Monday, December 31, 2012

Know-it-all Nadin robbed, then Robbed!

Distraught DUmmies protest the fraudulent DUmmie of the Year results that cost Nadin Brzezinski her title.

As you know, our friends over at Conservative Cave conduct the annual polling to determine the winner of the much-coveted "DUmmie of the Year" (DOTY) award. Last year's winner, and deservedly so, was DUmmie nadinbrzezinski, affectionately known in these parts as Know-it-all Nadin. Nads blew the competition AWAY with her countless, unintentionally hilarious posts, filled with malaprops, misspellings, all-knowingness, and general condescension, on subjects as far-ranging as Fukushima gas clouds, trend-spotting and tipping points, her own coverage as a "journalist" of the Occupy movement and the auto show, and consigning the bullies that hound her on DU to her "iggy" list.

Now Nadin had another strong showing in 2012--maybe not quite the breakthrough that 2011 was, but then who could ever top that? Therefore many of us were expecting that Our Gal would take home the DOTY again this year. So imagine my surprise--no, imagine my SHOCK--when Cave-dweller-in-Chief franksolich announced that Nadin came in SECOND in the DOTY voting! A TIE for second, at that! And she missed out--so it was claimed--she missed out on DUmmie of the Year by A SINGLE VOTE! I was gobsmacked! I was stuned!! This was my dismayed reaction over at Conservative Cave:

NO! NO! NO! NO! I DEMAND A RECOUNT! She's been jobed! She's been hossed! She's been disenfrenchfried! The BULLIES are behind this, I tell you! I'm going to get my riffle and the good rig and go hop on the trolly and go dylsexic! This is the typing point! The Rubio has been crossed! I'm going to the GA and we're going to OCUPPY CC!! Oh, and frank--welcome to the iggy list.

And so I told Nadin, and I tell her again now:

Nadin, you will always be #1 in my book, sweetcakes.

Well, perhaps in an attempt to make amends for this gross travesty of justice, the next award announced was "the Rob" (named after somebody named Robyn), given to the DUmmie "whose utter stupidity made one laugh and laugh and laugh all year long." Well, there could be no denying Nadin THIS award! Even Diebold couldn't steal this one away! So Nadin was given the Rob. But small consolation it was, when compared to missing out on the DOTY.

 Hiding her disappointment, a brave Nadin Brzezinski holds her lame "Rob" consolation prize.

So what are we going to do about this? Are we going to sit here and take it? NO! In the name of the Late Lamented Red Round One, I think we need to take up Nadin's cause and POLITICIZE HER PLIGHT! VOTER-VERIFIED DOTY BALLOTS! DU IT FOR ANDY!! If you can't tell, I'm steamed. This voting was RIGGED--and I'm not talking about the good rig, either.

But Nadin is not giving up! Oh no, not our Nadin! Trouper that she is, she is aiming to recapture her DOTY title in 2013. She is already off to a strong start, even in these waning days of 2012. So let us now take a brief sample of the wonder that is Nadin, in Baldshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, on behalf of PJ-Comix and Li'l Beaver wishing all of our readers a Happy DU Year, is in the [brackets]:

Here, after some DUmmie posts a photo that appeared in the New York Daily News, taken by a photographer that the DUmmie knows, Nadin--herself a pro, of course--offers this comment:

An extremely good photo. Tell him hi from a fellow photog...

[I'm sure that will mean a LOT to that New York Daily News photographer, coming from you, Nadin! Oh, and if you'll look at the name under the photo, you'll see that the first name is "Lauren," a "her" not a "him." Sigh. . . .]

Here Nadin shares her medical expertise on news that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been admitted to the hospital for a blood clot:

Standard, not surprising. ICU, just from the kind of monitoring required for at least a few hours.

[Whew! THANK you, Nadin, for sharing your expert knowledge! The rest of us were TOTALLY SURPRISED that Secretary of State Clinton would GO TO THE HOSPITAL for a blood clot! But now that you'd told us that such a thing is "standard" (I'm guessing that's the technical term), we can all rest easy.]

Here Nadin tells us to get our marching boots ready:

It's time. For some kind of action DC will listen to. Nope, voting ain't enough. Perhaps a national strike is in order. The ruling elites won't listen otherwise, am afraid.

[OK, people! You've heard it straight from Nadin! It's TIME! GENERAL STRIKE! MIC CHECK! OCCUPY EVERYWHERE! They won't listen to us otherwise, Nadin informs us. She WISHES she didn't know this stuff, but she does!]

And then here is a Nadin THREAD from last night:

PSA to San Diego County residents

[Nadin is authorized to issue Public Service Announcements, I don't know if you knew that.]

Going to Julian, chains required at Sunrise Valley Rd and 79 per CHP.  Driving east bound? Pine Valley EB -8, reports of icy conditions, and wheee! Vehicle spin outs.

[WHEEE!]

They are sending sand trucks. So driving to Az, be aware. Palomar mountain, snow down to 3500 foot level. Winter weather advisory in the back country has been lifted. Oh and it will be a cold night. Hey, I can put this here in one post, instead of the twitter feed...whee!!!!

[WHEE!!!!]

On the bright side, there should be some snow still on the ground in the morning.

[Let's hope.]

[Thank you, Nadin, for alerting all San Diego motorists by posting this PSA on DU in the middle of the night.]

[Now, whenever Nadin posts something in DUmmieland, one or more of The Bullies--SidDithers, zappaman, or pintobean--will be sure to show up. So the first response to appear this time--in fact, the only response Nadin got on this thread--is from the ever-reliable zappaman . . .]

Thanks for the info! What are you drinking? I am enjoying some Pyrat rum so I am a little tipsy too! Wheee!

[WHEEE! Hee! Hee!]

Well, all good things must come to an end, and so, on this final day of 2012, Nadin's reign as DUmmie of the Year draws to a close. But before she hands off the sash and the crown to . . . BanTheGOP??? . . . we'll ask Queen Nadin to take one last walk down the runway, as we all stand and salute her by singing . . .

HERE SHE IS, OUR MISS DUMMIELAND
Tune: "There She Is, Miss America"

Here she is, our Miss DUmmieland
Here she is, our Nadin
The dream of a million posts that she typed out by hand
Now comes true here on Skins's Island
For she has turned out to be
The queen of gross stupidity!


Here she is, our Miss DUmmieland
Here she is, our Nadin
With so many DUzies she took the DUmp by storm
With her condescending need to inform
And here she is
Miss Blogosphere, she is
DUmmie of the Year, she is
Our Miss DUmmieland!


3 Comments:

Blogger Skul said...

Don't blame me. I didn't vote for gNads for ANY award. The only votes she got were sympathy votes from caring Cavers. I don't care.
So call me a Nadist.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Corona said...

That's Nacist!

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My DOTY absentee ballot just arrived today. Know-it-all Nadin was robbed, I tell ya.' Take it from me, whee!

3:30 PM  

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