DUmmies Debate ShamWow Guy

Here is another example of how you can become a successful LOUSY FREEPER TROLL by safely building up your post count in DUmmieland. Just post on an interesting non-political topic such as this DUmmie THREAD, "Shamwow guy's handywork." Unless you reach the magic 1000 posts in DUmmieland you will remain under perpetual suspicion of being a LFT. However, if you stick your neck out and post on the political threads, your chances of giving yourself away are much greater than if you post on non-political topics such as about Vince the Shamwow guy. Your humble correspondent finds this topic fascinating. I mean, what the hell was going thru the mind of the Shamwow Guy? I mean, he is already famous as a TV pitchman so why can't he make use of that fame to pick up chicks? Is Vince's personality so horrid that he has to pay for hookers? Inquiring minds would like to know so let us now watch the DUmmies debate the arrest of the Shamwow guy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Vince will soon be pitching condoms that can also work as can openers, is in the [brackets]:

Shamwow guy's handywork

[The hooker wasn't wowed by Vince's sham pitch.]

Someone will be in here to talk about how he was the victim with the standard 'what about teh menz" victimhood stuff.

[I guess it could have been worse for Vince. Imagine if the hooker chomped down on something even more sensitive than his tongue.]

What would *you* do if someone had *your* tongue clamped down in their teeth and wouldn't let go?

[Call 911?]

I wouldn't try to buy a woman, since I don't believe in the whole sexual exploitation thing.

[Ben Burch only purchases men.]

If you bite someone's tongue and refuse to let go, how did she think he was going to react? I mean, she ought to be getting some assault charges slapped on her, too. What he did was self-defense. Of course, I think he should get charged for picking up a hooker, but that psycho bitch needs to do some time for such a sick crime.

[And Vince needs some counseling for even thinking of sticking his tongue in her mouth. Did he ever stop to think where her mouth was just that night alone?]

Um no it is believeable that he punched her to get his tongue back and yes Vince is stupid to a) be picking up hookers and b) be sticking his tongue in their mouths.

[Did he use a ShamWow to absorb those disgusting body fluids?]

Of course, everyone is going to assume that the male celebrity is telling the truth and the cheap street whore bitch slut got what she deserved.

[Actually she was an expensive street whore bitch. She cost Vince a thousand bucks. How many ShamWows can that buy?]

His fists could reach every place on her face that was hit. There were no fist hits to her mouth which is what I would expect if the hits were post biting and he was free to hit her anywhere. They are all on her eyes nose and upper face.

[CSI DUmmie.]

Maybe but I think Shammy guy did them with a right jab close in. that hit her in the eye and continued across the nose.

[ShamPow!]

Who knows but you don't have the right to maim someone by biting off their tongue

[Is that you, John Wayne Bobbitt?]

Biting someone's tongue off is a serious assault..

[Except in the upper peninsula of Michigan where it is classified as a misdemeanor.]

She's got blood in her hair!

[ShamPoo?]

Fact is, he laid into her like a punk. Unless there's more, I'd rule $100,000 + plus her meds.

[Plus a lifetime supply of ShamWows.]

$750 for a room? Do I have that right?

[Holiday Inn was booked up that night.]

Art Deco places like the Tides on Ocean Blvd are extremely expensive. What hotel was it in by the way?

[The Quickie Hour hotel.]

I've been there just a few times but the thing that stuck with me most was the drive cross the causeway from the barrier strand into Miami at night. It seemed to put Miami in a whole new light as a dazzling, cosmopolitan city. I was very impressed.

[A title shot from "Miami Vice."]

Right now I'm unemployed again but I'm still looking at jobs located down there if any open up.

[You can always pitch ShamWows down here. I was at the Dania Marine Flea Market last Sunday and there had to be at least a dozen ShamWow pitch people there.]

I'm often jealous of people who live in Florida, especially in the summertime, when the skies fill with thunderclouds in the afternoon. It's very beautiful there in summer. The sky especially. And all the snowbirds have vacated and the beaches aren't as crowded.

[I hear ya! I love those afternoon thundershowers in the summer. Temperature drops at least 10 degrees and the rain is refreshing. Then you can use a ShamWow to dry your car off.]

I'm thinking Nancy Grace will want to do a 2-hour Panel show on this one.

[Nancy Grace: A Sham minus the Wow.]

assuming she did bite him he most likely pushed her away and then went on to beat her.

[ShamPow!]

he was able to hit her on her mouth while she was biting his tongue ?

[And chew gum at the same time?]