Sunday, July 03, 2011

Yankee Doodle DUmmies: Scorn on the Fourth of July



"Don't you DARE question my patriotism!" cry the DUmmies, lest they be accused of being anti-American. Vainly do they try to wrap themselves in the flag, in an effort to mask their radical leftist tendencies. And so when Independence Day rolls around, they feel they must take back the holiday from the domain of the Teabaggers--even though the Founding Fathers were the ORIGINAL Tea Party! Even though the DUmmies really HATE the Fourth of July and all it stands for, they must pretend otherwise.

How successful are they? Let's find out on this THREAD, "Time to ban the 4th of July?" and this THREAD, "Harvard Study: Kids who attend 4th of July parades more likely to vote Republican."

So let us watch the fireworks over the Fourth, in Red-White-and-DU, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Time to ban the 4th of July?

[Let's go straight from the 3rd to the 5th. Actually, a lot of the DUmmies would LIKE to go straight to a fifth. (Although not all of them would go straight.)]

According to the report, published by Harvard University, July 4th-themed festivities (defined by the study as fireworks, parades, political speeches, and barbecues) not only energize primarily Republicans, but also turn children into Republicans and increase GOP voter turnout.

[Turning kids into Rethugs? Child abuse!]

Nobody knows what it's about anyway anymore.

[Thank you, NEA!]

Just like all holidays we celebrate in this country...most are an excuse to drink beer.

[We hold these brews to be self-indulgent. . . .]

I've never voted for an R in a statewide or national election in my entire f***ing life, but you can best believe that after attending the local 4th of July Parade we'll be barbequing at my house, then going down to the marina to watch the fireworks show over the lake. . . . Fireworks... f*** yeah!

{Thank you for proving the point the above DUmmie was making: All the trappings, without the substance.]

I heard a local radio talk show discussing this. The Reps were saying that since Dems are not as enthusiastic about parades and fireworks, they are not patriotic. . . . I suppose it all comes down to how you define "patriotism".

[Oh, how about . . . love of country . . . valuing freedom from Big Government . . . being willing to use military might to protect our country . . . honoring the Founding Fathers. . . . Those things work for you? No? How come?]

As synonymous with "nationalism", obviously, but then most Americans think they're the same thing.

[Yeah, it's good to be patriotic about some OTHER nation, like France, or Canada, or Cuba. . . .]

I truly believe that they would hate the founding fathers that they think they love.

[Yes, the Founding Parents were really long-wigged hippies who LOVED high taxes--"investing in the Empire," they called it--the seizure of guns, and an all-powerful distant government. . . . No, wait! That's what they were fighting AGAINST! Darn, I always get those things mixed up!]

I don't see much to be proud of on the 4th....

[But don't question my patriotism!]

I love the fourth of July. . . .

[The Fourth is strong with this one.]

Why is that some in our party want to ban everything ... Ban smoking, ban salt, ban fast food restaurants, ban guns, ban fireworks, ban the Bible, ban Fox News, ban gas guzzlers, ban incandescent light bulbs, ban violent video games, ban the Fourth of July, ban Christmas, ban any mention of God, ban, ban, ban, ban.

[Ban, ban, ban, ban. . . . Ban, ban, ban, ban. . . . LOVELY BAN, WONDERFUL BAN!]

I personally love living in a free nation.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

If I want to go to Burger King once a month and enjoy a hamburger and fries, smoke a cigar when someone has a baby or enjoy watching a parade on the Fourth of July I should be allowed to.

[HERESY!]

If we continue down this road we will lose a lot more voters than we will attract.

[Kewpie Doll.]

the fireworks people set off in my complex make the dogs go crazy.

[The Dogs Must Be Crazy: Winner of the 1981 Dyslexia Award at the Canines Film Festival.]

I hate all jingoistic bullsh*t like the 4th of July. All those stupid super-patriotic holidays like Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, etc. I refuse to wave a flag, to stand when the anthem is played, to say the Pledge. The hell with all that.

[NOW may we question your patriotism?]

Watching fireworks being set off by authorities makes you more fascist. Setting off fireworks yourself makes you more independent.

[Or left-handed.]

Watching officials and organizations in a parade makes you more fascist. Making your own parade float (especially without a guiding organization) makes you more independent.

[Making your own parade float without a parade makes you NUts.]

Sitting around all day eating junk food makes you more fascist. Packing a healthy picnic and going out into the boonies makes you more independent.

[Tofu salad with pine nuts, skim soy water--yeah, that says Fourth of July to me!]

You want to ban the 4th of July. My vote is to ban you instead.

[The Battle of the Bans!]

Harvard Study: Kids who attend 4th of July parades more likely to vote Republican.

[Henrickson Study: Young skulls full of mush who attend Harvard more likely to vote Democrat.]

Even a single July 4 celebration boosts the chance of turning a kid into a Republican. . . .

[It's like radiation poisoning from the fireworks or something.]

My Pop took us to air shos also. (excuse the typos as my double u is not orking on the keyboard. . . .

[This DUmmie banned the letter "W" from his keyboard, that's how progressive he is!]

I even have red, white and blue decorations up for the holiday.

[The Red Star, a white flag, and Democrat blue.]

Flag wavers generally are repukes.

[Ban the flag! Ban repukes!]

This spreads the ludicrous meme that Publicans are inherently more patriotic, and that "proper child rearing" will produce the "good kind" of 'Murkkkin."

[The Parenting and the Publican.]

This is dumb.

[This is DUmmieland.]

Maybe I can commission a study and conclude that attending Harvard makes you 50% more likely to be an elitist douchebag.

[LEAVE OBAMA ALONE!!]

20 Comments:

Anonymous troglaman said...

"Vainly do they try to wrap themselves in the flag, in an effort to mask their radical leftist tendencies." PJinc

What a load of bullshit. And what does "radical leftist tendencies" mean, anyway?

Is wrapping yourself up in the flag somehow your domain? No, it's not.

The fact is that if our founding fathers raised their ugly heads today, you retarded jackasses would castrate them.

Jefferson didn't believe Jesus was the son of God. He didn't believe in the trinity. The separation of church and state was a big deal to these guys. The Boston Tea Party had to do with sinking corporate tea because local tea was taxed. Imported tea wasn't. Think about it.

So if PJinc is claiming progressives are distorting facts, he's wrong. The American Revolution, the Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence are all evidence of triumphs of progressive liberalism. So was ending slavery and giving women the vote. So was desegregation.

What's actually happening is that you fucked up prudes, religious zealots and bigots, want to put the ten commandments in court houses, say mandatory prayers, and make creationism a realistic alternative for how the world began.

Our founding fathers would have had a problem with this kind of thinking.

So...if you think you're somehow more entitled to wrap yourselves in the flag, you're wrong.

Happy 4th, you all. God bless America.

(drink yourself a triple hopped IPA, elrond)

1:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The separation of church and state was a big deal to these guys."

Really? One would think they would have written that belief in the Constitution somewhere, if that were the case.

2:28 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Fueled by HATE, TROGLAMAN - The Official Troll of the DUmmie FUnnies Blog Site - power-slammed his head repeatedly up his ass and emitted pile after pile of worthless mental excrement....

Figured you'd be sure to come on the blog today and spew out more bilious bullshit, Guttersnipe.

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Foxx said...

Wow, troggie showed up to actually start lying about the Founding fathers on all days. What a sad, sad, little man.

11:41 AM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

"And what does "radical leftist tendencies" mean, anyway?"

Whatever bullshit you belive in.

"Is wrapping yourself up in the flag somehow your domain?"

Yes it is, inasmuch as you hate America.

"The fact is that if our founding fathers raised their ugly heads today"

Thanks for proving my point.

"Jefferson didn't believe Jesus was the son of God"

Yes, he did.

"The separation of church and state was a big deal to these guys."

Then why isn't it in the Constitution, seeing as how it was so important?

"The Boston Tea Party had to do with sinking corporate tea because local tea was taxed. Imported tea wasn't. Think about it."

Don't have to. You're an ignorant moron with no knowledge of history.

"PJinc is claiming progressives are distorting facts"

That's true. Lies, hatred, distortions, propaganda and ad hominem attacks are all that your typical reactionary leftist has.

"The American Revolution, the Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence are all evidence of triumphs of progressive liberalism."

You're an ignorant moron with no knowledge of history. Thanks for proving my point. Again.

"So was ending slavery"

Thanks you Republicans.

"So was desegregation."

Thank you Republicans.

"Our founding fathers would have had a problem with this kind of thinking."

Why? Most of them were deeply religious Christian believers.

"if you think you're somehow more entitled to wrap yourselves in the flag" ...we are. You're not.

"Happy 4th, you all. God bless America."

Liar.

12:59 PM  
Anonymous radical redneck said...

As I fully expected, today brings out the uber-trolls. Can we now question their patriotism?

Truth hurts when you are a regressive.

Today is the day baggers celebrate their jingoism, racism, fascism, Christianity and hate with wasteful celebrations and firearms.

10 years from now you will celebrate a new independence day. May Day will be the new national holiday once the US is reborn through socialism.

You keep mentioning people who are chronically unemployed by choice. That is not allowed in socialist countries. The egalitarian USSR constitution created a duty for citizens to work. Those who could not work were given help and compassion. Those who refused to work were charged for stealing the people's resources.

Detroit was looted by capitalists then left to decay when they stole the people's money and took away their jobs.

Your independence has caused capitalism and racism. 10 years from now you will be independent from that independence. The people will have risen up and thrown off the chains of oppression forming a new socialist nation. The old ways of doing things will be discarded.

We need world socialism. Socialism in one country is not the right way.

Posted by: G√ľnther at July 4, 2011 10:41 AM

1:09 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"The separation of church and state was a big deal to these guys." the mighty trog

"Really? One would think they would have written that belief in the Constitution somewhere, if that were the case." troglanon

So you're saying there's nothing regarding church and state in the Constitution...is that right?

Yes it is!

1:45 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

The First Amendment reads "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

Article VI specifies that "no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."

Do either of these things have to do with the separation of church and state, troglanon? According to you, they don't. According to you, they don't even exist.

But they do, psycho. You're a liar.

2:00 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Let me reiterate, just in case you all missed it..."Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." Got that?

That has EVERYTHING to do with the separation of church and state. If you're to dim to understand that, then you're too dim. Nothing will help other than comfort food...macaroni and cheese. Turkey chili. Something.

Go eat, dumb-clucks.

2:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trog, READ what you just cut/pasted...No where dose it say the separation of church and state. reading comprehension is not one of your strong suits.

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

TROGLAMAN - The Official Hate-Mongering Anti-American Guttersnipe Troll of the DUmmie FUnnies Blog Site power-slammed his head repeatedly up his ass and emitted the following pile of worthless mental excrement:

"Let me reiterate, just in case you all missed it..."Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." Got that?

That has EVERYTHING to do with the separation of church and state. If you're to dim to understand that, then you're too dim."


That has NOTHING to do with a separation of church and state Guttersnipe other than saying the state will not impose a religion. What you and your fellow Moonbat jackasses power-slam your heads up your ass to believe is that also forbids any public expression of religion and that religion must be confined to a church. It doesn't. And you're the dumbass dimwitted jackass because you believe that, Guttersnipe.

Now go pound some more Everclear, Guttersnipe so you can figure out how to spew your next pile of worthless mental excrement.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Read more closely, Troggy...it says CONGRESS (iow, the FEDS) shall make no law; it doesn't say that the states can't, or cities can't. It says that CONGRESS (iow, the FEDS) cannot be involved in either supporting or prohibiting religion or worship.

The incorrectly named "separation clause" actually came from a letter written by Jefferson to the Danbury Baptists. Sorry, but that's his opinion, not law.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

troggy,

Your ignorance of history is selective and profound.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, trog . . . read and learn. The Constitution was written to protect the church from the government, not the other way around. Just because the liberal wing of the Supreme Court decided to revise OUR Constitution does not mean they made the correct decision.

Oh, and my the way . . . Jefferson most definitely believed in God . . .

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."

"To the corruptions of Christianity I am, indeed, opposed; but not to the genuine precepts of Jesus Himself. I am a Christian, in the only sense in which He wished any one to be: sincerely attached to His doctrines, in preference to all others; ascribing to Himself every human excellence; and believing He never claimed any other."

This is a great Jefferson quote . . .

"When the people fear the government, there is tyranny. When the government fears the people, there is liberty."

Here is another good one . . .

"I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."

11:59 PM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

Yep, just like I expected, the retarded marmoset gets it wrong.

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Foxx said...

Or as I like to say when troggie dares stick his head back in here again; scream troggie, scream!

9:50 AM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

"The First Amendment reads "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.""

Let's see.......

Seperation......nope, not there.

of....OH! that's in there.

church.....nope, not thare.

and.....well, 'an' is close, but no cigar.

state......nope, not there either.

Oh, well, trogaltard, looks like you lose again.

6:41 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..."

What's so hard to understand about this statement?

It doesn't mean you can't talk about it. It doesn't mean you can't believe in God. It means you can't pass a law respecting an established religion...meaning anything that has to do with ANY kind of God, you stupid jackasses.

That's what it means. It couldn't be more plainly stated. Any law that respects Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, etc. religion, is verboten. It's unconstitutional. Sorry. It just is.

So you can spin your silly brains around to your hearts content about this, but there's little argument. Congress cannot make a law respecting religion and neither can any state, county or city. It's the law of the land.

You patriotic, constitutional blowhards have a problem with that?

Why...Yes! Yes you do.

Freedom...liberty...just sometimes...when you decide it's OK.

Same-sex marriage? Nope.
Abortion? Nope.
Islamic mosques? Nope.
Atheists? Nope.
Evolution? Nope.
Freedom from religion? Nope.

You monkeys don't believe in freedom and liberty at all. You're too afraid. You're small brains can't even get around the concept of a state that doesn't recognize religious dogma. It makes no sense to you.

The fact that our 300 year-old ancestors are smarter than you bovine disasters doesn't carry even a whiff of shame.

And Jefferson did NOT believe Jesus was the son of God. He cut up a Bible - took out all references of Jesus as the son of God and more. This is fact.

1:17 AM  
Blogger TANSTAAFL said...

""Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..."

What's so hard to understand about this statement?"

I understand it.

Why don't you, you retarded marmoset?

"meaning anything that has to do with ANY kind of God, you stupid jackasses."

No, it doesn't. Jackass.

"Any law that respects Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, etc. religion, is verboten."

No, not.

"Congress cannot make a law respecting religion and neither can any state, county or city. It's the law of the land."

That's not what it says, jackass.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Adam said...

Shame that Troggy wrecked this thread by posting his usual mix of treasonous BS, anti- Christian bigotry, revisionist history, and flinging hateful stereotypes at us.
Hey Troggy,
"Separation of Church and State" is nowhere in the Constitution. It was taken from a letter that Jefferson wrote to a group of Baptists (Who at that time were a minority denomination in the US) in which he was reassuring them that the government would stay out of their church's affairs. He never intended it to be used the other way around (That it is illegal for government to ever acknowledge any kind of religion in public, the way you and so many other ignorant lefties believe). As for the Establishment Clause, which IS in the Constitution, that was basically just saying that the government could not establish an official, mandatory state religion. They did it because they remembered the problems that arose from England having a mandated official state religion, the Church of England, and didn't want the same problems to occur in America. btw, I see that you, like most ignorant lefties, conveniently overlook the second part of that amendment, the whole "Nor prohibiting the free exercise thereof" part which freaks like you find so inconvenient when you seek to have a 10- year- old expelled from school for saying a Christian prayer over her lunch.
btw, as others have pointed out, ending slavery and desegregation were all Republican efforts, which Democrats fought tooth and nail against (i.e. the two senators who filibustered to keep civil rights legislation from passing through were both Democrats: Senator Robert Byrd, and Al Gore Sr.).
but, don't let silly little things like historical truth get in the way of puking out your usual baseless stereotypes and obscene insults against us.

11:58 AM  

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