Monday, November 19, 2012

No Wonder. It's a Bimbo Eruption!


The Obama Economy continues apace. Another business shutting down. Thousands of jobs lost. More tax revenue lost. Ho-hum.

But no Ho-Hos. Or Ding-Dongs. Or Twinkies. Or Wonder Bread. Hostess is going out of business. And even the DUmmies are having to adjust, as we see in this BREAD THREAD by DUmmie boston bean, "Do not laugh, I beg of you do not laugh!" Then we'll also look at this THREAD, "Here is what is going to happen to Twinkies."

So let us push our carts up and down the aisles of DUmmieland, in search of Dead Bread Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--reminding the DUmmies, "YOU OWN IT!"--is in the [bracket] sandwich:

Do not laugh, I beg of you do not laugh!

[Hey, this is the DUmmie FUnnies! We're looking at you DUmmies. How can we NOT laugh?]

I'm a pretty strong feminist, let me preface this story with that fact!

[OK, you've presented your prog credentials, DUmmie boston bean. Please continue.]

I have been having quite a bit of a hard time in thinking I may lose my beloved Wonder Bread, you know with Hostess closing and all.

[The striking union held their ground, that's the important thing. So 18,500 workers will now be out of a job. So there will be that much less tax revenue coming into the treasury. So DUmmie boston bean will no longer have her beloved Wonder Bread. These are the sacrifices we must make TO TELL IT TO THE MAN!!!!]

Well, hubby went grocery shopping today and the stores were picked clean of Wonder Bread, Twinkies, Donettes, everything Hostess.

[No Wonder.]

Holy Cow!

[Holy Sacred Cow, Big Labor!]

He went out to another store to see if he could find a loaf of Wonder Bread, and a couple of other things we needed!!!!!

[Now with multi-exclamation marks!!!!!]

And I told him, try to find a replacement if you can't find the Wonder Bread.

[How about air-filled wallpaper paste?]

Now, I'm really beginning to get really concerned I may have consumed my last slice of Wonder Bread!

[The Wonder Years are over. Wonder Bread is toast. What is the point of going on? I mean, really.]

I'm sorry to have been bothering you all with my fear over this loss, but I really have been fretting about the loss of this bread. I know, please don't tell me how bad it is for me. I don't care. I like the bread and have been bred on Wonder Bread!

[New York Post headline: BROAD BRED ON BAD BREAD UP TO HEAD WITH DREAD.]

Grilled cheese sandwiches will not be the same without my favorite Wonder Bread!

[Try grilling the cheese without the bread. Who knows, you may like it.]

So anyhow, hubby gets home from the grocery store. . . . He says the second store was out of Wonder Bread too, and all other hostess products. People must be stock piling the stuff.

[Nadin Brzezinski. Her fingerprints are all over this. Fifteen pallets for her fallout shelter, I bet.]

But anyhow, he whips out . . .

[Careful . . .]

But anyhow, he whips out this loaf of bread:


[It's a Bimbo eruption!]

I'm gonna give it a try, because I don't have another choice, but DAYUM! Did they have to name it BIMBO!?

[What's in a name? That which we call a Bimbo, by any other name would sell as wheat.]

[Her fellow DUmmies now commiserate with DUmmie boston bean . . .]

You know, you are what you eat.

[And you guys have been eating DUmmi Bears.]

pronounced Beembo.

[pronounced DUm-mee.]

Just tried a bit of it, and it wasn't bad.

[Let's get DUmmie boston bean to try it! She'll eat anything!]

We have Bimbo here in the NW. . . .

[Bill Clinton is on his way!]

I tried not to laugh. I swear I did. It wasn't so much the name of the bread, but the fact your husband bought it.

[Yeah, boston bean, I thought you said you were a strong feminist! What are you doing having your husband buying things for you? Aren't you an independent woman? Why do you even HAVE a husband?? Who needs 'em?]

I always thought it should be "Bimba" anyway, "Bimbo" should be for boys.

[It's only boy bimbos for benburch.]

If you absolutely must have white balloon bread that makes your teeth squeak, Bimbo bread is great stuff.

[Disgustibus non est disputandum.]

It's made by a Mexican company, Grupo Bimbo. . . .

[I, for one, welcome our new Mexican ovenlords.]

a national brand like Hostess is likely not going away for long. . . . it will probably outlive us all.

[You may be right. I've still got a Twinkie I bought back in 1967.]

I hear that Hostess products have deteriorated over the years.

[Not my Twinkie! Still soft and golden!]

Motto: "Bimbo, for the breast in bed". . . .

[Gropo Bimbo.]

The company is headquartered in Mexico. Bimbo doesn't mean the same thing there as in English. . . . Pretty soon we'll all be eating pan Bimbo.

[As opposed to Pan American.]

Damned Americans. They think English is the only language and everything is in English.

[Pan American!]

Kind of like when Pizza Hut sold their P'zone in Italy and people read it as "pezon" which means nipple.

[They sold Pizza Hut IN ITALY?? Why??]

In any case watch for Bimbo brand bread in your supermarket.

[BLAND BREAD BRAND TO EXPAND.]

To me bread is bread. I use WalMart Great Value bread. . . .

[WalMart?? You shop at WALMART?? Turn in your Prog Card immediately!! Prepare for tombstoning!]

I know your serious about the issue but kind of put in in prospective. There are people who are starving.

[Like those union strikers who just bit the brand that fed them.]

you can put some Olive Oil on each side. . . . Hmmm good.

[A little Extra Virgin with your Bimbo. . . . Yumm!]

I think their Bimbo is different from our bimbo. Er . . . . that bimbo. I mean Bimbo. The bread Bimbo, not the bimbo bimbo. Ya know?

[Bimbo erudition.]

Bimbo bakeries most likely to buy Hostess!

[BIMBO TO BUY BANNED BRAND PLANNED?]

I always wondered if it was actually bread. . . . I just thought that's how it got its name: Wonder (if it's) Bread.

[They tried "I Can't Believe It's Bread," but that didn't sell too well.]

it is bread, it's just batter whipped, instead of dough.

[Battered white bread syndrome.]

Well the little bear is cute.

[Tom Vilsack. . . Paging Mr. Tom Vilsack. . . .]

 


All bread is bad.

[All generalizations are bad. People who make them should all be shot.]

I havent eaten bread in 10 years.

[If you've been eating Wonder Bread all that time, I agree.]

I think it has too much gluten which is a kind of glue.

[Glutenous maximus.]

Because my mom swore by it, I've always made all my French toast and bread puddin with Wonder Bread.

[If you made my French toast with Wonder Bread, I'd be swearing, too.]

I don't want to see the "Hostess Bimbo" mascot.

[Her catchphrase: "Me love you long time!"]

Heck even the raccoons wouldn't mess with that Wonder "solidified chemtrail in a bag".

[PJ tried to get some Wonder Bread for Li'l Beaver once. Had a BOGO coupon. Li'l Beaver set a cigar to it and it went up in a puff of smoke.]

 


Maybe bimbo can buy out Hostess and re-launch their bread as Wonder-Bimbo.

[Sandra Fluke could get a job as their mascot.]

I'd rather be around a bimbo than a grumpy or snarky or know-it-all or Republican any day of the week.

[Imagine if they had "Rethuglican Bread"!! Ewww!!]

 


sweets lovers across the nation hung their heads in sorrow on a dark Friday yesterday as Hostess announced they would cease making their line of products, which include the iconic Twinkies brand, because of the Bakers Union Strike.

[The union spoke truth to power and WON! They held out and REFUSED to give an inch! Woo-hoo! Of course, they now have no jobs to come back to, but that's beside the point.]

But now as the brand heads towards liquidating and selling off their assets, a Mexican company may be angling to resurrect the golden Twinkies. . . . Mexico’s Grupo Bimbo may hold the inside track.

[Bimbo Bakery to the rescue!]

So is this the narrative that CorpMedia is using? . . . That a strike brought down Hostess?

[Hmmm. . . . Difficulty. . . . The union goes on strike, threatening the ability of the company to produce its goods. . . . The union succeeds. . . . The company folds. . . . But now, now, we don't want to blame the union, do we? What's a dutiful prog to do??]

The union can still be used to save this situation for the workers. . . . The union could still function as the organizing body of a bakery worker cooperative. . . . If they put their union's money and their own money together (all of them), they might just have enough to garner external support to buy up what they need to get started. . . . It sounds like a pipe dream, but it's not.

[A workers' cooperative! Yeah, that's the ticket! WHEEEE!!! C'mon, kids, let's put on a SHOW!!!!]

Frankly, a little government investment . . . could really help make this happen.

[Yes, a government bailout! Invest in America's snack food infrastructure! Why, even better--a government takeover! General Hostess! Electric Twinkies! Solyndra Cakes! Obambo Bread!!]

We should organize the Bimbos.

[You know, you're right. We need a Bimbo Czar . . .]

 

18 Comments:

Blogger tsiya said...

Why not?

The DUMBOS already are organized!

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Liptonius said...

Grupo Bimbo has another thing going for it besides size (largest bread making operation in the world).

If Twinkies and such are made in Mexico, the tariffs that make sugar so expensive in this country will not be a factor in the bottom line.

Kind of poetic, isn't it?

Protectionist tariffs and overpriced labor 'offshoring' an American Icon to a foreign country...

Bain? Anyone from Bain care to comment?

4:54 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"The Obama Economy continues apace. Another business shutting down. Thousands of jobs lost. More tax revenue lost. Ho-hum." PJinc

"Even as it blamed unions for the bankruptcy and the 18,500 job losses that will ensue, Hostess already gave its executives pay raises earlier this year. The salary of the company’s chief executive tripled from $750,000 to roughly $2.5 million, and at least nine other executives received pay raises ranging from $90,000 to $400,000. Those raises came just months after Hostess originally filed for bankruptcy earlier this year."

Ho-hum

1:14 AM  
Blogger Ogrrre said...

Here's a hint you worthless parasites: flour, eggs, sugar, yeast, oil, and heat. Bake your own damned bread. And, I thought you baby commies were all against supporting corporations. IBC, the owner of Hostess, is Interstate Brands CORPORATION.
It's just like these economic idiots: support the parasites killing the host, then bitch at the host for dying. You idiots need to stop and think a moment: the Teamsters Union crossed the Baker's Union picketline. When the Teamsters tells another union they're full of shit, the other union might ought to pay attention.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm wasn't/isn't Hostess partially owned by a prominent liberal? Tim Collins? that's weird I thought they hated capitalism.

ohh yea, unless it suits them.

6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tricky Dick Gephardt was part of the ownership as well.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous envisio said...

Anonymous said...
that's weird I thought they hated capitalism.ohh yea, unless it suits them.---6:16 PM
They do hate capitalism. And they prove it by waking up in the morning,
putting on their GAP clothes and TIMBERLAND backpack,
checking FACEBOOK and TWaTTER on their iPhone and then again on their DELL laptop,
get into their TOYOTA prius beansprout car,
drive to an anti-capitalist/occupy rally stopping at MCDONALDS and then STARBUCKS,
using their VISA debit card to pay for all this,
then stopping at WALGREENS to buy some posterboard to make an anti-capitalist sign, tweeting, twatting, spacebooking and myfacing the entire time,
then arriving at the rally to walk around and sell Giaha healing beads that they made to sell for profit at their anti-capitalist rally,
use said money to buy a rally t-shirt that someone was selling for profit,
then after completely trashing said venue with thousands of plastic water bottles and trash they go home and order pizza to sit and talk about how much they resemble Che Guevera and hate capitalism..

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I work at a warehouse and in my section we cross-dock bread and bakery products. Brand name like Colonial, Arnold, Thomas's, Sunbeam, Earth Grains, and Sara Lee, are all owned by Bimbo Bakeries USA. Bimbo has been buying these brands as they got into financial trouble because of Unions! Now the good news, Bimbo is not Union friendly and they are frog- walking them out the door. I like Bimbo Bread!

3:05 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"...they go home and order pizza to sit and talk about how much they resemble Che Guevera and hate capitalism." flatscreen

Are you serious? You're a fucking Kreskin! Why? Because this is EXACTLY what I do while sitting around with family eating take-out pizza...brag about how we resemble Che Guevera (I, troglaman, look just like him...hence my luck with the ladies).

Sure we do.

I know it's hard to believe, flatscreen, but libs aren't sitting around, ordering pizza and talking about Che Guevera. The fact you think so...makes you a loon.

Like I said earlier, you stupid shits do the heavy lifting for us. You relentlessly provide proof positive that you're all nuts. Keep it up...

Young woman are sluts if they want birth control.

47% of America are takers.

Latinos should self-deport or keep their naturalization papers handy, or be prepared to go to jail.

Lowering taxes on the 1%, deregulating business, and destroying unions will help the middle class.

Any woman impregnated by a rapist or a relative will be prosecuted for having an abortion.

THIS is why you lost. And you will continue to lose no matter how hard you hold these beliefs. Most people don't think this way.

I know you don't think so. You think if only people understood, if only people were smarter, if only the message was better finessed, you'd be getting through to them.

But these positions will never be popular, you fucking jackasses. How can you not see that? The longer you hold them, the more irrelevant you'll become. Trust me.

My work here is done. I sincerely thank you all for taking the time over the years to talk with me. I mean that, I truly do. What an education. It's been a blast.

Take care, folks. And keep working on that Rapture Machine.

12:47 AM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

My work here is done. I sincerely thank you all for taking the time over the years to talk with me. I mean that, I truly do. What an education. It's been a blast. - Troglafuck the lying racist fucked up fucking fuckwad.

Whataya gonna do fuckwad - blow what little brains you have out with a shotgun (I hope)?

FOAD Troglafuck, you lying racist fucked up fucking fuckwad.

3:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We should thank troglaman for providing so many examples of his failure to comprehend reality in a single post. Shows of colossal ignorance that profound are rare.

I'm in awe of your enormous ineptitude.

5:33 PM  
Anonymous The Phantom Stranger said...

Troglaman is like the rest of the Moonbats. It can only echo the lies and bullshit of Moonbat Groupthink. That is why it will suffer the most when the economy collapses because it will not and cannot comprehend reality.

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you serious? You're a fucking Kreskin! Why? Because this is EXACTLY what I do while sitting around with family eating take-out pizza...brag about how we resemble Che Guevera (I, troglaman, look just like him...hence my luck with the ladies).

Sure we do.

I know it's hard to believe, flatscreen, but libs aren't sitting around, ordering pizza and talking about Che Guevera. The fact you think so...makes you a loon.

Che is dead. Get over it. You're right. You're not ordering pizza because that would mean you would have to pay for it, ergo you would have to have a job and actually WORK for it. No, you're probably mooching, or stealing it, from someone else who worked and paid for it. That's what libs do!

Like I said earlier, you stupid shits do the heavy lifting for us. You relentlessly provide proof positive that you're all nuts.
Indeed. We do the work while you, the lazy, whining Sloth Class Of Takers, sit around and shirk. It's the nature of things. CORRECTION: We relentlessly provide proof positive that we HAVE nuts. They're called "CAJONES"; something you wouldn't know anything about.

Keep it up...
Again, something you wouldn't know anything about.

Young woman are sluts if they want birth control.
No, just sluts want birth control. Just ask Sandra Flucke.

47% of America are takers.
I believe that number is larger coinciding with the percentage that voted for O'bama.

Latinos should self-deport or keep their naturalization papers handy, or be prepared to go to jail.
No, ILLEGAL ALIENS — i.e. THOSE WHO BREAK THE IMMIGRATION LAWS — should self-deport. And they're not necessarily all Latinos, by the way.

Lowering taxes on the 1%, deregulating business, and destroying unions will help the middle class.
NO DUH.

Any woman impregnated by a rapist or a relative will be prosecuted for having an abortion.
Relating a personal experience? You certainly seem to know much about this.

THIS is why you lost. And you will continue to lose no matter how hard you hold these beliefs. Most people don't think this way.
The point is we didn't 'lose'. You and the country did. If you really think adding another four hellacious years of O'bama is a "win", or a "victory", then you're absolutely correct that most people don't think this way. Only the deluded and deranged do.

I know you don't think so. You think if only people understood, if only people were smarter, if only the message was better finessed, you'd be getting through to them.
It just goes to show that you can't beat Santa O'bama-claus at his own game when he's handing out the goodies and freebies to the New Plantation™. How's that free Obamafone workin' for ya, prole?

But these positions will never be popular, you fucking jackasses. How can you not see that? The longer you hold them, the more irrelevant you'll become. Trust me.
How can you not see that you're only indicting yourself here? "Trust me", says the dung beetle as he clings to what he cherishes.

My work here is done. I sincerely thank you all for taking the time over the years to talk with me. I mean that, I truly do. What an education. It's been a blast.
"Work"? I bet that was painful for you even to type that word. O'bama has officially struck "Work" from the Peoples Lexicon, as we all know that is the mandate sent to him from his loyal, lazy followers. More accurately for you would be "What education?". I can empathize with those who spent countless hours confabulating with you; wasted hours of their lives they'll never get back.

Take care, folks. And keep working on that Rapture Machine.
A dog will always return to its vomit. You'll be back. And keep working on that Socialist Experiment.

1:38 AM  
Anonymous The ULTIMATE Man said...

I think Anonymous 1:38 AM has done an great job showing what a worthless fucking slimeball Troglafuck is.

FOAD Troglafuck, you lying racist fucked up fucking fuckwad.

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. No one can ever lose as many jobs as GWBush did. He was number one at job lose for US Workers!!

8:16 PM  
Anonymous The JUDGE said...

An Anonymous Moonbat said...

LOL. No one can ever lose as many jobs as GWBush did. He was number one at job lose for US Workers!!


Bullshit. There are more people out of work now than four years ago and that number is going to rise.

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Went to the grocer today and it is almost scary how empty the bread section was. I would bet less than 10% of the shelves had anything on them. Hostess had a huge market share (at least around here) and it's going to be a long time before the other bakers take up the slack.

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous 8:16pm

George W Bush: 4.7% unemployment.

that is...

Until 2006, when the Democrats took over congress.

10:28 PM  

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