Thursday, June 10, 2010

It's not easy being Greene: DUmmies find out more about SC primary winner

The FUnniest race in the country this week was in South Carolina, in the Democrat primary for U.S. Senate. Alvin Greene beat Vic Rawl, to face Republican senator Jim DeMint in the fall. Who is Alvin Greene, you say? I suppose if you don't live in South Carolina, that's understandable. But if you live there, and you're a Democrat voting in your party's primary--well, you'd THINK you'd have a clue who you're voting for. But remember, I said these were DEMOCRATS voting.

Let's watch this thing unfold. I'm picking from several
Alvin Greene THREADS over at DUmmieland. All I can say is: It's not easy being Greene.

And so in his honor, the DUmmie comments today will be in Alvin Green, not Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, looking forward to a DeMint-Greene debate, is in the [brackets]:

Warm congratulations to Alvin Greene.

[Note: This was the first thread, from Tuesday night, when the unknown Greene upset the veteran, well-funded Rawl in the Democrat primary.]

This is a great story.

[Oh, you have no idea!]

DeMInt was favored and thinks he has lucked out, I'm sure. But who's to say that Greene won't be the dragon slayer?

[Yeah, it could happen!]

Democratic Party Chairwoman Carol Fowler says she hasn't seen Greene since he filed to run. . . . She says people who didn't know either candidate and voted alphabetically may help explain Greene's win.

[Oops! Wait! It gets better!]

Some guy signed up to run, did nothing, and then randomly beat the guy who raised $180,000. All this presumably because no one cared enough about the primary to know the difference before they showed up and voted. . . .

[Seems that way! Good thing "Greene" comes before "Rawl"! . . . Or wait! Maybe the voters thought it was Al Green against Lou Rawls, and they liked Al Green better!]

Let's hope he becomes the next Russ Feingold

[Sorry, "Feingold" comes after "DeMint." He needs an "A," "B," or "C" name.]

That would be A-OK with me.

[That's it! Put an "A" in FRONT of "Greene"! "Alvin A-Greene"! That's a winner!]

Who (in the heck) Is Alvin Greene?

[Now we're up to Wednesday, as we find out more . . .]

An unemployed 32-year-old . . . who currently lives in his family's home. . . .

[LOL! He lives with his parents! A typical DUmmie! What's his screen name?]

"I wasn’t surprised, but not really. I mean, just a little, but not much. I knew I was on top of my campaign, and just stayed on top of everything, I just—I wasn't surprised that much, just a little. I knew that I worked hard and did," Greene said in an interview.

[Real coherent, too!]

Greene claims to have criss-crossed the state during his campaign—though he declined to specify any of the towns or places he visited or say how much money he spent while on the road. "It wasn’t much, I mean, just, it was—it wasn’t much. Not much, I mean, it wasn’t much. . . ."

[Sounds like it wasn't much.]

"I'm not concentrating on how I was elected—it's history. I’m the Democratic nominee—we need to get talking about America back to work, what's going on, in America."

["What's Going On"--that was Marvin Gaye, wasn't it?]

Greene has yet to speak to any Democratic officials, either. After filing to run, his campaign went dark.

[That's racist!]

"My campaign slogan: Let's get South Carolina back to work."

[Let's get Alvin Greene back to work!]

I wonder if they knew he was black?

[Now ask yourself this: If you were a certain segment of the South Carolina Democrat-voting population, and you saw the names "Alvin Greene" and "Vic Rawl" on the ballot, and you didn't know anything about either one, which one would you choose?]

I actually think it's kinda cool. Some "random guy" winning a Senate primary.

[Oh, just wait. There's more!]

Alvin Greene Felony Charges

[Ruh roh!]

SC Senate Candidate Asked To Withdraw Over Criminal Past

[Don't do it, Alvin! Don't let THE MAN keep you down!]

Court records show Greene was arrested in November and charged with showing obscene Internet photos to a University of South Carolina student, then talking about going to her room at a university dorm. Charged with disseminating, procuring or promoting obscenity, Greene could face up to five years in prison.

[Hey, look at it this way: This sort of thing could be a PLUS with Democrat voters!]

Wow. Who voted for this guy?

[DEMOCRATS. Repeat: D E M O C R A T S .]

Anybody know what voting machines are in use in SC?

[Diebold, of course! NOW it all becomes clear! Rove, you magnificent. . . .]

Unthinking voters. . . .


That's the trouble with voting for someone you don't know. It's an election...Not a freaking box of chocolates.

[THAT'S racist!!]

Go Alvin!

[Simon and Theodore check in.]

I smell plant.

[That's the marijuana you're smelling.]

watch Greene's demeanor and behavior. Watch his hunched walk, his rubbing hands, his babbling responses, his lack of eye contact. What do you think?

[Your average Democrat!]

PREDICTION: Alvin Greene will be arrested within the next two months

[So what's the problem? He IS a Democrat, after all.]

This poor guy is a real dim bulb.

[This poor guy is a real Dem bulb.]

Well...Alvin Green winning in SC may not be so great after all...

[Ya think?]

The Democratic nominee for the U.S. Senate in South Carolina says he wants to stay in the race, even though his party wants him to step down.

[Don't do it, Alvin! Don't step aside! It's just the white man trying to keep the black man down!]

Meanwhile, new details of his arrests have emerged.

[And so it goes. Pass the popcorn!]


Blogger Tazzerman said...

Laughing TOO hard, can't focus... :) -tm

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Foxx said...

Oh my goodness, troggy ran for public office.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! Now that's funny.

10:22 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

Obviously Greene is a Rove plant*. I mean how else can the Donks explain the nomination of an imbecile. I mean, you know, Democrats wouldn't knowingly nominate an empty suit, like would they?

[* Democrats in South Carolina are already claiming this.]

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

Schadenfreude and snickering aside, perhaps it is time for a basic, simple qualifications screen for anyone who wants to hold public office (or be appointed thereto)!

You know, things like felony imprisonment, pedophilia, attempted murder, murder, square dancing, line dancing, rape, tax evasion...

Just the real obvious stuff. Perhaps even include submission of a valid U.S. Birth Certificate as part of the I.D. credentials.

What a concept.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually trust the voting public enough with their candidates to the point where I don't like the idea of prior restraints on running.

As far as I'm concerned, the voting public deserves whoever they elect.

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Foxx said...

I have to agree with Anon with his point. Elections have consquences and if you vote irresponsibly you get what the government you deserve. Lord help us, we got what we deserve with this lot and now I hope people wake the hell up.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

That's like printing out bad MapQuest directions, erroneously ending up at the White House, sitting down in an oval office, and becoming president.
I guess the ballots in SC don't come handicap/equipped with Braille.

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"This poor guy is really a dim bulb."

"Well...Alvin Greene winning in SC may not be so great after all..."

Really? Do ya think?
The DUmmies come to the sad conclusion that the South Carolina Donks are in a pickle. The voters have somehow elected a non-entity to head their ticket in November. Some Dems are already saying that Greene is a Republican plant, a Rovian stooge.

But Greene is black so the Dems are blue. If the white Dem establishment forces Greene off the ticket, South Carolina blacks will see red.

I suspect Mr. Greene will "voluntarily" step down. Look for black Democrat leaders to grease the skids.

8:42 PM  
Blogger LargeBill said...

Come on now, get him a decently programmed teleprompter and he is ready for prime time.

11:22 AM  
Blogger H.R said...

So funny :D
but please write shorter posts because this one is too long.

7:30 AM  

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