Wednesday, December 26, 2012

"I'll Be DUmb for Christmas": DUmmies Deal with Republican Relatives

It's a longstanding tradition here at DUmmie FUnnies: seeing how the DUmmies manage to annoy their relatives at family gatherings for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And this year is no different. We'll see how obnoxious the DUmmies can be here in this THREAD, "How Do You Deal With Republican Relatives During The Holidays?"

But before we do, let's sing this DUmmieland holiday classic!

Tune: "I'll Be Home for Christmas"

I'll be DUmb for Christmas,
You can count on me;
I'll have polls on gun control--
And the President's on TV!

Christmas Eve you'll hear me
Spout my left-wing memes;
I'll be DUmb for Christmas
And haunt you in your dreams. . . .

So with that, let us now travel to Skins's Island of Misfit Annoys, in Rude-self the Red-faced Haranguer Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, who had both the Christ Mass and a pleasant family gathering yesterday, is in the [brackets]:

How Do You Deal With Republican Relatives During The Holidays?

[Stay Underground. Don't leave the basement. Your relatives will be grateful, believe me.]

so far today, grandpa has gone on and on . . . about President Obama . . . and I can sense it will only get worse from both grandparents later on when some of my more liberal relatives arrive.

[Well, look, when your fellow libs arrive, you can all gang up on grumpy gramps and give him grief. It'll be FUn!]

I'm thinking I should print out a picture of President Obama and the Electoral Map, so anytime they want to bring something up, I can just hold up both as a reminder who won the election.  I can make my point without saying a word!

[Good thinking! That'll make for a pleasant evening, lighten the mood. How about wearing an Obama-Biden bumper sticker on your forehead? Maybe bring some campaign buttons for stocking stuffers?]

I've got a RW sister-in-law. . . . Luckily, she lives 2000 miles away. . . .

[I wonder why?]

I'll be faced with that tomorrow morning at the family gathering with at least 2 teabaggers. (Life members of the NRA, doncha know). With all the family there, I have decided to avoid major confrontation, and bring just one zinger with me, to be inserted at the opportune moment, to wit: The NRA represents less than 2% of the US population, and they certainly don't speak for me.

[Oh, man, BURN! That'll show them! Now if you could only come up with a zinger about the Second Amendment, which represents one of the top ten rights guaranteed in the U.S. Constitution.]

Best IMO is to ignore them if you can, you'll never change their mind. Willful ignorance is a hard thing to change. . . .

you are so right!! For them: Ignorance is strength!

Hello, how are you? And then I ignore them. No matter what they say, I ignore it.

[And the DUmmies can't even see the irony in this.]

All but one of the fifteen relatives coming tomorrow know not to bring up the subject. There is one elderly woman that will possibly try but we three Democrats will be on her like white on rice before it goes anywhere.

[We three progs of disorient are . . .]

you can say: Please refrain from discussing politics or you can leave or I will.

[They will say: You will leave? Promise?]

Share happy things you have in common.

[Compare nose piercings. Talk about what you did for winter solstice. Show photos of your marijuana garden. You know, just ordinary chit-chat.]

Cut them some slack in their old age. Remember, they're pretty much irrelevant any more.

[Soon the old geezers will be facing those Obamacare death panels, so I wouldn't waste much time on them.]


[That's the holiday spirit, DUmmie gopiscrap!]

My wife anfd I haven't talked with her side of the family since 1980..they were all Reagan nuts and we got in a big fight. . . .

[Why am I not surprised? Perhaps your "F*** THAT EVIL SCUM RAY-GUN!" did not exactly set a cheery tone for the conversation.]

Who was at fault? You sound very - loud.


I told them I would just as soon see you dead, than be a republican. . . .

[Well, who could be offended at that? No, DUmmie gopiscrap, you sound pretty mild and even-tempered to me.]

There are no R's in my family so I don't have to deal with any.

[R'S "R" NOT US]

You won't change your grandparents' minds, but you can at least poke fun at them.

[Play little pranks on them, like hiding the Christmas presents they opened and then, when they can't find them, saying they must have misplaced them. Great FUn! Serves 'em right for being Rethuglican!]

If you can find the answer to your question, you should get the Nobel prize for psychology!

[If you would just stick to pleasant Christmas stuff, I'd give you the Noel Peace Prize.]

The trick is to chat the young people up with Liberal ideas and make good natured fun of the Right Wing Idiot.

[Turn the young skulls full of mush into card-carrying Obama Youth!]


Take a tip from my grandson,...and whenever someone says something that you think is stupid just say "Whatever!" and let it go,,say it over and over!! WHATEVER...and shrug your shoulders as you do.


I'm gonna pretend to be sh*tfaced. . . .

[Probably not much of a stretch.]

Minimal contact.

[Stand outside on the patio and pretend you're a snowman. Gramps may have a scarf and hat you can borrow.]

Why would you react with an Electoral map? I avoid people that do things like that - from the left and right - at family holiday gatherings. . . . I follow an old rule. When you lose, say little. When you win, say even less.

[DUmmie Zax2me, if you will now open up your Christmas present. . . . Yes, that one right there, in the Li'l Beaver wrapping. . . . Open it up, and you will find. . . . Why, it's a Kewpie Doll! Congratulations!]

I just can't relate, my family get-togethers look like a Democratic precinct committee meeting. When we start talking politics, it's to viciously trash Republicans, and is a group effort.

[That says "Christmas" to me!]

I've been alone for xmess for many years now. You eventually get used to it, and learn to actually like it, because you don't have all those mindless people around. Think of it. You don't have to deal with the shopping crowds, or the meals with irate relatives. You can sit home in your underwear, get bombed out of your mind, and do whatever you like.

[A Party of One!]

you could just 'mic check' your Grandpa

[Occupy Grandpa's House!]

I shout obscenities at them out the window while they wave their penises at traffic. Ah x-mas, that special time of year.

[It's those Christmas traditions that make it so special.]


Anonymous The JUDGE said...

This post bring to mind a mental picture of Troglatwit, The Worthless Son of a Worthless Fucking Bastard, chugging down one fifth of Old Crow after another while screaming Anti-American BS in his basement.

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

Obama is the best president ever. Deal with it

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Rodri said...

Spanish people vote Barack Obama the second best president of the USA

6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spain is clearly racist for not voting Obama the best president in the USA.

Why do you promote the opinion of racists Rodri?

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Probably because Rodri IS a racist.

6:07 PM  
Anonymous The Phantom Stranger said...

Evidently Rodri is related to the Troglaman. Like the Troglaman, Rodri is hopelessly out of touch with reality and it is incapable of dealing with it.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right on Rodri!

Obama is the greatest African-American president this country has ever had. So far, by far.

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 6:50 PM, let's presume that you're not being sarcastic with your remark.

Now let's follow the logic. He's the greatest African-American president this country has ever had. He's also the only African-American president this country has ever had. Which then makes him also the worst African-American president this country has ever had.

If that's what you meant then I apologize for needing to re-state it so bluntly.

9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 9:28 PM, it's Anonymous 6:50 pm here. Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I was curious to see if the new troll would get it. By the way, doesn't this new troll suck balls? so thin-skinned and whiny. Troglman is The Most Interesting Man In The World compared to this crybaby. Come back trog!

9:22 AM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 9:28 PM, it's Anonymous 6:50 pm here. Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I was curious to see if the new troll would get it. By the way, doesn't this new troll suck balls? so thin-skinned and whiny. Troglman is The Most Interesting Man In The World compared to this crybaby. Come back trog!

Oh HELL NO...Rodri is a jackass but Troglafuck is far worse.

12:01 PM  
Blogger chenlina said...

ray ban sunglasses outlet
cheap jordans
lululemon sale
burberry sale
ray ban sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
mulberry handbags
michael kors
chanel outlet online
michael kors outlet
gucci handbags
michael kors
ghd flat iron
oakley sunglasses wholesale
polo outlet
ray bans
celine bags
burberry outlet online
michael kors outlet online
gucci belt
polo outlet
gucci outlet online
jordan 3 powder blue
louis vuitton outlet
mont blanc pens
kate spade
kate spade outlet online
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton
chanel outlet online
louis vuitton outlet
coach factory outlet
tory burch handbags
michael kors uk
christian louboutin outlet
ray ban glasses
louis vuitton

10:50 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 09.17
nike air max, gucci handbags, red bottom shoes, michael kors handbags, ugg boots clearance, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton outlet online, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton, cheap oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet online, burberry outlet online, ray ban outlet, louis vuitton handbags, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, prada handbags, ugg australia, michael kors outlet, replica watches, christian louboutin outlet, ugg outlet, christian louboutin, polo ralph lauren, louis vuitton outlet, cheap ugg boots outlet, oakley sunglasses, oakley vault, burberry outlet online, christian louboutin shoes, nike air max, tiffany jewelry, prada outlet, cheap ugg boots, michael kors outlet online sale, replica watches, nike free, michael kors outlet online, longchamp outlet online, longchamp handbags, tiffany and co, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet store, nike outlet, jordan shoes

3:23 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

michael kors uk, michael kors outlet online, ray ban uk, scarpe hogan, ray ban pas cher, lacoste pas cher, coach purses, ralph lauren pas cher, burberry pas cher, lululemon outlet online, hollister, hermes pas cher, nike roshe run, coach outlet, nike blazer pas cher, tn pas cher, longchamp, hollister uk, new balance pas cher, louboutin, chanel handbags, kate spade outlet, michael kors, vans pas cher, north face, oakley pas cher, true religion outlet, true religion outlet, air jordan, nike air max, north face pas cher, longchamp pas cher, true religion jeans, nike free pas cher, true religion, air max pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, timberland pas cher, kate spade outlet online, guess pas cher, coach outlet, converse pas cher, coach outlet store online, michael kors canada, nike air force

3:27 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

nike free, nike air max, reebok shoes, ghd, wedding dresses, celine handbags, beats headphones, nfl jerseys, air max, jimmy choo shoes, mac cosmetics, hollister, mcm handbags, north face jackets, abercrombie and fitch, vans outlet, baseball bats, mont blanc pens, asics shoes, nike air max, ralph lauren uk, longchamp, giuseppe zanotti, p90x workout, nike trainers, insanity workout, instyler ionic styler, soccer jerseys, lululemon outlet, abercrombie and fitch, north face jackets, herve leger, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, birkin bag, nike roshe, mulberry uk, nike air huarache, chi flat iron, hollister clothing store, nike roshe, bottega veneta, soccer shoes, babyliss, new balance outlet

3:30 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

air max, pandora uk, coach outlet, ugg soldes, replica watches, toms outlet, vans, ray ban, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, converse, supra shoes, karen millen, hollister canada, marc jacobs handbags, louis vuitton pas cher, doke gabbana outlet, ugg boots, links of london uk, swarovski jewelry, ugg, iphone case, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet online, thomas sabo uk, louis vuitton uk, timberland boots, pandora jewelry, juicy couture, uggs canada, converse shoes, louboutin, swarovski uk, oakley, sac lancel, montre femme, louis vuitton canada, abercrombie, ralph lauren, sac louis vuitton, gucci, michael kors handbags, juicy couture outlet, ugg, pandora charms, wedding dress
ninest123 09.17

3:33 AM  
Blogger حسام داود said...

شركة تنظيف بالرياض
شركة تنظيف فلل بالرياض
شركة تنظيف شقق بالرياض
شركة تنظيف مجالس بالرياض
شركة تنظيف خزنات بالرياض
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالرياض
شركة تخزين اثاث بالرياض
شركة تسليك مجارى بالرياض
شركة رش مبيدات بالرياض
شركة نظافه بالرياض
شركة تنظيف منازل بالرياض

1:36 PM  
Blogger 柯云 said...

louis vuitton
ugg outlet
ugg australia outlet
ugg clearance outlet
celine bags
louis vuitton purses
michael kors outlet online sale
hollister uk
canada goose
chanel bags
michael kors
discount jordans
louis vuitton handbags
michaek kors outlet
true religion
louis vuitton bags
canada goose outlet
pandora jewelry
michael kors outlet
abercrombie and fitch
kids lebron shoes
nike running shoes for men
ugg boots
north face jackets
louis vuitton purses
gucci handbags
the north face jackets
uggs outlet
adidas original trainers
cheap jordans
michael kors outlet online
air max 95
nike free 5.0
rolex watches
uggs for sale
nike air max uk
coach factory outlet
ugg outlet

8:12 PM  
Blogger mmjiaxin said...

cheap oakley sunglasses
kobe basketball shoes
air jordan
Cheap Jerseys Online
oakley vault
kobe shoes,kobe zoom,nike zoom kobe
oakley store online
ugg boots uk
tiffany and co jewelry
michael kors outlet
christian louboutin outlet
michael kors outlet
toms outlet store
Michael Kors Outlet Store
air huarache shoes
ugg outlet
ralph lauren online,cheap ralph lauren
nike zoom kobe

8:50 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home