Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Of Pirates and Patriotism: A DUmmie Dilemma



The DUmmies don't know what to do. Navy SEALs rescue an American hostage, and they have to kill several pirates in the process--pirates of color, to boot! Now normally this would be a time for the DUmmies to denounce AmeriKKKa and condemn our eeevil military. But because BlackBarry is the ostensible Commander-in-Chief at the moment, the DUmmies find themselves betwixt and between. Should we cheer or should we boo? Witness this THREAD, "RAH RAH USA. . .and to the MALCONTENTS: TOUGH SH*T."

But before we go to the DUmmies, it seems the Somalian Pirates have learned a thing or two from Brother Barack. Click the music link and sing along!

SOMALIAN PIRATES
Tune: "Lincoln Park Pirates"

In Somalia where I live, there's a, there's an outfit that'd hijack almost anything on the sea. But they deal mostly with ships, and we call 'em, "Somalian Pirates. . . ."

The vessels are out on the ocean tonight
The calm sea makes nary a splash
The merchants are haulin'
The trawlers are trawlin'
But somebody's fishin' for cash

Yes, those crewmen are mindin' their business, he said
But we got work of our own
So hijack their boats
And we'll write ransom notes
And we'll see who will float us a loan

To me, way, hey, make 'em all pay
Somalian Pirates are we
We plunder the nations
It's called reparations
We're spreadin' the wealth 'round, you see

To me, way, hey, make 'em all pay
We're not doin' anything new
When ships want to sail out
We make 'em our bailout
Somalis need stimulus too

Obama's a brother from Kenya
A leader who's canny and wise
He will softly and smooth "yes we can" ya
And rob you in front of your eyes

So we've taken a page from his playbook
And we're changin' the words that we use
No longer we'll call it a "ransom"
"Investment's" the term that we choose

To me, way, hey, make 'em all pay
Somalian Pirates are we
We plunder the nations
It's called reparations
We're spreadin' the wealth 'round, you see

To me, way, hey, make 'em all pay
We're not doin' anything new
When ships want to sail out
We make 'em our bailout
Somalis need stimulus too

And when all the ships have been boarded
And all of their owners are broke
Then we'll have to do like Barack Obama
And find some new suckers to soak

'Cause even with all of the ransoms
There's millions more dollars we need
Now for money supply it's
The Washington Pirates
Obama, Pelosi, and Reid

To me, way, hey, make 'em all pay
Somalian Pirates are we
We plunder the nations
It's called reparations
We're spreadin' the wealth 'round, you see

To me, way, hey, make 'em all pay
Now soon we'll be done with the sea
No more brazen attacks
We'll just raise the tax
Let's join the thieves in DC!

So now, mateys, let us sail over to the H.M.S. DUmmieland and see what the word is there, in Bolshevik Red, while the the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel--back now from a Lenten DUFU fast--is in the [Barackets]:

RAH RAH USA. . .and to the MALCONTENTS: TOUGH SH*T

[RUH ROH . . . I SMELL TROUBLE!]

I know this is the Democratic Underground and some of us don't like the RAH RAH sentiments expressed but TOUGH SH*T.

["USA! USA! USA!" But wait. . . Didn't Pied Piper Pitt once say this kind of cheering was imperialistic? I'm confused.]

The Maersk Alabama was delivering RELIEF SUPPLIES TO AFRICA!

[Oh, well then, I guess that makes it all right that we rescued them. If they had just been doing typical capitalist stuff, like exploiting the African-Africans, then we shouldn't have tried to save them.]

Our President was being criticized by the right for not doing enough and not moving fast enough, yet our Navy successfully rescued the captain. . .so excuse the F*CK OUT OF ME FOR SAYING RAH RAH USA

[Our Navy could not have done it without OUR PRESIDENT! RAH RAH USA! Now on to the other DUmmies. . . .]

I have to wonder why the media chooses to highlight this incident. There is always more to the story. And with Somalia there is a lot more.

[Of course Somalia has been exploited by eeevil white nations and their greedy corporations, so that's why the corporate media lapdogs make a big deal out of this.]

Your not the only one who thinks this is way overhyped.

[So they rescued an American white male. Big whoop.]

"way overhyped"? Consider this: Had it NOT worked worked out so flawlessly--- ie: had captain Phillips been killed (a very DISTINCT possibility under the circumstances), the anti-Obama machine would have gone into FRENZIED overdrive!

[So we HAD to rescue that captain guy. Otherwise, it would have been BAD FOR OBAMA!]

this story gets extra rah-rah attention because guns were involved. This is red meat to American military fetishists. . . .

[Happiness Is a Warm Gun.]

Maybe now the world can start a proactive response to stopping these type of crimes, instead of a reactive one.

[Somalia needs Midnight Basketball.]

the biggest national sunday news programs led with the piracy story while on another there was some small mention about legalizing pot, a much more worthy topic.

[Pot rights over pirates.]

couldn't the shipping co pay the 2 MIL to ensure his release and then all relevant countries do something more general to reduce the piracy. . . .

[So paying ransoms is going to REDUCE piracy??]

I suspect most Somalis involved in this practice to date will turn to something easier.

[Like applying for a government bailout.]

the somalis originally were doing it to stop illegal dumping and fishing off their coast. . . .

[Undoubtedly Bush's fault.]

And really, how much do you know or care about Somalia, and the history of the United States intervening in that country?

[We deserved it.]

This was the FIRST pirate attack on an American ship in more than 200 years. . . .

['Bout time they start attacking us again.]

You are not allowed to say nice things about America, only other countries. Cause we have done bad things - even with Obama in office USA is all evil, all the time. Wavering from that means your progressive card will be taken away. Remember, and repeat after me, America sucks, it is and always will be evil, and Iran is a far better place and you would be happier living there or cuba than here.

[I detect a note of sarcasm. Maybe you're a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!]

Just think about the fake cowboy in chief and think about what he would have done. We'd have at least one more war we had no hope of winning.

[Now Bush is blamed for a non-existent war he didn't start, over an incident he was not involved with.]

President McCain would have been killed by stress by now. Instead, this would have been handled by President... Oh. My. God.

[Palin is the new Bush.]

I don't know alot about the situation in Somalia, but from general experience, chances are the activities down there by the United States are not noble. . . .

[Default mode: America is bad.]

Why rah, rah death? People were killed, although they are bad to you.

[Pirates are people, too. Pirates have feelings. They may be bad to you, but you're a white American, so you deserve it.]

there is defiantly a good number of pro "pirate death" people here. Almost more than pro "banker death" people.

[Pro "banker death" is still in the lead.]

Now we can go back to the root cause of the Somalian Piracy and fix that problem. Illegal dumping of Toxic wastes and the overfishing of their coastal waters by other countries.

[Toxic wastes and lack of fish oil cause one to hold people hostage and demand ransoms. Restless Somali Syndrome.]

Today we are all Freepers.

[LOUSY DUMMIE TROLL!!!]

This was a small test, but an important one, and President Obama's Navy passed.

[Only because it was President OBAMA'S Navy!]

putting TOUGH SH*T in there makes you look like an arrogant american ass. . . . i will NOT recommend this thread and hyper-patriotism is just so... *yawn*

[Patriotism . . . yuk!]

I am happy about the rescue, but it doesn't address the root problems.

[Which have to be America's fault somehow.]

The root problem for the pirates is greed, laziness and stupidity. They are extorting millions and endangering innocents.

[RACIST!]

IM GONNA PUT A HUGH FLAG ON MA TRUCK SERIES! AND CHANT USA USA USA LIKE A MINDLESS MORAN. . . .

[You might be a DUmmie if you think that is funny.]

These people HATE Obama, liberals, progressives, Democrats. . . . Anyone to the left of John Birch.

[Or on the lap of Ben Burch.]

You know... this WON'T make your d*ck any bigger.

[This was Navy Seals, not Navy Cialis.]

Gosh. Have I landed on free republic by error?

[Smile! You're on DUmmie FUnnies!]

I'm not waving any flags and shouting "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" like this was the hockey team beating the Russians or something. . . .

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

20 Comments:

Blogger Tazzerman said...

First off, the USofA has had NOTHING to do with Somalia prior to the ill fated attempt to actually deliver relief supplies and food. Of course THAT situation turned out well for the US eh?

Typical libs.. History either started about 2 mins ago OR is a malliable item meant to be stretched, pulled and/or contorted into whatever shape you might need.

As is typical, the 'blame' for Somalias modern 'probelms' rest squarely on the League of Nations, the Italians, the British and the United Nations.

Even before that you can place some blame on Islam as well.

Unless of course you want to point a finger at the myriad tribes that are indigineous to the area?

Romans and Greeks?

EVERYBODY except the Americans!!!

But being TRUE progressives, blame America first, last and always.

4:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obama killed children whose only crime was wanting a better life for themselves.

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"I suspect most Somalis involved in this practice to date will turn to something easier."

Maybe they should start growing pot?

"couldn't the shipping co pay the 2 MIL to ensure his release and then all relevant countries do something more general to reduce the piracy. . . .'

Yea, that makes sense, NOT! Why should they should have to pay 2 million dollars to Somali pirates for the "right"" for them to deliver the relief supplies, the free food, to the Somali people? I guess this DUmmie was smoking some of that Somali pot.

6:17 PM  
Anonymous Classic Liberal said...

First off, the USofA has had NOTHING to do with Somalia prior to the ill fated attempt to actually deliver relief supplies and food.How do you explain "the most intense close combat since Vietnam" then, tazzerman?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Mogadishu_(1993)

As to "children whose only crime was wanting a better life for themselves", anon: piracy is a crime and always has been. The fourth pirate still in Navy custody should be summarily hanged from the yardarm like they always were in the past.

6:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Classic, that was spoken with complete sarcasm. ;-)

8:05 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"But because BlackBarry is the ostensible Commander-in-Chief at the moment, the DUmmies find themselves betwixt and between." P Jinc

Is that why I've been "betwixt and between" for the last few days, 24/7? Because of "BlackBarry"...you just had to go there. No wonder I've been so fucking flummoxed lately. Poleaxed. And I thought it was improper arch support that was screwing with my head. Silly me.

Thanks PJ. It all makes so much more sense now.

By the way, heads up. I hear the gays will be waiting for you at the teabaggin ceremonies tomorrow. BE CAREFUL!!! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT fall asleep. Especially if you snore. Like white to rice.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trog, please look up "coherent" in the dictionary. And "concise". And "cogent".

Hell, let me just give you a list to help with your written commentary:

Relevant (this is a biggie!)
Consistent
Cohesive
Veracity
Accuracy

Okay, that's enough to get you started. Happy reading!

7:22 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

I'm assuming that reading comprehension/skills are NOT your forte considering this statement "the most intense close combat since Vietnam" right after I had JUST finished pointing out that little confrontation.

The point being, the US has had virtually NOTHING to do with Somalia, past or present but yet the so-called progressives, once again, blame American first, last and always.

Oh wait, that's RIGHT... We're supposed to have:

a) dumped nuclear waste in the waters off of Somalia

b) over FISHED the waters off Somalia

c) Both

Damn, I guess I forgot my supoorting 'facts'.

11:08 AM  
Anonymous kayinmaine said...

My kid and I just bought a gross of eggs. We are going to all your tea bagging and pelting you facists as you goosestep! You Nazis wont EVER get in the way of my Barack's inlightinied America!!!!

Cling to your fake God and your sister/wives American Taliban. You are on your way to Gitmo!!!!!!

Go Spain!!! Send Wolfiwitz, chainey, Rove, Rice and Palin to The Hague!!!!!!

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Thomas F said...

Kay, the only gross eggs coming from you, is the ones that produced your retarded little offspring....

Please go back to your cave of the "enlightened" morons, and STFU.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Classic Liberal said...

I'm assuming that reading comprehension/skills are NOT your forte considering this statement "the most intense close combat since Vietnam" right after I had JUST finished pointing out that little confrontation.Your history understanding is deficient, taz. Black Hawk Down wasn't about delivering aid, but about going after Mohamed Aidid.

5:52 PM  
Anonymous Classic Liberal said...

Also, I don't blame America first... I blame altruism. If Americans were more concerned with their own self-interest than every pissant little dictator oppressing non-Americans, we wouldn't be getting into these cluster-fucks.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Trog, please look up "coherent" in the dictionary. And "concise". And "cogent". anon

Goddammit, he-who-must-not-be-named, I'm still "betwixt and between"! Jesus. Coherent? No. I'm not! How would you feel being "betwixt and between" you insensitive jerk?

I hope it wears off soon. Fuckin PJ.

1:57 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Also, I don't blame America first... I blame altruism. If Americans were more concerned with their own self-interest than every pissant little dictator oppressing non-Americans" CL

Let's break this down:

"I don't blame America first";

"I blame altruism";

"If Americans were more concerned with their own self-interest..."

So if Americans were more concerned with their own self interests, none of this would've ever happened. Right?

Who's blaming Americans?

It often seems you don't even know you're a dumbass, classic. It worries me.

2:33 AM  
Anonymous Classic Liberal said...

Read tazzerman's posts and my responses to him before spouting off trog.

If Americans were more concerned with their own self-interest we would not be wasting ("sacrificing") our blood and treasure on non-American interests. We should be leading by example, not by force.

Altruism is what deceives Americans into thinking that saving the rest of the world from their own stupidity and wasting our resources and lives of our citizens in the process is virtue.

While we're on the topic of "aid" to ass-backward "nations" why should we US taxpayers subsidize our farmers to produce more food than we can eat? Exports you say? Well guess what? Food we export is given away as foreign aid and shipped at taxpayer expense to all corners of the globe, not sold for the most part.

That is, we pay our hard-earned money to the government and the government throws it away. (Oh, yeah, that's now called "investment" not profligacy.)

Look at the results and history of the farm subsidies starting in the 1910s: we taxpayers subsidized farmers to produce more wheat than we could use, then imposed import tariffs on wheat to keep the prices high for domestic wheat sales (another farmer subsidy) which meant higher prices for consumers. Then we taxpayers loaned our money to foreigners so they could buy our wheat at those higher prices and they stiffed us on those loans (particularly Germany and Great Britain) in the 1920s.

There's an old and wise saying that goes something like: Give a man a fish and he's not hungry for a day. Teach him to fish and he's never hungry again. Foreign aid is immoral, irrational, and unjust.

It often seems you don't even know you're a dumbass, classic. It worries me.That's a classic projection trog. Stop worrying and start thinking.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Skully said...

Kudos to the SEALS for those perfect head shots..can you say pink mist baby!!!! Those are 3 less Muzzies breathing air they don't deserve. Too bad it took the 0-in-cheif 5 days to do polling, focus groups, getting permission from the UN and King Abdullah before finally making the right call. But he did make the right call. Maybe I'm being a little to hard on 0...after all this was a situation way above his paygrade.

6:28 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"If Americans were more concerned with their own self-interest we would not be wasting ("sacrificing") our blood and treasure on non-American interests. We should be leading by example, not by force." CL

Yes. CL's right. But his use of "our" seems somehow to belie his theory of self interest. Self interested people never say 'our' unless it benefits 'me'.

I'm going to start calling a Galt alert if you keep it up, Classic.

2:14 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Too bad it took the 0-in-cheif 5 days to do polling, focus groups, getting permission from the UN and King Abdullah before finally making the right call." skully shit for brains

None of this is true.

Altruistic troglamatic wish: More Haldol, skully.

Does that qualify as self-interest, CL?

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Classic Liberal said...

Each individual working in their own individual self-interest comprises the phrase "our self-interest" trog.

Are you going to go Linguistic Analyst on me?

The Galt you refer to is a fictional character: I'm not.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Classic Liberal said...

Does that qualify as self-interest, CL?Are you asking if killing the pirates was in American national self-interest? If so, the answer is definitely yes.

Their attack on an American-flagged ship and holding an American citizen hostage was Casus belli. The killing of the three was Jus in bello, as would be hanging the fourth from the yardarm. The United States would be entirely justified in turning their land bases into glass parking lots.

Pirates are not, however legitimate combatants as even the Romans recognized. I don't recall the term Romans used for combatants such as brigands, pirates, kidnappers, highway robbers, terrorists etc. but different Latin words were (and are) used to distinguish them from regular soldiers. Using military to combat such illegitimate combatants has always been recognized as legitimate.

9:01 PM  

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