Pitt Pulls Quick 180 On SOTU

If you want WILLIAM RIVERS Pitt to change his mind, then just wait a minute. This happened stunningly fast last night when Pitt went from happily hyping a SOTU that he hadn't even seen yet to angrily slamming it less than 4 hours later. Here is Pitt in SOTU happy hype mode, I am a total sucker for the annual State of the Union speech at 7:59 P.M. to angrily denouncing it at 10:38 P.M. with his vulgar F*CK. This quick turnaround by Pitt is not too surprising since he has a long history of self-recantation to the extent that our Charles Henrickson even wrote a parody song about it so before going further, we serenade Pitt with his theme song:

SELF-RECANTED EVENING
Tune: "Some Enchanted Evening"

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!]

So let us watch WILLIAM RIVERS PITT happily hype a State Of The Union speech he hasn't even seen yet only to angrily denounce it a couple of hours later in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who fell asleep on his couch only a couple of sentences into the SOTU, is in the [barackets]:

I am a total sucker for the annual State of the Union speech.

[You sure are, Pitt, as we shall see in only a couple of hours.]

Total sucker.

[You bet. You hype a speech you have yet to even see only to have to eat crow a couple of hours later when you angrily DENOUNCE it.]

I know I know I know I know, it's a show, it's TV, it is pretty words once again, and words are wind...I know, OK, so shaddap and let me enjoy the spectacle.

[No, no, Pitt. Continue drooling like an idiot over the Obama speech you have yet to see only to be forced into a humiliating act of self-recantation only a couple of hours later. The unintended humor of that situation is priceless.]

 Especially when the guy on the stump knows how to get it done. Watching the W. Bush SOTU speeches was like getting beaten with sticks. Watching Clinton was like watching art in creation, most of the time anyway. Watching Bush Sr. was like watching pudding watch pudding. Watching Reagan was agony, but always a good show, even towards the end, because that's what he did.

[The 10:38 PM Pitt is cringing at these words of the 7:59 PM Sucker Pitt.]

President Obama knows how to get it done...and since it sounds like he's going to be flipping a few rhetorical daggers at the *ahem* legacy of Ronald Reagan tonight, the looks on the faces of the meth-addled House GOP howler monkeys will be worth the price of admission right there.

[Pitt is going to want to hit the meth hard when he finds out the SOTU surprise inn store for him.]

...and maybe, just maybe, if he parks it deep enough tonight, and I mean over the wall and the water tank and far into the wheat field...maybe he can penetrate the "both sides are to blame" gibberish peddled by the "news media" and shake this shit up.

[Oh, he parks it alright, Pitt. Right up your butt.]

Yeah, I know, that's asking a lot. But I can dream.

[Only an hour away from turning into a nightmare for Pitt.]

It's a show. Enjoy it. The GOP will be collectively looking like they're sucking on lemons if St. Ronald takes a beating tonight.

[They won't be sucking on lemons but you will definitely be eating crow. And now we quickly review the DUmmie responses on this thread but the important point is that Pitt has established how great he "knows" the SOTU speech will be before even seeing it...]

Great idea for a drinking game, thanks! Every time Obama tells us that Liberals must share in the blame, we drink.

[You think Pitt needs that lame excuse to drink?]

I can't imagine not watching. Even though I might disagree with what he is saying, the delicious knowledge that his mere presence is infuriating to many in that chamber makes this must-see TV. Martini time

[It will be infuriating...but to Pitt. Bukowski's time.]

I'm hoping that President Obama delivers a message of Truth.

["If you like your health insurance plan, you can keep it. PERIOD." Okay, time now to join the 10:38 PM Pitt with a completely different bummed out attitude...]

F*ck.

[That was quick. Proceed with your self-recantation...]

He stood that soldier up at the end, the man with the blasted head and the scarred life, with the visible dent in his skull, who will never ever be even remotely close to the same again because of the ten deployments we sent him off to so someone he'll never meet can make a lot of money, and gave that man his reward: a standing ovation from the worst roomful of people on the skin of the Earth... 

  ...followed by this burbled bit of spitup pabulum: "Sometimes we make mistakes." WOW DUDE. DEEP.

[Did he "park" it deep enough for you?]

Yeah. That happened. On national television. 

  That guy deserves better than a star turn in the parliament of whores, he deserves better than "Oops" from his Commander in Chief, and speaking of the boss, that guy deserves better than to be a prop in a passion play about how everything is awesome, and the last 13 years never happened.

[When do YOU say "Oops" Pitt for prematurely praising a speech you hadn't even heard?]

I am sure the to-the-knife Obama defenders out there will seethe and howl upon reading this. Whatever, man. That was one of the more despicable displays I have ever had the misfortune to witness. He had the opportunity to do more than use a blasted, shattered soldier as a prop in a ZOMG HOW AWESOME IS AMERICA I MEAN TOTALLY montage, to maybe bring home some truths about actions and consequences...and he went for the easy applause line and the "Awwwww" moment. 

  You say "Awwwww" at puppies and babies. You don't say "Awwww" at soldiers victimized by ruined policy deployed by a ruined country...and if you have half a conscience, you make note of that on the largest stage with the biggest microphone in the world. Another missed opportunity in what has become a truly impressive string of missed opportunities. Yeah, the SOTU is a show. That does not mean it has to be utterly meaningless, and it certainly does not mean that it has to be grossly exploitative.

[From knocking out of the ball park to being utterly meaningless. Gee, Pitt, maybe you shoupld wait to hear a speech before hyping it in advance and then turning yourself into a FOOL yet again.]

Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow upon review. I doubt it. I am sick to my stomach.

[You feel even sicker to your stomach when the booze wears off and you realize just how much of a mockery you made of yourself. And now on to the other DUmmies, some of whom correctly SLAM Pitt's idiocy...  ]



Wow, one of the most irrational take aways from any speech ever.

[Most irrational take away in the past 24 business hours.]

Dennis Rodman is seeking help for his drinking problem, I heard somewhere.

[Did you hear somewhere if Pitt is seeking similar help?]

FU right back, you fact-deprived fool.

[That was Pitt replying to DUmmie mrchips whose message was "hidden by jury decision." It sounds like Pitt by that point had been hitting the bottle hard. He will hit it even harder after he wakes up to realize what a complete fool he made of himself.]