DUmmies Debate Circumcision

Do you have a recently born infant son and want to spare him the pain of circumcision? Well, then circumcise him NOW! Huh? How can you spare a someone the pain of circumcision by circumcising him? Simple. Most of the people whose parents were so clueless as to not circumcise them at birth are going to volunteer to be circumcised as adults and that is when they will feel the pain. A lot of PAIN! I've met such people and they have all told me they wished their parents had circumcised them as infants. Ask anyone who was circumcised as an infant and they will all tell you they have NO memories of pain.

Anyway, circumcision is now the topic of debate among the DUmmies. What sparked it was a Wall Street Journal REPORT about how circumcision decreases the risk of contracting STDs. No surprise there. As the years go by, I keep reading report after report about the health benefits of circumcision. However, the debate rages on as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "Circumcision Decreases Risk of Contracting STDs, Study Says." So let us now watch the DUmmies debate circumcision in bloody Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who heartily endorses the health benefits of body sculpting the talleywhacker, in in the [brackets]:

Circumcision significantly reduces the risk of contracting herpes and human papillomavirus, says a new study that adds to the growing scientific evidence that the procedure helps stem the spread of some sexually transmitted diseases.

[As the Cable Guy said: "Healthy as a horse. Not a drip."]

Circumcised heterosexual men are 35% less likely to contract human papillomavirus (HPV) and 25% less likely to catch herpes than their uncircumcised counterparts, according to the study, published in this week's New England Journal of Medicine.

[And the circumcised men are a-head! (Pun intended).]

The study, led by scientists from Johns Hopkins University and Makerere University in Uganda, relied on data from the same randomized control trials in Africa that already showed that circumcision cuts in half the risk of contracting human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which can cause AIDS.

[So which would you rather have? A circumcision or AIDS? Gee, that's a toughie.]

The researchers hope the latest findings on HPV and herpes will help turn circumcision into a more widespread medical procedure. "The scientific evidence for the public-health benefits of male circumcision is overwhelming now," says Aaron Tobian, a pathologist at the Johns Hopkins Hospital and one of the study's authors.

[I pity you guys who now have to get circumcisions as adults. My circumcision isn't even a memory because I can't even remember it. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!]

In the study, researchers randomly assigned 1,684 men in Africa to undergo circumcision and tracked their health against a control group of 1,709 uncircumcised men over the course of two years ending in 2007.

[And here is how the assignment request sounded in pidgin English: "We cut wee-wee." And now on to the DUmmie "body sculpting debates...]

Nonsense. Nothing is more important the keeping the teeny tiny turtleneck. This report must be false or unimportant.

[Keep your "teeny tiny turtleneck" along with all those icky diseases tucked in the collar.]

Removing an area of loose skin where bacteria can collect reduces the chances of infection? Go figure... Seriously, is there anybody who feels strongly either way?

[Yes, the DUmmie Teeny Tiny Turtleneck Preservation Society.]

Yes, circumcision is cruel and it's a load of bullshit. If we did something similar to baby girls DUers would be screaming bloody murder.

[Um... Is it Un-PC to tell this DUmmie that boys and girls are built differently?]

comparing male and female circumcision is, well, incomparable. As my aunt put it, female circumcision takes away a woman's "happy button." I'm guessing men don't suffer the same fate.

[And this DUmmie WINS a circumcised Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

Male circumcision seems to be an attack on male sexuality -- and the ability to perform.

[It apparently hasn't hurt Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy.]

I once new a guy who had multiple organisms. Snakes, lizards, turtles, cats, dogs--you name it.

[Thow in Cornish Hens and you've described Ben Burch.]

Yes . . . and it should be stopped .... cruel behavior to newborn males . . .

[But grinding up babies inside the womb is perfectly okay with you?]

Why does this have to be so hard? Such a pain in the ass?

[Because that's the way Ben Burch likes it.]

I also haven't seen any study saying this effects first world guys, who can wash their wangs daily.

[The Chinese name for John Holmes is Wang Hung Lo.]

Look at the statue of the David . . . he has but a small nick . . .You could with a penis as nature intends it to be ---why mutilate it?

[Ben Burch's favorite statue. He loves "nicking" it whenever he visits Italy.]

"Circumcision" is loaded language. It's loaded to render trivial a permanent damage done to babies. And I'll be as emotional about the foreskin amputation practiced on me as an infant as I bloody please.

[Don't blame your performance problems on circumcision.]

True that most circumcised men don't even think about it. I didn't even understand that it was an issue until I was about 20 and a gay friend informed me about the topic.

[Were you both sitting in the steam room at the time?]

I want my nerve endings back, and more importantly the nerve endings of infants to no longer be amputated (since the former can't happen).

[Would someone out there FedEx DUmmie JackRiddler his nerve endings so he can quit whining and blaming his performance problems on circumcision?]

I never gave it a thought until I found out as an adult that half my penile nerve endings had been removed because of myths about health and God. And I talked with adults who'd lost it (as one might lose an appendix, which is not removed preemptively just because it might get an infection one day) and thus knew the big difference it made in their lives. But that would be true of any other bad practice: you only know if you know, right?

[Hey DUmmie JackRiddler! Are you also going to bitch and moan about the lost nerve endings when you cut your fingernails?]

I just asked Little Devil about this and he said that if he were uncomfortable about it at all he'd just tell me to put a sweater over his helmet.

[LOL!]