Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Begging Blue Fairy Bill For Wisconsin Salvation

Help us, Blue Fairy! Please help us! Only you can help us in the Wisconsin recall election, Blue Fairy! Please come to Wisconsin! Please come and save us, Blue Fairy!

Such is the attitude of the DUmmies acting like that kid robot in the movie AI begging for help from the Blue Fairy. Only in this case, their Blue Fairy is one Bill Clinton and the DUmmies are perplexed why he doesn't show up in Wisconsin and save the day for them. If you thought David in AI was pathetic begging for help from the Blue Fairy thousands of feet under the sea until both were frozen solid then that what the DUmmies appear like while begging to Bill Clinton in this THREAD, "Bill Clinton 'sorting out his schedule' to come to WI before Tuesday--per DNC Chair." There is going to be some great DUFU entertainment next Tuesday when the Wisconsin recall results come in and, fortunately I'll be able to cover it with full fingered typing again since the day before my hand cast FINALLY comes off. So let us now watch the DUmmies pray to Blue Fairy Bill in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent,already popping up the popcorn for next week's entertainment, is in the [brackets]:

Bill Clinton 'sorting out his schedule' to come to WI before Tuesday--per DNC Chair.

[WOW! Blue Fairy Bill is "sorting out his schedule" to come to Wisconsin? It sounds like he just can't wait to get there...NOT!]

DNC chair, in Wisconsin today (at last!) to back Tom Barrett in the recall election to boot out Gov. Scott Walker, announced that former President Bill Clinton is "sorting out his schedule" to try to come to Wisconsin before the election on Tuesday. 

[Yeah, Saturn's moons need to be in proper alignment with Uranus for Blue Fairy Bill to make that decision.]

But we know this: All of you who signed petitions to the DNC, who called the DNC, who posted here and elsewhere about the need for the DNC to get big-name support here for Barrett -- you did it! And I remember Bill Clinton's first visit to Milwaukee . . . his charisma was felt throughout our huge arena, and his enthusiasm will make a difference, too . . . just like the difference that already has been made in Wisconsin by you. 

[You did it! Blue Fairy Bill will show up in Wisconsin...or maybe not.]

11:20 AM PT: Update: Just spotted a story that Bill Clinton is heading to New Jersey on Friday for GOTV there -- so it would be so great if he could get here to Wisconsin this weekend! 

[All roads to Wisconsin lead through New Jersey..hee...hee. And now to the DUmmie peanut gallery still under the delusion that Blue Fairy Bill actually wants to go to Wisconsin...]

Good news. 

[Obviously good news since you can't go to Wisconsin without first going to New Jersey.]

Oh, I hope he DOES.... that would be a shot in the arm for them... He needs to record robo calls too 

[Maybe if you're real lucky, Blue Fairy Bill might lift his finger slightly...from New Jersey.]

Let's hope this is real.

[Of course, it's real. As real as the Blue Fairy.]

It's a trial run for November for OFA. And if Bill Clinton is coming in I think they sense that this is doable. Finally, Walker has not released one private poll which seems odd. 

[Blue Fairy WILL come and save us even if we have to beg for the next 5000 years under the sea.]

I live in NJ I don't know why he's coming here there's nothing special going on Tuesday. Big dog skip my state and get your ass in Wisconsin 

[And you'll have to wait 5000 years for that light bulb of reality to finally flicker on above your tiny skull.]

But the Big DLC Dawgs favorite howls are simply not right on the labor rights issues that are central to the recall here in WI. 

[For that task you need the moonbat screechings.]

He's probably the biggest "gun" they have, short of President and VP. He can rally the troops at least as well, without it making the whole thing about him. President Obama can't do that, given the circumstances. I'd hate to see this turned into another bullcrap fest like the Olympic thing, where President Obama gets blamed for a loss because he went to bat for someone or something that had nothing to do with him.

[And David continued to pray to the blue fairy... she who smiled softly forever. She who welcomed forever. Eventually, the floodlights died... but David could still see her, palely, by day. And he still addressed her, in hope. He prayed until all the sea anemones had shriveled and died... as the ocean froze... and the ice encased the amphilbicopter and the Blue Fairy... locking them together where he could see her... a blue ghost in ice. Always there. Always smiling. Always awaiting him. Eventually, he never moved at all... but his eyes always stayed open... staring ahead forever all though the darkness of each night... and the next day... and the next day... Thus, 2000 years passed by.]

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Debbie Does Dullness: Wasserman Weasels on Wisconsin

DNC Spinmeistress Debtie Wassername Shills

DNC SpokesDuNCe Debbie Wasserman Schultz has been using weasel words to speak about the upcoming Wisconsin recall election. Wasserman Schultz (apparently her hyphen is broken) is in a Dem dilemma.  On the one hand, Debbie's got to put on a happy face about their chances in Wisconsin and the glorious nationwide victory that that will portend for November. On the other hand, privately, Debbie knows the Democrats are losing Wisconsin and are in big trouble for November. So now when she has to speak about the significance of the Wisconsin recall election, Wasserman is trying to cover her wass.

What is Debbie to do? Should Wassername Shills sound enthusiastic and excited about Wisconsin? Or should the Spinmeistress downplay the recall election, in case the Rethugs win? And should the Head DuNCe pour money into a losing cause? If she doesn't, she'll hear it from the progs and the union bosses.

Then there's the national aspect of this. If the Dems lose Wisconsin in June, it will not bode well for them in November. Debtie knows she'll have a hard time selling the Debtocrats and Baroke Obama this fall.

So Debbie is caught between Barack and a hard place. This is why Wasserman is weaseling on Wisconsin.

The DUmmies, true to form, are blaming Debbie for this mess. She's too centrist, too dull, too tepid and timid. That's the standard explanation for all Democrat failure, i.e., not being radical-left progressive enough. As we see in this THREAD, "Debbie Wasserman Schultz: ‘There Aren’t Going To Be Any Repercussions’ If Walker Wins In Wisconsin."

So let us now watch the DUmmies drub Debbie, in Recall Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering when the Democrats will recall HER, is in the [brackets]:

Debbie Wasserman Schultz: ‘There Aren’t Going To Be Any Repercussions’ If Walker Wins In Wisconsin

[Translation: "We're going down in flames, but I've got to pretend things are looking up for November."]

“It’s an election that’s based in Wisconsin. It’s an election that I think is important nationally because Scott Walker is an example of how extreme the tea party has been when it comes to the policies that they have pushed the Republicans to adopt,” Wasserman Schultz said. “But I think it’ll be, at the end of the day, a Wisconsin-based election. . . .”

[Debbie Does Doublespeak.]

Get her THE F*** out of that position. . . . how can she make a stupid statement like that?

[She's a Democrat. She's STUCK on stupid.]

If the folks in Wisconsin don't know the stakes in this election and re-elect that scumbag, they get what they deserve. And, no, the world will continue to spin. . . .

[As will Debbie.]

Rachel Maddow . . . might be a better choice for that position.

[Rachel likes to be on top.]

Sometimes I really wonder about Debbie, is she just clueless, or is it something else?

[To ask the question is to answer it.]

We need to see her eat her words!

[The taste of weasel, on both sides of her mouth.]

Even Cher, a supporter of Wasserman, tweeted her last week, saying if she did not get involved, she would lose respect for her.

[And the tweet goes on . . . the tweet goes on . . .]

It means heads are gonna roll in Wisconsin Dem circles.

[Cheeseheads will roll.]

It means we need HOWARD DEAN back.


she's got her head up her ass. Saying this means nothing???????

[Actually, she's covering her wass.]

Debbie does - something or other. Disappointment for one thing.

[Debbie Does Dullness.]

she's been a TOTAL disappointment. Utterly useless.

[Debbie Downer.]

Can we throw her out, early, if Wisconsin goes down? Or are we stuck with her through the end of her DNC term?

[Start a petition and have a recall election.]

Jesus Debbie...Sometimes I think the moose in your hair sinks into your brain.

[I thought it was Palin that had moose in her hair.]

That is mousse not moose. . . . Personally I think she has Bat Sh*t in her hair.

[Moonbat sh*t.]

"moose"? As in Bullwinkle?

[No, dahlink, as in "mousse and curl."]

I'm a little less impressed every time she speaks.

[But what about her hair? Isn't that impressive?]

If the Democratic Party can't be effective in Wisconsin, where can they succeed?

[France. Go there.]

What an idiot. How the hell did she become head of the DNC?

["Idiot" was one of the boxes on the application.]

The DNC is useless.

She's f***ing delussional!

f*** her.... she's another phony democrat. . . .

[DNCing With The Slurs.]

What are you on, Debbie? And can I have some?

[Debbie Does Doobies.]

Friday, May 25, 2012

They HATE Obama, a smart, good-looking, successful, articulate Black Man!

"Yeah, I'm lookin' at YOU!"

If you oppose President Obamas' re-election, you must be a racist! There can be no other explanation!

"Huh?" you say. "I don't oppose him because of his race; I oppose him because of his ideology and his incompetence." Nope! Don't believe it! You hate our President because you can't stand having a Black Man in the White House!

When in doubt, play the Race Card. That is the Democrat fall-back option. Witness this THREAD from DUmmie Logical (sic), "Face it, Most of them HATE Obama being a smart, good looking, successful and articulate Black Man!"

So let us watch the DUmmies try to avoid the real reason why so many people think BO stinks, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, chuckling that over 40% of DEMOCRAT voters in the last several primaries picked an inmate, an unknown, or "Uncommitted" over Obama, is in the [Barackets]:

Face it. . . .

[Race it.]

Most of them HATE Obama being a smart, good looking, successful and articulate Black Man!

[You forgot "clean."]

This is sort of a rant. . . .

[The stupid sort.]

I hate to simplify it too much but. . . .

[. . . I will anyway.]

I cannot see any other reason to despise this man!

[I can think of about 16 trillion reasons.]

He is not a radical left wing democrat.

[You are right. He is a radical left-wing socialist.]

Hell, many of us think he is not left enough!

[That must be his white half.]

Hmmmmmmm, is it because he is a Black man, who is smart, who has been successful?

[Hmmmmmmm, is it because he is a Bolshevik Red man, who is Marxist, who has sucked?]

Is it because he is clever and witty?

[Wow, somehow I missed that. When was he clever and witty? Was it that "cow-pie" remark the other day? That was a real knee-slapper.]

Is it because he can go on Letterman and crack up an audience and looks damn good doing it?

[Look, if that makes someone a good president, I'd vote for Shecky Greene.]

He is funnier, smarter and more successful than 99% of the GOP voters.

[I KNEW it! He's part of the 1%!]

And this pisses them off because he is not their color!!!!

[DUmmie Logical (sic) dabbles as a mind-reader.]

And having a wife who is smart, successful and likable makes them even madder.

[Obama has a likable wife? Where? In Indonesia?]

If I am missing something let me know!

[Your marbles. . . . Now on to your colleagues, DUmmie Logical (sic) . . .]

I think you nailed it.

[I think you screwed it. Up.]

The angry, ignorant white male is scared, no doubt about it.

[That's the only possible explanation.]

Four more years of a black family living in the white house if you please!!!!

[Congressman West and his family appreciate your support, but he's not running this year.]

He has style.

[And rhythm. Don't forget rhythm.]

He is also young.

[Um, he's in his 50s. Unless he's come up with another birth certificate now.]

Go My President, Go! Go!

[Yes, Go! Go far away!]

yeah- and he is cool. He is really a smooth guy. And he has a voice. He can sing.

[President as lounge act.]

Obama is the single best role model for young men of all races.

[America's Next Top Role Model, an incompetent community organizer, in above his pay grade.]

I want my children to look like Obama.

[I want MY children to not have to pay Obama's debt.]

Republican racism is best left just under the a stealthy submarine, cruising unnoticed by the masses.

[The Hunt for Red November.]

AND THEN THE BLACK GUY WON! After the initial shock, and the obligatory pats on their own backs for "electing the first black man to be president" (even though 99% of them did not vote for him). . . .

[I KNEW it! Obama is a tool of the 1%!]

The black man wants us all to have health care.

[At somebody else's expense. And God help you if you are the somebody else.]

His wife wears SHORTS.

[Now that IS scary!]

Obama slipped through the cracks of oppression. . . .

[Yeah, how did the Black Man get elected anyhow? I though Amerikka was so racist. . . .]

He never makes his race an issue.

[And neither do Republicans. It's just you DUmmies who do.]

They despised Bill Clinton to the point of impeaching him. And they *still* despise and ridicule Jimmy Carter. Do you think the Republicans would have gone easier on a white Dem who had implemented the same policies as Obama?

[Ding ding ding! DUmmie Nye Bevan, you win today's Kewpie Doll, for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Congratulations!]

most of them just hate the fact that a Democrat is in the White House.

[Sorry, DUmmie Arkansas Granny, only one Kewpie Doll per thread. Play again next time!]

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

"So, what are your plans since the glorious revolution is not coming?"

They were hoping for this . . .

They ended up with this . . .

A guy in a Guy Fawkes mask. And that, for about six weeks last fall. The 1% are trembling in their custom-made gecko-skin boots.

This was the time that the Occupy movement was supposed to reenergize itself and sweep across the country in a massive wave of revolutionary fervor. The Prog Spring of 2012. Wha' hoppen? Kinda fell flat, didn't it? Oh sure, you still have Know-it-all Nadin Brzezinski, Girl Reporter, sniffing out stories at her local OWS GA. You still have Trust Fund Ted Hall pleading, "Help us now!" You have OccuPoet Misty Rowan huffing and puffing in her frustration. But other than those few True Believers, where are the rest of the masses and why aren't they rising up? May Day turned out to be Maybe Not Day. Heck, William Rivers Pitt, the 40-Year-Old Insurgent, is still lodged in his Barcalounger watching Bruins' games long after the Bruins were eliminated.

Doubts now are setting in among some of the DUmmies. Witness this THREAD, "So, what are your plans since the glorious revolution is not coming?"

Will the DUmmies keep the faith? Let's find out. DUmmies, Bolshevik Red. Me, Charles Henrickson, [brackets]:

So, what are your plans since the glorious revolution is not coming?

[What, you don't BELIEEEEEEEEEEEVE??]

OWS appears to be a bust.


It made a point initially, but seems to have lost steam.

[The steaming pile of crap that is Occupy is cooling off.]

For example, Chicago was practically a ghost town yesterday as anyone who lives or works here stayed away. You had a group of protesters marching through the city aimlessly for about five hours playing cat and mouse with cops. Really not sure what that accomplished.


What's Plan B?

[EIGHT hours of marching aimlessly.]

Plan B? Work like hell to elect true Progressives.

[That WOULD be like hell.]

I think we will get more help from Obama in his second term.

["Second term"? "Second term"?? Are you kidding me?? "SECOND TERM"??? < /mora>]

I agree with you about Obama in his second term--it's "Legacy Time" at that stage of the game.

[It's "Lunacy Time" if he gets it.]

It's time to turn our attention to November.

[Yes, that's right, Democratics. Be sure to GET OUT THERE AND VOTE on November 7th!]

There was little warning that the French revolution was going to break out, but indeed it did. . . .

[NOBODY expects the French Revolution!]

The same with other revolts throughout history.

[And now the DUmmies are revolting!]

You cannot predict them by how many people are out in the streets protesting. . . .

[Indeed. The fact that they are NOT out there protesting could be a sign that the revolution is about to start! Or not.]

I am not young, stupid or naive.

[No. You are old, stupid, and naive.]

The whole population does not suddenly decide it is time to stand up. Someone stands up and others follow.

[Pied Piper Pitt, get out of that Barcalounger! The nation NEEDS you!]

But OWS is not well organized.

[No way! Ted Hall tweeted me tomorrow's schedule, and there's a drum circle set for 2:45, followed by a sidewalk defecation at 3:30, and a teach-in at 4:00. And you say there's no organization!!]

even a whiff of criticism of Occupy's strategy brings personal attacks. . . .

[Even a whiff of the Occupiers brings asthma attacks.]

Yesterday's march seemed to wander aimlessly for hours on end. What did that accomplish?

[Air movement, at least.]

I definitely want to see us evolve past capitalism to socialism.

[Is that you, Barack Obama?]

Mon dieu. . . .

[Moon DU. . . .]

Plan 'C' for Chinese!

[Plan 9 from Outer Space.]

The revolution is happening. . . .

[The aptly-named lunatica weighs in.]

But you don't hear about it form the media. Thus it will take a little longer since it's the impossible.

[It's also the invisible.]

Have faith.


We're probably still too well off in spite of not being well off.

[So let's get poorer so we can have a revolution. Brilliant.]

Looks like porn and basements for awhile.

[The DUmmie Way.]

Passive Class Warfare.

[DUmmie Chan790 has a plan . . .]

Let's make being wealthy so unpleasant that the wealthy choose to not be wealthy.

[Yes! I get it! We'll make the wealthy . . . not . . . uh, want . . . to be . . . . wealthy. . . . Hmm, have to think about that one. . . .]

just build an eventually-critical mass of people who refuse to work for them or do business with them on any equitable level, actively discriminate against them, never pass up an opportunity to do something purely because it'll make their lives suck a bit more. Let them suffer our active contempt.

[We fart in your general direction, you silly rich pig-dogs!]

If I had a piece of land and it was next to Mitt Romney's piece of land and he wanted a 4' easement...I'd demand $1B and I'd tell him upfront that I was spending most of the money to destroy the things he loves in life. If I found David Koch's wallet in the street, I'd burn it rather than return it. If I was selling a product, I'd sell them for a loss before I'd ever sell one to Eric Cantor. Get in front of Rush Limbaugh's car on a single-lane no-passing-road in which runs in front of the police station...and drive as slow as legally-possible. If I had a dog, it would never crap anywhere but the best front lawns in gated communities. Actively conspire to make sure that nobody will mow Sheldon Adelson's lawn for any sum of money. Open a homeless shelter directly across the street from their children's prissy little private schools and halfway houses near their homes. Rent office space in their buildings on long-term leases then lend-use to methadone clinics, life-after-prison and social-welfare organizations. . . .

[Interesting plan you have there, DUmmie Chan790. We'll call it the Chan Plan. I can see you've given it a lot of thought. Does this get you excited? I mean, thinking about having a dog go poop on lawns in gated dommunities? Thinking about getting in front of Rush Limbaugh's car and slowing down? Let me ask you this, though: Have you thought about how likely any of this is to happen? Have you thought about how many you will have in your "eventually-critical mass of people" who will join you in the Chan Plan, aka the Obnoxious Neighbor Crusade? And you think this will cause the wealthy to not want to be wealthy??]

I really don't see any viability to this plan.

[Get that man's name!]

OWS is a "bust"????? WTF????

[Somehow the news didn't get to this one.]

The Movement is still very much alive.

[Today's Sidewalk Defecation is ON!]

We change or slip into fascism for as long as the Earth can support it until the resources aren't there and we see massive die off and plunge into darkness for as many generations as the eye can see and in all probability this will be the highwater mark of our race because there will be no "low hanging fruit" resource wise and our race ends where it began on this little dot in the corner suburbs of an unremarkable galaxy trapped like rats incapable of growing beyond rats on a sinking ship.

[And on that cheery note. . . .]

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Anger Over Newsweek 'First Gay President' Cover

Newsweek featured Barack Obama on the cover with a rainbow halo over his head with the title: "First Gay President." And now the DUmmies are angry because of the effect that cover will have on the election this year. I don't think Tina Brown was doing The One any favors when she chose that Newsweek cover. My thought is that the Newsweek folks and many other media liberals live in an insulated bubble which prevents them from seeing the damage that cover can do to the Bamster. However, many DUmmies are worried about this as well as ANGRY at Newsweek as you can see in this THREAD, "WOW, Newsweek Cover: "The First Gay President." So let us now watch the DUmmies work up a rage over the Newsweek "First Gay President" cover in Bolshevik red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that the only person angrier over that cover than the Dummies is Barack himself, is in the [barackets]:

WOW, Newsweek Cover: "The First Gay President" 

[Sometimes even Newsweek is accurate.]

Since the President himself is not gay, "Pro-Gay President" would be more exact..n/t 

[Either way, Ben Burch will take it.]

Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

[Whispered the voice from the Seinfeld wing of DUmmieland.]

WTF??? I know..I'm dreaming...a well-meaning fourth grade student was allowed to write the copy for the cover of an internationally distributed magazine...or...DC Comics has a new Bizarro World mag disguised for April Fools..., i'm awake. Did someone tell Michelle about this, or like Rudy Giuliani's wife, who apparrently didn't know she was getting a divorce, did she have to hear this stuff from the media?

[I think Michelle knew about this long, long ago.]

Yeah, I kind of agree. Beltway folks and politicos will get it almost certainly...but it's going to cause the same sort of "Whaaa?" reaction from people that that goddamned awful New Yorker cover did, with Obama and his wife dressed up like terrorists, fist-bumping in the Oval Office did. 

[Whaaa? ...hahahahahahahaha!!!!!]

Wonder what Michelle will think of that. 

[She will think that he is the first metrosexual president.]

I would hazard a guess that this won't go over well with some people while most everyone was fine with the media pronouncing Clinton "the first black President." 

[It will go over quite well with Ben Burch.]

f*ck newsweek....the wingers will only see the headline....and believe it. 


President Obama reads Andrew's Blog the Daily Dish. 

[Did Newsweek dish out one secret too many?]

Unfortunately, some bigots who might otherwise vote for Obama will also be turned against him because of this. I absoutely wish that our society were mature enough and decent enough to elect a gay president--or a woman president, for that matter--but I do not think it is. Of course, I also wish I could trust the American people in general to udnerstand what is meant by this cover.

[Oh we understand the cover quite well. Hee! Hee!]

It Could Have Been Worse. They could have had him suckling the nipple of another man on the cover. 

[Ben Burch just volunteered to be that other man.]

Between this and the Time magazine cover... It's amazing that news weeklies have lasted this long. 

[This week I am predicting the biggest sales for Newsweek in years. Almost every gay bar in the country will buy a copy just to put that cover on their walls.]

Thursday, May 10, 2012

"Cherokee Checkbox": The Faux Squaw, the Democrats' Warren Woman

Elizabeth Warren, the Democrat candidate for Senate in Massachusetts, is the darling of DUmmieland. The men think she's a MILHFW (Mother I'd Like to Have a Frappucino With). The women want to have her baby. In DUmmieland, she is Queen Elizabeth.

Recently, though, in the real world, some disturbing facts have come out about Elizabeth Warren. Turns out Liz listed herself as a "Native American" in her bio as a professor. Checking the "Native American" box gave her "minority status," don't ya know. And Lizzie would talk about her grandfather who had "high cheekbones," which apparently is proof of Indian blood.

Well, it's possible Elizabeth Warren MAY, at most, be 1/32 Cherokee from some great-great-somebody way back when. But even that is in doubt now. It's just come out recently that she had an ancestor who was among the soldiers that ROUNDED UP the Cherokees to take them on the "Trail of Tears." Oopsie! Guess the family lore got mixed up a little bit.

Are the DUmmies mad that Lizzie Warren deceived them? Nope. The DUmmies are mad at Rethug Sen. Scott Brown, who pointed out the problems with Warren's bogus bio. The DUmmies are putting on their warpaint. Smoke signals are rising from their bonfires. Witness this THREAD, "Elizabeth Warren getting grief for listing herself as Native American before getting hired @ Harvard."

But before we get to the DUmmies, I want to offer up this musical tribute to Elizabeth Warren. Click the music link and sing along!

Tune: Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)

She took some small Cherokee ration
Put this on her information
"Native A," although it's slight
She checked the box even though she's white

Took a while till it was known
That Liz is Anglo to the bone
And all the claims she made before
Aren't Lizzie Warren's anymore

Cherokee Checkbox, Cherokee Pride
So proud you hold your cheekbones high

She took the whole Indian fable
Used it for her PC label
Though she's blond with eyes of blue
She's still a redskin through and through

Cherokee Checkbox, Cherokee Pride
So proud you hold your cheekbones high

But maybe someday when she's beat
Cherokee Checkbox will retreat
Will retreat
Will retreat
Will retreat
Will retreat

Yes, Elizabeth Warren--aka Princess Summelfall Feranything . . . Spreading Bull . . . Dances With Moonbats . . . the Faux Squaw . . . the Democrats' Warren Woman.

Lizzie Warren took an "x"
And filled some boxes with her checks
And when she came to "Cherokee"
She checked her cheekbones, said "That's me!"

So let us now embark on the "Trail of Laffs" and see what the DUmmies are saying, in What-Makes-the-Red-Man Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Will the Shill Pitt will be able to get a job working for Warren--Nope! Remember, this Saturday, May 12, will be the sixth anniversary of Fitzmas--is in the [brackets]:

Elizabeth Warren getting grief for listing herself as Native American before getting hired @ Harvard

[Why? Whatever for? Isn't it obvious that she's a Cherokee? I mean, other than the blond hair and blue eyes.]

Warren explains minority listing, talks of grandfather's "high cheekbones"

[Ah, the cheekbones! Of course! A surefire giveaway.]

Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren on Wednesday sought to explain her controversial decision to list herself as a Native American in a directory of law professors for nearly a decade before getting a job at Harvard Law School and said she is absolutely qualified for her job.

[Celebrate diversity!]

"I listed myself directory in the hopes that might mean that I would be invited to a luncheon a group something with people who are like I am."

[Would that be the luncheon for People Who Fudge on Their Résumés?]

[The DUmmies chime in . . .]

1/32 Cherokee isn't enough to say u are part Native American???

[Shocking that anyone would question that, right? Even though, I suppose, the person would be, technically, I guess, sort of 31/32 NOT Native American.]

Warren hails from Oklahoma, formerly Indian Territory.

[Well, that settles it! That, and Grandpa Cheekbones.]

My mother was 1/32 Cherokee. . . . I believe that I no longer qualify. Though I still tan red instead of brown, can't grow chest hair, and my facial hair is sparse.

[Look, Nadin, just because you can't grow chest hair and your facial hair is sparse, look on the bright side: You save on shaving cream.]

Osiyo, Dinadanvtli!


I'm part Chocktaw . . .

[And full Moonbat.]

She is Native American.

[You are Naive American.]

Self identifying as a minority for 11 years is a bit disturbing, especially when benefits can be attained by that claim.




Claiming benefits to which you are entitled is "disturbing"?

[Yeah! If I want to self-identify as a Native African-American Wise-Latina Lesbian Trapped in a Man's Body, who are you to question me?]

If you have Indian blood then you are an Indian.

[Wisdom from the Hopi Elders.]

do people really give a sh*t about this ?

[Let's find out . . .]

cool... I didn't know she had native american in her

[Apparently some people DO give a sh*t. It's the White Guilt thing, you know. Anything not white is cool. Even if it's 1/32. So Elizabeth Warren, the Faux Squaw, is officially cool.]

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

"BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality"

This has not been a good week for Barack Obama. The One kicked off his re-election campaign--not that he has ever STOPPED campaigning--Obamassiah kicked off his re-election campaign the other day, and half the crowd in the stadium came disguised as empty seats. The Obama campaign rolled out an ad called "The Life of Julia," which portrays women as lifelong dependents on the federal government, but "Julia" was met with universal mockery. Then yesterday BO did manage to win the WV Dem primary, but 40% of the vote went to a federal inmate named Keith Judd. Enthusiasm gap, anyone? The thrill is gone.

Likewise for the DUmmies as a whole, this has not been a good week. The Democrats' Warren Woman, Lizzie Warren, aka Princess DUmmerfall Winterspring, has been revealed to be a faux squaw. And Kathleen Falk, DUmmieland's choice to run against WI Gov. Walker in the recall election, got drubbed in the Dem primary.

What's more, North Carolina voters yesterday passed a ban on homo marriage, by a vote of over 60%. So what did Dear Leader do just now today? He came out in favor of homo marriage! Forward, BO! Forward! Yes, Barry, you go ahead and SPIT in the face of the voters of North Carolina, a state you MUST carry to win in November! The economy is in shambles, the debt is skyrocketing, gasoline prices are sky-high, jobs are scarce--and Barry's big move is to massage Bawney Fwank's . . . ego.

Democrats across the land must be sweating nervously, as they contemplate the Community Organizer-in-Chief dragging them down to defeat this fall. But in DUmmieland--in DUmmieland, the sound of REJOICING resounds o'er every hill and vale! Huzzah! Huzzah! FINALLY, President Obama has come to his senses and come out in favor of marriage equality! This is a Great Day in the history of the world! Sodomite marriage--the issue that will carry Progressives to victory in November and on into the ages of ages to come! Tears of joy are flowing freely. Dozens of threads to celebrate. We'll go with this THREAD, "BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality."

So let us enter the DUmmieland Den of Denial, in Bolshveik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, applauding the President's unintentional War on Democrats, is in the [Barackets]:

BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality

[BREAKING FORTH IN JOY: DUmmies Embrace Obama's Empty Pandering to teh Gheys]

President Obama has come out . . .

[FINALLY! We were all wondering when he would admit the obvious. . . . Oh, wait, there's more . . .]

President Obama has come out in support of marriage equality. . . .

[On behalf of all husbands everywhere, I appreciate the sentiment.]

. . . for gay and lesbian people. . . .

[Oh. Never mind.]

OBAMA: I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together. . . .

[Here's a clue, Obama. If they are in "same-sex relationships," they CANNOT have kids together. It is physically impossible. They may "raise" them, but they cannot HAVE them.]

when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors. . . .

[You mean the seamen?]

I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.

[Note: Nothing has changed because of BO coming out with this opinion today. But you'd think it was the greatest day since the dawn of fruit roll-ups, judging by the DUmmies' reaction . . .]

Bravo Mr. President!


Now we just need to help him and the Dems in November to finalize equality!

[Go for it! Forward! Sodomy today, bestiality tomorrow!]

He was in Albany the other day and had a meeting with Cuomo.

[Cuomo is a huomo? I did not know that. Are they planning to tie the knot?]

F***ing HUGE!!! I'm spreading this far and wide!

[Is that what Cuomo said? Well, you know what they say. . . .]

Oh, yes, it is! Yes indeed!

[Cuomo was VERY excited.]


[That's one way to describe it.]

Tweety says this is earth-shaking.

[Chrissy Matthews is VERY jealous.]

well, the handwriting was on the wall. . . .

[And it said, "For a good time, call Ken, 555-3124."]

I guess we have Joe Biden to thank for causing the issue to be brought to a head. . . .

[Plugs Biden--oh, God love ya, what am I sayin'? It is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid double entendres in this thread!]

I think a lot of iffy, kind of dejected voters are pumped up now.

[Obama was wanting to fire up the base. . . . DARN! See what I mean?]

The crap he is going to take right now will be worth it in the end.

[I give up.]

Of course, this will likely cost him my bigoted state of NC. . . .

[Hee! Hee! And may Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Florida, and all the other bigoted swing states be added to the list!]

Two thumbs up.

[The Ben Burch Seal of Approval.]

Saturday, May 05, 2012

DUmmie Forced to Watch Fox News at Wendy's

Oh the horror! The absolute HORROR!!! A DUmmie goes into a Wendy's and what should be playing on the big screen TV but Fox News. His tiny brain must suffer from the "infection." Even worse, DUmmie peace13 knows that other customers are being exposed to information not approved by the liberal party line spouted by the other networks as you can see in this THREAD, "Local Wendy's just installed a big screen TV!" So let us know watch the DUmmie outrage over contrary political views being permitted in a public restaurant in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, continuing with his Django Rhinehart typing, is in the [brackets]:

Local Wendy's just installed a big screen TV! 

[Now tell us the horror story.]

Today we went to our local Wendy's and lo and behold they have installed a big screen TV. We asked the manager if she would please change the channel and she said that they had tried that and it only shows black on other stations. Faux News there, as big as life. Seven months before a big election and they plunk that thing in the dining room. 

[Yeah, that one big screen TV showing Fox News could well swing the outcome of the election.]

I called the operating manager and l let him know that I was upset about the addition and he asked me what I had against *ox News. I let him know that it wasn't news and that we found it offensive. He asked what channel I would like to see and I let him know that I wouldn't direct anyone to a particular station but if they were insistent on showing TV, the weather channel might be as useful as any this time of year. 

[Did the manager also ask if you're off your meds?]

He said that he would pass the info to the owners and I let him know that we would be back next week and if *ox was still on that would be it for us. Our other peace nic friends were in there and they too were disgusted. If the regulars quit coming maybe it will mean something. This is sad because up until now the restaurant had been a neighborhood gathering place.
[Maybe that could please you by broadcasting Al Jazeera. And now on to the other outraged DUmmies...]

Our local hospital has Fox on the tv in the waiting room. Completely empty room on the ICU floor, tv blaring. I had to be in that room while a family member was being seen in ICU. I turned it to Nat Geo channel, turned volume down. After a few minutes someone else came into the waiting room and stared at the tube, then asked if I minded if they changed the channel. I told them only hospital staff were allowed to touch it. 

[Good job. You LIED to prevent the possibility of anybody else watching FOX News.]

i remember Fox was on at Macy's just outside the fitting rooms where people can wait 

[There goes the election!]

I bet you can find someplace that serves real food with no TV. 

[Check your local DUmpster.]

There are two McDonald's in the town I live in and both refuse to play anything but Fox News. I know because I have asked and been told that is what the franchise owner wants broadcast. It was the same in the gastroenterologist office I used to go to. I say exercise your right to not be propagandized. Get up, tell them why and go somewhere else. 

[Maybe these outlets know that FOX News is by far the most popular cable news channel and want to make available what their customers want to see. Or do you think they should be paying Current TV?]

I find it truly amazing that people have become so impressionable that merely having a news report from an unfavorable source during the time that it takes to consume a hamburger is of such a danger that they cannot be subjected to it without having to protest and raise fuss. Eat at home lest ye be led astray. 


Wednesday, May 02, 2012

The May Day When Everything Finally Changed!

Did the world seem to be, well, a better place when you woke up this morning? Was the sun shining a little more brightly? Were the birds singing more sweetly? Is there a new sense of justice and fairness and equality in the air you breathe today? Yes?

Yes, I know there is. Why? Because yesterday was MAY DAY 2012, THE DAY WHEN EVERYTHING FINALLY CHANGED (v. 47.2). MAY DAY! MAY DAY! The day so highly anticipated, the premier event of the Prog Spring of 2012, is now history. Indeed, it MADE history, that is how significant it is. In the annals of annaldom, this will go down as something that happened.

People--THE People, the 99%--took to the streets and did nothing. To do nothing for one whole day--think of the impact! No work! No school! No chores! Not One D*mn Anything Day! GENERAL STRIKE! SHUT IT DOWN! Bring the f***ing capitalist pigs TO THEIR KNEES!

Thus did the DUmmies of DUmmieland express their solidarity with this movement of non-movement, viz., the Occupy May Day General Strike. Witness this THREAD, "Occupy movement prepares for nationwide general strike."

So let us now leave the 1% behind and go in search of the 99, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, occupies the space in the [brackets]:

Occupy movement prepares for nationwide general strike. . . .


Occupy Wall Street organizers plan hundreds of marches, strikes and teach-ins in 120 cities around the country on Tuesday for what they call a “general strike” for economic justice.

[Teach-ins, even! Think of the impact!]

May Day protesters from New York labor unions, immigrants groups and others are expected to march from Union Square to Wall Street on Tuesday for “A Day without the 99 Percent.”

["A Day without Trust Fund Ted Hall." It will DEVASTATE Wall Street!]

Officials in other cities, such as Seattle, have warned of the possibility of vandalism and violence.

[V for Vandalism and Violence. Be sure to don your Guy Fawkes masks and gas masks (which you need anyway when hanging out with the OWSies).]

Other big actions are planned for the West Coast, including a large march in the San Francisco Bay area. Organizers said a plan to shut down the Golden Gate Bridge has been scrapped.

[Pitt was too pooped to cross that bridge.]

If there's violence I'm washing my hands of them.

[Pitt is washing his head.]

Will someone please give me a job so i can stay home tomorrow?

[If a DUmmie stays in the basement, and there's no job around to stay home from, does it go on strike?]

M1GS (May 1st General Strike) is not just a day of not doing things. It's also a day of . . .

[. . . complaining about not having things to not do.]

Many of us here will be in the streets tomorrow. Occupying. Whose streets? OUR streets!

[OUR streets! Yes! Take to them! Occupy them! Say it loud, say it proud: WE'RE PIERCED! WE'RE COMMUNIST! WE'RE IN YOUR SPACE!]

I will participate and spread the word.


This the people's last best hope for real change.


Be careful about putting all your eggs in one basket, there.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! AGENT PROVOCATEUR!!! You're trying to squelch the rising tide and dispirit the multitudes!]

see you in the streets!!!

[It will happen! The world is on tiptoes!]

In the STREETS, bro!!!

[Speak it!]

We're in.

[Just hours to go now!]

I've been encouraging workers to wear red . . .

[BOLSHEVIK Red. . .]

. . . in solidarity even if you can't participate.

[Even if you're not able to not do anything, you can still do something! Brilliant! It'll make an impact!]

How well publicised was this?

[Um, well . . . MAY DAY! MIC CHECK! SHUT IT DOWN! WE ARE THE 99%!]

I think I only first saw something about it on the main DU forums yesterday. If it had that low visibility on a site like DU that should be ideal for the message, I suspect the action won't get to the level that can be called a 'general strike'.

[Another agent provocateur, squelching and dispiriting! Shut her down!]

It has been posted here sporadically for about 2 months or more

[Two months of sporadic posts on DU. How can anyone NOT have heard of it??]

first I heard of this was this evening.


It is going to fizzle...occupy is dead...and has been for quite a while.

[NO! NO! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! LA LA LA LA. . . .]

[Well, this thread is turning into a bummer. Let's try another THREAD. . .]

Prediction: The May 1st "general strike" is going to be an enormous flop.

[LA LA LA LA. . . .]

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure I'll get called a capitalist imperialist running dog lackey for this.

[F***ING capitalist imperialist running dog lackey!]

There's a good reason that you can count the number of general strikes in the US in the last century on one hand and still have fingers left over--it's a practically nonexistant phenomenon, and pretending that you can summon one out of thin air would be funny if it weren't so egomaniacal.

[DUmmie TheWraith, you can count the number of Kewpie Dolls about to be delivered to your door on one finger! Please continue . . .]

If they had bothered to study history, they would know that what they want to try has been tried, and failed, and tried again, and failed again, ad nauseum.

[Go to the Ad Nauseam Museum and you can see the exhibits.]

This will likely make one news cycle and then be written off as a failure.

[Sorry, DUmmie LadyHawkAZ, only Kewpie per DUFU.]

If it gets 5 minutes on the evening news, I'll be amazed.

[But if we give it 5 minutes on the DUFUs, you'll be amused!]

How about defining some specific objectives?

[Sheesh! What does THAT have to do with anything??]

How about organizing politically and running candidates for office? How about not protesting violently? How about defining an identity that goes beyond "We're against income inequality and political corruption"? OWS hasn't done any of those things and as a result, they've fallen off the radar screen and I doubt very many are paying attention.

[Another May Day Naysayer! Agent provocateur!]

If you can't specifically identify the objectives that will fix those problems, the demonstrations are a waste of time.

[So? It's OUR waste of time! On OUR streets! MIC CHECK! 99%! OCCUPY! SHUT IT DOWN! 99%! SHUT IT. . . .]

it is an opportunity to re-connect with other Occupiers and engage with new ones.

[Yes! Re-connect! Engage! Hook up! Meet some chicks! Cool! I'm all over it!]

There are a lot of teach-ins scheduled.

[Teach-ins! Think of the impact!]

What do you think will become of Occupiers if M1GS fizzles?

["If it fizzles"? "IF IT FIZZLES"?? Where is your FAITH, man??? I BELIEEEEEVE!!!]

for some reason Democrats like to piss on fellow Democrats.

[Just ask benburch.]

Define "enormous flop".

[Enormous flop (n.): Prog event or activity that is supposed to change the world but fails to do anything, even when not doing anything is the main (in)activity. See Freudenschade.]

I've been offline. What general strike? thanks.

[I rest my case.]