Thursday, August 18, 2011

Fired DUmmie asks, "Describe your dream job."

DUmmie Chan790 must be bucking to be the Jobs Czar for Obama's proposed Department of Jobs. DUmmie Chan790 got fired from his job as a bankster, as documented here in this
THREAD, "Today, I was fired. Ask me anything about banking!" and now he is contemplating a new occupation--and getting ideas from his fellow DUmmies--as we see here in this THREAD, "Describe your dream job."

So let us now explore the fascinating--yet almost oxymoronic--field of DUmmies at work, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who, if he had followed his boyhood dream of being U.S. Senator from Illinois, could have prevented the rise of Obamao--is in the [brackets]:

Today, I was fired. Ask me anything about banking!

[What took them so long?]

I can't say I didn't have it coming, but I think it was an idiotic move on their part since I know their dirty secrets and how they're screwing their clients.

[So, in other words, DUmmie Chan790, you willingly worked as an eeevil bankster, helping to screw Mr. & Mrs. John Q. Workingman, UNTIL they fired you! Nice ethics!]

I'm squealing like a pig and snitching on their asses.

[Is that you, benburch?]

Did they do anything illegal? If so, I think it needs to be reported.

[DUmmie Chan790 will only report illegalities ONCE HE'S BEEN FIRED. Before this, he gleefully participated in the dirty deeds, as long he was collecting his ill-gotten gain.]

Are you sure you shouldn't contact an attorney and try for whistleblower status?

[Somehow Chan790's whistle was SILENT until now.]

Getting fired was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

[Another DUmmie who got canned. Yep, getting fired was WONDERFUL! Get to sit at home and mooch off others!]

Oh, and I hope you make those f***ers pay!

have fun screwing them over. . . .

[Stick it to THE MAN!]

I've been unemployed for 23.5 hours and I've already been headhunted by about 4 different banks. . . . That's the joy of being a licensed banker, people think you actually want to be a banker. . . . Right now, I'd settle for becoming a barista again and making sexy coffee drinks. Or maybe garbageman.

[If those banks read your thread here, DUmmie Chan 790, you may get your wish of frothing frappucinos.]

until you find something you want . . . barista would probably be the way to go.

[Better latte than never.]

[But what SHOULD DUmmie Chan790 do? Bankster? Barista? Jobs Czar? Thus Chan 790's next thread . . .]

Describe your dream job.

[Chan790 says the word "job," and half the DUmmies run away, covering their ears.]

I was just thinking about this, now that I am unemployed, I can in-theory do anything I want as a career. My world is wide open.

[And as long as I get paid, I'll keep my mouth shut about corrupt practices.]

my dream job is:

*Strictly 9-5.
*Provides a clear work/life divide.
*Pays a moderate-low amount of money, say $30K, with little or no chance of significant raise or promotion. . . .
*Not client-facing.

Beyond that, I don't really think I have any great career aspirations. I just want to work, get paid, not have quotas to meet, go home, leave all my work @ work and live my life. . . . I'm not showing up on weekends either.

[Set your sights high there, Chan790! Ambition like yours will lead America into ADVANCED mediocrity! Now let's hear from your fellow slackers . . .]

From noon until 7pm. Working in a political head office (either Democratic or Liberal).

[That was Pitt's dream job too, until he LOST ALL CREDIBILITY with his Rove indictment "scoop"! Now his dream job consists of being a bouncer at Bukowski's and not getting puked on by the drunks.]

People pay me to play with flowers. . . .

[In other words, you grow marijuana.]

Playing with doggies or kitties all day. . . .

[Alive or dead, ben?]

I used to aspire to being a piano player in a bordello. . . .

[Do you know "Puttin' on the Spitz"?]

I have been told by several reasonably intelligent people that I am a frustrated artist. . . .

[In other words, you spray-paint graffiti on school walls.]

Painting beautiful murals on people's walls and ceilings.

[You too??]

Running a progressive think tank. . . .

[Now THAT is an oxymoron!]


[The DU GrovelBot reminds us that $kimmer already has HIS dream job! Hee! Hee!]


Anonymous Marty Moonbat said...

My dreem Job is having somebody else work thens the government takes their money and pays me. Obama 2012

8:45 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"my dream job...pays a moderate-low amount of money, say $30K, with little or no chance of significant raise or promotion."

No wonder the bank fired his lazy ass. Chan has no ambition other than working in a slacker nirvana. He wants a dead-end job that limits him to living in a crappy basement apartment but provides unlimited opportunity to bitch and whine to fellow DUmmies about the Man oppressing him.

...wait a second, is that you troglaman?

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Nah, can't be Troglaman...his best skill is slamming his head up his ass like a jackhammer. If he was willing to do that in public and either move to Alan Grayson's old Congressional District or some California DSA strong hold and try to clean up his vile language, he could be a member of the US House of Representatives. A scary thought but still....

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You knew about their dirty secrets and didn't bother to contact the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network? Interesting.

9:03 PM  

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