Monday, April 25, 2011

"Spread the Wealth Around": A DUmmie Salute to Socialism



The DUFUs are BACK! We've been laying low the last couple weeks. PJ's been whispering at coupons, of course, and I've been doing Holy Week and Easter services. But for this week, at least, I've got time to do a DUFU or two.

Let's get back in the swing of things with a salute to the DUmmies' favorite fantasy: SOCIALISM! Click the music link and sing along!

SPREAD THE WEALTH AROUND
Tune: "Turn the Beat Around"

Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around
Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around
Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around
Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around

Spread the wealth around
Make it our possession
Bring the rich man down
Shake off his oppression
Make him fear it

Wall Street, in New York City
Your bottom line keeps growing and you're sittin' pretty
But when we take your cash and Wall Street's crashin'
Then you'll feel the people rising up in action

Spread the wealth around
Make it our possession
Bring the rich man down
Shake off his oppression
Make him fear it

Spread the wealth around
Make it our possession
Bring the rich man down
Shake off his oppression
Make him fear it

Taxpayer, pay your taxes
I know that you hope your rate relaxes
But you see, we've made up our mind about it
It's got to be arisen, no doubt about it

When the program maker start playin'
With the confiscated income, with the scratch, scratch, scratch
Makes me wanna kiss somebody, yeah, yeah, yeah
And when Obama starts raisin' that debt
He pays that debt with the confiscated income
With attack, tack, tack, tack, tacks on the rich

Spread the wealth around
Make it our possession
Bring the rich man down
Shake off his oppression
Make him fear it, make him fear it
Make him fear it, make him fear it . . .

Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around
Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around
Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around
Spread it out, spread it out, spead it all around

Spread the wealth around
Make it our possession
Bring the rich man down
Shake off his oppression . . .

Spread the wealth around
Make it our possession
Bring the rich man down
Shake off his oppression

Spread the wealth around
Make it our possession
Bring the rich man down
Shake off his oppression!

We see the DUmmies do their own Salute to Socialism here in this
THREAD, "A DU silent thread of support for Socialism."

Now notice, this was supposed to be a SILENT thread, i.e., just post nothing and keep recc'ing the thread to show your support. But do you think you can keep the DUmmies' mouths shut? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! And for that, we here at DUmmie FUnnies are most appreciative! Hee! Hee!

So let us now return to DUmmieland, where Lenin's birthday and Earth Day outranked Good Friday, and where the remarx are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, noting that Lenin's dead body is still lying in a tomb, is in the [brackets]:

A DU silent thread of support for Socialism.

[The Silence of the Loons. Oh well, nothing much to DUFU here, I suppose. Move along. . . .]

+.

[How do you DUFU a plus sign? Sigh. . . .]

R U KIDDING? SCREAM SOCIALISIM IN THE STREETS!

[YEAH, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! THAT'S THE OLD DUMMIE SPIRIT!!]

Unrecced. This is a discussion forum, not a silent forum. Silent threads accomplish nothing.

[Run Silent, Run DUmb.]

Name removed. Deleted message.

[Well, that's one way to do a silent post.]

I'm a supporter of socialism. It has great potential, although I do not know how it could be implemented in the US without a rewriting of the Constitution.

[Constitution, Shmonstitution! We don't need no stinkin' Constitution!]

Why does constitution needs to be rewritten?

[It's that pesky "limited powers of the federal government" thing. But, don't worry, it hasn't stopped us for nearly 80 years now!]

The preamble to the constitution at the very top of the document states that it's purpose is "to promote the common WELFARE." it is per se a socialist manifesto.

[OK, you, like all liberals, get a ZERO on Understanding the Constitution 101. All the Preamble says there is that, in order to (among other things) "promote the general welfare," we approve the following Constitution. In other words, it's in the general interest of the United States to have this Constitution--which, ironically, LIMITS the scope of the federal government to just the few, explicitly enumerated powers. The "general welfare" phrase in the Preamble has NOTHING to do with any wealth-redistributing, socialistic welfare state--quite the opposite. But don't let the facts get in the way of your fiction.]

This is silly.

[SHHH! You're supposed to keep SILENT!]

I can't find the point in an empty thread on a discussion forum.

[It matches the empty heads.]

in honor of my grandpa, Rowland Ward Bishop, proprietor of the Square Deal Dairy that went bust in the 30's due to depression. For you, Grandpa.

[Here's to you, Grandpa Bishop, Oppressor of Cow Teats!]

SILENCE .... is also a response -- !!

[Whispering truth to power!]

.....(fart noise)

[Silent but deadly!]

Shhh

[Quiet, class . . .]

Silent threads on a discussion board are odd. Particularly when they don't pertain to some sort of tragedy.

[What if it's an odd discussion board?]

It's sort of like the old "K&R if you like cheese" threads. I never understood those, either.

[Particularly if you're a cow.]

there could be folks using a text reader to follow DU. In fact, I'll bet there is at least one blind regular DUer. For them, the thread would be silent. You'd hear a computer generated voice, saying:

Plus Sign One
Period Period Period Period
Exclamation Point One One Exclamation Point

And so on. And the blind DUer goes, "WTF?"


[Win The Future??]

Silent threads: 100% less snark.

[This thread has jumped the snark.]

Whether socialism is a tragedy is certainly something to consider, given the political atrocities that the implementors have committed over the decades.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

socialism is still an idea that has never been fully implemented.

[The old "Real Communism has never been tried before" excuse.]

((((((((((Nationalize everything)))))))))))

[All your parentheses are belong to us.]

Only the petroleum exploration and production, all water resources, all power generation and transmission and all medical care (except the purely charitable) and pharmaceutical production and any banks and related institutions found guilty of mortgage and derivatives fraud. That should be a good start.

[Baby steps.]

Imagine Norway.

[No way!]

Yay Socialism!!

[Socialism, socialism, you're our plan!
If you can't do it, Communism can!]

Shhhhh.

[Class . . .]

I'm a fan of Trotskyism, personally.

[You're hotsky to Trotsky!]

I can't stay silent. F*** YOU, CAPITALISM.

[SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT PROUD: F*** YOU, CAPITALISM!!!]

Shhhhhh.

[QUIIIII-ETT!!! . . . Thank you! < /sistermaryelephant >]

f*** silence. I am a socialist.

I second the f*** silence sh*t.


[Alright, the motion is on the floor to f*** capitalism and to f*** silence. All in favor, say . . .]

HELL YEAH!

Aye!


[Motion carried. We shall now proceed to f*** capitalism and f*** silence. . . .]

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

Well that was certainly... peculiar.

It is almost as though the DUmmies (well, this particular clod of DUmmies, anyway), have run out of specific windmills at which to tilt.

No Limbaugh hate? No Palin kid skewering?

Not even a poke at ol' JugEars for not closing Gitmo or something?

Very odd.

Perhaps they're in love!

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

No. It's a stroke.

Anyway, Sister Mary Elephant? Heh, haven't heard that name in a loooooong time.

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"socialism is still an idea that has never been fully implemented."

Goddam, if I had a dollar for for every time I heard that asinine remark I'd be a millionaire.

10:06 PM  
Anonymous envisio said...

""""I can't stay silent. F*** YOU, CAPITALISM."""""

...posted the DUmmie wearing Gap clothing from a Dell computer, using microsoft software, eating Dominos Pizza, sitting in the basement that mommy is paying for from her job at the big bad corporation.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

Socialisim = the final solution for those who refuse to get off of their big fat asses and actually do some real work for a change.

3:14 PM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

I guess technically, they're correct. It hasn't been fully implemented.

40 or 50 people survived to emmigrate to the US.

Can't win them all, huh DUmmies?

3:35 PM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

“If I had a dollar for every time that CAPITALISM was blamed for the problems caused by GOVERNMENT, I’d be a fat filmmaker with a baseball cap.”

9:33 AM  
Blogger Lazarus Long said...

“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
-WKRP in Cincinnati

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If these walking diaper stains want some wealth, they need to get out and earn it. Then, if they still believe that wealth should be "spread", they can give of their own wealth. Instead, these wastes of oxygen want what is earned by someone else without their having to work for it. That sounds like slavery to me. It is, indeed, a topsy-turvy world when forcing others into slavery for you is "compassion" and earning your way is "slavery to capitalism."

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's purpose is "to promote the common WELFARE"

Dummie can't even force himself/herself/itself to quote the Constitution correctly....But then again, its never been that important to them.

8:39 PM  

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