Monday, January 06, 2014

Claimant Change: "DUmmie, It's Cold Outside"


Just as it's embarrassing now for the DUmmies to use the term "Obamacare," and so now they just call it the "ACA," so also has it become embarrassing to say "global warming." Since the globe isn't all that warm these days, now the preferred term is "climate change." That can cover just about anything. And that way the facts can't get in the way of their global whining. Witness this THREAD by DUmmie kentuck, "If you believe in global climate change, do you believe the earth is getting warmer or colder?"

But before we get to that thread, let's try to sing some sense into your typical deep-freeze-denying DUmmie. Click the music link and sing along!

DUMMIE, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE
Tune: "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

It's warmer each day
(But, DUmmie, it's cold outside)
It must go away
(But, DUmmie, it's cold outside)
This warming has been
(But lately a huge drop in)
Our greatest vice
(Just feel your hands, they're just like ice)

Oh, what will it take to turn us
(Wait while I check the furnace)
And wake us to the truth we ignore
(Listen to the fireplace roar)
The sunbeams will start to burn us
(See how I crank the furnace)
Well, that is what I heard from Al Gore
(Put some blankets down at the door)

The experts all think--
(I'm seeing a St. Bernard)
Say, what's that ice rink?
(No rink, that's just your back yard)
I wish I knew how
(There's ice on the furnace now)
To break the spell
(Just take a chance, I wouldn't tell)

I ought to say it's no colder
(Don't wanna get a cold shoulder)
At least I'm gonna say "climate change"
(Then you make the facts rearrange)

I really can't say
(DUmmie, don't hold out)
Uh, that it's cold outside
(DUmmie, it's cold outside) . . .

I simply must know
(Yo, DUmmie, it's cold outside)
How we got so much snow
('Cause, DUmmie, it's cold outside)
It's hard to combine
(Eight inches--no, make it nine)
Snow, ice, and warm
(Look out the window at that storm)

"You're sinister and seditious!"
(Gosh, you libs are suspicious)
Would DU even show me the door?
(Make waves and make the tolerant sore)
My lib'ral friends can be vicious
(Ooh, you libs are malicious)
And what would I say to Al Gore?
(Never such a blowhard or bore)

I'm covered with snow
(See, DUmmie, I told you so)
It's 20 below
(With ten more degrees to go)
It's really been cold
(Wind chill, something to behold)
But I cannot--
(How can you claim it's getting hot?)

They're gonna call me a traitor
(But lib'rals can't be haters)
At least they will call me a troll
(If you're caught, then just be a mole)

I really can't say
(Get over that holdout) . . .

Uh, but it's cold outside!
(DUmmie, it's cold outside!)

And now on to DUmmies in denial, in Bolsheshivering Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, looking at about a foot of global warming out my below-zero window, is in the [brackets]:

If you believe in global climate change. . . .

[Global "climate change"?? What happened to global "warming," DUmmie kentuck?]

do you believe the earth is getting warmer or colder?

[Oh, both of course! That way we've got all our bases covered! Hot, cold--who cares? It's change, isn't it?]

[The DUmmies reply . . .]

Is this trying to place Climate change in woo category?

["Woo" is the favored term DU jour for hokum, baloney, BS.]

I hope not...

[Watch it, DUmmie kentuck! DUmmie PowerToThePeople will report you to the powers that be if you dare to question climate change! This is your global warning!]

My answer - Warmer.

[Because I say so!]

It isn't a matter of belief.

[But, but, I BELIEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!]

The evidence says climate change is happening. . . .

[It's changed, apparently, from global warming to global cooling.]

weather is not climate.

[Has nothing to do with it!]

Climate change means more energy is kept in the atmosphere.

[Climate change means more energy is expended in DUmmieland trying to defend it.]

Many different kinds of weather events occur across the earth. Cold and hot, wet and dry, stormy and calm.

[See? Climate change! And it's our fault! Let's all feel guilty! BAD humans! BAD!!]

The way human induced warming and climate change works is that these occurrences get more extreme and more frequent.

[And what makes it especially tricky is that there's no way to prove it's human-induced! Or that it can be human-reversed! It's insidious, this climate-change stuff!]

There is also the way that polar warming can affect ocean currents . . .

[As shown on a recent documentary on Current TV. No, wait, Al Gore sold that to Al Jazeera, didn't he? Dang!]

and the jet stream . . .

[In which Algore flies his big, fuel-burning jet all across the globe.]

along with the way air moves from land to sea and vice versa.

[Before, it didn't used to do that.]

These occurrences are causing the major problems experienced nowadays across the world.

[Including that big ACA rollout snafu.]

each problem is different . . .

[But it all adds up to one thing: Climate change.]

We see wider and stronger hurricanes. . . .

[Recent news report: "The 2013 Atlantic hurricane season was the first Atlantic hurricane season since 1994 to end with no major hurricanes, and the first since 1968 to feature no storms of at least category 2 intensity."]

i would think regionally cold winters would be a result of arctic melting. hotter summer means more melting means more cold water entering the oceans means cold winter...?...not a scientist.

[I gathered that.]

Ok, let me try to untangle this for you. . . .

[Oh, alright now! DUmmie nadinbrzezinski--aka Know-it-all Nadin, the World's Foremost Authority--steps in to untangle all this for us. Go ahead, Nadin, please enlighten us.]

That is part of what was predicted.

[Nadin TOLD us this would happen. But did we listen to her? No! As usual. And now we're paying the price.]

Weather and climate are two different critters.

[There's a crittercal difference!]

Gravity has nothing to do with this. . . .

[Rule that right out.]

While we are getting pulled in, the planet has a speed and centrifugal force is in perfect balance, keeping the planet at a stable orbit.

[I did not know that, Nadin. I thought we were getting sucked into the sun, and that's why it's getting warmer. Climate-wise, I mean. Not talking about the weather.]

Yes the orbit is not completely circular. . . .

[You're kidding! Somebody call Ripley!]

so during the winter it is closer to the sun. . . .

[That's why it's so warm right now.]

In the scales of humans we will not even notice, without advanced equipment.

[We need the good rig.]

There are literally oodles of research on this.

[Literal oodles. Check the google on this, like Nadin does.]

[Thank you, Nadin, you have cleared it all up. We are not worthy.]

The distance between the earth and the sun is not changing . . .

[Whew! I'm so glad! Thanks, DUmmie Salviati, for confirming what Nadin just told us--although, of course, if Nadin says it, it's got to be true!]

with the caveat that if the big rip theory is true, then eventually in the far far flung future, the solar system, the earth, and our very atoms will be ripped apart, but if this were to be the case, we would start to see it's effects locally only a short time before our doom.

[Ruh roh. Now I'm worried.]

Isn't that caveat, IIRC, ten BILLION into the future? I am going from memory here.

[Nadin doesn't need the google on THAT one! Ten billion it is! Start stocking up your fallout shelter!]

Twenty actually. . . .

[Oh, thanks for that, DUmmie Salviati, I can relax a bit. But not too much.]

No worries, the sun will be an ex star by then anyhow.

[Nadin assures Salviati that she needed no correction. The ex-star business makes it a moot point.]

Holy sh*t Nadin. That was pretty much exactly right. Close enough anyway. I can't tell you how tickled I am to be able to say that about one of your posts. Nice job.

[Hee, hee! I detect a note of sarcasm there, DUmmie tkmorris! Say, you aren't one of them bullies, are you? If so, TO THE IGGY LIST WITH YOU!]

Your concepts of astronomy are a bit off. For one, the earth is always falling toward the sun.

[Make up your mind! I've got to know if it's worth planning my vacation!]

the hydrologic cycle is a major mechanism for restributing heat in the atmosphere.

[The lackologic cycle is a major mechanism for redistributing hot air in DUmmieland.]

Like magnetism and gravity, it is not something you get to believe in or not. . . . It bugs the sh*t outta me that "do you believe in evolution", or "do you believe in global warming" are perfectly legitimate questions to ask. . . .

[I believe in the evolution of "global warming" to "climate change."]

No need to discuss it any further. It is written is stone.

[DUmmie kentuck knows when he's been silenced. And if he keeps on, it will be written in tombstone.]

- - - - - - - - - -

UPDATE:

There's been more activity on this thread since we last spoke, enough to warrant a "Part Two" mini-DUFU.

The first comment comes from Nadin:

it is getting warmer. . . . increasing energy . . . a heating atmosphere. That would be climactic change.

["Climactic" change. Nadin has noticed increasing energy, she's heating up, and she's about to reach a climax.]

Scientific consensus by the vast majority of scinentiests indicates global warming caused by human.

[Alright, which one of you did it? We're not leaving this room until somebody fesses up. The scinentiests want to know.]

Before the rise of the AGW paradigm the 80s/90s, variations in solar activity were generally considered as the most influential factor on climate change. IMO, AGW is exaggerated or insignificant at the best. The certainty is fake and bullied. It's not a conspiracy. It's simply profiteering and ironically, no significant reductions in CO2 emissions are achieved by any proposed or implemented policy.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

soon enough, we'll be gone.

[Promise?]

another race of (presumably) intelligent beings will take our place.

[Intelligent beings to replace the DUmmies. I like it!]

who gives a sh*t, we are not doing jack about it anyhow.

[But, but, I thought Obamassiah was going to heal the oceans!

Well, he's got three more years to go, and I'm sure it's on his "To Do" list.]

The climate on earth has always been changing and always will change.
 

[NO! NO! THIS CANNOT BE! THE CLIMATE MUST ALWAYS STAY EXACTLY THE SAME! I CAN'T HEEEEAAAAR YOUUUU!!!!!!! LALALALALA. . . . .]

Definitely a believer in climate change. Whether colder or warmer, I'm still not real sure of. But yeah...there's something weird going on.

[DUmmie pipi_k, you've convinced me. The evidence you present is overwhelming. I bow to your brilliance.]

26 Comments:

Anonymous skully said...

I wonder if those Global Warming nuts whose ship is trapped in ice(that their theory says shouldn't exist) near Antarctica in the middle of summer, still drink the AGW Kool-Aid??

I'm sure they'll wrangle a theory of how Global war...I mean climate change, caused this ice pack.

If only they could raise billions in taxes to get the Sun to comply with their failed computer models; this would be settled science.

I'm sure this is somehow the Tea Party or George Bush's fault.

7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lost Dutchman says...

Beware anyone that claims that the science is settled. Science questions are never settled. Old assumptions must always be reexamined when new evidence is found. Like when Know-it-all Nadin states as a point of fact.

"Gravity has nothing to do with this. . . ."

How did she prove this?

She is making the biggest and most common mistake people make in science. She is confusing 'I can't think of a way for this to happen.' with 'There is no way for this to happen.'

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have to love these people, bless their hearts (or their little empty skulls). "Literally oodles," "pretty much exactly," etc. Those phrases alone tell us the intellectual firepower they can bring to bear--oops, is "intellectual firepower" some kind of violent hate speech? Probably is. Damn.
Tennessee Budd

10:24 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Once again, your all's willful, prideful dumbassery is on breathtaking display.

Let me ask you something...do you actually believe that global warming means that it never gets cold anywhere anymore?

Yes you do! You believe that going out your front door on a cool, frosty morning means there is no.such.thing...BECAUSE IT'S NOT HAPPENING IN YOUR FRONT YARD.

Astonishing. Truly.

We're talking global here...or are we talking North America...or what's the fucking difference?

Amazingly, there is none according to you stupid douche bags.

You might want to pay attention to what's going on in the southern hemisphere...it's summer there (summer means 'hot') as opposed to being winter here (winter means 'cold')...that means the heat is...fuck it.

Why do I keep torturing myself? Why?

2:24 AM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

Hey fuckface, we've been paying attention to the southern hemisphere where it's summer and Russian, Chinese and Australian icebreakers are trapped in polar summer ice which the alarmists assure us isn't there.

You're torturing yourself because you believe and defend a fiction.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"In December 2008 Al Gore predicted the ‘entire North Polar ice cap will be gone in five years’. That would be December last year. Oh, sure, it’s still here, but he got the general trend-line correct, didn’t he? Arctic sea ice, December 2008: 12.5 million square kilometres; Arctic sea ice, December 2013: 12.5 million square kilometres."

-Mark Steyn, from Global Warming's Glorious Ship of Fools 1/9/14


9:27 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Hey fuckface, we've been paying attention to the southern hemisphere where it's summer and Russian, Chinese and Australian icebreakers are trapped in polar summer ice which the alarmists assure us isn't there." kat

Really? Which liberal alarmists are saying the polar ice caps don't exist anymore? Name one. I'll save you the trouble, no one is saying the polar ice caps don't exist anymore. You're making that up. But you believe it anyway.

You prove my point...Look! Ice! But if there's global warming then why is all this fucking ice here at the polar ice caps trapping ships in it's steely grip?

I, troglaman, know this may come as quite a shock, but both polar ice caps remain frozen pretty much all the time. For now.

If you've been paying attention to our friends down under in Fosters Land, then you're surely aware of the rather nasty heat wave happening there. Record breaking. But you knew that.

How about this...Do any of you actually believe the temperature of the earth ISN'T rising?

Sadly, it seems we must start there.

1:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

shorter Troglaman:

"I'll (explicative) move those (explicative) goalposts anywhere I (explicative) please you (explicative) climate heretics!"

Clone of Troglaman, did I get that about right?

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Watching Troglaman, The Sick Perverted Clone of William Rivers Pitt, chug liters of straight EVERCLEAR while power-slamming his head repeatedly up his ass and howling like a mad dog....

Well, I see nothing noteworthy or intelligent from the Moonbat community....no shock there. Oh well, on to something meaningful and important.

Watching Troglaman The Guttersnipe foam at the mouth and scream like a raped ape while power-slamming his head up his ass at Mach 5 and ricocheting off the walls....

Absolutely pathetic....I'll let the rest of you deal with Guttersnipe on this one, he's gone off the rails and I just don't have the gumption to try to deal with someone who's so stupid a doornail looks brilliant in comparison.

7:18 PM  
Anonymous The JUDGE said...

Even Al Gore can't agree with your BS Troglatwit, you worthless son of a worthless fucking bastard.

http://www.thelookingspoon.com/images/blog/2014/al_gore_selfie.jpg

11:42 PM  
Anonymous Clone of Troglaman said...

I are Troglaman. Me am brilliant.

You am fool for not believing global warming like I. Because you am fool, me am brilliant. Me know only way to fix is shut down everything with fossil fuel forever and follow Al Gore and praise him name.

Me know polar ice caps will melt because Al Gore say so. Me will laugh while you drown because my god Obama will protect me.

Me know entire planet soon be like Amazon because Al Gore say so. And him one of few more brilliant than me am.

I are Troglaman. Me am brilliant.

I are Troglaman. Me am brilliant.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Me know entire planet soon be like Amazon because Al Gore say so. And him one of few more brilliant than me am." clone

Yeah. Al Gore = Climate change. So when anyone brings up climate change, it becomes Al Gore. There's no difference between the two.

Perfect. It really is. Typical. Climate change is Al Gore. Argument over. BTW, Al Gore is a piece of shit.

I do love watching you fuckers think.

When they finally come up with a diagnostic category, I'd like it to be called something like 'troglamania' or 'hypertroggerolia' or something like that. Why? Because I discovered the affliction and it should be named after me, troglaman. That's why.

Sort of like what they do with dinosaur bones and new celestial bodies.

Seahawks and the Niners. Should be pretty a good game...especially for a couple of homo teams, don't you think?

1:52 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Anonymous said...

You REALLY need to stop coming on here drunk Trogtroll...after all your 24/7 benders your liver should be nearly calcified by now.

Fucking idiot.

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

" 'troglamania' or 'hypertroggerolia'"

troglaman=disease

I think you're finally on to something.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

I am, troglanon. I'm onto something. If you want to call the disease 'troglaman', I'm perfectly fine with that. Really. I would die happy. Why?

"Dude, you are freaking me out. You're acting like you got the troglaman."

That's why.

2:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's the spirit! Say it loud, you're a self-identified disease and you're proud!

3:59 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

I, troglaman, am your disease.

Make no doubt about that.

Seen all those screaming goat videos out there? They're there for a reason, dunderheads. Play along or...

Of course, anyone wanting to visit the re-education camps is welcome and will be rendered immune from anyone else trying to make you into a screaming goat...and humiliate you on YouTube.

Take it or leave it.

2:46 AM  
Anonymous The Phantom Stranger said...

The Troglaman seems to not understand that once a disease is identified, the next step is to eradicate it.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Troglaman, your last post was getting close to Kayinmaine territory. Maybe thinking before you write would sound more... sane.

Unless Kay-style was what you were going for. In which case, congratulations!

12:24 AM  
Blogger Ogrrre said...

It seems that maybe Troggy has a crush on Kayinsane, and is trying, in his juvenile way to get her attention. Give it up, Troglatwat. From her earlier posts, she only has eyes for her son. Unless ... Has anyone ever seen Troglaturd and Kay's son in the same room?

9:13 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Legalize weed and you'll go to the Super Bowl. Simple as that.

12:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meanwhile it's a long, cold winter here in weedless Packer Land.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's now January 26th.

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's now January 26th.

3:22 PM  
Blogger jmcenanly said...

To paraphrase Gypsy Rose Lee, we've been warm and we've been cold. Warm is better

5:53 PM  
Blogger Liberalmann said...

Typical Country Club Republican.

11:58 AM  

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