Teenage DUmmie Redstate Bluegirl sez: "This is...FUN!"
The DUmmies are always eager to replenish their ranks with young skulls full of mush, and it looks like they have found one in the person of teenage DUmmie Redstate Bluegirl. DUmmie Redstate Bluegirl is 15 years old, and she recently joined the denizens of the DUmp. In just one week and 128 posts, Redstate Bluegirl has become thoroughly ADDICTED. The Bluegirl has been HOOKED! So ecstatic is she about being part of the Reality-Based Community®, she whoops and hollers, cheerily exclaiming, in this THREAD, "This is...FUN!"
DUmmie Redstate Bluegirl probably thinks dermabrasion for her zits is fun, too. Most girls her age enjoy hanging out at the mall and texting their friends. This one likes to hang out with grayhaired ponytailed leftover hippies, Wiccan lesbian priestesses, and 40-year-old insurgents. Go figure.
So let us prepare for a dose of youthful but misguided enthusiasm, in Redstate Bluegirl Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent Charles Henrickson, whose 16-year-old daughter keeps him current on the world of teenage girldom, is in the [brackets]:
[WHEEEEEE!!! Hanging out with middle-aged socialists! So sick! Luvin' it!!]
I've been here ONE WEEK and already have 127 (now 128!) posts.
[Piker. Most girls can do 127 TEXTS per HOUR.]
I LOVE THIS PLACE!
[I LOVE WHEN THE ORTHODONTIST TIGHTENS MY BRACES UBERTIGHT!]
[It's so sweet I've got, like, DUmmieland Diabetes!]
In 7 days it's become my #1 hobby!
[Stamp collecting is so 2011.]
(I say "hobby" because I'm 15 I can't vote yet but this place is FIRING ME UP!!!)
[Fifteen candles . . . all EN FUEGO!]
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU ALL!!!!!
[We so excited!!]
[Veterans of the DUmp now welcome the n00bette . . .]
Glad to see the young folks getting involved. . . . But don't forget to do your homework.
[Be sure to get with your team members and complete that oral history assignment for LBGT Studies.]
[Redstate Bluegirl replies . . .]
Taking a break from my homework to thank you personally, 'sister! I have read several posts of yours, and you are clearly IMHO a person who thinks--and thinks deeply--before posting.
[A rare thing in the DUmp.]
Your arguments (even the rare ones I disagree with) are always intelligently presented. I hope you don't feel intellectually raped, but I've already identified you as my mentor!
[Redstate Bluegirl wants to intellectually rape her mentor, DUmmie babylonsister. DUmmie babylonsister responds . . .]
Where the heck did you get the expression 'intelluctually raped'? . . . please don't consider the word 'rape' as a good descriptor.
[But it's not "rape-rape."]
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you in any way, shape or form. I consider you to be ubercool!
[DUmmieland, DUmmieland, uber alles!]
Oh, man-! Does this mean I can't %@#&-in' curse on your threads?
[Young ears may not be ready for DUmmiespeak.]
What the f*** are you talking about??? Profane me! Oh yeah baby, profane me HARD!
[Not to worry! Redstate Bluegirl is already cussin' up a Bluegirl streak!]
You sure don't write like any teenager I know. . . .
[Mmmm, you're right. She hasn't even used one "like" yet. . . . I wonder. . . .]
I know teenagers
Teenagers are friends of mine
Bluegirl, you ___________
[Bluegirl, you are . . . REALLY A 45-YEAR OLD LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
This is failry disturbing. It's completely inappropriate to engage adults in this manner when you are a child.
[But not if you're a . . .]
Welcome to DU!
["Redstate Bluegirl" responds with a simple *, which "she" does on several dozen posts here in this thread, which is a quick way to drive up one's post count. She quickly goes from 128 to 192 posts in this way. We moles have our methods.]
Great for you to join us. My son is 16. . . .
[DUmmie stevenumbers cannot get a date for himself, but he's at least trying to set something up for his son. Wait till the son finds out that "Redstate Bluegirl" is really a Freeperville Trollguy.]
You go girl!!
Take up volleyball or something. This place is a pit.
[DUmmie alcibiades_mystery, you win today's Kewpie Doll for this bit of sage wisdom! Congratulations!]
I love your name - quite clever.
[DUmmie rurallib likes the name "Redstate Bluegirl." Redstate Bluegirl replies . . .]
Hey, Born in Missouri, now in Texas. What's a poor Lutheran girl to do???
["LUTHERAN" girl?? Whoops! I just gave away my secret mole identity! Yes, I confess, **I**, Charles Henrickson, a Lutheran--I am "Redstate Bluegirl"! Oh well, it was FUn while it lasted!]
Welcome to DU. Glad you're having fun.
[Wait! A welcome from Head DUmmie Skinner himself! He must not have caught on! Ha ha! That Skinner! He so DUmb! Let's see if I can keep him going . . .]
Thank you Sir. I already know you're the Big Cheese here. (This will not prevent me from disagreeing with you when I, in fact, DISAGREE with you!)
[That's it! Just the right mix of deference and defiance! He's sure to buy it! Hee! Hee!]
How did you find us, Redstate Blugirl?
[Oh oh, tough question from someone in the crowd. Better come up with an answer, quick. Um, um . . .]
My Dad. He was a staunch Republican until the 2000 election was very obviously stolen. He's been a Dem ever since, and he & I & mom will be canvassing for Obama come the fall.
[Whew! That was close! They're still not on to me.]
Welcome to DU and you should be grounded for chatting with strange men on the internet.
[I **AM** a strange man, you DUmmie! If you only knew!]
Age aside, I remember feeling the same way for my first 128 posts!
[Post #129, though--what a bummer!]
This is a good place. Pull up a chair, kick off your shoes, and stay awhile.
[Thanx! I think I will. Ha, you guys still think I'm a 15-year-old Democrat girl! Meanwhile, I will start work on my autobiography: "I WAS A TEENAGE DUMMIE."]
you are adorable, redstate bluegirl.
[Aww, that's so sweet of you!]
stay, relax, post.
[I be chillaxin'. It's all good.]
hugs to you, honey.