Thursday, August 25, 2011

Know-it-all Nadin, the Master of Disaster, takes on quakes



It was jokes like the one in the graphic above that got nadinbrzezinski going this time. You see, the West Coast DUmmies were making fun of the East Coast DUmmies for getting all panicky over an earthquake that the Westies considered a tiny tremor. But nadinbrzezzzzsnnnnski, herself a West Coaster, didn't like that. Know-it-all Nadin knows earthquakes, and she knows how serious they can be. So Nadin posted several threads lecturing everyone on these things (although it doesn't take much for her to reach that tipping point), including this THREAD, "Several things about this quake, and why we west coasters should NOT make fun," and this THREAD, "While people make fun of the quake..." and this THREAD, "Just one note for the East Coast and those making light of this."

Oh, Nadin, what would we do without you? We rely on you for so much. You truly are the Master of Disaster. And so, before we get to the threads and the comments, I offer this musical salute:

OUR KNOW-IT-ALL, WHERE ARE YOU?
Tune: "Car 54, Where Are You?"

There's an earthquake in the east
It could spread from coast to coast
There's a hurricane in harbor
Pretty soon we'll all be toast
Fukushima has a leak
It'll be here in a week--
Our Know-it-all, where are you?

And now to Nadin's warnings, in Threat Level Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Nadin can give PJ advice on couponing, is in the [brackets]:

Several things about this quake, and why we west coasters should NOT make fun

[But can we make fun of YOU, Nadin?]

1.- The SUBSTRATE is ancient rock... so it rings like the proverbial bell... and it is felt quite further away from the epicenter than it would in places like San Diego... which is far much newer, aka younger rock.

[Classic rock--like ringin' a bell--in the east, punk rock in the west.]

2.- The west coast has this thing called Building Codes... we more or less build for this sh*t and for the most part can laugh it up when it is a six pointer...

[Building codes--I had never heard of that before, Nadin! Thanx for the idea!]

3.- This is quite the new thing for a lot of folks in the East coast.

[Those poor, backward people. Let's have pity on them, not mock them, shall we?]

Realize that there are a few things that can get affected even with a six pointer, even in San Diego... water mains come to mind. So for the next few days... consider getting bottled water.

[Triage water. But test for radiation levels.]

your main water main, potable water, runs side by side to your waste water... and at times they get cracked and it mixes.

[The drain that's lain stains mainly in the main.]

Also check your house for obvious cracks.

[And check the DUmmie FUnnies for obvious wisecracks!]

If you find any.. chances are it is not structural, still have it checked by an engineer. Be ready for after shocks.

[Nadin, you are a font of wisdom and knowledge! Who would ever think of these things without your expert advice? Now to the grateful DUmmies . . .]

It's scary and unusual...

[No, I would say Nadin's condescension is fairly predictable. And FUnnie!]

Vibes to all east coast folks!

[I don't think they want any more.]

some may have pets that'll need a bit of reassurance.

[benburch is finding a cozy place for his pet gerbil.]

the EAST COAST has a much lower seismic threat (except new madrid area) so it has really not gotten ready.

[Uh, Nadin, I hate to tell you this, but the New Madrid fault is in MISSOURI. That's kinda in the MIDDLE of the country.]

Thank you and God Bless you Nadin.

[Oh yes, Nadin, we are EVER so grateful! Without your helpful advice and guidance, we would be LOST!]

Check walls and supporting pillars and yes, this applies to you... get bottled water. . . . Oh and dopey me... check your gas inlet, if you have any smell of gas, close it.

[Check, check, check, and CHECK! Man, that gas smell--I was just about to turn it UP until you said something, Nadin!]

Boy I could use a hug. I'm having a wine cooler.

[Check for radiation first, and make sure it's a BOTTLED wine cooler.]

The East coast doesn't have building codes?

[Nope. Unknown concept till Nadin came along.]

Our fellow Californians who have made the snarky posts should be ashamed of themselves.

[They have jumped the snark!]

As far as we know, there's been no loss of life, no MAJOR structural damage, phone lines are busy but the infrastructure remains. . . .

[QUIET! Nadin has to tell us of the danger! Now go get some bottled water!]

Yet, another hat.

[Nadin wears many hats. She is the World's Foremost Authority, dontcha know.]

This east coaster slept through it.

[Admit it, Pitt, you were passed out cold.]

While people make fun of the quake...

[Nadin posts a photo of a supermarket aisle with a few items lying on the floor.]

Who will pick up the toppled shampoo bottles? I ask: WHO?

[DUmmie Dreamer Tatum, I detect a note of sarcasm there. Don't you know those shampoo bottles might be contaminated?]

yep, I am glad nobody died... Oh and that there is no underlying damage that Irene will be able to have fun with. . . .

[Nadin, I bet you are an expert on hurricanes, too. Will you walk us through Irene next? We'd feel so much better.]

Talk about making a mountain out of molehill. Yes there was some damage, but most of it is minor. In addition nobody was injured or killed. . . . it's ridiculous to act like this was some sort of catastrophe.

[Stop! Nadin LIVES for these molehills!]

Just one note for the East Coast and those making light of this

[Somehow I think, Nadin, that you will not be able to stop at just one note.]

I have spent some time looking at damage pictures.

[Did the President request this of you?]

1.- If you believe in a deity, thank such a deity that nobody got hurt or killed.

[THANK you, Gaia! And thank you for Nadin, our guiding guardian angel!]

2.- For those of you in the quake zone, if you are near any damaged structure, even if it looks minor, stay away until it is cleared by engineers. If there is damage an achoo (aka an aftershock) can finish the job.

[Hold that sneeze!]

Well there is this little global revolution that will reach this country, and disasters like this, as "minor" as this was, help people to realize that. The 1985 quake in Mexico City was one of the tipping points, Thankfully it was not to that point, but katrina was.

[Trendspotting! Tipping points! Earthquakes, hurricanes, REVOLUTION! Nadinostradamus sees all, knows all, predicts all!]

3 Comments:

Anonymous Corona said...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v108/sargem/earthquakedevastation.jpg

9:16 AM  
Blogger Skul said...

Troggyboy!!! Go up a post, Nads is trying to steal your thunder!!1!11

12:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Corona,

That's funny right there, I don't care who you are.

1:09 PM  

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