps you can see Pied Piper Pitt getting Freeped on C-SPAN.]

a DUer is going to film it and make DVDs

[Under what comedy label will it be distributed?]

I am hoping that C-SPAN will cover this as I have been reading that the ass prick Republicans have denied the committee Democrats use of the rooms on the hills. ASS PRICKS! Our voices will still be heard.

[Speaking of ass pricking…Will Scamdy be showing up at this rally?]

Will, just to be clear, You list the start time as 5:00 pm EST, but I presume you meant EDT? At any rate, I'm 3000 miles away, but I'll be there in spirit and will join up with anyone near me on the west coast.

[You can still attend via the powers of asstral projection.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-14-05 ("GET TO WORK HERE and call C-SPAN about the DSM rally/hearing")

If Pied Piper Pitt can ever get to sleep (he hasn’t slept since April in large part because of worry about being caught up in the Andy Stephenson pancreatic cancer fundraiser fraud) his wet dream would be C-SPAN coverage of him giving a long-winded speech of bloated self-importance in Lafayette Park this Thursday at 5:00 PM when the DUmmies hold their rally to try to shill the unimportant Downing Street Memos as Bush impeachment material. As we can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “GET TO WORK HERE and call C-SPAN about the DSM rally/hearing,” Pitt is DESPERATE for the C-SPAN cameras to show up . Well, this might surprise Pitt but I too hope the C-SPAN cameras are on hand to record the DUmmie idiocy in Lafayette Park. In fact I always look forward to C-SPAN recording all such Leftwing rallies. Why? Because the C-SPAN coverage is unfiltered so it allows us to see the Left as they REALLY ARE---rabid lunatics. It won’t surprise me a bit to see the Communist A.N.S.W.E.R. wackos there although such a prospect would make Pitt very nervous since he is trying to promote the false idea of the Left as being merely benign “progressives.” Of couse, even the A.N.S.W.E.R. Communists won’t make Pitt nearly as nervous as a surprise appearance by none other than Andy “Politicize My Plight” Stephenson. So let us now read Pied Piper Pitt Promoting a Pack of Pickled Protests in Bolshevik Red while the commentary who is looking forward to C-SPAN comedy this Thursday, is in the [brackets]:

GET TO WORK HERE and call C-SPAN about the DSM rally/hearing

[You heard Pitt. Let us all call C-SPAN and beg them to cover the DUmmie rally so we can be treated to some great comedy.]

The DSM hearing is at 1pm in the DNC headquarters. The rally is at 5pm in Lafayette Park. C-SPAN should cover these events. Please call and write them, and ask them to do so:

Main Number: (202) 737-3220
Viewer Services: (765) 464-3080 (for programming questions)

[Suicide Hotline (800) BUSH-WON]

We got this done for the Conyers Ohio hearings. We need to do it again.

[And your DSM hearings will be as effective as the Conyers Ohio hearings.]

Telephone: They Will Be Nice To You - Be Nice To Them. Be as friendly as possible. Some poor stiff doesn't need a bad day on account of us.

[“Please Mr. C-SPAN operator. Please broadcast the wacko DUmmie rally. We NEED the laughs!”]

I just called (202) 737-3220

Got a real person. He sounded real busy. Told him about my concern to see coverage on this and he said they would make a programming discussions tomorrow and post it tomorrow evening. I was nice to him but he hung up on me, so keep calling, keep calling!

[The operator probably smelled your foul breath through the phone line.]

he sounded frazzled to me, too

[The C-SPAN operators are probably frazzled by all the DUmmies calling them screeching: “POLITICIZE OUR PLIGHT!!!”]

"They haven't made up their mind about it yet" as to whether C-Span will cover the rally OR Conyer's hearing. I didn't yell at the guy I just told him that that was ridiculous.

[You left out the part about your angry cursing.]

I Just Called Again. The woman who answered indicated that they have not decided yet. I asked politely if I might suggest that they do? She said I certainly could and that it had been noted. I got the impression they were keeping tally.

[32 nutcase DUmmies screaming over the phone to “politicize their plight” and 89 Freepers who want the rally to be broadcast because they enjoy watching comedy.]

Here's my letter to CSPAN!

Dear CSPAN:

I am so tired of being lied to! I’m even more tired of the Mainstream Media NOT covering the REAL news involving the Downing Street Memo(s) and instead focusing all there attention on Michael Jackson, missing rich White Girls missing in the Carribean etc. Within the last 72 hours, 8 more US soldiers died – but you wouldn’t know it if one only relied on the Mainstream Media. Within the last 72 hours, headlines in the UK published more “Minutes” from the head of British Intelligence and Blair’s Cabinet about the “truth” behind the War on Iraq.

[Dear CSPAN
I am tired of being treated like a mental case. I want you to drop all coverage of other news and concentrate on my own agenda---an obsession with getting Bush impeached on the basis of any flimsy evidence out there which now includes the meaningless Down Street Memos.]

Meanwhile, following the outrageous behavior of Rep. Sensenbrenner last week at the hearings re. the Patriot Act and his un-american and unprofessional storming out of the hearings and ending them (against the Rules of the House) on the Minority and now denying the Democrats a “hearing room” to discuss this topic involving the Downing Street Memos, it is clear to me as an American, a registered Independent, our country is no longer a democracy if the minority party cannot even be heard.

[I am enraged that Rep. Sensensbrenner won’t bend over for us and allow us to shove any kooky theories into his committee hearings. It is clear to me as a Leftwing DUmmie mental case that our country is the worst one that ever existed.]

Please be the voice of Democracy!

[Please Politicize our Pathetic Plight!]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-05 ("What meds do you take?")

Are there any pharmacologists out there? I will probably need your professional help in sorting out the MANY mood-altering meds listed in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What meds do you take?" Since the DUmmies have been spending much of their time escaping into an alternate reality, it is interesting to see what powerful drugs they have to ingest to accomplish this task. For example, I am figuring that it must take some POWERFUL acid to alter the DUmmie mind to the extent that they BEEEELEEEEEVE that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20. High drug dosage is so common in DUmmieland that I am surprised they haven’t established a DUmmie Pharmacy to distribute the meds necessary to enter their own alternate reality. The only “med” your humble correspondent takes currently (other than prescription blood pressure pills) is the non-prescription and VERY SMOOOOOTH slow aged Flor de Caña rum. Perhaps the DUmmies should think of switching to Flor de Caña rum. Not only would they pleasantly mellow out, but a few of them might actually relax enough to get a slight bit of common sense in their system. So let us now view the pharmacologically mind-altered DUmmie posts in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anxiously awaiting the warm glow of his evening dosage of slow aged Flor de Caña, is in the [brackets]:

What meds do you take?

[As mentioned above, only a couple of glasses of slow aged Flor de Caña rum per evening. Right now my “prescription” is for the 7 year old rum but perhaps someday I will become worthy enough qualify for the 12 year old Flor de Caña rum or maybe, just maybe, I can even think about aspiring to the 18 year old Flor de Caña rum. However, let us now view the LOOONG list of mind altering meds you DUmmies are desperately ingesting to kill the pain of our current REPUBLICAN reality.[

Don't answer if it is too personal; I understand. I have some Clonazepam on hand for when I get asthma/anxiety attacks. .5 mg is very weak... but I'm rocking 2 of the suckers right now so I'm at 1mg as we speak. Fairly relaxing since it is a benzodiapene.

[When the pain of seeing George W. Bush in the White House becomes too great, just pull the axe off the wall and break open that emergency bottle of benzodiapene.]

here we go... i hate drug names... so... unfriendly...minocycleine so i dont get all pimple-y and zyrtec so i can breathe during the months where everythign isnt frozen over.

[Zyrtec is also great for helping you to perform simple body functions during the months when your mind is frozen over.]

I take tons of medicine.Here's the list: Paxil for depression,Xanax for anxiety/panic attack,Dalmane to sleep,Ventolin for asthma,Trazodone as anti-depressor and sleeping aid and Advair for asthma.Plus some generic painkillers for chronic pain.I'm only 37 but my grand father who is over a 100 is in better shape than me.Pretty depressing isn't it.

[May I forward that EXTENSIVE med list over to Pied Piper Pitt since he hasn’t slept since April due to extreme anxiety over defrauding his fellow DUmmies by cheerleading them into donating to Andy Stephenson’s non-existent pancreatic cancer operation?]

Oh geez, where to begin. I am an exercise in polypharmacy.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism

Topamax for mood stabilization and migraine
prophylaxis

Verapamil for migraine prophylaxis

Imitrex and Amerge PRN as migraine abortives

Vicodin PRN as a migraine rescue med

Percocet PRN for menstrual cramps

I also take various OTCs as needed and daily vitamin/mineral/other supplements.

[Perhaps you should simply cover your body with a giant prophylaxis to blot out the unpleasant reality of a REPUBLICAN White House, Congress, and Judiciary.]

just a handful

Diclofenac--arthritis prednisone--arthritis methtrexate—arthritis

Verapamil--blood pressure Dyrenium--water pill

[When Cheney is elected in ’08 you might want to consider adding cyanide to that list.]

migraine & allergy meds:

migraine prophylaxis:

singulair (normally prescribed for asthma, which i do not have)

petadolex (an herb)

co-q10

migraine prn:

zomig (i rotate between zomig and imitrex when my body adjusts)

stadol (narcotic, only if zomig fails)

allergy prophylaxis:

nasonex

allergy prn:

semprex-d

[Methinks that on Election Night of 2008, you’re going to have to TRIPLE your med dosage for migraine.]

methadone- 60-70mg daily for chronic pain

flexeril- 50-60mg daily

prednisone- 10mg every other day

ambien- occasionaly for help sleeping

[Methadone? Isn’t that a med that is supposed to substitute for heroin? In any case, I think you will be shooting up heroin directly into your arm on Election Night 2008 in an attempt to kill the pain. But don’t worry. Susan Estrich will be in even WORSE shape than you.]

I'm sure if I went and got checked out I'd be prescribed half a dozen or so medications for depression and anxiety, but I prefer to wallow in my own misery.

[That’s the spirit! Face the incredible pain of this country’s dominant conservatism without resorting to any of those pansy meds.]

I Got You All Beat:

Daily: Cozaar, Tolinase, Actos, Lasix, Lopid, Elavil, Buspar, Topamax, Vicodin, Lomotil, QVar, Atrovent, Albuteral

As Needed: Norco, Fiorinal, Maxalt, Imitrex Stat Dose, Phenergran, Ditropan, Rantidine, Flexeril, Soma

Often on: Cipro and/or Nitrofuratoin

[Braggart!]

Anti-depressants - for me - all seem to make sex less enjoyable, which in turn causes even more depression. Is this just me, or do other people experience the same thing? The problem here in the UK is that doctors are overworked and far less inclined to spend time tweaking meds until they get things just right for a patient, which I find incredibly frustrating

[But…but I thought Britain had this WONDERFUL nationalized health care system that all you DUmmies seem to be boosting! And now you tell me that the doctors in the UK nationalized health care system don’t have much time for their patients. I am so depressed hearing this that I need to pop a prozac.]

i was on Clonazepam, Trazadone, zoloft, valium, wellbutrian and several others. I had really bad depression after the birth of my child and my inlaws didn't help. They told me that I was crazy and making it up cause I wanted attention. I went to several docs and they had me drugged up. I was so high that I was almost drooling. I finally got sick of it all and quite all them. I really do need an anti-depressant but I am afraid to be a zombie again.

[Newsflash, DUmmie earthmama! You’re STILL drooling.]

I don't like the idea of being hooked on chemicals for life, basically. What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it? What if there's a recall because it's really ruining my liver (or whatever)? I wish I could find some kind of natural remedy, or be cured or something. But it's way easier to take my medicine and be on to other things.

[My suggestion is to build a vast underground fallout shelter to store all your meds.]

Ziac (keeps my BP down)

Cymbalta (an SSRI)

Gabapentin (add'l depression treatment)

Prevacid (keeps my gorge from rising, all you Shakespeare fans)

I used to take Vioxx. Rasser frasser... I now take Aleve and Tylenol as if they were M&Ms. I honestly don't know what I'd prefer -- increased risk of heart attack, or this f*cking pain.

[Look at the bright side of it, DUmmie bertha katzenengel. At least you are no longer a Vioxx addict. Now take two Tylenols to kill your “f*cking pain.”]

Duragesic, Lortab, Soma, Naproxen and Ambien...There's more. Can't remember them all for obvious reasons.

[The obvious reason being that your meds have killed your long and short term memory or would be able to produce your extensive med list.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-10-05 ("A thought for Dean, and a thought for his critics." ---Pitt Pontificates)

More than anything, William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt wants to be a MAJOR player in Democrat Party politics. Oh, how he yearns to be on the inside of a Kerry or Hillary campaign. However, the sad fact for him is that none of those campaigns are in great need of his delusional bloviations. Add to that the fact that the idiocy he has already posted on the Web and chronicled hilariously here in the DUmmie FUnnies makes him a LIABILITY to any campaign. I mean even the major Democrats have enough campaign sense not to be saddled with the laughable rantings Pitt has posted such as his infamous theory about how the Third American Empire began at the end of a hockey game when nationalistic fans began a “USA! USA!” chant. However, I do have GOOD NEWS for Pitt. He will finally get the fame he is so anxious to attain. The BAD NEWS for Pitt is that YOURS TRULY will be the instrument of Pitt’s fame via the comix story section of the CD-ROM insert of my DUmmie FUnnies book. Yes, Pitt, I recommend you begin fervently praying to God that Mary Matalin does not become aware of the DUmmie FUnnies because if she does, a book deal (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories) will surely follow. And who will provide the material for such Pied Piper Pitt comix stories? Why none other than Pitt himself (plus Andy Stephenson) as he has so graciously done in this absurd THREAD titled, “A thought for Dean, and a thought for his critics.” As usual the Bloviations of Pied Piper Pitt and his ilk are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking forward to making BUKU BUCKS at the expense of Pitt’s foibles, is in the [brackets]:

A thought for Dean, and a thought for his critics.

[We anxiously await your latest bloviation, Pitt. Please continue with your verbal flatulence…]

First, for the Dean critics who have gone public with their criticisms: You are asshats. Ronald Reagan helped build a massively successful Republican coalition by preaching a simple gospel. "Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican in public," said Reagan, and it worked for them, and it still works for them. There must have been a way, there must have been a dozen ways, for you to deliver your concerns to Dean and the DNC without barfing it out all over the papers. Please don't be so goddam stupid again.

[Pied Piper Pitt is so deficient in history that he thinks this is the MAIN reason how Reagan built a successful coalition. What Pitt misses completely is the fact that Reagan had a message that the majority of people believed in. But let us allow Pitt to wander further into the quicksand as he completely CONTRADICTS himself in the next sentence…]

To Dean: There is an old lawyer's saying that goes, "When you have the facts on your side, pound on the facts. When you have the law on your side, pound on the law. When neither the facts nor the law are on your side, pound on the table." Mr. Dean, we have the facts on our side. We have the law on our side. I would humbly suggest you pound on those, and don't bother pounding on the table. Leave that to us.

[And you need to quit pounding your pud, Pitt, because right after that bloated pontification about NOT attacking fellow Democrats…you attacked fellow Democrat Dean. However, I guess it makes you feel better to give advice to Dean.]

I delivered my concerns to the DNC with a $25 check, an Attaboy for the Good Doctor and a hearty FU to duplicitous corporate donors and Pink Tutu Dems.

[Pink Tutu Dems? That sounds like a description of Scamdy.]

so there you go. another call for democrats to be more like republicans. shut up, just shut up and get in line or get called a name by will pitt.

[Will Will Pitt called someone a con artist?]

I'm not saying we should 'be like Republicans,' by the way. I'm saying we should stop stabbing each other in public, and I'm saying we have the facts and the law on our side.

[Why, Pitt? Having facts on your side didn’t seem necessary when you were shilling bucks for Scamdy’s NON-EXISTENT pancreatic cancer surgery. As for the law, that definitely WON’T be on your side when the Scamdy fraud trial begins. Your only hope is to declare yourself so gullibly incompetent that you couldn’t detect an OBVIOUS scam.]

The repubs have consistantly made false statements about the DEM party the last twenty years and have always gotten away with outright LYING, and you have the nerve to call Dean on telling the truth?

[Speaking of outright LYING…How is Scamdy’s recuperation from “pancreatic cancer” surgery going?]

I am not attacking you about Dean, we all have our own opinions, but Dean has to be heard and he needs to scream it outloud if need be. I am just so sick and tired of what they are attempting to do to our country as well as what they have already accomplished...

[The Republicans are trying to con people out of their money with a phony shtick about having pancreatic cancer? …DISGUSTING!]

Keeping the Republican's Achilles heels exposed is exactly what Dean is doing. Harsh rhetoric is more controversial and promotes discussion.

[YEEEEEEHAAAAAWWWW!!! Keep it up, Dean, and ALIENATE even more people![

This could be the start of something big.

[It could be the biggest whiff of Pitt flatulence yet!]

Agreed with the caveat that a firebrand can pound on the facts and the law when they are on our side.

[Agreed, Pitt, with the caveat that you keep pounding your pud for our amusement.]

Pounding on the table makes em flip open their little reporter notebooks, though. Once they start following him around, breathlessly waiting for his next outrageous statement, once he has their attention, he can slip in the substance that creates the context for the great quote. I'm all for what he's doing. Fighting back!

[Great strategy. Act like a raving lunatic and then in the middle of a senseless rant slip in a secret message. I’m all for what he is doing. Acting like a fool!]

That is the best way to support Dean is to give. They are already saying let's see if he can bring in the money... I believe he will and more.

[BUT FIRST you must give to Scamdy for his non-existent pancreatic cancer surgery.]

Dean is seriously working a multiple tiered strategy to shape the Party for decades to come, not just 2006 and 2008. How it is funded, where communication is done, who has a voice or even a freakin' seat at the table, are the fundamentals being shaped by his leadership. To get people to the parade you gotta have fireworks, to keep them there you better have a plan.

[To get people to the parade you gotta act like your permanent residence is a padded cell. GREAT JOB, DEAN!!!]

So pound all three! Table pounding he has done doesn't bother me! Keep after them Howard! You're right! They've never done an honest days work! Too busy stealing everyone else's profit from their honest days work!

[Scamdy would know about the latter.]

Dean is so passionate. We are ALL guilty of allowing our passion get the best of us, from time to time. Yes?

[I think the rabid foam around your mouths is the giveaway clue on that.]

it's TIME for some political JUJITSU and if a couple of our guys get their hair mussed in the process so be it... especially if it's only a SPOKESPERSON. we need GOOD-COP vs BAD-COP and all the other techniques there is in our communications tool-box to take this country back.

[And with Pied Piper Pitt you’ve got DUmb-COP.]

When Dean becomes the issue, Democrats win.

[What about when Dean becomes institutionalized?]

Sorry Will, but calling people asshats means thou art speaking ill of other Democrats in public.

[aka hypocrisy.]

I hate genteel politics! Why can't Dean call a Repub a mofo and pound on the table if he wants to? I feel like I've joined the frilly lace tea party, when I wanna be a snarling pitbull Democrat! I think if the entire Democratic leadership were a bit more rude toward Repubs, we'd earn more respect. We are being pushed around the schoolyard by the rich kid bully and his friends. We need to push back. If they all did it everyday, Dean wouldn't stand out as an easy target. He needs other Dems to stand up and shout "Hear! Hear!" whenever he slams a Repub. No more playing by Marquis of Queensbury rules. Long past time for Dems to give Repubs a good old fashion hairpulling, bare knuckle, knock down, dragout ass kicking.

[It also sounds like you hate winning soooo….KEEP IT UP!!!]

We Got Your Back!

[My Baby Got Back!]

What the heck ever happened to standing united? If they dont pull their head out of their ass soon we will be doomed in 2006. Trust me, we need to be united, asshat Harris is running here in Florida and she absolutely cannot win.

[A Senator Harris is a guarantee with enough Dean Screams.]

I don't know that this is 'public.' It's a discussion forum, and I don't suffer the illusion that what I post here goes anywhere past here.

[Trust me, Pitt. Thanx to the DUmmie FUnnies your lunacy is laughed at FAR beyond the bounds of DUmmieland.]

Oh...Jeeze didn't Pitt "Recant" this post...why has it been kicked...

[Recanting his own posts seems to be a habit for Pitt. First he shills for Scamdy. Then Pitt expresses strong doubts about Scamdy’s phony pancreatic cancer operation. Then Pitt recants himself and provides phony FAX documents showing that Scamdy’s surgery had been rescheduled… before it had actually been rescheduled. We are still awaiting Pitt’s recantation of his recantation.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-09-05 ("How is Andy doing?")

The first thing I did when I saw this DUmmie THREAD titled, “How is Andy doing?” at 6:50 AM this morning was enter “cancer” into the FIND function and guess what? NO mention of cancer at all on the entire page. You know if Scamdy had pancreatic CANCER it would have been mentioned at least ONCE (although they might toss that word in the thread AFTER reading this edition of the DUFUs). Therefore, if Scamdy did NOT have cancer what was the reason he went to Johns Hopkins in the first place? He could have had regular pancreatic surgery done in his home state of Washington without any need to shill for $50,000+. I put the PLUS sign in there because since Skinner had absolutely NO ACCOUNTING of the Scamdy money taken in, that figure could be well in excess of $50,000. Since Scamdy had his appeal going on OVER a hundred other Leftist websites, it is a good chance that he pocketed a SIZABLE chunk of change over and above what it cost him for mere (non-cancerous) pancreatic surgery. One interesting thing about this thread is not ONE word from Sknner or Pied Piper Pitt since they are both hoping that Scamdy just go away. Somehow Scamdy seems to have a bizarre hold over both of them. So let us now enter this Dummieland thread where all thought of Scamdy’s supposed cancer is tossed down the Memory Pitt in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who thinks Scamdy is just $10 away from mentioning “cancer,” is in the [brackets]:

How is Andy doing?

[Wonderfully. Scamdy is recuperating quickly from ROUTINE non-cancerous pancreatic surgery. Thanks to all the money he raked in over and above what was needed for the unnecessary Johns Hopkins operation, Scamdy has more than enough to enjoy a great recuperation period in the Caribbean.]

I assume we are allowed to ask that again. How is he feeling?

[Be careful how you ask that. If you ask why he went to Johns Hopkins unnecessarily because he did NOT have pancreatic cancer, you will probably be tombstoned.]

Well lets see...The incision is still tender...but my appetite is coming back and I am regaining more of my strength every day. I got back home late last night and it was awesome to sleep in my own bed again. Thanks for asking and for the concern! It has meant so much to me what DU has done for me. You all rock. I still have another pahse of treatment but the doctor is confident I will make a full recovery. Mentally I am in that space and truly, I am feeling better everyday.

[Recuperation from NON-CANCEROUS pancreatic surgery is fairly rapid, Scamdy. BTW, why no thank you to all the suckers you conned for a Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need?]

Hey, man, you oughta be in bed asleep, regaining your strength. It's great to hear from you, and I'm thrilled you're posting. Keep up with vitamins and good fruits and veggies, and drink only distilled water. I am so serious about this. We all love ya, dear. Keep posting, you make us all feel so good inside.

[Make us feel so good inside and let us believe that you really did need that money we wasted on you to go to Johns Hopkins for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need.]

I have slept alot over the last 2 weeks. today I felt the best I have since surgery. Like I say my strength is coming back more and more each day.

[You’ve certainly slept a lot better than Pied Piper Pitt, Scamdy. He is so worried sick about how you used him to put over an enormous con for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need, that he hasn’t slept since April.]

This is wonderful news! I'm glad to hear that you're up and about!

[Yes, this is wonderful news. Thank God Scamdy never had pancreatic cancer in the first place. If he did, he would probably still be flat on his back instead of being his chipper self and singing Broadway show tunes over the cell phone from his ICU.]

HI, Andy! Glad to hear you're back home and getting better! Appetite is a good sign...

[Scamdy can now afford to go to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse on an almost daily basis thanx to all that money you folks sent him for an unnecessary Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation which did NOT take place.]

Yes it is...although I have found my tastes have changed...for example. I used to love tomatoes...now they taste like straw and celery is peach sweet to me. Apparently that is one of the side effects of pancreatic surgery...changed taste buds.

[I bet Roast DUmmie suckerling tastes mighty sweet to you, Scamdy.]

pineapple and papaya are the best for you and not cooked, either. you gotta keep your weight up, my dear.

[Actually, Scamdy could stand to LOSE a few pounds since he is about to enter the Guinness Book of Records as the FATTEST “pancreatic cancer” patient in history.]

Somebody used to tell me that carrot juice was really really good for you. Good to hear you're doing well, Andy! Keep it up!

[Scamdy prefers Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.]

I am eating like a madman the last couple of days in fact I ate dinner and I am hungry again.

[Yeah, all that “chemotherapy” is giving you quite an appetite, Scamdy.]

for example tonight I had real turkey breast sliced on a tortilla with roasted red peppers lettuce and dijon mustard. It was yummmmmmy. For breakfast I had 9 grain bread with grits and 2 eggs.

[Don’t hold back. Pig out at your local buffet, Scamdy. After all it is well known that pancreatic cancer patients develop quite an appetite.]

Well Joan Krawitz is honorable and I think Ms Harris' troubles are just beginning. But I am not going to focus on her. My job right now is to get well...that is where my focus must and will be.

[Methinks YOUR troubles are just beginning, Scamdy. I am sure there will be an investigation into YOUR fraud. Your job right now is to use those enormous funds you scammed to hire a good defense attorney.]

Is it very nice to hear the good news! And I am glad it all worked out in terms of getting great treatment. You gave of yourself and that inspired others to take care of your best interest.

[The ease with which Scamdy conned the DUmmies out of $50,000 for pancreatic cancer operation at Johns Hopkins which NEVER took place will certainly inspire other con artists to enter DUmmieland.]

Hint from a recent surgery patient: Get a neosporin scar patch at the pharmacy. I had a hysterectomy last year and my scar is 100% gone! This is an amazing product.

[Don’t give Scamdy any ideas. He might end up hitting on the DUmmies for another $50,000 for a hysterectomy operation.]

Hey I have ICU and scar pics...
I just don't want them posted on that website.
you know the one I mean.

[DUmmie FUnnies or Scamdy.Com?]

Wow, Andy, it is TOO good to hear from you....And sounding so chipper, too!! Glad you are coming out of this. I knew you'd beat this thing.

[Careful…careful. It is okay to use the vague term “thing” but DON’T use the word “cancer” or it could mean your tombstoning.]

Andy, this is wonderful to hear!
Nothing like being back at home too. Lots of rest now, heal up, and yep, be in the place where you'll be after the next phase of treatment.

[Scamdy’s next phase of treatment will be sun & sea therapy in the Caribbean.]

I have a couple of rounds of chemo and radiation to go through...but the doctor said I should be fine.

[Please send money for unnecessary chemo and radiation that needs to follow the non-existent pancreatic cancer operation.]

Good to see you back!! Now, close your eyes and visualize. a complete recovery and perfect health! I'm serious, it works!

[It sure does. Obvious scams ALWAYS work in Dummieland.]

I have been doing that. I am using a screen nightly to screen all the bad stuff from my body. I know visualizations work...

[Scamdy is now in the process of visualizing another reality of a Dummieland scam.]

OK good night everyone...I am going to lay down and rest.

[Meanwhile, one the other side of the continent from Scamdy, Pied Piper Pitt is lying awake worrying about his defense plea when he is charged with aiding and abetting Scamdy.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-08-05 ("I'm a DUmmy, and PROUD of it!!!!!")

Self-recognition is the first step in the cure for utter idiocy. Therefore some DUmmies are displaying some hope in this THREAD titled, “I'm a DUmmy, and PROUD of it!!!!!” Yes, once in a while my DUmmie Ants realize they are being watched as this thread reveals. Please remember, DUmmies, that your whole existence is STRICTLY for my entertainment. Of course, that won’t stop me from profiting from the laughs you provide in the future if I can ever get Mary Matalin to make that lunch date with me to discuss a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories) deal. So now let us look in at our DUmmies inside their Ant Farm looking back at us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, grateful that the DUmmies are proud to be DUmmies, is in the [brackets]:

I'm a DUmmy, and PROUD of it!!!!!

[Isn’t that also Howard Dean’s motto?]

I see the latest nickname the unimaginative morans have tried to label us with is DUmmy, or DUmmie. I'll be their DUmmie, or as Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday said,"I'll be your huckleberry".

[Since you aren’t Doc Holliday you can be my dingleberry, DUmmie.]

Who cares what those brainwashed freaks think. I'd rather be a DUmmie than a FReeper

[Congratulations on having a permanent DUmmie status!]

what I don't understand...is the UTTER OBSESSION "they" have with DU. I mean, they follow us like a soap opera, fer cryin' out loud.

[More like a comedy routine. However you do provide some good soap opera with your Drama Queen antics.]

They are starving for ideas. Maybe even they are burning out on repeating the rovian talking points. Oh the name really hurts freeps!

[Every morning a Fedex envelop arrives for me filled with Rovian talking points for me to repeat.]

It's what happens when you remove masturbation as an option their members are too tiny to even pee with so they have to obsess about something else

[Speaking of obsessions: Jeff Gannon, Downing Street Memo, IHOP, MIHOP, PNAC, BFEE, etc..]

I can bet the response to this, no joke. Watch them say: "because you are a soap opera". Or something equally unoriginal.

[More like a COMEDY since you always keep us laughing.]

I understand their obsession. They are soulless, unethical, and un-American, so their obsession is par for the course.

[I’m so soulless and unethical that I ADMIT getting my laughs from pathetic DUmmies.]

Stem Cells = important
Starving Children = nope

[DUmmies = dopes.]

I'm a liberal DUmmy and proud of it.

[Liberal DUmmie is a redundancy.]

There is a poster over there who I am certain is lying about his kid being hurt in Iraq. I think we should start a site investigating this internet fraud being perpetrated on good trusting conservatives who fall for any patriotic story no matter how big a lie it is.

[Uh-Oh! Methinks you have just incurred the wrath of speed_addiction. Stand by for the FIREWORKS!]

At least as ethical as them challenging Andy. Sorry..if Andy is a liar then so is that person..and they certainly have appeared on all the Andy threads..they deserve our investigation

[Funnie how the words “pancreatic cancer” have become TABOO in DUmmieland. Want a quick way to be tombstoned? Then just ask Skinner about Scamdy’s medical status---specifically if he REALLY had pancreatic cancer.]

That parent supports the war...when they challenge Andy's credibility, they put their own at stake

[When you hold up Scamdy as your Poster Boy for Credibility then you know why we call you DUmmies.]

Dummy or Dummie?

[“DUmmie” is the preferred spelling. Thanx for asking.]

now that I have your attention. F*CK YOU, ASSHOLES

[Getting under your skin, eh DUmmie CatWoman?]

Well, I like DUmmie. Usually I pay no attention to threads concering these "people", but, I like the ie ending.

[I test marketed it and when the DUmmie FUnnies book is published it has been shown that “DUmmie” works out better in the title than “DUmmy.”]

I am a Crash Test DUmmie. I hurl myself at obstacles of moran nature.

[You DUmmies are crash testing yourselves all the time. However, my favorite Crash Test was on election day when you DUmmies were GLOATING over Kerry’s victory based on the exit polls. Then a few hours later you DUmmies crashed against the harsh reality of the ACTUAL election results. Another Hilarious episode in the endless DUmmie Crash Tests.[

I am not a DUmmie.

[It’s not a matter of choice, DUmmie LittleClarkie.]

They actually talk about particular posters here as though they know them. I kid you not, like some obsessive psychotic un-fan club: stalkers in other words.

[The critters in my DUmmie Ant Farm often perform in certain predictable patterns that makes them very recognizable. For example that Drama Queen soapbox you frequently emote upon, DUmmie lala_rawraw. However, I’m afraid that DUmmie mopaul has you beat for flat out looniness. When I see one of his posts, it is a guarantee of laughable bile spilling over.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-08-05 ("Okay. I am now ready to make some daring, wild-ass predictions.")

The track record of DUmmie prognosticators ranges from abysmal to completely divorced from reality. Remember that famous prediction of last year? ---“John Kerry WILL be inaugurated on Jan. 20.” Time and time again the DUmmie predictions turn out to be completely erroneous which often causes problems in DUmmieland such as the famous meltdown in November 2002 when the Republicans picked up seats in Congress. However, DUmmies just seem to NEVER learn as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Okay. I am now ready to make some daring, wild-ass predictions.” Not only are the predictions of DUmmie hvn_nbr_2 “wild-ass” rooted in an alternate unreality but HILARIOUS as well. As usual the erroneous DUmmie prognostications are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, predicting another massive DUmmie meltdown when the next CONSERVATIVE Supreme Court Justice is chosen, is in the [brackets]:

Okay. I am now ready to make some daring, wild-ass predictions.

[DUmmie FOOL ALERT! DUmmie FOOL ALERT!]

I almost did this two weeks ago but didn't have some of the details thought out and got cold feet because of the filibuster "compromise." But now I'm confident again, and I want to put it out there before I go on vacation.

[So your predictions have ALREADY been proven wrong but that won’t stop you from going ahead and making a complete fool of yourself. Be my guest.]

The tide is turning. Cracks are appearing everywhere. The corporate media are starting to cover the Downing Street Minutes, and a few are even daring to say the I-word.

[Yeah. I remember how Impeachment was considered INEVITABLE over the Jeff Gannon scandal. In a couple of weeks I PREDICT that Downing Street stories will be forgotten in the trash heap along with the Gannon speculations.]

1. Chimp/Cheney will not finish their term in office. They'll be gone before the 2006 elections, and there's a fair chance they'll be gone before the end of 2005.

[BWAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, with the MAJORITY of the House and Senate being Republican they will somehow impeach Chimp/Cheney. And for what? Because they made the DUmmies cry?]

There are cracks in the walls everywhere, particularly in the corporate media cartel. The DSM is increasing the pressure from outside and making the bias glaringly obvious to everyone. The Deep Throat hoopla is increasing the pressure from inside the cartel, from the many journalists who want to do real journalism but have been forbidden to. No one is fooled by the phony calls for new Deep Throats to come forward today. They all know there are dozens of Deep Throats ready and willing and already trying. There is no shortage of Woodwards or Bernsteins either. The missing pieces are Ben Bradlees and Katherine Grahams, and everyone in the cartel knows it. And for some reason, they're starting to let go a bit.

[Take another hit off your crack pipe and tell us more.]

Here's what I think is happening: Either they've concluded that Chimpy is going down no matter what they do, or the corporate plutocrats are restless. They're thinking something like, "We bought and paid for every branch of government, we bought and paid for and controlled every significant media outlet, and we loyally suppressed all opposing information, and what did we get for it? Our investments in media are going south because everyone knows it's all bullshit and nobody's watching any more. None of us are getting anything except Chimp/Cheney's buddies in oil and gas. For the rest of us, the Dow is about where it was when Chimpy was selected four and a half years ago, the S&P 500 is down from then, the NASDAQ is down significantly; there's a worldwide de facto consumer boycott of our brands just because we're American; the budget deficit will cripple us for years to come; and the Bush-buddies' FERC-rape of California is costing the rest of us plutocrats billions. We want our share, and Chimp/Cheney won't give it to us, so they are now expendable." They think they can excise Chimp/Cheney and still keep control of everything, so they're starting to let media talk about DSM and the I-word.

[I said take a hit off your crack pipe, NOT an overdose.]

However, there are two big flies in their ointment: Once they loosen the chains a little bit on real journalism, they're going to find a lot of resistance to tightening them again. Toothpaste out of the tube thing. And the corruption is so vast, so widespread, so depraved, and so pervasive that a cub reporter from the Outer Oshkosh Sentinel-Times-Recorder could come up with enough scandal in a couple hours to bring down several governments. Once they loosen a bit, it's going to take down a whole lot of people, quickly before they can adjust, and it's going to splash ugly on a lot more.

[Would you like me to bring a butterfly net to your rubber room?]

2. More people are going to jail than did from Nixon's adminstration. A lot more. This is going to be the biggest flameout in American history, by far.

[Andy Stephenson, Pied Piper Pitt, and Skinner are going to jail because of the phony pancreatic cancer fundraising scam?]

And it's going to happen quickly once it gets started. In Watergate, the phrase was "twisting slowly, slowly in the wind." This time around, it will be flameout and blowback. When real journalists start digging, we'll find out about corruption that even we at DU don't even suspect yet. And some of it will be at least comparable in depravity to LIHOP. When the rampant corruption is known and Chimpy's approval ratings are really in the toilet, then people will finally be willing to listen to the evidence of election fraud and the stolen elections. And not just the last two presidential elections. Probably the Republican majority in the Senate was stolen; certainly at least three or four seats were stolen.

[Don’t stop talking now. Continue to relax on the couch as the nice doctor writes all this down on his notepad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

3. We'll have paper ballots for the 2006 elections.

[Funny. I seem to remember all you liberals back in 2000 SCREAMING for electronic ballots.]

Maybe eventually they'll come up with computer systems, designed to industry standards, monitored by computer security experts, and trusted by the people, but there won't be time to do it for 2006. We'll do it the old-fashioned way, as an emergency response. When they finally tell people that their voting computers were programmed by convicted felon hackers, with multiple convictions for fraud by software, all the current voting machine companies will be put out of business.

[How about if they just base the elections on exit polls as so many of you DUmmies seem to want?]

4. Democrats will regain control of the House and the Senate in the 2006 elections. Maybe sooner for the Senate when election fraud becomes known and some are forced out.

[May I forward this thread to the Federal Elections Commission? I’m sure they will find this thread as proof…of your insanity.]

It will be almost by default. The Republican party will be incredibly damaged by all the scandal. What we have now is far, far worse than Watergate, Teapot Dome, and Joe McCarthy all combined. Remember that after Joe McCarthy, they didn't control either house of Congress for forty years. This will be worse.

[Yeah. The non-existent Downing Street Memo trumps them all. It will be as effective in bringing down the reign of our Glorious Emperor, Chimpus Khan, as the Jeff Gannon “scandal.”]

5. We will see the first major party re-alignment in the U.S. in 150 years.

[With Hispanics leaving the Democrat party in droves this prediction could actually prove correct.]

Within 5-10 years, the Republican party will basically be gone, or possibly relegated to permanent minor status as the religious nuts party, if a multi-party system emerges.

[“John Kerry WILL be inaugurated on Jan. 20."]

6. That will be a perilous time for the Democratic party too, and the outcome is uncertain.

[If the DUmmie FUnnies ever gets published as a book (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories) it is certain that the outcome for the Democrats is that they become a national laughingstock as you have already managed to become.]

The corporate plutocrats will just automatically assume they can buy the Democrats as they bought the Pukes. To a large extent, they already own them anyway. Also, at least some Democrats will be caught in the scandals. And after the intitial shock and disgust of the scandals wear off, people will ask all the Democratic wimps, appeasers, enablers, and corporate tools, "Where were you? Why didn't you speak up about what was happening? Why did you go along with them? You spoke eloquently on January 6, 2005, and then voted to approve the fraud. Why should we follow you either?"

[“Corporate plutocrats.” I am so impressed by your command of Leftist clichés that I would consider it an honor if you would pull down your pants an allow me to kiss your buttcheeks.]

I think the outcome is uncertain. It depends on too many variables, such as how the Dems respond, how any unstained prominent Repubs respond, and just on many uncertainties. We could have a new party replace the Pukes, we could see both parties replaced by two or more parties, we could see multiple parties rise to replace the Pukes and in time establish a multi-party system.

[I can just see the two parties permitted in the DUmmie Alternate Reality: The Progressive Democrat Party and the Socialist Workers Party. Of course the EVIL Republicans will just disappear from the face of the earth.]

7. No one will trust the corporate media again, even if they get back to real journalism.

[Keep your radio set tuned to Air America at all times. Only Randi Rhodes presents us with “real” journalism.]

They may re-gain viewers and readers, but they'll always be held in suspicion. Something will arise on the internet to counter them and compete effectively with them. There will be large-scale divestment and dis-conglomeration of media control, possibly because their investments in media control went bad, but forced if necessary.

[“Dis-conglomeration.” Again I am incredibly impressed by your use of the language. Down with those pants again so I can kiss your buttcheeks in awe of your verbal abilities!]

8. We get our country back.

[Might Mouse! HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAY!!!]

Eventually we'll get universal health care, secure social security, a meaningful safety net, environmental protection, consumer protection, worker protection, and other things that the American people want but current politicians controlled by the plutocracy won't give us. We'll probably even get public financing of campaigns and re-regulation of some energy-related industries.

[Elimination of capitalism, nationalization of all business, re-education camps for Republicans. All in all a GLORIOUS future in the DUmmie Alternate Reality.]

But then, maybe this is all just wishful thinking. Since I'm about to go on vacation, after a few hours from now, I won't see if anyone even notices this thread till next week. Hope some of you enjoy it.

[Actually I think your post is ending simply because your Meds are wearing off. Now to get MORE laughs from your fellow DUmmies…]

Wow. I sure hope you're right...but I have a sneaking suspicion that you should be changing your screen name to Pollyanna.

[Or Deep Bloat.]

It sounds spot on, to me.

[Don’t worry. There is room in the Rubber Room for you as well.]

I can't believe in anything anymore. I just can't. It's too hard to get your hopes up and then have reality be so unexpectedly awful. I have a feeling we may see things get a lot worse before they get better.

[Psst! A Cheney Presidency starting on Jan. 20, 2009.]

Not a chance in hell. Now, could you please pass what you are smoking

[Pass that crack pipe!]

and then it will rain peppermint candy! oh, won't it be nice?

[And showered with Goody Gumdrops!]

I read through carefully. Not even one of these things will come to pass. I honestly believe it. We will have a permanent republican majority and it doesn't matter how horrible they become. They got the elections rigged and the media to cover up anything. I hate to say it, but after seeing what has happened over the last few years I realize it's f*cking over man.

[Finally. A DUmmie with a REALISTIC attitude.]

Thanks for the uplifting prediction....Your words have filled my dreams that someone sees something that has brought me to my knees.

[That sounds like a quote from Monica Lewinsky.]

One "Channeler" predicted in '03: If Bush wins another term his "masters" will turn away from him, he will founder on his own and he will experience the greatest embarrassment of this or any of his other lives.

[Hey! If a Channeler said it then it MUST be true!]

Let me preface this with some pertinent info which will make reading this easier. "Michael" is a combination group of spirits, who speak about pretty much everything. In this channeling they refer to past lives and the levels and attributes of the spirit known as G.W. Bush and Tony Blair and others.

[GASP! Up until this point I was a skeptic but now that you tell me that the combo spirit Michael is making these predictions I HAVE to take them serioiusly.]

LunaC wrote:
Due to retrograde motion, Bush* will again experience the Saturn Return effect in mid-June but this time it's even juicier......Mars (action - ruler of his Power/Destiny) will be in his house of Courts and in conflict with Neptune (deceptions) in the house of his Foundations. At the same time Mercury (news) will conjunct the Sun (focus) in his house of Self-Undoing. The chickens WILL come home to roost! Bush's* Fraud will be revealed in the Courts, MSM will cover it extensively, and it should lead to his decline in power and stature.

[I think Luna-tic, due to a retrograde motion in her brain, has her head stuck in Uranus.]

I predict that the World Tribunal will corner the neocons and the world will be calling for their heads on a platter (or dry ice for irony)...

[I can just picture the World Tribunal Swat Team leaping from helicopters and arresting conservatives for Thought Crimes while they are sleeping late at night.]

Magical thinking. Its a lot of fun, but my preference is reality.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

CuckooBananas, Darth Cheney, KKKarl Rove and Regime.......ALL GO TO JAIL AND ARE ARRESTED THIS YEAR!!! You heard it here first. This bunch WILL NOT finish their term and they will be removed this year when Kerry & Edwards are sworn in and make room in all the jails for the people who are going to jail.

[Psst! Cuckoo! If “CuckooBananas, Darth Cheney, and KKKarl Rove” go to jail then Denny Hastert becomes President. Back to Square One.]

think it -- dream it -- be it. picture in your mind the end result. know that it will happen. own it.

[Create your own unreality!]

I thought DU had a rule against Crackheads?

[On the contrary. Being a Crackhead is a REQUIREMENT in DUmmieland.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-07-05 ("I Believe" ...AGAIN!!!)

I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE! I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE! I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE at this late date that the DUmmies have yet ANOTHER “I BEEEELEEEVE” THREAD going in DUmmieland. As you may remember, DUmmie Doohickie started several “I BELIEVE” threads following last November’s election in which he and others expressed their FERVENT belief that John Kerry would be inaugurated on Jan. 20. This series of threads continued until about he middle of January when even DUmmie Doohickie was bowled over by harsh reality. So now it is almost 6 months since Inauguration Day and we have ANOTHER “I BEEELEEEVE” thread. So are they trying to create their own reality of going back in a time machine and from that point creating a new reality of Kerry being inaugurated? No. The new “I BEEELEEEVE” theme eschews any specificity whatever in favor of a general feel-good theme along the lines of “I BEEELEEEVE the Baddies will be driven from power and then good stuff gotta happen.” I BEEELEEEVE the DUmmie yearnings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hardly BELIEVING that the DUmmies are willing to make themselves such laughingstocks again, is in the [brackets]:

I Believe.

[We know, DUmmie bleever, and we look forward to your comedy act. Continue your shtick…]

I believe a few things are true at this moment in history.

[Start the drum roll for the punchlines…]

First, that the theft of the election of 2004 continues to grow more evident and obvious, and that the grand forces of history are joined with the energy of a great many passionate Americans who won’t rest under the rotten mantle that has settled upon us.

[I think you have been watching too many old campy monster Japanese movies with the theme of radioactive creatures… “Day by day, grand forces of history have joined with radioactive energy that won’t rest under the rotten mantle of the earth to form a race of tiny DUmmies.”]

Second, that the anti-democratic forces that have managed to gain a grip on the three branches of our federal government, intimidate the press out of being the watchdogs they have historically been, and who brought us to war on the basis of lies and their ability to game all the national and international systems, have made a fatal error. They have underestimated the decency of Americans.

[Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Same theme. Anti-Democratic forces took over the country but they underestimated the decency of Americans AND the power of Buck Rogers.]

You can’t really blame them; they themselves don’t possess that decency.

[Because the EVIL Republicans are Morlocks---“The Time Machine.”]

The decency to say that any system that allows innocent people to be tortured to death, because of our suffering and fear, is not what we stand for.

[We can’t help it. The Democrat Eloi just meekly line up at the sound of the whistle to enter the underground Morlock caverns.]

The decency to see the wisdom of the way the U.S. Constitution apportions the power to send American men and women onto the battlefield of war.

The decency to actually believe that it should be the decision of the people, through their votes, to choose their government.

[I regret to inform you, DUmmie bleever, that your high school paper is only going to get a grade of “D” due to it’s utter lack of constitutional knowledge plus not having the slightest bit of specificity whatever.]

And as surely as I know that they would effectively destroy the two-party system, I know and believe that they are failing. Because they don’t understand the decency of America and what it really stands for, and really thrives on.

[You get a coupon discount to Disney World every time you write “decency.”]

Americans don’t roll over. Not for terrorists. And not for those who think that they can wrest the miracle of representative democracy from the people of this nation. Go ahead: read Machiavelli. Study all the greatest bosses, kaisers, caesers, emperors, and consolidators of power. Do your best. One problem: power resides in the people. If you try to gather it all unto yourself, it’s going to spill back out.

[Why does one get the feeling that not only has DUmmie bleever NOT read Machiavelli but almost no history whatever?]

The months since the election have been abundant with fruit for everyone who, seeing the election stolen, breathed deep, got mad, and knew that justice would eventually prevail.

[Maybe Mighty Mouse will show up. HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAY!!!]


I Believe.

[I Believe that John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. Ooops! That didn’t work out. Now I Believe in just that the bad guys are gonna have, like, bad stuff happen to them and, like, things are gonna be good for the good guys, you know?]

This is a sight for sore eyes. I Believe, bleev. Never Give Up.

[This certainly is a sight for sore eyes. The “I Believe” comedy routine has been RESURRECTED!]

I believe in the eventual triumph of love, light and goodness!

[…and goody gumdrops!]

I believe...in the accuracy of the 2004 state and national exit polls over the "official results" of the unrecountable black boxes and the Karl Rove exit polls.

[I believe that exit polls results should determine the winners rather than just mere actual voting results.]

I believe that if there is anything worth fighting for in this time in which we live, it is GETTING OUR DEMOCRACY BACK. There are a hundred ways to do it, or more, and Election Reform is one of the most important.

[I believe we need to make exit polls the OFFICIAL results for the elections and eliminate actual voting altogether.]

I believe! I do! I do! I do!

[Close your eyes tight, Dorothy, lean back, click your heels together, and repeat after me three times: “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!”]

I believe that humans can transcend the artificial limits set by fear. I believe, I believe, I believe!

[I believe that humans can enter a space/time continuum wormhole and rematerialize in another galaxy. I believe, I believe, I believe!]

I believe truth will triumph.

[I believe truth will triumph and Andy Stephenson will be indicted for fraud.]

I believe flying monkeys really hate it when they see us believin' So, guess what, monkeys? I BELIEVE! Why does it scare them so much, I wonder, that we believe? Why are the sore winners so afraid?

[I believe you’ve been spanking your flying monkey so much that you actually believe you are making folks scared of you.]

We believe that the Constitution was put in place for a reason. We believe that every citizen's right to vote is sacred and must be protected. We believe that no person is above the law, no matter how charismatic (or not) they may appear. We believe that treason is treason, no matter what political party is in power. We believe that we have been called to protect the freedoms that we have come to enjoy. We will not fail in this noble calling. We will Never Give Up. I Believe

[We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.]

I Believe. I still believe all of it.

[Any BS you feed me---I still believe all of it.]

I believe too. You are right bleever, they underestimated us.
A dangerous error on their part.
I believe the time of reckoning is at hand.
The truth will always find it's way out of the darkness and into the light.
Never Giving Up.

[The EVIL Republicans fatal error---underestimating DUmmie Denese. The time of (play a foreboding tune) RECKONING is at hand!]

I believe KERRYS BACK !
GO GET THEM JOHN!

[I believe John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. YEEEEHAW!]

I believe that the perfect storm might be brewing, and Monday could be a very interesting day!

[A Perfect Rovian Storm. NEWSFLASH! Monday already came and went and John Kerry was MIA…as usual.]

Everything in Life is timing. He's an "old" enough Soul to patiently await the right time...NOW.

[Maybe I underestimated Kerry. Is he going to wait to be inaugurated on Jan. 21?]

There be hope, Mates, I Believe we are not so all alone. And I do Believe this thread has picked me up!

[When nothing else is working for you, perhaps an utterly meaningless DUmmie thread will do the trick.]

I believe in the strength , will and ability of this community to succeed in whatever we take on together.

[Well, DUmmie sfexpat2000, you successfully conned the gullible DUmmies to the tune of $50,000 for Scamdy and I BEEEELEEEEVE you could do it again.]

I believe that it's actually getting easier to believe that justice for the theft of the 2004 election will surely come. At first, it was a matter of faith for many of us. Faith generated action and conversation. Action and conversation, through persistance, generated more action and conversation. And to an anti-democratic cabal that seeks to control the system, and thwart anything resembling checks and balances (the root of the genius of our founders), action and conversation are poison. They count on us shutting up, moving on, and not making waves.

[And faith generated action and conversation. Then it generated more action and conversation followed by meaningless blah-blah which generated persistent fatigue followed by deep sleep. When I wake up I BEEELEEEVE John Kerry will be President!]

The "I Believe" archives. Five earlier threads, starting with Doohickie's first one, started just a few days after the stolen election. These five "I Believe" threads had a total of 1985 responses. And with the latest thread, we've passed the 2000 mark. It makes me very proud to be a part of this, and to know you all.

[It makes me VERY PROUD, DUmmie bleever, to know you are continuing these utterly meaningless “I Believe” threads. Let’s get together again at your “I Believe XXVI” thread in January 2009.]

Of course, I BELIEVE. I believe in righteousness and justice. Sooner or later, these will catch up to the shrub. I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.

[I am Doohickie, making a cameo appearance, and I approve the unclear message of this latest completely meaningless “I Believe” thread which I started last year.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-06-05 ("Why Latinos Are Walking Out on the Democrats")

I live in South Florida so it is NO SURPRISE to me “Why Latinos Are Walking Out on the Democrats” which is the title of this DUmmie THREAD. The big problem now for the DUmmies and their Democrat cohorts is that NOT ONLY the Cuban-Americans are voting conservative. I happen to know that the Venezuelans and the Colombians are equally conservative. And with some Democrats like Hillary PRETENDING to back away from their pro-abortion stance, we see what the reason is. Being pro-abortion is KILLING the Democrats with all Hispanic groups including Mexican-Americans. Speaking of Hillary, the reason why Karl Rove is working so diligently to make her the Democrat ’08 nominee is that he knows Latinos have a strong aversion towards her. Anyway, let us now watch the DUmmies wring their hands over the fact that the Latinos are abandoning the Left. The agonizing DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, saying “Hasta la vista, Baby!” is in the [brackets]:

Why Latinos Are Walking Out on the Democrats

[Maybe it is because the read the advanced Spanish language copy of the DUmmie FUnnies book (con CD-ROM para las cuentas de caricaturas).]

“On his recent victory tour of Washington, Antonio Villaraigosa admonished a group of Democratic activists that their party needed to concentrate more on outreach and diversity. But if Los Angeles' first Hispanic American mayor in 133 years really wants to show his party how it's done, he could easily point to the other side of the nation's partisan divide, where Republicans have made unprecedented inroads toward building a solid base among Latino voters.”

[Somebody needs to tell the mayor the only way the Democrats that the only way for the Democrats can “outreach” to Latinos is to change their basic philosophy…..which AIN’T gonna happen.]

“While Cuban Americans have historically voted Republican by wide margins, primarily because of the GOP's strong anti-communist credentials, Americans of Mexican, Central American and South American descent have been equally ardent supporters of the Democratic Party and its candidates. But that Democratic advantage is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Over the last three presidential election cycles, Latino American support for Democrats has steadily declined, from the 72% that voted for Bill Clinton in 1996 to the 53% that John Kerry received last year.”

[And in 2008, Hillary will be getting a much smaller percentage of the Latino vote than horseface got. Message to DUmmies: Hillary WILL be your candidate and there is NOTHING you can do to change that fact. Carlos Rove has spoken. So let it be done.]

Although these percentages are based on exit polling and the precise numbers are still being debated, the overall trend is beyond dispute, and a party that loses nearly a quarter of a core constituency in less than a decade is a party with cause for distress. And when that constituency represents the country's fastest-growing demographic — the U.S. Latino population has doubled since 1980 and is expected to increase even more rapidly over the next 20 years — Villaraigosa has every right to be concerned.

[I don’t know much about Villaraigosa. Is there any chance that he could (gasp!) come over to the DARK SIDE?]

Various theories try to explain this shift in voting behavior. Like most ethnic groups that immigrated to America during the 19th and 20th centuries, Latinos became more conservative economically as they achieved greater prosperity. Also, Latinos serve in the armed forces at much higher levels than any other ethnic or racial group, leading to higher support of the Republican agenda for national security and military preparedness. Finally, there are rising numbers of Latino voters, both Catholic and evangelical, who relate to the GOP's platform on issues such as abortion and same-sex marriage.

[The weird thing about Latina women is that the more religious they are, the HOTTER and more forward they are, unlike their non-Hispanic counterparts. Hey! I’m NOT complaining! Just making a very pleasant personal observation.]

Although I do not agree with this totally. I did see three GWB signs on the lawns of hispanic families on my street last year. This does bear looking into to stop any repug shift.

[I can just picture teams of DUmmie programmers trying to convince conservative Latinos just how wrong they are.]

Well one thing to do is to stop the one-night stands. Dems only court Blacks and Latinos when there is an election a foot. After that the Dem power machine vanishes.

[LOL! One-night stands. Great analogy. The Democrats are SCREWING their own constituencies. SLAM! BAM! THANK YOU, MA’AM!]

No matter what some say we need the moderates too.

[I think I know who the moderates are. They are the ones who get consistently tombstoned in Dummieland.]

Dean and Hillary are both trying to open the tent.

[Laugh line of the day!]

I ahve seen a good number of hispanics who I know were born in the US moving to the repug party. If you look at the demographics this is an issue we need to look at hard.

[After the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories) the movement AWAY for the Democrats will be even FASTER.]

I live in a city that is very hispanic, and I see them going to the right. I have seen the first and second generation of hispanics born in the US getting more and more repug. We need to reach out to them and listen to their views if we want to win any sort of national election.

[I have an idea. Why don’t you have Pied Piper Pitt lecture the Latinos on how wrong they are and maybe it will put them to sleep through the next election.]

I believe we need to find a way to truly accept people into the democratic party who believe there needs to be limits on abortion.

[But God forbid that any of those same folks ever go up for Senate approval to the judiciary. Chuckie Schumer would rake them over the coals for being “extremists” and “out of the mainstream.” Newsflash! You can’t blast judicial nominees who favor limits on abortion and then expect to appeal to Latino voters.]

Dean was right. We need to open the doors to anti-abortion folks. Come up with a plan to be more inclusive of those with different views in that area than we do. Bill and Hillary's Safe, Legal, and Rare will work.

[Yeah. That bit of trickery will work…NOT!]

I'm sorry but this doesn't have to do with abortion as much as it does people voting their religion. When that religion abuses it's power like so many of these churches have done, how do we counter that? With priests standing up there and decrying abortion but not point out all the other lives that are lost due to republicans policies.

[So what are you gonna do? Indict the clergy for Thought Crimes and try them before the World Court?]

I think the government should finance elections. Each candidate has to get a required amount of signatures, including a certain amount he personally solicited and then they get government financing. They get only a certain amount, with no outside contributions. We could then see how they spend their money and if they are fiscal responsible and creative. Non millionaires could then actually run for office.

[Oh, and don’t forget about the requirement making it illegal for conservatives to run for office. That’s important too.]

The yuppie party doesn't do outreach to the untouchables.

[Irony, thy name is “DUmmie.”]

I live in Houston, yes very red, but also very hispanic and I would say of the hispanics I know who I have talked politics with (about 10) it is split 60-40 in favor of the repugs. I post this as a warning. We can not win with out them now and more so in the future.

[Maybe you should just give up on trying to keep Latinos in the Democrat party in favor of recruiting Ruthenian immigrants. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Get that surging Ruthenian population to support the Democrats. Unfortunately, the Ruthenian-American population recently suffered a major loss of about 20% of its total when Sandra Dee died.]

RIGHTWING TALKING POINTS......WHY DO WE KEEP POSTING THEM??? WHY DO WE CONTINUELY LET THEN FRAME OUR DEBATE...JESUS H CHRIST!

[So that the DUmmie FUnnies readers can laugh at you.]

Like it or not we need to find out why and fcind a way to reverse it.

[Sorry. Won’t happen. The moment you come up with any rational suggestion you will be blasted as a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

They're acting to create a new reality.

[John Kerry WILL be inaugurated on Jan. 20!]

The town I live in outside Houston is 50% hispanic. I saw a lot of hispanics vote R last year. I do not think this is propaganda, I have seen it.

[Check the backs of those Hispanics necks for small green leafy growths. It could be an attack of the Cuerpo Snatchers.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-03-05 ("Are we really going to let the GOP talk us into running Hillary?")

Has Andy Stephenson entered a DUmmieland Witness Protection Program? For the past few days, ever since Andy began publicly harassing the relatives of Bev Harris by posting their names and personal information about them, Scamdy has DISAPPEARED. In fact ALL MENTION in Dummieland about Scamdy’s “pancreatic cancer” has disappeared and if any there are so bold as to post any reference to Scamdy, Skinner immediately sends it down the Memory Pitt. As to Pied Piper Pitt, following his much ballyhooed posting of documents “proving” that Scamdy did indeed have pancreatic cancer, he has retracted his head into his turtle shell and REFUSES to further comment about those documents. One big reason is that those documents Pitt posted accurately predicted in an April 27 FAX that Scamdy would have surgery during the week of May 23 even though at the time of the FAX the surgery was still scheduled for May 10 and wasn’t rescheduled until almost 2 weeks after the FAX was sent. Right now the DUmmies are hoping that the whole Andy Stephenson Situation (as Skinner called it) would just go away. Unfortunately for DUmmieland, the DUmmie FUnnies will STILL shine the light on this scandal which demonstrates what a bunch of dim-witted gullible fools the DUmmies were. Until Scamdy or Skinner or Pitt makes a full public confession (or are indicted) the DUmmie FUnnies will consistently hammer the DUmmies on this subject in all future DUmmie FUnnies. This edition of the DUmmie FUnnies based on a DUmmie THREAD titled, “Are we really going to let the GOP talk us into running Hillary?” will continue smoking out the DUmmies on this point. As usual the DUmmie postings still in Scamdy Denial are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to reveal some inside political info he recently received, is in the [brackets]:

Are we really going to let the GOP talk us into running Hillary?

[Consider it payback for talking us into nominating Bob Dole in 1996. Bob Dole didn’t so much run to win as to merely build up his resume. Somehow this latter seemed very important to Dole in his future career of doing Penile Erectile Dysfunction commercials on TV. At least we have no doubt that Dole suffered from this problem (no one admits to this condition unless they really had it) but we STILL don’t know what sort of medical problem Andy Stephenson had although it was almost certainly NOT pancreatic cancer.]

I think she would be an awful candidate. She's not that great a speaker, clearly not at all concerned about corporate power, posturing more and more "moderate" all of the time. The Senate alone has at least a dozen other Democrats who would make better candidates than her.

[All the more reason why Karl Rove has designated her as your ’08 nominee.]

But the GOP is licking its fetid chops, man. They can just about taste the hatefest they would enjoy if she were running. There would be no holds barred on the calumny and slander that they would rain down on her.

[Karl Rove has put out a directive to NOT accuse Hillary of faking a pancreatic cancer operation. Something like that is OFF-LIMITS.]

They are walking a fine line, though. Having demonized her for more than 10 years now, they need to talk Democrats into getting her through the primaries, so they have to cool it down a bit and talk about what a great potential candidate she would be. David Broder put up a column not too long ago just like that.

[Psst! Why do you think the Bushes and Bill Clinton are acting like buddies now? It’s all part of the Rovian Master Plan.]

But they can't stop talking about her. Both Hannity & Colmes and Bill O'Rodent had segments on her Tuesday night. What other Democratic politician gets so much attention from those loons?

[Kerry recently got a flurry of press attention when he FINALLY signed his Form 180 to release his military records to the public. Yes, he FINALLY signed Form 180 and now we are waiting for him to FINALLY drop that signed form in the mail.]

Thinking "well, if the GOP hates her so much, they must be afraid of her, therefore she would be a great candidate" is the trap the Democrats cannot, must not, walk into. Step away. This will be the most important national IQ test for the Democrats in a long time.

[I am SO CONFIDENT of the low DUmmie IQ that I can flat out state the Rovian Game Plan without the slightest fear that you DUmmies can do anything about it. Hey! If you were DUmb enough to send in your money to Andy Stephenson for a phony pancreatic cancer operation then you certainly will easily be manipulated by Karl Rove despite advance warning.]

Having said all that, I'd vote for her in a heartbeat next to any GOP candidate. But please Lahd, and all my fellow Democrats, please don't let it come to that.

[It WILL come to it. And now to announce the ULTIMATE DUmmie nightmare, DUmmie ProfessorPlum. Not only is Karl Rove saddling you with Hillary but the GOP candidate for ’08 has already been decided upon---Dick Cheney. You think that Bob Woodward story about Cheney being drafted in ’08 was just idle speculation? A Republican Deep Throat handed that story to Woodward to pass along. The fact is if Cheney’s doctors give him the go-ahead and IF Cheney is convinced there is a groundswell of support for him, he WILL run in ’08. Look forward to a CONTINUATION of the Bush policies following the next election.]

condi vs. mccain. rove attacks once again.

[Nope. Cheney vs McCain=Cheney Winner. Rove STRIKES again!]

Let them run their nutcase ... and we should pick someone sensible. I like HC, but she simply has no chance for victory. All the general polls do not change the fact that swing state voters will not bite.

[Nutcase McCain might run but he CAN’T win against Cheney. “President Cheney.” Prepare for those words, DUmmies.]

If the Democratic Party runs Hillary ( a pro-war neodem), it deserves to lose. But we don't. If we can't get the party to wake up, the real Democrats ought to put together their own ticket with real Democrats.

[Hillary WILL be your losing candidate. Live with it.]

the media and GOP dictated who our candidate would be and those fine tuned political machines in Iowa and New Hampshire went for it hook, line and sinker. *cough*assholes*cough* It's been interesting to watch the same exact process being put into motion yet again.

[Interesting and FUnnie to see the Democrats falling for it ONCE AGAIN. ’08 will be a DOUBLE WHAMMIE for you folks. Hillary as your losing nominee and Cheney as OUR President.]

Even if she doesn't run, the GOP will make money on the RW's fear that she will. That's why we're hearing so much about her right now.

[All part of the Vast Rovian Storm. Hillary’s name will raise TONS of money. However, she WILL be your nominee. Make no mistake about that. So Rove has said. So let it be done.]

I guess that now, they want to tout her as the be-all of candidates for Dems in 08. We need someone who can WIN and I'm not sure Hillary can - which is why I think they are trying to ram her down our collective throats. And of course, they've subcontraced the MSM to help them do it.

[Choke on the Hillary in your collective throats!]

Sad to say, I don't like her enough to defend her when the hate fest revs in gear. And, I would never vote for either.

[HILLARY vs CHENEY = GOP LANDSLIDE]

We need her but we are too goddam stupid to elect her, so we don't deserve her.

[Hillary is just TOO GOOD for us. We don’t deserve her. Also we don’t deserve that other candidate for sainthood---Andy Stephenson.]

actually, technically, she is a horrendous speaker that has never squelched the "ah" impulse.

[Ah. You know, Hillary, um, does seem to, you know, have that, ah, problem.]

What if it was MCCain vs Clark. That would be interesting.

[About as realistic as Andy Stephenson’s pancreatic cancer. 2008 will be Hillary vs Cheney. Count on it.]

DUmmie FUnnies 06-01-05 (Scamdy Post-Hospital Thread On DUmmieland DELETED By Skinner!!!)

It’s Pied Piper Pitt’s WORST nightmare. Scamdy has left Johns Hopkins Hospital (according to Scamdy) and is now posting in DUmmieland as you can see (UPDATE: Thread ELIMINATED by Skinner) in this THREAD titled, “Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is?” Actually, Scamdy, the only thing I really want to guess is why the April 27 FAX posted by your cheerleader Pitt as “proof” that you have pancreatic cancer was able to accurately predict back then that you would have surgery on the week of May 23 when it was ORIGINALLY scheduled for May 10. Perhaps Mrs. Harasaki is the one who sent the FAX and possesses some sort of psychic powers to look into the future since it wasn’t until almost two weeks AFTER the FAX was sent that your surgery was rescheduled to the week of May 23. However, welcome back Scamdy. Your recovery has been truly miraculous. In fact you were even able to make cell phone calls and sing Broadway show tunes from your ICU and even make a few posts on the Web even though Pitt has recently threatened to “smash you” if you make more posts in DUmmieland. UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! Apparently Skinner is also quite FRIGHTENED by Scamdy’s appearance in Dummieland since he just tossed this whole thread down the Memory Pitt. Unfortunately for Skinner most of that thread has been PRESERVED here on the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual the jolly healthy Andy Stephenson posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how many more of Scamdy’s posts will be tossed down the DUmmieland Memory Pitt, is in the [brackets]:

Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is?

[The person who sent that Faux Fax that you suckered Pied Piper Pitt into posting on the Web as "proof” that you had pancreatic cancer?]

Guess why this is important and you win a big door prize. First right guess gets a cupie doll.

[That’s KEWPIE Doll and I award those to DUmmies who have a very brief moment of mental clarity. Such an award will be given to the first DUmmie to wonder how someone who supposedly had pancreatic cancer surgery has managed to remain as incredibly active as you have been, Scamdy.]

Andy ... how ARE you doing? Shouldn't you be resting?

[Resting? Hell no! Scamdy is feeling so chipper on the heels of his pancreatic cancer surgery that he is happily belting out Broadway show tunes on his cell phone from his ICU.]

Yeah Andy. How are you feeling these days?

[MUCH BETTER than Pied Piper Pitt. That’s for sure! Pitt has been spending all his time recently on his knees staring mesmerized at Scamdy’s zipper while waiting to be fed the latest bogus document that pops out of Scamdy’s toaster.]

Not feeling so great...the incision will hurt for at least 4 weeks...then I get to have chemo and radiation. Fuuuun!

[The Fuuuun begins when you hit up DUmmieland again for money to pay for the chemo and radiation therapy.]

Who ta hell is Harasaki? Isn't it past your bedtime?

[Why should Scamdy hit the sack when he is so full of energy and other things?]

I am in too much pain to sleep. got out of the hospital today and the bed I am in is...well not as comfortable as the Hopkins bed was.

[Scamdy is not comfortable in his hotel bed. Please send money now for Scamdy to stay in a 5-Star hotel room.]

Got drugs?

[Better hope that Pied Piper Pitt doesn’t have drugs or we might have an OD case.]

yes but not as good as those delivered intravenously.

[Especially those drugs delivered via an intravenous rectal intrusion, Scamdy.]

Happy to see you in back in the game mode Andy!

[Just like he was back in ICU.]

I bet it was the surgeon, yes! and she was married to some other doctor but fell in love with Andy and got divorced and now she's the current Mrs. Andy Stephenson! And now that he's coming off the morphine he's thinking maybe he made a mistake.

[Yes, definitely a mistake. If Scamdy found himself married to Petra Verkaik he would also find himself in a state of deep revulsion. Now…if that fantasy included marriage to Pied Piper Pitt, that would be so much more romantic to Scamdy.]

God I hope not the former Mrs H is well lets just say not the marryin type. Her chidren have been known to desecrate church sancturaries.

[Which is worse: desecrating church sanctuaries or scamming people on the Web?]