"BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality"
This has not been a good week for Barack Obama. The One kicked off his re-election campaign--not that he has ever STOPPED campaigning--Obamassiah kicked off his re-election campaign the other day, and half the crowd in the stadium came disguised as empty seats. The Obama campaign rolled out an ad called "The Life of Julia," which portrays women as lifelong dependents on the federal government, but "Julia" was met with universal mockery. Then yesterday BO did manage to win the WV Dem primary, but 40% of the vote went to a federal inmate named Keith Judd. Enthusiasm gap, anyone? The thrill is gone.
Likewise for the DUmmies as a whole, this has not been a good week. The Democrats' Warren Woman, Lizzie Warren, aka Princess DUmmerfall Winterspring, has been revealed to be a faux squaw. And Kathleen Falk, DUmmieland's choice to run against WI Gov. Walker in the recall election, got drubbed in the Dem primary.
What's more, North Carolina voters yesterday passed a ban on homo marriage, by a vote of over 60%. So what did Dear Leader do just now today? He came out in favor of homo marriage! Forward, BO! Forward! Yes, Barry, you go ahead and SPIT in the face of the voters of North Carolina, a state you MUST carry to win in November! The economy is in shambles, the debt is skyrocketing, gasoline prices are sky-high, jobs are scarce--and Barry's big move is to massage Bawney Fwank's . . . ego.
Democrats across the land must be sweating nervously, as they contemplate the Community Organizer-in-Chief dragging them down to defeat this fall. But in DUmmieland--in DUmmieland, the sound of REJOICING resounds o'er every hill and vale! Huzzah! Huzzah! FINALLY, President Obama has come to his senses and come out in favor of marriage equality! This is a Great Day in the history of the world! Sodomite marriage--the issue that will carry Progressives to victory in November and on into the ages of ages to come! Tears of joy are flowing freely. Dozens of threads to celebrate. We'll go with this THREAD, "BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality."
So let us enter the DUmmieland Den of Denial, in Bolshveik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, applauding the President's unintentional War on Democrats, is in the [Barackets]:
BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality
[BREAKING FORTH IN JOY: DUmmies Embrace Obama's Empty Pandering to teh Gheys]
President Obama has come out . . .
[FINALLY! We were all wondering when he would admit the obvious. . . . Oh, wait, there's more . . .]
President Obama has come out in support of marriage equality. . . .
[On behalf of all husbands everywhere, I appreciate the sentiment.]
. . . for gay and lesbian people. . . .
[Oh. Never mind.]
OBAMA: I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together. . . .
[Here's a clue, Obama. If they are in "same-sex relationships," they CANNOT have kids together. It is physically impossible. They may "raise" them, but they cannot HAVE them.]
when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors. . . .
[You mean the seamen?]
I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.
[Note: Nothing has changed because of BO coming out with this opinion today. But you'd think it was the greatest day since the dawn of fruit roll-ups, judging by the DUmmies' reaction . . .]
Bravo Mr. President!
Now we just need to help him and the Dems in November to finalize equality!
[Go for it! Forward! Sodomy today, bestiality tomorrow!]
He was in Albany the other day and had a meeting with Cuomo.
[Cuomo is a huomo? I did not know that. Are they planning to tie the knot?]
F***ing HUGE!!! I'm spreading this far and wide!
[Is that what Cuomo said? Well, you know what they say. . . .]
Oh, yes, it is! Yes indeed!
[Cuomo was VERY excited.]
HOLY F***ING SH*T!!!
[That's one way to describe it.]
Tweety says this is earth-shaking.
[Chrissy Matthews is VERY jealous.]
well, the handwriting was on the wall. . . .
[And it said, "For a good time, call Ken, 555-3124."]
I guess we have Joe Biden to thank for causing the issue to be brought to a head. . . .
[Plugs Biden--oh, God love ya, what am I sayin'? It is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid double entendres in this thread!]
I think a lot of iffy, kind of dejected voters are pumped up now.
[Obama was wanting to fire up the base. . . . DARN! See what I mean?]
The crap he is going to take right now will be worth it in the end.
[I give up.]
Of course, this will likely cost him my bigoted state of NC. . . .
[Hee! Hee! And may Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Florida, and all the other bigoted swing states be added to the list!]
Two thumbs up.
[The Ben Burch Seal of Approval.]