Friday, August 08, 2008

DUmmies React To John Edwards Scandal Admission

The first thing I thought of when I heard about John Edwards admitting that he was shtooping the Hunter chick was how my pet DUmmie ants would react. The moment I came home, I took a look at my DUmmie Ant Farm to watch them form the circular mill over this scandal. So let us all take a look inside the DUmmie Ant Farm at this THREAD titled, "Edwards Admits Sexual Affair; Lied as Presidential Candidate." As usual the DUmmie ant rantings are in scandalous Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still laughing over Edwards "admission" that he was 99% truthful," is in the [brackets]:

Edwards Admits Sexual Affair; Lied as Presidential Candidate. In ABC News Interview, Edwards Says He Cheated, but Did Not Father Child

[Yeah, Edwards spent hours until the early AM visiting Andrew Young's daughter at the Beverly Hilton.]

John Edwards repeatedly lied during his Presidential campaign about an extramarital affair with a novice filmmaker, the former Senator admitted to ABC News today.

[GASP! Edwards LIED? Who woulda thunk it?]

In an interview for broadcast tonight on Nightline, Edwards told ABC News correspondent Bob Woodruff he did have an affair with 44-year old Rielle Hunter, but said that he did not love her.

[We feel so much better now knowing that it was strictly for gratuitous sex.]

Edwards also denied he was the father of Hunter's baby girl, Frances Quinn, although the one-time Democratic Presidential candidate said he has not taken a paternity test.

[Edwards needs to take the MAURY POVICH HOME PATERNITY TEST.]

Edwards said he knew he was not the father based on timing of the baby's birth on February 27, 2008. He said his affair ended too soon for him to have been the father.

[So Andrew Young got sloppy seconds? And now to laugh at the DUmmie reaction to the fall of their icon...]

I have no respect for anyone who cheats on their spouse. There are NO excuses as far as I'm concerned. It's called Divorce. It's that simple. And the fact that his wife is extremely ill, well that just goes to show what kind of person he REALLY is.

[A Bill Clinton!]

Well there goes any plans for Edwards as AG going after the media companies...

[Will he still be able to buy a PlayStation3 on the sly at Walmart?]

God, what is it about married men who can't keep it in their pants? F*ck them.

[Ben Burch did.]

The Penis will always get you in to trouble

[Is that you, Bill Clinton?]

Pisses me off. Poor Elizabeth. He's dead to me.

[But, hey, he was still "99% honest."]

What about their two little ones? How do you explain this to them??? Why don't men think of that when they unzip?

[Three little ones. Actually four little ones after Edwards unzips.]

That's the problem. All that blood in the penis makes them unable to think.,

[Every guy who ever picked up a bar hag at 4 AM is nodding his head in agreement with you.]

I am too angry to express myself civilly, but let it suffice to say he is dog dung to me. He is without a heart or a conscience. Jesus. I bought his lie hook line and sinker. Imagine what Elizabeth is going through - along with her other battles. A pox upon you, John Edwards, and your little weenie, too!

[Please don't use silly juvenile words for that body part. The proper scientific term is "talleywhacker."]

Yes every woman that is dying or fighting a major illness loves it when her husband screws somebody else. Happened to a friend of mine and it almost killed her. What a bastard.

[John Edwards is just $10 away from being rehabilitated.]

Hubby said this morning that he could imagine how a guy
would stray with an ill wife for a long time. I think that clinches it for me. I've always suspected him of cheating while I was confined to bed from 17-36 weeks with risk of losing the baby. Damn him. Now instead of being 75% sure, I'd put it at 95% sure. Damn men and their penises.

[LOL! So the Edwards affair also outed your hubby.]

The idea that Barack would even think about cheating on Michelle is so ridiculous and unbelievable that I cannot even imagine it!

[Is that you, Scarlett Johansen?]

He just ruined his political career. The person I had originally hoped would be the next President just committed political suicide.

[Perhaps Will Pitt can now become his press secretary.]

THE KID IS HIS too. He is trying to slide out of that

[Sliding into that is what caused the kid in the first place.]

Goodbye John Edwards. You are now dead weight in political circles. You are trash, total pure unadulturated trash. You're a liar and an ass. Your wife is battling cancer and you're out banging other women? You loser, F*CKING LOSER. Why didn't you just surf to a porn web site and spank the monkey really quick and rush back to your wife's side? America does NOT NEED YOU. Go away and goodbye.

[The Edwards 2012 campaign is looking forward to your contribution.]

It also looks like money was involved, he has a wife with cancer and a baby born to this woman may have been his. How much worse can it get?

[If it turns out that his other mistress was Ben Burch.]

He is a lot of things, but great isn't one. He's a pussy, a liar, a whimp, a prick. He was no leader...he was the slick talking used car salesman they warned us about. ... total fraud. The quicker he can be jettisoned out of the public limelight the quicker we can move forward.

[Why do you hate Bill Clinton so much?]

AAAAAAAAARGH! Someone quick, I'm in need of an intervention. Doctor, please up my meds!

[Stand by! Your lithium overdose is on the way!]

Hey John can I have the $100.00 back now?

[You'll get it right after Bev Harris sends you your $10 back.]

12 Comments:

Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

The thing that got me most was Empty Suit claiming he had gotten more narcisstic. That's just not possible. No one who's a big a narricist as he is can become even moreso. That simply defies logical comprehension.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

The "reality based" community takes another hit. Lying scumbag ambulance chaser acts like a lying scumbag ambulance chaser and the DUmmies are shocked, just shocked.

Still, I give them some credit, no one has blamed Rove (although I haven't checked kayinmaine).

Hilariously, several of them are attacking the MSM for giving this story "24/7" coverage. The same MSM that had spiked this story for nearly a year.

7:55 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

I feel a little sorry for his wife, but since she just posted at DailyKos that she did, indeed, know of the affair in 2006, what does it say that she helped him in this lame coverup?

If *anybody* should know what a jerk he is it is her. Why did she go along?

As for Edwards, well, he's screwed up the medical malpractice insurance industry enough to make it hard to find an OB/GYN to deliver babies, and all he got out of it was, well, millions of dollars, a huge honking mansion, and a baby with a Hollywood wannabe who's also a major skank.

Also, if these DUmmies are that upset with Edwards, how are they gonna feel if Obama gets elected and then they find out his true nature? To quote Forrest Gump, "stupid is as stupid does."

And where is troglaman with a stirring defense of Edwards? (Or at least a goalpost movement or ad hominem or attempted subject change or "Republicans are just as bad, no, no, they're way worse.")

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is it with these liberal losers and their taste in women? If you are in politics and decide to get some on the side, you will get found out sooner or later. For cryin' out loud at least get caught with someone who looks better than Monica, or clinton's other conquests, this guy is a multi millionaire and that's the best he can do? At least Monica hid her fat ass under the desk.

12:37 AM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

I can't stop laughing at SO many aspects of this.. Sorry.. I just can't. Tears are rolling down my face..

I DO feel so sorry for her and the kids though..

ReallyI do..

But the rest of this, including the DUmmies, the MSM? OMFG! I just can't stop laughing!!

And of course there's the 'Breck girl'. Oh man, there I go again!

6:35 AM  
Anonymous dutch508 said...

"Yeah, I ****ed her, but I didn't love her."

That should go over well with people, eh, John?

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a bit off topic, but it is a really funny story of Obama follower's new secret hand salute. http://www.usnews.com/blogs/washington-whispers/2008/8/7/one-nation-under-a-new-obama-salute.html?msg=1#Comments
I can't believe they have not pulled this bad idea off the web, but the creators are still offering free downloads of the poster.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous El Squidge said...

Can I get some background information here? Who is Ben Burch and what is his major malfunction? Some clarification would be much appreciated.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"Hey John can I have the $100.00 back now?"

Bev Harris is just $15.00 (inflation, you know) away from getting you a refund.

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Here's something for everyone I just thought about yesterday...how is it that Empty Suit Edwards gets raked over the coals and condemned to the lowest levels of hell while Clinton The Reprobate gets a pass from the some people for similar behavior?

Talk about selective ethics...geeze.....

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

El Squidge said...
Can I get some background information here? Who is Ben Burch and what is his major malfunction? Some clarification would be much appreciated.


He's a formerly-prolific DUmp poster, can't recall if he's banned off the top of my head, but quite possibly so, since DU has a Stalinesque tendency to keep order by lots of semi-random executions and banishments.

He was particularly notable for his, ahhh, 'Advocacy' of a certain bizarre sexual practice (for want of a better word) involving a gay partner, an orifice, and making a fist. Whether he pitched or caught, or just talked, I don't know and don't care to know.

I hope that's clear enough, because it's pretty much too disgusting to describe with greater precision.

Oh, he also talked a lot about "Sex workers," for whom he seemed to regard himself as some sort of 'organized' (so to speak) labor champion.

1:20 PM  
Blogger The Gunslinger said...

"He's a pussy, a liar, a whimp, a prick. He was no leader...he was the slick talking used car salesman they warned us about."

Um...wasn't "they" us??

And are they listening to "them" (us) about Obie?

Hell no.

And will they be saying the same thing about him in a couple of years?

Oh yeah.

It's the distinguishing characteristic of Liberals. They NEVER learn from their mistakes.

3:06 PM  

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