Monday, November 30, 2009

Enthusiasm Gap "Paints Ugly 2010 Picture"

This picture of an audience listening to the Teleprompter-in-Chief captures the mood of Democrats these days. "Yawn! Grumble!" That's the sound of Democrat voters across the land, as we head toward the 2010 midterm elections. Apathy and discontent have spread like herpes at a coed dorm. And dormant Dems spell trouble for the party in power.

A new poll casts a pall on next fall for the Democrat pol. You can read about it at this KOmmie
THREAD, "Weekly Tracking Poll: New Feature Paints Ugly 2010 Picture." It seems Head KOmmie KOs has KOmmissioned a survey, so you would think it would skew toward the skrewy left. Even so, this new tracking poll reveals a HUGH "Enthusiasm Gap" between the Pubs and the Dems, with "Dem" standing for "Demoralized."

But you would think the Democrats would be as giddy as a schoolgirl! They control EVERYTHING--the White House, the Senate, the House. Well, remember 1992-1994? The Dems ran the table in '92, gaining control of everything. Then in '93 they went for the classic overreach--Health Care Reform, anyone? So then what happened in the midterms of '94? The Republicans won control of the Congress! Can history repeat itself? We'll see. But for now the tea leaves are not looking too good for the Democrats.

So let us now step into the gap, with the KOmmie KOmments in Harry Reid Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, hoping the Republicans don't squander the opportunity, is in the [brackets]:

Weekly Tracking Poll: New Feature Paints Ugly 2010 Picture

[TTIUWP: This Thread Is Ugly WITH Pictures!]

The President's numbers continue to soften. . . .

[Barry needs Voter Viagra for his poll.]

this is a weak tracking poll for Democrats and a strong one for Republicans.

[Weakly Tracking Pols.]

With each passing day, the mood of the nation is going to be reflected on the current political leadership in Washington DC, rather than the transgressions and incompetencies of the past leadership. And the mood of the nation appears to be darkening. . . .


But a bigger indicator of peril comes from a new survey question added to the DK tracking poll for the first time this week. The poll now includes a rather simple indicator of baseline voter enthusiasm for the year 2010. . . . QUESTION: In the 2010 Congressional elections will you definitely vote, probably vote, not likely vote, or definitely will not vote? The results were, to put it mildly, shocking:

Voter Intensity: Definitely + Probably Voting/Not Likely + Not Voting
Republican Voters: 81/14
Independent Voters: 65/23

[Better round up some more dead voters!]

This enormous enthusiasm gap. . . .

[Mr. President, we must not allow . . . an enthusiasm gap!]

We MUST pass a good HCR bill and we MUST pass a good jobs bill.

[Yes, go for the socialist overreach! That worked so well for you in '93-'94.]

So the finding that maybe 3-5 million people will take advantage of the public option is a good thing? How about the fact that the vast majority of us, i.e., those who currently have insurance through our employer, won't be eligible to participate? . . . there's absolutely nothing in the bill that prevents them from simply raising rates sky high on EVERYONE to offset their potential profit losses.


This doesn't introduce the necessary competition into the system to lower costs for everyone.


The Rethugs still effectively control everything.

[Sorry, this mess is all on the Dems! You guys control EVERYTHING!]

Why did we bother to elect Democrats if we didn't believe in the ability of a government program to be reasonably well run?

[THAT is the 64 trillion dollar question! Who wants to be insured by Mutual of Obama?]

Explain to me how you expect insurers to lower rates while simultaneously increasing their risk exposure while meeting shareholders needs. . . . Noble idea. . . . But electoral poison for Democrats.

[Drink up!]

People like to believe in magic pixie dust, but those darned magic pixies aren't cooperating.

[I DO believe! I DO believe! I do I do I do!!!]

If President Obama and the Congressional Democrats continue to toss key constituencies like gays and women under the bus, they can expect this kind of enthusiasm gap to continue.

[All we are is pixie dust in the wind. . . .]

They need to get their heads out of their asses. . . .

[Who? The Democrats or the fairies?]

it's about base turnout.

[That's what I'm talking about!]

They've done nothing to date to excite the base. . . .

[Stop it!]

Frankly, I think that hyperbole is a huge part of the problem.

[Hyperbole is absolutely HUGE! It's the biggest problem by FAR!]

did you miss the whole Stupak Amendment controversy?

[Still stuck on Stupak.]

the enthusiasm gap is real. . . . The Prez needs to show some testosterone. . . .

[Loss of essence. He needs to replenish his precious bodily fluids.]

he's about to get a can of ass whuppin' opened on him with the climate change bill. . . .

[Global whupping.]

The base stays home because they're not pleased. Republicans take control of congress, completely putting a halt to everything any Democrat could ever THINK of passing. Yep, that'll show 'em.

[From your lips to Gaia's ears!]

Obama is managing to energize the Rethugs while having the opposite effect on Democrats. Very impressive.

[It's a gift!]

The 2010 Picture may well include Ralph Nader. . . .

[Yes! Unsafe at any age! Ned Lament rides again!]

If Party Leadership . . . proclaims that voters are stupid not to vote Democratic, I predict losses will be even worse. "Vote for us or you're stupid" is not a winner.

[Better: "Vote for us BECAUSE you're stupid!"]

I am absolutely stunned and dismayed that after doing a fantastic job in the White House on every level, President Obama's ratings have gone DOWN. WTF????

[It's UNBELIEVABLE! This man won THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, fer cryin' out loud!!!]

People have such sky-high expectations that short of turning water into wine, the President will be a disappointing failure. . . .

[Yes we Cana!]

Far left makes up about 1-2% of the total electorate, catering to which may result in bigger losses among moderates and more reliable voters.

[Let's hope President Cater keeps catering!]

No health care law passed yet -- while the proposals get crummier every day? Sending more troops and treasure to Afghani-quagmire..... getting suckered by the warmongering Republicants and generals like Johnson did? Letting the architects of torture be held unaccountable? Gays still being kicked out of the military? Giving megabanks a gazillion dollars while letting small ones that provide loans to small people and business wither? Passing an economic stimulus bill rather than a jobs bill?


We can't let this country be taken over by the tea party people.

[Invasion of the Tea Party People! Run away! Run away!]

We need an Orange party.


We voted for change and got Dubya with a tan.

[Chimpy McSame.]

I thought I was getting a new JFK and all I got was Obush.

[Stay outta de Obushes!]

Congress and Obama had this year to do anything big. They blew it.

[Call 'em the Blew Dogs!]

Friday, November 27, 2009

My Quickie Culebra Vacation Part I

Did it really happen? Or was it just a shimmering dream? Two weeks have gone by since my visit to Culebra and it still seems like it wasn't real. Like one of those dreams about a magical place that disappears upon awakening. However, it wasn't a dream. It was real. An earthly paradise. And every night since being there I dream of Culebra but when I awake in the morning, the image does not dissipate with the sharp glare of reality.

The events that led me to arrive in Culebra all clicked together in such a way as to seem supernatural. I won't go into the details but it certainly was a strange series of events. Things that can happen only in a South Florida environment as chronicled in many Elmore Leonard novels. Me tailing the Spanish SUV Guy on the street; an arch enemy of mine almost being beat up by an enraged Big Mama who outweighed him by at least a hundred pounds; picking up at the last minute swim fins, new mask and snorkle, and dive net. You sort of had to be there to fully appreciate what happened. Okay, I'll give you just one example:

The Angry Nerd has been an enemy of mine for years. Actually I didn't realize he was my arch-enemy until the day before I left for Culebra. The Angry Nerd is so insignificant that he never really came up on my radar except on Thursday, Nov. 12. I was at the Swap Shop in Fort Lauderdale looking at the last minute for some dive equipment to take to Culebra. One of my swim fins had broken so I needed a replacement pair. I was asking around to different folks, including to the Angry Nerd. His reaction: to ignore me. Then I sat down at a bench between the Angry Nerd and Al the Vendor's sidekick, Larry.

"Hey Larry! You see anybody selling swim fins?"

Larry told me no. Then I asked the Angry Nerd again thinking maybe he didn't understand me. The Angry Nerd replied in the worst accent imaginable:

"No hablo English."

Now I was pissed, since he spoke barely a word of Spanish but put up that dopey pretense to avoid answering. Fortunately at that moment I became perfectly attuned to what the Angry Nerd's whole deal was. He hated anybody that was extravagantly extroverted which folks have usually described me as being. The Angry Nerd has such a stunted personality, that it bugs him that there are others who can easily relate to others while he remains forever trapped by the shell of his own mind.

"CAMISA!" I yelled, pulling at my shirt.

"ZAPATOS!" I screamed, pointing at my shoes.

"EL CIELO!" I barked, pointing at the sky.

The Angry Nerd got up and started walking away.

I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU LEARN ENGLISH, MI AMIGO!" I roared which caused him to walk even faster.

Suddenly I came upon the phrase that I knew would really get under his skin:


The Angry Nerd hesitated a moment before continuing on.

"SWIM FINS!!!" I repeated.

Judging from his body language I knew I found the Angry Nerd's weak spot. Vengeance is mine sayeth the PJ.

Sooooo... For the next few hours I'm wandering around the Swap Shop looking for my nautical stuff but with no luck on finding the swim fins. Every once in a while I spotted the Angry Nerd which inspired me to repeat "SWIN FINS!!!" several more times. I knew the Angry Nerd would crack...and I was right. It was my final encounter of the day with the Angry Nerd.


And it was then that the Angry Nerd broke out of his shell...possibly for the first time in his life.

"I have a swim fin for you!" he responded angrily as he placed his hand over his crotch and made an obscene flapping gesture. Well, ol' PJ about to reply with something like "Sorry, that swim fin is way too small," when I heard an outraged roar just behind me.

It was Big Mama who outweighed the Angry Nerd by at least a hundred pounds. Big Mama had mistakenly thought the Angry Nerd was making that gesture at her...which was fine by me. The Angry Nerd froze like a deer in the headlights as Big Mama began a loud stream of curses as she waddled quickly in his direction. I had no doubt she fully intended to beat the crap out of the Angry Nerd which would certainly have made my day. However, at the last moment, the Angry Nerd broke out his trace and scurried away like a frightened rabbit while I was bent over laughing. I mean tears in my eyes. It was just that funny. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if the Angry Nerd is right now hiding under his bed waiting for the All Clear signal. Yeah, the ONE TIME in his life he broke out of his shell and he almost got smacked down in a most humiliating way.

Okay, so what happened to Culebra you're probably wondering? Well, this was one of the events just prior to my trip which just clicked together so perfectly so sorry for my digression but is life itself not a whole series of digressions? Therefore I will get back on the road to Culebra so I won't bother you with an account of how I had to follow the Spanish SUV Guy on the road except to say that he caught me tailing him, stopped his SUV in the middle of the road, and ran back to my car yelling, "PORQUE ME SIGUES?"

I told him what I now tell you, it was just one of the mysteries of the universe...except it really was vital that I followed him on the road to get to Culebra.


Okay, let's get going with that. But to do that I have to flash back to several weeks before my trip. I told my wife we should leave on a Thursday and return on a Monday but she didn't want to take off from work (she has Friday's off from her clinic job). I told her to PLEASE ask for a couple of days off.


But we need that time to...


"It's ridiculous! We arrive on Culebra on a Friday night and then the next afternoon we have to return to Puerto Rico."




It was no use. No amount of arguing was going to sway her.

So flash forward to the night before we were to fly to Puerto Rico. I was at my brother-in-law's house which is not far from the Miami airport. I had fallen asleep early and was happily snoring away when my wife woke me up.

"Maybe I should have taken some days off from work."

"Oh, now you figure this out!" I groaned and fell back to sleep, a bit peeved.

The next morning we are at Miami International Airport which for some reason requires folks to be long distance walkers to reach their departure gates. Every time I thought we were at our gate, we had to walk for several minutes longer. What's up with that?

However, the worst part came when we were boarding our flight. My wife asked whether I preferred the window or middle seat. Well, I do prefer the window but I thought my wife would enjoy seeing the Bahama islands as we passed over them so I gallantly offered the window seat to her. Big mistake. As we approached our seats, I saw a mini Jabba the Hut sitting on an aisle seat.

"Please don't be me that has to sit next to him," I silently prayed. My prayer was answered by a look at the row number which told me I would have to sit next to Jabba. This guy was short, barely over 5 feet tall but what he lacked in height, he more than made up for in fat. I mean Jabba the Huttian type fat that flows over the arm rest and squeezes against me. That's how fat he was. So for the rest of the flight I am being CRUSHED by Jabba the Hut's fat as my wife barely ever looked out the window. So much for gallantry.

I have tried to put that miserable experience out of mind, so let us fast forward to landing in Puerto Rico. It was my first visit to that island since leaving as a kid after spending five years there. I could tell you who the first person I ever spoke Spanish to at the tender age of eight but you simply wouldn't believe me. All I'll say is you can see the guy's name at the San Juan airport.

As you can imagine, this was definitely a Back to the Future experience for me. Puerto Rico had changed so much that it was frightening. Yes, I did recognize some places but just barely. I was overwhelmed by that change and it made me quite uneasy. Oh, one thing about Puerto Rico did remain the same: heat and humidity. Yes, we are used to heat and humidity in South Florida but it rarely matches that of Puerto Rico. Plus this was the middle of November and it was in the 60s when we left Miami that morning.

However, this isn't really a chronicle about Puerto Rico. Culebra was the goal.

Well, we reached Fajardo, the easternmost edge of Puerto Rico and the jumping off point for Culebra via ferry. And the first thing I discovered there was that it was a waste of time to rent a car since you have to plan way in advance to ferry it to Culebra. So we parked the car in a Fajardo lot and waited a couple of hours while waiting for the ferry.

Oh, and on that subject, could someone tell me what the deal is at the ferry landing? Its filth and decay was frightening. I mean the paint was peeling off the walls, general filth everywhere, and flooded bathroom floors. Meanwhile the Fajardo civic center was sparkling and beautiful. I know this because we took a wrong turn in Fajardo and ended up at the civic center before backtracking to the ferry landing. To a skeptical mind the word "corruption" could pop up. But enough of politics. I was on vacation and fully intended not to follow the news nor even think about anything political.

Finally the ferry arrived and we boarded (only $4.50 per person round trip). However, I just remembered something that I had forgotten. Seasickness pills. I'm the guy who once actually got seasick sitting on Cleopatra's Barge in Caesar's Palace in Vegas years ago. Fortunately, the entire trip turned out to be enjoyable without a hint of nausea. WHEW!

About an hour later Culebra appeared in the distance. Already I knew there was something different about it. Was it the unusual shoreline with the surrounding smaller islands? I wasn't sure then but now that image appears to me nightly in my dreams.

Then we arrived at the town of Dewey. Pop. 2000 give or take a thousand depending on how many tourists are there.

And at this point, I will take a break in my tale. In Part II, I will describe my experiences on the mystical island.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The heat is on! One brave DUmmie takes on the Warmers!

The heat is on! DUmmieland is heating up, and Climategate is the cause. As you probably have heard by now, a number of e-mails have been leaked from the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit (CRU). These e-mails show that "scientists" there have manipulated and suppressed data that do not support their crusade to prove Anthropogenic (Man-caused) Global Warming. In other words, the CRU has been turning out C-R-U-D. This revelation could be the last nail in the boffins' coffin, the death knell of their increasingly discredited cause. Of course, the DUmmies are more upset about the e-mails being leaked than about the damaging information they contain. And the True Believers are still confessing the creed of the Church of Climatology. But one brave DUmmie is daring to take on the Warmers. He is DUmmie notesdev, and over the last few days, he has shown up on a number of threads to challenge their assertions, as you can track in notesdev's JOURNAL. It's not easy being non-green, but notesdev is taking the heat and not backing down!

Before we go to those threads, though, let's first sing this this musical tribute to the High Priest of the Church of Climatology, the Rev. Algore:

Tune: "Riders on the Storm"

Why it's getting warm
Why it's getting warm
Is it hotter than the norm
Or just turning back to form
Gore would sound the warning horn
And make cars that run on corn
Why it's getting warm

There's an inconsistent flaw
In his scientific law
There's not one single cause
For why an iceberg thaws
The conclusion that he draws
Is giving us guffaws
An inconsistent flaw

Gore, you incoherent goof
Gore, you incoherent goof
It doesn't take a sleuth
To see your lack of proof
Here's an inconvenient truth
It's still freezing in Duluth
You incoherent goof

Why it's getting warm
Why it's getting warm
Is it hotter than the norm
Or just turning back to form
Gore would sound the warning horn
And make cars that run on corn
Why it's getting warm

Why it's getting warm
Why it's getting warm . . .

So now let us go the Warmergate Wars, in Thermometer Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson--looking forward to the annual Thanksgiving threads of DUmmies interacting with their rethuglican relatives, which are always a hoot--is in the [brackets]:

"Climate sceptics claim leaked emails are evidence of collusion among scientists" . . . If these prove to be authentic, it's vital they be read in context. . . .

["In context" means their "facts" are Fake But Accurate.]

I want the truth, no matter which side that is. I know thats not a popular opinion with so many people having vested interests in believing GW is real, but the truth is more important than ideology.


the majority of Russians are FOR global warming. . . .

[Moscow, the new Miami.]

Many of these emails seems to suggest discussion of data manipulation, freezing out skeptics, etc, etc.

[Nonsense! Why, these men are SCIENTISTS! They could not possibly be politically driven!]

GCC is a serious threat. . . .

[Notice how "Global Warming" has recently been modified to "Global Climate Change."]

Scientists have no horse in this race, therefore no reason to "lean" either way.

[Two words: Research grants. Now to the first post from DUmmie notesdev. . .]

I'm not going to make myself popular among the followers of that religion, but I am familiar with the scientific method and "global warming" has always struck me as offensive to it. I have been slack-jawed more than once, watching the extreme energy consumption excesses of Al Gore - the palatial mansions far beyond his needs, the constant travel on private jets, the SUVs - and trying to figure out how the true believers can be so blind to the complete disconnect between how he lives and what he claims to be true. He is well on his way to becoming a billionaire, profits sucked right out of the pockets of the suckers who took him at his word... and still, it doesn't seem to register with them that his behavior does not match up with his words. If carbon dioxide is such a problem, why is he producing it at a rate unmatched by all but a few other human beings on the planet? Nor did they blink an eye at the sudden Orwellian switch from "global warming" to "climate change", just as the hard proof was becoming known, that the planet as a whole is not warming at all. Real scientists don't find reasons to explain that away - they say, these are the facts, this is the truth, and let the chips fall where they may.

[DUmmie notesdev, you are far worse than a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL! You are a HERETIC!!! But please continue . . .]

So many claims that have been made by proponents of this agenda have been proven false, that it amazes me that anyone is still foolish enough to believe it. If the initial claims were true we would never have made it to the year 2000, the world was scheduled to end well before then. Was it so long ago that the predictions of increasing hurricane activity, made in the wake of Katrina, went silent as several quiet hurricane seasons passed?


You needn't go back very far to see hysterical prediction after hysterical prediction, that the world should already have ended many times over if these "scientists" (who were actually political agitators and not scientists at all) were correct.


Back in the day when I was just a small child, I read a fairy tale called Chicken Little. "The sky is falling!" "The sky is falling!" My friend, the sky is not falling. Climate change is perfectly natural and has gone on since the earth formed from protoplanetary mass, and that change is driven by the sun, something we can do nothing about. Global warming is a complete and total fraud.


Glen Beck, is that you?

[You've been reading the DUmmie FUnnies, haven't you?]

Why are you using right-wing talking points?

[This is called DUmmiegenic Subject Change, diverting attention from the evidence that the boffins were manipulating data.]

do you acknowledge that AGW may in fact be happening?

[A Warmer comes back at notesdev.]

An extreme improbability. Anything is possible. . . . Me plucking a nose hair in 1979 could have set off the course of events that eventually resulted in Pittsburgh winning the Superbowl last year, too. Nor could one conclusively disprove that we are not all sitting in pods, living in a virtual world constructed by a malicious alien artificial intelligence intent on harvesting our body heat for energy. . . . Each of these hypotheses has about an equal chance of being true, i.e. none.

[You are indeed a brave soul, DUmmie notesdev!]

Hiding data, deleting data, cherry picking, choosing techniques for the specific purpose of achieving an outcome that conforms to a preconception, failure to admit levels of uncertainty, failure to test a hypothesis, political advocacy, and more - it is a virtual catalogue of things that a scientist must not do in order to establish the credibility of their results. . . . These leaked emails provide yet the latest proof that nothing resembling scientific method is involved in arriving at conclusions promoted by AGW advocates.

[Notesdev, with all this mental clarity, you are now the frontrunner for Kewpie Doll of the Year! Keep going, with a post from another thread . . .]

if I assert there's a giant space dragon hiding behind the sun, who will only be appeased if we coat the moon in peanut butter, otherwise he'll eat the planet... are you going to rush to the Cape Canaveral with a jar of Skippy? (Pay no attention to my massive investment in peanut futures)

[Moonbatogenic Goober Warning.]

it's too late to make a difference- so why bother with it at this point? eat, drink, and be merry, for sometime this century- we die.

[Is that you, Joyceleyn Elders? Back to notesdev, on yet another thread . . .]

The biggest scientific scandal of the century, and all we get on DU is apologia and cover-up. This is extremely disappointing.

[This is extremely predictable. Like this Warmer apologist . . .]

It's pointless to respond seriously to wackadoodle denialism.

[The wackadoodle denialism right now is coming from who ignore the boffins' manipulation of the data. One final post from notesdev, on still another thread . . .]

I can name quite a few motives. It sure beats toiling away as an obscure and unknown climate scientist in East Anglia, if instead you get to jet the world and be a big shot at conferences, because everyone is celebrating the latest advances based on your revolutionary new results. Cushy jobs, pretty nice salary, be the big man on campus, big budgets to play with. . . . Book deals, important posts, maybe some nice undergrad climate babes, you name it. . . .

[Boffins: 'Bring on the climate babes!' Now to close, a few final thoughts from some other DUmmies . . .]

It is going to take a revolution. . . .

[The DUmmies are revolting!]

few us are willing to or even capable of making really major changes to our lifestyle. I like hot showers in the morning and I use toilet paper.

[Brown underwear = Green planet.]

Copenhagen is about one thing: getting "rich" countries to give money to "developing" nations.

[Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

Sunday, November 22, 2009

KOmmies and DUmmies Hate Hilarious SNL Skit

Okay, I was planning on doing a special DUFU edition today about my recent trip to the island paradise of Culebra in the Caribbean. However, I will write that up in the near future because I have to SHARE with you one of the most HILARIOUS SNL episodes ever as you can see in this VIDEO.

I can't get enough watching it. The skit portrays the press conference with Obama and Chinese President Hu (Hu's on first?). I must have seen it at least a dozen times today and still can't get enough of it. It is falling down laughing FUnnie!!! However, be warned. Some of the sexual content has disturbed a few conservatives. Not me. Those references fit PERFECTLY into the skit.

Meanwhile the KOmmies and DUmmies are quite upset with the skit because it beautifully skewers not only Obama but wasteful government programs as well. You can see how upset the KOmmies are in this THREAD, "SNL Takes on President Obama's Economic Policy." Meanwhile the DUmmies are worried about the public perception of Obama's socialism because of this skit in this THREAD, "SNL Review: Honeymoon's Over." So enjoy the fall down FUnnie SNL skit with the added bonus of the KOmmies and DUmmies getting enraged over it in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who already knows Ben Burch will love it despite its political orientation, is in the [barackets]:

SNL Takes on President Obama's Economic Policy

[Suddenly the KOmmies are going to hate SNL.]

Fred Armisen's impression still blows, but the tone of the sketch is still, how you say, scathing. And, rare for an SNL skit this season, it's actually pretty funny.


I wonder if this skit is a reflection of the national mood. Obama's polling below 50 per cent in some polls, and people are still very obviously very uneasy about the economy. Things will turn around, but until they do, expect more sketches and comedy pieces (on The Daily Show) like this.

[And expect outrage from your fellow KOmmies.]

What I have heard is that China's got an awful environment. It's really toxic in some places (air, water). There are hundreds of millions of smokers in China. Lung disease is already a big problem in many of the large cities but with the added burden of smoking, things are going to get worse.

[Be careful what you say about the Chinese. We owe them almost a trillion bucks and they are ticked off because the debt will be repaid in increasingly worthless Obamabucks. I can't blame the Chinese president in this skit for being more than a little upset with The One.]

This is what SNL is missing. China did not develop itself. Wall Street developed China as a exercise in labor arbitrage.

[A FUnnie skit and this KOmmie responds with a humorless economic lecture.]

I did take a look at the sketch here just now, and I don't know, but is there any modicum of respect for this president.

[Somehow methinks you weren't the least bit worried about this respect bit when Bush was president.]

SNL should really stick to making fun of Conservatives. Their Fox News skit last week was awesome. Making fun of our eloquent, intelligent Pres who is doing the best he can to fix a very broken country is just not funny.

[This KOmmie is only satisfied with one-sided humor. Make FUn of Bush: HILARIOUS!!! Make FUn of Obama: NOT FUnnie.]

don't mind SNL taking equal opportunity pot shots, but at least make us laugh. I thought this was pretty weak, and if we're not laughing in recognition, it isn't making much of a point with viewers.

[You thought it was weak? I could watch it two DOZEN times and still not quit laughing.]

or him to continue to talk about the deficit as if it is something that needs to be paid back is quite disheartening.

[You want to be the one who tells the Chinese that Obama should weasel out of the debt we owe them? And now on to the DUmmies...]

SNL Review: Honeymoon's Over

[More accurately: Worship service over.]

The rape metaphor is getting a LOT of use these days. Obama portrayed as a rapist. Hmmm.

[Ben Burch fantasizes. And I know which parts of the skit he is replaying over and over.]

SNL has been making unfunny jokes about Obama since 2007. There were never any gloves to start with.

[Really? Until recently it has been mostly hero worship all the way.]

I thought this one was really disgusting. Not at all funny. President Obama has been doing great things with his international diplomacy. He has had to tread a very careful line with the People's Republic of China because they bought up a lot of the debt that the Bush Gang stacked up with their reckless, expensive wars of choice, and their deregulated finance sector swapping bundles of toxic assets that we had to bail out.

[The One must never be mocked.]

So the HA HA look at China sticking out its ass for him to kiss sketch was really grotesque. Not funny at all. I had to turn it off part way. Watched a minute or two to see if it got anywhere but no-- it just seemed like jackass humor. And frankly, it seemed like a right wing point to me-- look at our president kissing the ass of foreign officials-- he should be bombing them instead! The right wing wants the USA to have an imperial presidency, bombing everyone instead of wasting time with all that wimpy diplomacy.

[Um...I think it was for a bit more than just kissing.]

Or it could even have been trying to make the opposite point-- Hey China wants us to kiss their ass but President Obama didn't. Hey he's cool. China knows full well they don't have to get President Obama to kiss their ass; previous administrations had already done that. While some basic international facts are not understood by many Americans, thanks to the Foxification of our news, the rest of the world knows China owns most of our national debt so we are beholden to them and have to walk a very delicate line.

[Again, a bit more than mere kissing. You definitely are NOT Ben Burch.]

Because either way-- "Look at our President-- he doesn't kiss anyone's ass" -- or -- "Look at our President having to kiss ass in China" -- either way is broad-stroke jackass stuff. It undercuts our president's efforts to demonstrate to the world that we have some reasonable people who understand our position as one nation in the global community and are interested in negotiating our future with respect for all parties.

[This DUmmie must be the life of the party...NOT! Plus he doesn't even get it about the bending over bit. Please have Ben Burch explain it to you.]

They don't base it on any facts just made up shit that they think is suppose to be funny.

[Sorry but what makes this skit hilarious is precisely because it is strongly based on facts. And now I think I'll watch it again.]

Friday, November 20, 2009

Going Rabid: Palin Madness Syndrome (PMS) hits DUmmieland!

She's the woman of the moment! Sarah Palin! You betcha! Her book, "Going Rogue," is a bestseller. Her book tour is drawing rock-star crowds. She's the talk of the talk shows. And one other claim to fame: She infuriates the Left! She scares them out of their minds! Palin's ability to connect with the American people, combined with her conservative positions, makes her a real threat. So, the liberal media try to destroy her (see the latest Newsweak), which only makes her MORE popular with Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public!

Thus the DUmmies are going RABID right now! Palin Madness Syndrome (PMS) is breaking out like swine flu in a pigsty! Let's draw a sample from this
THREAD, "Pilin' On Palin." So don your breathing mask, because we're going DUmmie, in Rogue Rage Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who'd rather go Sarah Palin than parasailin', is in the [brackets]:

Pilin' On Palin

[Straight from the DUngpile.]

people who can’t put two coherent sentences together . . .

[That'd be Obozo when Hal the Teleprompter breaks down. "Um . . . uh . . . uh. . . ."]

. . . but “write” books nonetheless.

[Like "Dreams from My Father, Barack Obama Sr.," by Bill Ayers.]

a political system that allows for anyone so obviously incompetent to rise within its ranks. . . .

[Like Community-Organizer-in-Chief Barry Obama.]

a political party so devoid of circumspection it would not merely allow such a person to come within a heartbeat of the presidency. . . .

[Say hello to Vice-President Biden.]

an unethical hypocrite. . . .

[John Edwards.]

has often used her political clout as a means to destroy her perceived enemies and enrich herself financially. . . .

[Mrs. Clinton.]

Even W, in his glory days, never went so far as to proffer the ability to see Russia from one’s front porch as experience in international affairs. . . .

[Neither did Governor Palin. She never said that.]

Of course, W also lacked something that Sarah has in spades – her talent for playing the role of the persecuted victim, a part that is still deemed unacceptable for those of the male persuasion. In other words, if W had been endowed with Sarah’s t*ts. . . .

[There's a whiff of sexism in the air. I can smell it approaching.]

Simply put, W, by virtue of his gender, couldn’t play girl. . . . Saucy Sarah. . . . Sarah Palin is that guest at a dinner party who was invited only to balance the seating arrangements when it was realized that the party was one female short. . . . the proud owner of a vagina – no further credentials necessary. . . . Sarah went on to become much more than the dumb broad from central casting. . . .

[Yep, that's what it is, alright!]


[I heard Joe Biden has a new book too. "Going Rogaine."]

She's sparkly and seems to have a super-power of drawing attention to herself. And she does it all backasswards and in high heels.

[Going Vogue.]

I liken her popularity here to Hasselhoff's popularity in Germany. . . .

[Ich bin ein Baywatcher.]

Never, ever, underestimate the stupidity of the American public!

[Hey, they elected Obambi, didn't they?]

I'd guess that the vast majority of those buying this piece-of-trash book will not actually read it. I'd guess it'll just be a trophy, proudly displayed on a coffee table or on a bookshelf jammed with Boyd's Bears and Elvis memorabilia, or perhaps alongside the only other book in the house -- the bible.

[The Bible! BOOO!!!!]

I believe this book is going to be the next big 'unwanted item of the year' at citywide (and otherwise) yard sales. It will go down in history next to the Thigh Master, Westbend red electric woks, treadmills and anything country blue.

[I once had a country-blue red electric wok, so I could wok on my treadmill. Does that count?]

It just goes to show you how far one can go with t*ts and lipstick.

[The Barney Frank Story.]

the "I can see Russia from my house" line was from Tina Fey, not Sarah Palin. Let's be fair.


There's an island at the ass end of the Aleutians, Shemya, that is 12 miles from Siberia. . . . Maybe on a clear day you could catch a glimpse of the Siberian shoreline.

[It's an optical Aleutian.]

"ignorant-and-proud-of-it"--that is one of many things that I don't miss about living in Georgia. . . . the example that still sticks in my head after many years is the guy at the super-sized grocery store who seemed so damn proud that he'd never even heard of the kinds of cheese we were looking for.

[Going Roquefort.]

Now I sit her trying to envision Bush as a cross dresser with t*ts.

[Is that you, benburch?]

Somewhere in the deep recesses of their dangerous little minds...they see Ronald Reagan.

[Going Reagan. Hiss! Boo!]

We do such a good job obsessing with non-entities like Palin. . . . This person, that half of DU's stories are about on any given day, is the same person that we ourselves admitted was a terrible candidate and the downfall of McSame's campaign. And yet we are still so scared of her.

[Going Rove.]

What is about these female candidates like Hillary and Palin that we can never just move on?

[And they call US sexist!]

I just call her...The Twit.

[I think you got a "w" in there by mistake.]

It's like she is saying to millions of housewives that love her, its okay you can watch soap operas all day and read the enquirer and go to church and be president. That is all it takes.

[Despotic Housewives.]

United States of the Peter Principle.

[Barry Obama, Exhibit A.]

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The DUmmies say "No deal!" to PelosiCare

Well, it looks like we're not the only ones who can't stand the House health "reform" bill. The DUmmies hate PelosiCare too! Of course their reasons may not line up with ours, but still, it shows that NOBODY really likes what the Dems are doing, and that's a good thing.

BTW, before we get into this thread, did you see the other day where Nurse Nancy claims to have read all 1,900 pages of the bill PLUS 1,300 pages of additional reports? "I've read 3,200 pages," she said. RI-I-IGHT! Nancy, I think we'll have to call you "Pelossio" for that whopper! Is your nose growing?

Look, Pelossio, I recently did a careful reading of an 800-page book, and it took me 60-70 hours, or about 12 pages an hour. For other heavy academic reading, like prepping for comprehensive exams, I could do maybe 30 pages an hour. Let's say with your superior intellect, Nan, you can manage 32 pages an hour. For 3,200 pages, that's ONE HUNDRED HOURS OF READING! Nancy, who ya kiddin'?

Now back to the DUmmies. A small sampling of their displeasure with Nurse Nancy's bill is seen is this
THREAD, "What is the biggest deal-breaker for you on the House health insurance reform bill?" Keep in mind: These are DEMOCRATS on DEMOCRATIC Underground complaining about a DEMOCRAT-passed bill! And they say it's full of "deal-breakers"!

Nurse Nancy is quickly turning into Nurse Ratched for the residents of the DU cuckoo's nest. Their complaints are noted in Got-it-all Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--whose instant deal-breakers on any type of government-run health care are a) it's a violation of the Tenth Amendment, the federal government assuming a power not delegated to it in the Constitution, and b) it's a form of involuntary servitude, forcing some citizens to pay the bills of others--is in the [brackets]:

Poll question: What is the biggest deal-breaker for you on the House health insurance reform bill?

[Deal or No Deal? No deal!]

Poll result (95 votes)
Mandate to purchase insurance from private, for-profit corporation (54 votes, 57%)
No access to "public option" except for the poor and uninsurable (13 votes, 14%)
No effective controls on rising insurance premiums (6 votes, 6%)
The Stupak amendment (10 votes, 11%)
Concerns about availability of health procedures in general (2 votes, 2%)
No regulation of administrative cost ratios (1 votes, 1%)
No ability of states to pursue single-payer plans (2 votes, 2%)
Other (please specify) (7 votes, 7%)

[All of the above (95 votes, 100%)]

Your list only scratches the surface.

[It's Problematic Underground.]

which is why I want to hear from everyone what their own major problems are with the bill.

[Venting session now open! Take a number.]

1,2, and 7.

[25 or 6 to 4. No deal.]

I don't think stupak's will make it past the Senate.

[The Stupak amendment would exclude abortion from the health care coverage. But not being able to kill your baby and have that covered as "health care" is a BIG problem for the DUmmies. No deal.]

Other-all of the above, but top of the list is the mandates. It penalizes the poor who may have too much money to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to buy insurance. It puts them in a "Do I eat, or buy insurance, or risk being penalized and even criminalized if I don't buy the insurance?" position.


What about "I love sausage"


The main concern is that once a bill is signed by Obama, most of our current legislators will never touch health insurance reform again. . . .

[Because they'll be booted out of office in 2010!]

And you know all this how? Maybe your crystal ball needs new batteries . . .

[Batteries not included. Another deal-breaker.]

we can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Even after months of public focus on health care we can barely mobilize any resistance to really bad proposals.


You left out, "all of the above and more." I have not found ANYTHING that is improved by this atrocity.

[It's all bad! No deal.]

It is so far from good that it is not even in the same universe as perfect.

[They love it on Bizarro World!]

I'm with you. I can't vote. There's nothing to like. I can't pick just one thing.

[I'll take that as a "No deal."]

All of the above.

[No deal.]

All of the above

[No deal.]

To be fair, you should add a line for those who support the bill.

[All three of them.]

the poll is set up with the assumption that a single issue is the way we make decisions instead of a gestalt

[We make the decision to say "gestalt" instead of "unified whole," because it makes us sound smarter.]

And you know this how?

[I heard the word "Gestalt" back in Psychology class in college, that's how.]

the sequence of events in Canada which led there to national single payer was that one of the provinces started that, it spread to the others, and finally became national.

[It was kind of like Canadian kudzu.]

All of the above. Not worth the paper the lobbyists supplied to print in on.

[At 1,900 pages, the paper it's printed on might be worth quite a bit, actually. Times 435 representatives . . . that's a small Brazilian rainforest!]

The bill should move forward.

[Off the desk and into the trashcan!]

Stupak is abominable.

[Abortion is stupendous.]

All of the above.

[No deal.]

all of the above, but if I had to narrow, 1, 3, 4 as the worst. but they're all bad, so its kinda hard to differentiate.

[Tied for first.]

These are all awful.

[Tied for worst.]

With a mandate though, it's like having the government send Revenuers around to rub my nose in the horsesh*t that this bill's healthcare would remain- at gunpoint.

[You are not far from the truth, grasshopper. We'll make a conservative out of you yet!]

Mandatory purchase of their crap.

[Another prospect!]

None of those are deal-breakers. The Stupak Amendment comes extremely close though.

[The DUmmies are stuck on Stupak.]

The f*cking mandates.

[benburch has had some of those man-dates. No deal!]

KOmmies Hail KSM Trial...As Weapon Against Bush/Cheney

Well, I'm back from the Caribbean paradise of Culebra. Perhaps the best kept vacation secret out there. Beautiful beaches, incredible coral reefs, crystal clear waters. And best of all, as I discovered, you can live like a king in a luxurious home during your stay there for a mere PITT-ance. In fact, I am already making plans for my return for a much longer stay there in a few months. I will write more about my Caribbean vacation later in a special DUFU edition but for now...on to the Krazy KOmmies...

KOmmieland for some reason has the reputation in the media as somehow being "reasonable progressives" in contrast to their DUmmie cousins who are usually written off as the loons that they are. However, as you will see in this THREAD, "There's a Reason Republicans Are Pissing Their Pants," they are every bit as KRAAAAZY as the DUmmies. The upcoming public trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed and several of his fellow terrorists have little to do with their convictions and EVERYTHING to do using the trials as weapons against Republicans in general and the EVIL Bush/Cheney regime in particular. As you will see the KOmmies (and much of the left) want to use the trials to somehow get revenge upon Bush/Cheney & Co.. So let us now watch the KOmmies make it clear that the real purpose of the terrorist trials for them is to find weapons to use against EVIL Republicans in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that KSM resembles screen star Ron Jeremy quite a bit except he is even uglier, is in the [brackets]

There's a Reason Republicans Are Pissing Their Pants

[Because the Mirandized terrorists could be freed because of the idiotic decision to try them in civilian courts where they could be released on minor technicalities?]

As we know, Republicans are collectively sucking their thumbs in fetal position over the fact that alleged terrorists will be tried in an American court of law on American soil. Their claim is that to follow the American Constitution by putting terrorists who have attacked Americans before American judges and American juries, will somehow endanger the American people.

[Getting released on a mere technicality. What a silly notion. Of course this never happens...NOT!]

That the Republicans are Un-American in their desire to circumvent our own Bill of Rights is self-evident. That they are Un-American in their cowardice when faced with two-bit extremist thugs is obvious. That they lack any sense of decency in their attempts to terrify an unassuming American public is clear, but has been a mainstay of their party going back over half a century. But none of this explains why the Republicans have chosen to simper so pathetically over the prospect of a few terrorists going on trial.

[And now KOmmie thereisnospoon will reveal why much of the left, including their MSM allies, are salivating over the upcoming trials.]

The reason is simple: they're afraid that their own policies of torture and indefinite detention will get the terrorists acquitted. So, like a stupid criminal, they're upping the ante by doubling down on their original criminal idiocy.

[So there it is in a nutshell. The KOmmies are jubilant over the prospects over the acquittal of the terrorists in order that they can get at the people who detained them and kept them from committing more terrorism.]

Defense attorneys for Mr. Mohammed will claim that any statements previously made by the accused while in U.S. custody are inadmissible in a court of law. They will claim that any statements made by associates of Mr. Mohammed under similar duress will be similarly inadmissible.

Americans will be reminded again of what the Bush administration's reckless, immoral and counterproductive pro-torture policies have meant both for those we have detained and for our ability to prosecute them for their alleged crimes.

[I love how this KOmmie makes sure to refer to the terrorists' acts as "alleged crimes" while blasting non-existent pro-torture (really enhanced interrogation) techniques that helped save American lives. Now let us watch the rest of the KOmmies reveal their upside-down priorities in which the terrorists are pretty much given a pass on their "alleged crimes" while the people who deserve our thanx for apprehending and detaining those monsters are subjected to their revenge fantasies...]

The Republican's holy grail of prestige--in their minds--is Islamic terrorism.

[See, Islamic terrorism doesn't really exist. Those beheadings never happened. It is all only a Republican political gimmick.]

there's much truth to the notion that America has committed acts of terrorism, violations of human rights standards (directly and indirectly), and unwelcome intrusions into other nations' sovereignty.

[Notice no specifics in this accusation of terrorism by the USA. And WHO sawed off all those heads and flew airplanes into the Twin Towers? Oops! I forgot. The 9/11 Truthers blame Bush/Cheney for that.]

Republicans love to edit history they love myths like "the US is always right and good" and we had done nothing to have the violence of 9/11 visit upon us...

[This KOmmie should be the lawyer for KSM. That way he could proclaim in court that KSM was FORCED to plot the 9/11 attacks because he was FORCED to by Satan American.]

Many terrorist -- I would say almost all of them -- do have legitimate complaints. We should be asking ourselves about that since that is one area where we can actually mitigate the danger and probably save a lot of money in doing so.

[And this KOmmie would ask for a dismissal of the KSM case right off the bat since he places the blame squarely on the USA.]

The beauty of this is. . . That whatever is allowed in this court having to do with BushCo's illegalities will be fodder for future court action against them - some civil ones, but the ones making me salivate are the criminal ones.

[So the terrorist trials will have nothing to do with convicting them but EVERYTHING to do with finding weapons to use against BushCo. This KOmmie flat out admits that this scenario makes him salivate.]

This is part of the unraveling of all the lies and deceipt of Bush & Co., and they are afraid of what will be exposed. That is their real fear.

[It's all about putting Bush Co. on trial. The KSM trial for the KOmmies is only a means to an end.]

The GOP is all about power and nothing else, there is no other legitimate explanation for their actions all these years ... same mindset as rapists and pedophiles except politics is their weapon instead of sex.

[Don't bother looking for any sense of outrage at KSM and his fellow terrorists. Almost all the hate in this KOmmie thread is directed at EVIL Republicans and conservatives.]

For those who are upset that obama hasn't gone after the Bush admin, this could be a very good stepping stone.

[Thank you for that public admission that the KSM trial is ALL about politics. KOmmies are uninterested in proving the guilt of KSM. All that matters to them is to use the trial as a "stepping stone" to get the Bush admin..]

The question is really what is to be gained by a civilian trial? I think the answer is that Bushco goes on trial as well--for years this will be in the news. All sorts of crap about torture and fraudulent confessions and a war built on lies.

[Another KOmmie reveals what to them is the REAL purpose of the KSM trial. And to them the conviction or acquittal of KSM is beside the point.]

Wouldn't that be something if the terrorism trials were the undoing of Cheney and his minions. The irony is rich.

[For the KOmmies the ONLY purpose of this trial is to exact revenge upon Cheney & Co.]

Rethugs are afraid of the multiple offenses and war crimes committed by Bushco coming to light during the trial.
Should be interesting!

[Notice how the KOmmies express ZERO interest in the multiple offenses of KSM?]

I'm afraid of what will happen when their actions are brought to light, too. But I am more afraid of secret prisons, attacks on due process, and the erosion of faith in our system of governement. I am more afraid of than of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed traipsing down the courthouse stairs a free man.

[This KOmmie really has no fear of a KSM acquittal. I would LOVE to force him to choose with whom he would rather spend a month on a small island with: KSM or a member of the Bush Administration. This dope would probably choose KSM and then discover his knife wasn't just for cleaning fish.]

War crimes trials for the entire GOP. Keep these craven f*ckers on the run.

[Say out loud what your fellow KOmmies are hoping is the outcome of the KSM trial.]

i actually put on O'Reilly and there he was KARL ROVE! not only that but I had forgotten what a dam insult it is how O'Reilly has the running commentary of his absurd commentary down the side of the screen. A double whammy. Dual coding content. You hear, you read it. Engaging 2 senses. Much more effective way of embedding information. PLUS then you appeal to that mammalian brain with all the over emotive BS and the NLP techniques and ZABOOM.... the minute i saw Rove I had to turn it off. Why can't this president use the powers he still has under Bush & Co to call these assholes out for seditious or treasonous behavior, inciting to riot, lying, whatever and just disappear the whole damn buch of them. Murdock as well. Wall Street crooks as well. BigPharma and HEalth Care CEOs lobbyists, ALL elected officials who LIE ON the floor of COngress. Now that should be illegal!!! Lying on the floor of Congress, knowing that parlimentary procedures do not allow you to be called on it?

[A plea for Obama to follow in the footsteps of Hugo Chavez by making political diversity a thought crime.]

Defense will allege that waterboarding is torture.
Judge will rule on that.
That ruling will be appealed to the SCOTUS.
Unless they want to wipe their posteriors with precedent, they will rule that waterboarding is torture.
And then Bush and Cheney and Rumsfield and a hatfull of generals will all not only be liable for prosecution, but we will be obligated by treaty to prosecute them.

[A KOmmie expresses his dream KSM trial outcome.]

We are getting closer to Torture Indictments
It is going to happen. Keep up the rabble rousing.
Start organizing regular Pro-Prosecution street actions in front of your local congressional District offices.
At every public event Ask your politicians Loudly "Why they support Torture". Embarrass them!!
If they haven't recently called for enforcement of our Torture Laws against the Bush-Cheney Conspiracy To Change Federal Torture Laws,
THEY Are Supporting Torture!
And SIGN the PETITION calling for Prosecution

[Meaning the prosecution of BushCo. And the prosecution and conviction of KSM & Co? Eh! Not important.]

Friday, November 13, 2009

Turmoil in DUmmieland! Pitt to the rescue!

There is tension and turmoil in DUmmieland! I know, I know, you're saying, "So what else is new?" But the normal turmoil has spiraled out of control! SOMEBODY SHOOK UP THE ANTS!! They've been at each other's THROATS lately! It's the Obama-PelosiCare bill, of course, that has got them all shook up. The DUmmies have discovered that the devil is in the details, and the details are now becoming known. So the DUmmies have been taking it out on their fellow DEMOCRATS there on DEMOCRATIC Underground, in their usual vitriolic style.

TA DA! Peace Piper Pitt rides to the rescue! "Can't have any of that there Dem-bashing in my neck of the woods!" Yes, ever the loyal party hack, Will the Shill has intervened to try to calm the troubled waters. But will he succeed?

In the days leading up to the House vote, Peace Piper Pitt posted this patronizing preemptive attempt at prog pacification, a
THREAD called "A A A A A A A A R R R R G G G H H ! ! !" Then came the House vote itself, when the bill passed, and the initial euphoria was soon tempered by an outbreak of Angry, as the Reality-based Community® began to realize what PelosiCare actually would involve. So now the Magic Man™ has had to step in AGAIN to try to divert Dem dissent and dissatisfaction, in this "happy thoughts" THREAD, "Just realized I haven't done one of these in a while...."

So let's watch Pitt try to get the DUmmies to all join hands and sing Kumbaya and pass the peace pipe, in Fire-breathing Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, slaving away while PJ-Comix is sipping Flor de Caña mai tais on the white sands of Culebra, is in the [brackets]:

A A A A A A A A R R R R G G G H H ! ! !

[It's the Pitt's Brogue Pirate!]

There's so much tension here!

[The natives are restless! Peace Piper Pitt to the rescue!]

People are mean! Or judgmental! Or contrarian! Or anti-Democrat! Or anti-Obama! Or anti-anti-Democrat! Or anti-anti-Obama!


...and just kinda generally pissed off.

[Situation Normal: All DUmmied Up.]

But tension is what the Founders intended. If they wanted this sh*t to work seamlessly, we'd have no separation of powers/three branches of government/free speech/voting rights/printing presses/TVs/internet...and it'd be a whole lot easier that way.

[Don't give Obama ideas.]

Thank God/Yahweh/Allah/Buddha/Vishnu/The FSM/etc. it isn't like that.

[You left out Gaia.]

Me raging against you, you raging against them, them raging against us, us raging against those guys. . . .

[Raging Rivers Pitt!]

and all of us motherf*cking each other with bull-throated ferocity...

[Wee Willie's own mother, DUmmie Raven, must be proud of her boy.]

maybe it wasn't what DU was originally intended to be, but it surely is what it is today.


Welcome to democracy.

[Welcome to DUmmieland. Now the other DUmmies chime in . . .]

Actually, your mom kind of rocks.

[This DUmmie has a "thang" for Mother Pitt. Lovely.]

I'm sorry, there are only three R's in "A A A A A A A A R R R G G G H H ! ! !"

[Is that you, Howard Dean?]

When my "free speech" gets unrecced by 30 paid bloggers whose job it is to unrec and derail every healthcare thread, that's not exactly free speech is it? Do you realize you're taking the same stance as those who say corporate funded elections = "free speech"?

[Will the Shill will shill for food drink. He responds . . .]

Plenty of Dems have some Republican ideas.

[I knew it! Pitt is a Crypto-Rethuglican! Back to Pitt's challenger . . .]

I'm familiar with your work--not calling you a troll. A DLC troll enabler sure, but not a troll.


What happens when this site turns into Joe Lieberman Underground. . . ?

[AKA "Joe Below." Back to Pitt . . .]

Do you feel any embarrassment whatsoever when you barf up phrases like "DLC troll enabler"? If you don't, you should. And you should also go outside for a few minutes. Just to try it out. Vitamin D is good for you.

[Way to defuse the tension there, Peace Piper Pitt! Well, now let's see how you do in your thread AFTER the House vote, the details of which only INCREASED the tension and the turmoil . . .]

Just realized I haven't done one of these in a while...

[One of these FAILED attempts at mollification.]

and no, I'm not announcing that I'm leaving DU. . . .


I came to DU in May of 2001, which means I will be celebrating my 9-year anniversary as a member of this forum in six months.

[Peace Piper Pitt pisses on his post, to mark his territory as Senior Superior Sage.]

Insane, right?

[You said it!]

Like every long-time poster here, I've seen it all. I've been part of the problem sometimes. . . .


This place motivated me to begin the first real, serious political action of my life.

[Which didn't last very long, since you soon became a laughingstock.]

I researched three books and countless articles here.

[This is part of a long "I, I, I" section. I'll spare you.]

DU changed my life . . . I'm sure pretty much of you, long-timers and newbies and everyone in between, could share a similar story about this place.

[Thus Pitt begins his diversionary tactic to try to quiet the crowd.]

And that is entirely entirely entirely due to the tireless efforts of Skinner, EarlG, Elad, and all the Moderators past and present.

[This is called "sucking up."]

the Admins and Moderators have worked so hard to make this place what it is.

[A madhouse!]

I am sure they feel like schoolmarms locked into a giant classroom with 50,000 demented children sometimes. . . .

[Especially when they put on their schoolmarm outfits.]

Yeah, this joint is batsh*t crazy, but it's our batsh*t crazy. . . .

[And don't think we here at DUmmie FUnnies aren't grateful!]

Given the mood and mayhem of this place lately . . .

[. . . I thought it was time to try to get your minds off those pesky details of the Pelosi plan.]

Thank you, folks. From my heart.

[No, no, thank YOU, Will! You are our hero!! Now a grateful DUmmieland responds . . .]

Hey! Weren't you part of the Kucinich campaign?

[Uh, next question. . . .]

Been thinkin' bout ya, Will, and the whirling emotions that might be churning at this time.

[After a bender at Bukowski's, Will has LOTS of things churning.]

Hey weren't you the guy who spent $650 on a dinner date?

[That was with Kevin Spacey, wasn't it?]

remember the Canadian girl who always said vis a vis.. like 30 threads a night ...wonder what ever happened to her. . . .

[She lost her visa.]

Thanks to you Pitt for coming back after quitting and being tombstoned so very many times.

[Pitt is the Freddy Krueger of DUmmieland.]

DU has made a difference, and we are all a part.

[Apart at the seams.]

IIRC, you were the reason they invented the Tombstone? You helped bury a lot of freepers in those days, eh?

[William Rivers Pith-Helmet, Hunter of Trolls.]

I have my share of scalps.

Were all the 60's hippies and radicals so thouroughly compromised that they were completely assimilated into the borg?

[It's the Pitt's Borg Stealer!]

DU was a revelation, and has become the place that I go to. . . .

[Revelation 19:20, "the lake of fire burning with brimstone."]

has anyone told you how much you look like abraham Lincoln?

[With his bald pate, expanding girth, and gravelly voice, Pitt is looking more and more like my old Jewish neighbor Abe.]

I'm glad you have stuck around all these years.

[Pitt is stuck on stupid. Besides, he doesn't have anywhere else to go.]

They will probably have to take my mouse out of my cold dead hands. . . .

[Is that you, benburch?]

Thanks Will. You are a star.

[THAT is what Will has been waiting for! But really--Will, a star? Are you Sirius?]

It's a pleasant surprise to see a navel-gazing DU meta-discussion thread that isn't complaining about this place.

[The night is young. Hey, gang, this is Head DUmmie Skinner checking in!]

I suppose being the one in charge here makes me predisposed to believe that DU is doing just fine, but let me just say: DU is doing just fine.

[Head DUmmie Skinner does his Baghdad Bob impression.]

The mild feeling of discomfort and confusion that many people have been feeling lately is fairly easily explained. . . .

[Little things, really. Like Obama and Pelosi selling out to the insurance companies. Like, "You mean, my boss might drop my health insurance plan and make me buy government insurance??" Like, "You mean, fines and jail terms if you don't buy the government insurance??" Like, "You mean, Somebody Else ain't gonna pay for my health care??" You know, those niggly little details. Other than that, everything's hunky-dory.]

We run the country now.

[Kyrie eleison! Well, enough from Head DUmmie Skinner; back to the peon DUmmies . . .]

The fact that William Pitt, one of our movement's most passionate and felicitous writers, is a (mostly) regular here is a testament to the caliber of activist journalism DU attracts.

[Journalist Pitt . . . Wasn't he the one who broke the Rove indictment story? Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now. . . .]

I came to DU in December of 2003. It was an interesting day: Patrick Fitzgerald was assigned the Plame investigation, and you (Will Pitt) wrote what I still consider one of the absolute best essays on the case.

[That must have been the FIRST time Rove was indicted.]

My intitial goal was to stay until 7-14-04. "Old-timers" here will remember why that date stuck out.

[The second Rove indictment?]

Will, I was with you at Camp Casey.

[Fire ants in the ditch! Get the Off!]

I love it. The thread titles are always like: "DU has changed so much!" (I've been here for over 7 years, and there is one of those threads a month.) So, no, nothing's changed.

[Change McSame.]

In the years since I came here in 2003, I've stirred the pot many times. . . .

[And smoked it many more.]

Will, you are far too modest.

[Will has plenty to be modest about!]

My favorite Will Pitt story: I went to Camp Casey in Crawford. First day I was there, I walked around taking pictures of the bumper stickers on cars. The best one was the car where someone had typed out a Will Pitt quote and taped it to the inside of the rear window of their car.

[That must have been Will's rental car.]

Thank you for making this my favourite political site!

[Where I can use Euro-wannabe spelling and everything!]

I am a liberal-site-whore. . . .

[Leftward ho!]

Yay Will! You still have that d*mn earring stuck in your ear?

[And with that comment about the shiny object in Will's ear, we now see that Pitt's effort at temporarily diverting the DUmmies from the devilish details of ObamaCare was, in this thread at least, SUCCESSFUL! But stay tuned, I'm sure the fur will be flying soon enough, next time on DUmmie FUnnies!]

Monday, November 09, 2009

Another Hate Lieberman DUmmie Thread

The DUmmies are going rabid again over Joe Lieberman over the fact that he will act to block the ObamaCare bill coming to the Senate. Rabid DUmmies are also FUnnie DUmmies as you can see in this THREAD, "It's Official: Lieberman going to Block Senate HCR Bill." Since I am currently busy preparing for my big Caribbean adventure this weekend on Culebra, I'll keep this intro short but sweet. This also means I probably won't be able to post another DUFU edition until I get back. Perhaps I will even regale you with how we were able to travel to Culebra and back for under a hundred bucks. Good info to know in this time of the Great Recession. So let us now watch the DUmmies scream once again at Lieberman in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is already dreaming of diving for lobster this weekend, is in the [brackets]:

It's Official: Lieberman going to Block Senate HCR Bill. Now on MSNBC

[Let the Hate Week celebrations begin!]

Andrea Mitchell is covering that Lieberman will officially block the bill.

It's a big ol' "F*ck You" to the poor and the sick.

And to all the DUers that would chime in and say "Good!", well f*ck you too.

[A big ol' FU to DU.]

it's time to break this little f*cker, and all the Republicans. That actually may be the best thing to come of this "reform" -- yet the Dems would have to either go "nuclear' and end the filibuster, or salvage what parts they can through reconciliation.

[Even reconciliation has no hope of salvaging your sanity.]

Strip him! Strip the bastard of everything he's got.

[Is that you, Ben Burch?]

If it doesn't pass this year it won't next year.


Then we need to "block" HIS health care, paid for by we, the taxpayers, many of whom, like yours truly, are uninsured though we pay taxes to cover the cadillac health care of congress critters like Lieberasshole. Why the hell should he get cadillac health care paid for by the very people he's trying to deny care to????????????

[I don't really care what you think. My mind is on Culebra. So long for now, Dummies. I'll be diving for lobster and getting blasted on cerveza y ron this weekend.]

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

DUmmies going rabid over the Blue Dogs!

The DUmmies are going rabid, foaming at the mouth, over the Blue Dog Democrats spoiling their precious "public option"! And they lump Pelosi and even Obama in with the Blue Dogs! The DUmmies are all upset because the Pelosi Obamacare bill is not QUITE as full-blown socialist as they would like--even though it would go WAY far to the left.

And the dreaded Blue Dogs? Many of them have turned out to be nothing more than Nancy's neutered puppies. They have rolled over and played dead. Take, for example, erstwhile "Blue Dog" Rep. Earl Pomeroy (D-ND). He has finally come out in favor of the Pelosi bill. Some fierce Blue Dog he is! Rob Port of has documented good ol' Earl's cave-in and has experienced Pomeroy's displeasure, as was chronicled by P.J. Gladnick (who?) over at NewsBusters. So in honor of Earl Pomeroy and the domesticated Blue Dogs, and to start today's festivities, let's all sing this musical tribute:

Tune: "Duke of Earl"

Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl

Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl . . .

Of all the useless terms
Nothing can top the "Blue Dog" Earl
'Cause there, there is this girl
And Earl is her lap dog, oh, oh

Yes, Earl, Earl is Nancy's puppy, oh, oh
Pelosi's Pomeranian
Yes, he's her Lap Dog Earl
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And, and Nancy told him:
"You'll be my lap dog, my Lap Dog Earl
You'll come when I call you
And a Porkulus we will share"

Yes, Earl, Earl is Nancy's puppy, oh, oh
Pelosi's Pomeranian
Yes, he's her Lap Dog Earl
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl

Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl . . .

Yes, Earl, Earl is Nancy's puppy, oh, oh
Pelosi's Pomeranian
Yes, he's her Lap Dog Earl
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl
Blue, Blue, Blue Dog Earl . . .

Well, even though Nancy's puppies are behaving, the DUmmies are going RABID over the Blue Dogs--AND Pelosi, AND Obama!--as seen in this
THREAD, "The only possible way to get the Blue Dogs to do the right thing would be for Obama to take charge."

So make sure your rabies and distemper shots are up to date, and let us now watch the DUmmies go after the Blue Dogs, in Rabid Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel, is in the [brackets]:

The only possible way to get the Blue Dogs to do the right thing would be for Obama to take charge . . .

[Obama take charge? That dog won't hunt!]

. . . for Obama to take charge and use his bully pulpit. . . .

[You mean Hal the Teleprompter?]

to make sure Reid and Pelosi get an open-enrollment PO through Congress.

["PO" = "public option," for those of you not familiar with DUmmiespeak.]

The evidence reveals Obama simply does not want to do that. . . . For all practical purposes, he's of the same mind as the Blue Dogs and the "New" Democrats on this issue.

[BO the Blue Dog.]

I'm beginning to believe that O is a blue corporate dog... :(

["Corporate" = "EEEEEEEEEVILLL!!!!"]

O's high-flying hopeful rhetoric and his actions are at odds with each other.

[Balloon Boy Barack has been hiding in the attic.]

Anyone that looks at Obama's record . . . could not in their right mind, accuse him of being a corporate blue dog. Thats just another excuse to be lazy when it comes to facing the political realities of the day.

[The "not blue dog" jumped all over the lazy DUmmie.]

The political realities of the day do not excuse him from campaigning as a Populist and governing as...CORPORATIST. WARNING if you lay down with Blue Cross Dogs you get up with Parasitic Capitalist fleas

[Stay outta the free-market flea market!]

People who accuse Obama of governing as a corporatist don't know what the word means.

[Yeah, but it SOUNDS so EEEEEEEEEVILLL!!!! "CORPORATIST!" Say it with a sneer and a snarl in your voice!]

Its obvious that you live in a fantasy world if you think any Dem. Pres. can MAKE the blue dogs do anything they don't want to do. Its unrealistic, period. . . . A lot of critical blathering while ignoring the really, real world.

[And DUmmieland is, above all, the Really Real Reality-Based Community®.]

The Blue Dogs just want to hang on to their seat. . . . I don't care how precarious their damn seats are. . . . Enough of the patty-cakes and kumbayas. . . .


The head of the Democratic Party can let the Blue Cross dogs know they will got no funds from the DSCC or the DCCC or the national party and no support in fund raising or campaigning if they don't support the party's platform. Oh I forgot that is what a LEADER would do. Never mind.

[C'mon, Barack! Be the pack leader! Get Cesar Millan on the phone!]

President Obama has become, IMO, a pensive corporatist and is merely going through the motions to make us peasants BELIEVE that the ruling elites truly give a damn about the average wage-slave American. Hint: They could care less. In fact, they joke about our gullibility during their high powered socials within the beltway. The ruling elite despise us but realize that they must present the well orchestrated Kabuki dance "dramas" with the M$M to keep us duped.

[DUmmie ShortnFiery, you win the Looney Left Cliché Post of the Day Award! Congratulations! "Their high-powered socials"! Great stuff!]

It appears OBAMA IS A blueDOG. . . .

[Bark Obowwow.]

We will have a public option

[I DO believe, I DO believe, I do I do I DO!]

a compromised po at best!!

[The DUmmies are PO'ed about the PO!!]

The pretense that single payer was currently viable is pure imagination and wishing.

[DUmmie TheKentuckian, for this brief moment of mental clarity, you win today's Kewpie Doll! Don't let it become a Blue Dog chew toy!]