Friday, April 08, 2011

"Brain structure differs in liberals, conservatives: study"


A new study confirms what we always knew: The Looney Left are not in their right mind. Their brains are different. Yes, it's true! There's been a study! See this THREAD, "Brain structure differs in liberals, conservatives: study."

Of course, right now, the DUmmies' brains are still EXPLODING over the stolen Wisconsin judge election. But, be that as it may, the brain they retain is on a higher plane. (FUnnie, though, how we low-brained Rethuglicans somehow manage to steal elections.)

So let us now travel to Mensachusetts, aka DUmmieland, where all the DUmmies are above average and their superior thoughts are in Rarefied Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering how his low-functioning brain was able to learn seven languages and earn several degrees, is in the [brackets]:

Brain structure differs in liberals, conservatives: study

[A study! It must be true!]

Liberals have more gray matter in a part of the brain associated with understanding complexity . . .

[Huh? What? Could you repeat that?]

while the conservative brain is bigger in the section related to processing fear. . . .

[AAIII-EEEE!!!!!!]

"We found that greater liberalism was associated with increased gray matter volume in the anterior cingulate cortex, whereas greater conservatism was associated with increased volume of the right amygdala,"

[AMYGDALA!!]

People with a large amygdala are "more sensitive to disgust" and tend to "respond to threatening situations with more aggression than do liberals and are more sensitive to threatening facial expressions,"

[See? And you say we're not the sensitive type. . . . Now to the brilliant replies of our intellectual superiors . . .]

Which is why we need to develop ads that consider these factors.

["Vote for us Democrats. We're smarter than you."]

It's the key to a winning strategy if we get off our asses and work on it.

[Quit the three-dimensional chess for a minute and get to work!]

I wonder how that would work. Fear of not being able to pay for medical treatment. Fear of being laid off with no safety net. Fear of not getting social security in your retirement years. Fear of you or your children having to go to war to protect corporate profits. Disgust towards racists. Disgust towards people like the Koch brothers. Disgust towards PR firms and front groups.

[Digust toward manipulative ad campaigns. . . .]

One of the problems I notice is that "they" take words literally. They don't factor in body language or nuance. But they can be frightened by images.

["They" are such inferior little creatures, aren't they?]

I saw an ad for "secular humanism" on the bus the other day, and it struck me as the most pointless waste of money I'd ever seen. It was WORDY - two blocks of text, one an obscure, wordy Bible quote and the other an obscure, uninspiring commentary on genocide from some random diplomatic functionary no one's ever heard of. Seriously: WHO is that ad trying to reach? 80% of people will see a blob of words and won't read it, and of the 20% who do, 15% will lose interest after reading the utter dryness of the words, and. . . .

[Huh? Did you say something?]

Conservatives have lizard brains.

[Repubtilian.]

If being an evil, rapacious f*** is genetic, then only genocide will save us.

[DUmmies get in touch with their Inner Nazi.]

I think that possibly it could be that the amygdala (OMGdala) gets more exercise in conservapigs because they constantly fear and thus their OMGdala grows huge.

[Use it or lose it.]

The mammalian brain is incredibly plastic. . . .

[The DUmmalian brain is incredibly spastic.]

Do liberal brains change when the owners become conservatives?

[The brains that change go strangely down the drain.]

Back to the lab folks....


So then is it bigotry to hate conservatives? If people are born conservative rather than choosing to be conservative. . . .

[I'm on the right wing, baby, I was born this way . . .]

These are uneducated antediluvian and brainwashed by corporate TV and talk radio propaganda raving extremist fundamentalist revolutionary radicals.

[BRAINIST!]

Screw it. Let's call it a virus and have it eradicated.

[Wait a minute! I thought it was CONSERVATIVES who were "more sensitive to disgust" and tended to "respond to threatening situations with more aggression. . . ."]

Perhaps the scariest part is that we didn't all evolve to be Liberals.

["The conservative brain is bigger in the section related to processing fear. . . ."]

? I just need somewhere to sleep tonight. Preferably, in the arms of one i love.

["Liberals have more gray matter in a part of the brain associated with understanding complexity . . ."]

And yet they keep whooping our asses. Yeah, they lie, cheat, pander, distort, and bully, but that vicious lizard brain of theirs (along with deep corporate pockets) seem to beat our evolved grey matter more often than not these days.

[HOW does that HAPPEN??]

Being stupid is easy.

[DUmmietime . . . and the stupid is easy . . .]

Reframe it: Conservatives born with brain defect. I think they should all be institutionalized.

[Lace 'em up! Lock 'em up!]

Growth of the brain occurs in child development in particular. That is why Cons want to PEPPER SPRAY children, and the like.

[Have you pepper sprayed your child today?]

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know who else had an under developed sense of fear? The Dodo bird. Fearlessness brought them to extinction.

It's the developed sense of fear that drives us to not depend on the government for anything.

It's your lack of fear that would have you think the government can solve all your problems but then bitch when they aren't solved to your exacting standards.

The disconnect as to why that is is because you actually trust government and don't see it for the danger that it can easily become.

It's the same reason you're in love with Islamo fascists. You're to stupid to realize you want to make your bed among vipers. Which BTW I wouldn't care so much about if you were willing to make your bed over there. That type of fearless stupidity I'm all for.

Johnny 5 is alive

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And yet they keep whooping our asses. Yeah, they lie, cheat, pander, distort, and bully, but that vicious lizard brain of theirs (along with deep corporate pockets) seem to beat our evolved grey matter more often than not these days.

[HOW does that HAPPEN??]


THIS

This huge gaping whole in their thought processes always amuses me.

they lie, cheat, pander, distort, and bully. That's got more projection in it than the Bat Signal. I'm still waiting for any proof of this assertion.

Johnny 5 is alive

8:56 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

So the DUmmies are the Ubermenschen, the Nietzschean supermen. Who knew?

"If being an evil rapacious f*** is genetic, then only genocide will save us."

Where have I heard that before? I think it was in a book written in Germany.

"Being stupid is easy."

Indeed it is.

9:35 PM  
Anonymous Corona said...

1) Think it.
2) Believe it.
3) ?
4) Profit!

9:47 PM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

The smug is strong in these ones. Probably all drive Priuses {Priui?) and smell their own farts, too.

4:29 PM  
Anonymous 98ZJUSMC said...

and smell their own farts, too.

OK, I admit it. I had to. Once. I was backseating an F-4N out of MCAS Yuma and we had a nacho eating contest the night before.

It wasn't fun.

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, oh good grief, now I'm confused! Conservatives respond with more fear and aggression? Like maybe advocating genocide and mandatory institutionalization? So with all their fear and hostility, I guess DUmmies are all conservatives now?

Actually I think they're on to something. When I became a conservative my brain did change. It was no longer forced to contort itself into a pretzel, and pulling it out of my nether regions infused it with a sudden blast of oxygen.

9:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Liberals have more gray matter in a part of the brain associated with understanding complexity . . .
---
while the conservative brain is bigger in the section related to processing fear. . . ."


So, Liberals bog down hopelessly in anything complex, and Conservatives are more well-equipped to respond appropriately to scary situations.

Got it.

DAT

8:34 AM  

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