Thursday, December 17, 2009

DUmmies ready to join Olbermann in going to jail!



Gandhi . . . King . . . Mandela . . . Solzhenitsyn . . . Olbermann . . . OLBERMANN?? Wha-aa?? Yes, Keith Olbermann, the Wussiest Person in the World, is ready to join the ranks of heroic dissidents of the past in going to JAIL for his beliefs! I can just see his future memoirs: "The Long Island Archipelago." "Letters from a Bridgehampton Jail." KO's life and career will become the stuff of legend. Movies will be made: "Inflictus." "The Golf Shank Reduction." Ben Affleck will find work again. Songs will be written: "We shall Olbermann someday." "Let there be Keith on earth."

What has brought on Olbermann's impassioned imprisonment KOurage? Last night on his wildly popular "KOuntdown" program, with an audience literally in the tens of hundreds, KO KO'd BO over the proposed Mutual of Obama mandatory health insurance bill. In his "Special KOmment," Keith railed and ranted to new heights of belligerent bloviation, closing with this pugnacious pledge:

I hereby pledge that I will not buy this perversion of health care reform. Pass this at your peril, Senators, and sign it at yours, Mr. President. I will not buy this insurance. Brand me a lawbreaker if you choose. Fine me if you will. Jail me if you must.

Is KO bucking for a Kewpie Doll here, having a brief moment of mental clarity? Not exactly. He opposes the bill for different reasons than we do. He thinks it's not KOmmunist enough!

"Pass this at your peril." "Jail me if you must." Them's fightin' words, and so if Keith Olbermann is going to jail, the DUmmies are ready to join him! A host of KO-KOnspirators are shouting "I am Olbermann!" "If they come for Keith, they come for me!"

So Keithie is the Darling of the Day in DUmmieland. You can read about it in a bunch of threads, like this
THREAD, "Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!" and this THREAD, "I stand with Keith O. I will not...actually cannot afford to..." and this THREAD, "Keith Olbermann says he'll go to jail before being forced to buy health insurance and" and this THREAD, "I'm going to jail, who's with me?".

The DUmmie KOmments are in Bolshevik Red, while the KOmmentary of your humble guest KOrrespondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!

[Olbermann's Special KOmment was AMUSING!]

He not only hit it out of the ball park but the east coast to west coast.

[He parked it! From KOast to KOast!]

I love that he says he will refuse to be forced to buy into this bondage and protection money for health care. He said he will go to jail first.

[ATTICA!]

Olbermann's job is to get TV ratings. . . . Don't take Olbermann's rants too seriously.

["Rantings for Ratings." It's not working.]

You are tombstoned, troll, so STFU

[You are THE WORST LOUSY FREEPER TROLL IN THE WORLD!]

Keith is wrong on this. He's wrong on Obama. He's on the wrong side for healthcare reform, which can be amended as opposed to killed to be buried. He can go off in his life of privilege and wink at those who can't get any coverage and think he's a folksy Murrowesque hero. He won't see them spit blood as he walks by to get into his limo.

[But it's a limo to Leavenworth!]

KO takes the subway, for one thing.

[The Underground Railroad! Dissidents on the run!]

he is obviously making many people very nervous speaking truth to power.

["Speaking truth to power"! Take a drink, if you're playing at home!]

Thank you Keith, it was hard to listen to, but you're a better man than oh so many others in Congress!!!

[Keith √úbermann.]

I stand with Keith O.

[I am Olbermann!]

Jail ain't nothing to me. Hell, I'll get some health care there.

[Is that you, Otis Campbell?]

KO will go to jail? Now that's funny.

[It could be a sit-KOm, "Olbie's Heroes," with Chris Dodd as Sgt. Schultz, Harry Reid as Col. Klink, and the aforementioned Ben Affleck, of course, as Olbie.]

Sure he won't go to jail for that. He could go to jail in the future for inciting rebellion or whatever fascist overlords accuse people who dissent from them in thought.

["Fascist overlords"! Drink up! The irony, of course, is that it's the DEMOCRATS that would be the fascist overlords!]

"keith olbermann" is a f***ing corporation. you do get that right? right?

[KOco.]

the stupidity here is overwhelming sometimes. . . .

[KOOkoo.]

I'm going to jail, who's with me?

[Field trip!]

I will happily go to jail. There I will get a roof over my head, three meals a day, something constructive to do and I'll get free health care. All provided by the state. Do the math, it's not a bad deal.

[Like Mom's basement, only better!]

I'll try to stay out of prison myself, thanks.

[Is that you, Blago?]

Hope you can believe in...Maybe you can be on his Change Gang too.

["Change Gang." I sense a parody coming on. Maybe later this week.]

I can't go to jail because they'll put my animals down.

["Putdown," hosted by DUmmie EFerrari.]

I'll just have to go on the lam.

[The horse would be faster.]

We'll start an outlaw commune. All we need is an old school bus.

[The Olbermannson Family.]

Can we grow food there and cultivate some livestock?

[benburch is especially interested in cultivating the livestock.]

Extra cows and goats for making cheese for sale. Sell excess garden harvest. Lots creative and talented people here with skills to manufacture goods and provide services.

[There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!]

We can start a website, Uninsured Underground

["The UUmies"? "Double U"? No, that one wouldn't work, fer sure. . . .]

The ultimate unfunded mandate. Unfunded, coercive, creating a new criminal class. Hope and change!

[Hope and chains! You win today's Kewpie Doll!]

I'm too pretty to go to jail

[Don't worry, ben, it'll be FUn!]

- - - - -

BONUS PARODY:



CHANGE GANG
Tune: "Chain Gang" Original MIDI

(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
I hear somethin' sayin'
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)

(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

All day long they're sayin'
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)
(DU! AC!)

(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

All the Dems they used to love
Now they hate, you hear 'em wail
Worried 'bout insurance procurance
And goin', goin' to jail
You hear them bashin' their president
Then you hear just what it meant

That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

Can't ya hear them sayin', mmm
I'm doin' time--no insurance--I'm doin' time
Serve my sentence, it's at least a year
But meanwhile I got to live in fear

(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound Underground, worried 'bout the Change Gang
Bein' chained and detained, workin' for the Change Gang

All day long they're sayin', mmm
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Democrats lied
Give me health care, I'm angry
My, my Democrats lied . . .

6 Comments:

Anonymous Corona said...

Ooooh, a Svetzky compatriot! How nice of you to join. Try www.thepeoplescube.com. You'll have fun there.

I love it when commies try to set up communes in order to survive and make some extra $. It's so Bush/Cheney/Rove hand-wringingly fun.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Beefeater said...

KO takes the subway, for one thing.

Well that's true, but it's because he suffered a head injury years ago and isn't allowed to drive!

10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watching the Democrats implode is fun. It's times like this that I don't mind being in the minority party: just sit back and enjoy the schadenfreude.

10:40 PM  
Blogger JorgXMcKie said...

A head injury would explain a lot of things about KO, but what about all those DUmmies who agree with him?

And I just love the idea of those mental deficients trying to farm and raise livestock. I'll bet most of them can't even properly care for cats.

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Elrond Hubbard said...

"I hereby pledge that I will not buy this perversion of health care reform....I will not buy this insurance. Brand me a lawbreaker if you choose...Jail me if you must."

Keith Olbermann channels Rush Limbaugh. I suspect KO would actually enjoy jail, sharing his inner homo with DUmmie cell mates.

But KO and his DUmmie acolytes are not going to jail because breaking this law would entail taking a moral stand and accepting responsibility for one's actions.

"We'll start an outlaw commune. All we need is an old school bus."

"Can we grow food there and cultivate some livestock?"

Reads like a Cheech and Chong routine. It's easy to imagine the DUmmies drinking the kool-aid as KO does his best Jim Jones.

3:39 PM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

Talk is cheap, Keith. Actually in your case, the value actually goes below zero, so you really should be paying people to listen to yours.

10:19 AM  

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