Saturday, August 23, 2008

DUmmies Angry With Biden Announcement

The DUmmies are angry with the way the Obama campaign announced the pick of Joe Biden as VP running mate. Yes, many are also upset with the pick itself but in this DUFU we shall cover how many in DUmmieland feel their chains were jerked by the 3 AM text message announcement when most everyone who was still awake already knew it was Biden. Oh, and for those of you waiting for the information about Biden that I have announced that will DESTROY the Obama campaign. Patience. The wheels have already been set in motion for that although even without that info, Biden will prove to be poison for Barack Obama. In fact, I suspect that Obama might even have asked Sam Nunn to run with him but got turned down and he ended up stuck with the sanity-challenged Biden. Meanwhile the DUmmies are griping about the anti-climatic text message announcement in two threads, Okay, I'm really irritated with Obama on this one and For all your pissed at the Obama campaign because of the VP leak, a couple things:. So let us now watch DUmmie disappointment in the VP announcement in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, sewing a strait jacket for Biden, is in the [barackets]:

Okay, I'm really irritated with Obama on this one.

[Did you enjoy staying awake until 3 AM learning what everyone else knew well before midnight?]

Not the Biden choice; I love Biden and think he made the best choice possible. Rather, I'm referring to the text-message debacle. I was looking forward to that moment of giddy anticipation when I would get that text message and see, for the first time, who of several options it would be. I was happy he was giving the MSM the runaround. It was going to be fresh, modern, snappy, and exciting.

[and stupid.]

Instead, I spend the whole day feeling progressively more frustrated and disappointed with the silence. Then, the story starts slowly leaking out on CNN: It ain't Clinton, it ain't Bayh, it ain't Kaine, the secret service is dispatched to Biden's house...

[And yet you stayed awake until 3 AM to find out who the pick would be. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]

So in the end, the story comes out at 10pm Friday night, his supporters feel toyed with, and by the time The Message goes out, everyone will have already known it for 12 hours. Yeah, "the media fixated on him today," but they would have if he had announced it at 5pm, too. Hell, he coulda really thrown them for a loop and announced it in the middle of their evening broadcasts. Yeah, he got a bunch of new email addresses and phone numbers, but that doesn't mean he had to play with us.

[Does Michelle know that Barack has been playing with you?]

So, um, great execution, guys. Sure hope you know what you're doing, because it feels to me like you tried to stretch this thing out just a day too far.

[As we watch the Obama campaign collapse in the sunset, let us now moveon to the other DUmmies...]

I Feel Used

[And abused. Poor widdle DUmmie.]

Maybe Obama...Thought we would have better things to do on a Friday night than spend every second of it on the internet with CNN in the background. If we had all gone out and had fun like normal people, we wouldn't know it was Biden. We could be waking up in the morning with our hangovers to a text message SURPRISE!

[I'm sure that Pied Piper Pitt woke up this morning with a hangover.]

I still say, Good Play, Obama Camp! They ruled the news with a carrot and a stick for four solid days.

[Congrats Obama for jerking our chains!]

AFTER he notified Bayh and Kaine, BEFORE that news leaked - that's when he should have done it.

[He didn't have to notify Hillary because she wasn't even considered in the first place. Hee! Hee!]

Meanwhile, the media has been talking about how much sense Biden makes (instead of trashing him) and McCain leaked that Romney will be his running mate (true or not) and nobody gave a damn. Hah!

[My theory is that in the future only Mormons can pass the vetting process for Veep because of their squeaky clean lives. Of course, there is always Glenn Beck to ruin that theory.]

This stuff about Biden didn't break until most people were asleep.

[I went to sleep around 10 PM and already knew it was Biden.]

Yeah, but what about those of us on Guam?

[Try moving to American Samoa.]

He should have broke it this evening. Made no sense to stretch it out this far for Biden, the obvious choice. But whatever. He knows what he's doing.

[I BEEEEELEEEEEVE in the infallibility of the Lightworker!]

I think it was a brilliant ploy. IMO, the best thing Obama has ever done.

[I would hate to see the second best thing that Obama has ever done.]

Blame Clinton, Bayh, and Kaine. They were the ones that leaked they weren't the pick.

[And next week, Hillary will make him PAY!]

Maybe they got tired of the game too, and just wanted the reporters to go the f*ck away.

[Biden gave the game away when he bought bagels for the reporters.]

Apperently, Biden has passed the discipline test.

[LOL!!!]

Has anyone actually SEEN the secret service at Biden's house? I'll wait for the official announcement.

[Posted a DUmmie at 12:19 AM as he prepared to fight Mr. Sandman for nearly 3 more hours.]

They let this go about a day or two longer than they should have. Of course it was going to leak, after they called all the people who weren't picked. Now the text message will seem kind of dumb.

[DUmb-mie.]

If he had announced today, that would have overshadowed the "number of houses" story, which I think is really important.

[And that house story is pretty much the highlight of Obama's campaign.]

If it is Biden, I agree it has been badly fumbled.

[It's been badly fumbled.]

Remember that DUers are not like most people. We are political junkies who stay up until 2:00 am to hear the latest rumor. Most people went to bed hours ago with no clue Biden is probably it.

[While you DUmmies stayed up all night and still don't have a clue.]

Poor decisions on this one.

[Including the choice of Biden.]

This is looking sloppy. What happened to the text messaging and the campaign discipline? I'll wait for the text message and take Obama at his word.

[Proclaimed the DUmmie at 1:27 AM.]

And we've been sitting here all week trying to figure it out 24-7. Wasn't the point of this kinda to beat the text message. So yeah, we basically got what we asked for, but f*ck Bayh for officially leaking.

[Hillary told Bayh to rain on Obama's parade.]

Was it like the scene in a Christmas Story where he uses his secret decoder ring to decipher the secret code and it says!!!!!! .......Be Sure To Drink Your Ovaltine.

[And you DUmmies ......Be sure to Drink Your Kool-Aid. Now on to the other DUmmie thread...]

For all your pissed at the Obama campaign because of the VP leak, a couple things:

[DUmb and DUmb-mie.]

Many here feel used by the campaign and disappointed that they won't be the first to know. Folks, the campaign still hasn't broken that pledge. They have yet to OFFICIALLY announce Obama's running mate, and when that happens, it will still be done via text message.

[Yeah. It's 1:34 AM but some DUmmies are going to stay up until 3 AM to find out what is already known.]

The motivation for the mass message was to tell mainsteam media, "screw you!" and honor the grassroots activists and citizens who had built this campaign. Even if the AP is correct and it turns out to be Biden, the campaign has still respected its promise to tell the voters directly via text and e-mail who the running mate will be.

[The Obama campaign was having FUn making its robots stay up until the wee hours for to find out what was already known.]

We haven't been used, so stop complaining. I'm going to be told who Obama's veep is at the same time as Candy Crowley, John King, Chuck Todd, Katie Couric. It's really remarkable that despite these leaks, I will officially be in the know when all these insider reporters are. It really is OUR campaign.

[I'm picturing this DUmmie guzzling down coffee and slapping himself in the face just to find out at 3 AM what was already known.]

Besides, while I'd be thrilled with Biden in the #2 slot, a part of me thinks this is the greatest headfake in the history of politics. Remember, these are the "Florida goes for Gore, now Bush, now too close to call" networks we're talking about. You may also know them as the "Obama will win New Hampshire by 10-15 points" networks.

[Well, Obama did pick the greatest fake in politics.]

You are rationalizing a PR screwup...if it's true. I'm still taking Obama at his word. If you can't keep something tight, don't make big promises that you can. Also, the question becomes, did the "leak" get out before others were notified that they were not the ones? One doesn't have to be "pissed" to see a bungle here.

[I saw a bungle just in the choice of Biden.]

Even worse if he thinks Biden won't destroy his campaign with his mouth.

[I think Biden's recorded words out of his mouth already destroyed his campaign.]

Obama overplayed his hand and the press said screw you. This is all so unprofessional and un presidential. It makes me wonder about Obama.

[You're just now starting to wonder about Obama?]

The Obama Camp played this one up big, the text message thing, and now they have egg on their face. Part of the thing I want is a person who knows when the gig is up, and doesn't try to squeeze all emotion until they fall flat.

[An omelette named Joe.]

He needs to find out who leaked.

[And hit him with a wet noodle.]

If some pissed off frontrunner didn't get chosen (Evan Bayh), who's to say they didn't leak out of spite?

[Bayh would have been chosen until Team Obama realized the jokes about "Obama Bayh" bumper stickes. Now they are stuck with "Obama bin Biden."]

and how silly to have secret service protection before texting a million people?

[Texting takes priority over security.]

If they keep on like this the Obama 08 campaign may end up the stuff of legend for anyone that looks at campaign strategy.

[Yes, it will serve as a classic example on the WRONG way of campaigning.]

28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, G-d, the DUmbasses' agony is so delicious! I can feel the aftermath of a thrill running down my leg!

11:50 AM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...

I still can't believe he picked slow Joe. I just can't see Mr. Hair Plugs as a VP. Bwahahahahaha!!!

What do we call this duo? How about "Smug and Plug?"

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think he plagiarized those hair plugs

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The motivation for the mass message was to tell mainsteam media, "screw you!" and honor the grassroots activists and citizens who had built this campaign.

Riiiight. Because the media and Obama have been at so many odds. As if the MSM has been the thorn in Obama's side...Good grief, put down the coke-laced weed. Whoever made this quote is on a completely different planet, in a completely different universe.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous muh-oon said...

I loved the Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football comparison. This thread makes me think of true believer Linus waiting up all night for the Great -text message- pumpkin.

1:32 PM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

A man who's been in the Senate for 143 days selects a running mate who's been in the Senate 35 years. All that does is highlight B.O.'s lack of experience.

Biden has a tendency to ramble and verge on incoherence, a liberal Professor Irwin Corey. The Donks have selected two men notorious for their gaffes, what were they thinking?

Still, McCain will probably select an even worse runnning mate.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

I mean with Joe Biden you get the first Euro-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice looking guy...I mean, that's storybook man.

...Obama just said that, I think.

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

I am surprised that they picked Blowhard Biden, the plagiarizing pissant from Delaware...

Obama desperately needs help, and, if anyone can tell me just what it is ol' "plugs" brings to the party, I'd truly like to hear it!

The clones on MSNBC are spinning Biden so hard it's pathetic. "Ordinary Joe" is going to counter the 'elite, effete', side of Obama".

Oh, really? Biden is a rank, old school, Kennedy clone. Liberal as they come, full of his own self-importance and holding a record of raunchy doin's in the Senate that is going to be a great, stinking Albatross for the Dems.

Way to pick 'em, Obamatons! I'm beginning to think that you'd need directions to fuck 'up'.

4:20 PM  
Anonymous John New Orleans fitness said...

Slow Joe Plugs Biden - arrogant, boorish, bright, clean and articulate, serial-plagiarizing, Dunkin-Donut-frequenting, elitist, grandstanding, narcissistic, mean-spirited, cerebral welterweight and consummate DC insider. What was BO thinking?

5:42 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Muh-oon, that was hilarious!

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Muh-oon said...

Thanks susieq2cute- the dummie funnies perspective on this whole election has been really hilarious. I dont think I have ever enjoyed a presidential election this much.

10:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure there are plenty of threads where DUmmies explained why not to vote for biden. Surely, he was looked over and discarded, and I'd love to see what was in those threads!!

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harass any cancer patients lately, PJ?

Good times, huh?

10:39 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

anon, what with hassling retards like you we hardly have time for others. Or were you thinking of John "Silk Pony" Edwards when you made that remark?

Elrond, I'm thinking the figuring is that Obama and Biden average aboutr 18 years in the Senate.

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 10:39pm,

Cancer patients don't deserve derision. They can't help how they are. DUmmies can theoretically think for themselves and are capable of making choices.

Therefore they are as open to heckling as the pitcher that throws ball 4 with bases loaded. Now imagine ball 4 was thrown as a wild pitch hitting the ump in the face. Now imagine all runners scoring because the pitcher and all the fielders attacked the ump becasue they blamed him for the wild pitch. Now ramp that insanity up a few notches.

Then you have the DUmmies.

11:32 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"A man who's been in the Senate for 143 days selects a running mate who's been in the Senate 35 years. All that does is highlight B.O.'s lack of experience." elrond

Ya know...I'm done with this 'lack of experience' shit. How much "experience" did our current president have? Clinton? Reagan? Kennedy? This 'lack of experience' frame is complete and utter bullshit. It didn't matter before and it doesn't matter now, sheeple.

This would be a lot more scary if PJ put up just one post about Biden. It would be fucking bone-chilling if you all didn't care. Happily, you do.

3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Ya know...I'm done with this 'lack of experience' shit. How much "experience" did our current president have? Clinton? Reagan? Kennedy?"-troglaman

This is not difficult information to find troglaman. Bush was a state governor, as was Clinton and Reagan. That is executive experience. Kennedy was a US Representative for 6 years and a Senator for 7 years. Granted, Congress is not executive experience and smarmy politics tend to go hand in hand with the majority of congressmen. But despite the fact that the "Buck" didn't "stop with him" he still had more than half a year in the Senate for experience. "Half a year" is me being generous, Obama doesn't even have that. Not to mention Kennedy was more conservative by today's standards than McCain.

7:54 AM  
Anonymous elrond hubbard said...

T-bone,

What anonymous 7:54AM said. The lack of experience 'frame' is not complete and utter bullshit, admit it, you'll feel better.

Teaching law and street activism with '60s retreads make for a slim resume. In the 2000 elections the Democrats carped incessantly on Bush's supposed lack of political and executive experience. In 2008 it suddenly doesn't matter. The irony.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"In the 2000 elections the Democrats carped incessantly on Bush's supposed lack of political and executive experience. In 2008 it suddenly doesn't matter. The irony." elrond

So what? Bush won. He did not have the experience. You, at the time, didn't care. Now you do. That makes you a flipfloppy hypocritical wiener. Sorry.

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"So what? Bush won. He did not have the experience"-troglaman

Again you seem to be avoiding the truth that Bush did have executive experience. Being a governor of a state like Clinton before him and Reagan before him gives one executive experience.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Again you seem to be avoiding the truth that Bush did have executive experience. Being a governor of a state like Clinton before him and Reagan before him gives one executive experience." anon

I see. Does little Johnny have "executive experience"? Because, if he does, it comes from the Senate. I'll let you take it from here, dumbass.

2:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I see. Does little Johnny have "executive experience"? Because, if he does, it comes from the Senate. I'll let you take it from here, dumbass."-troglaman

Do you have short-term memory loss or can you not simply read a few posts above your own. Your ability to look agressivly foolish impresses even me.

7:40 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Your ability to look agressivly foolish impresses even me." anon

Thank you. You're actually better at it than me.

State governors have "executive experience", right? Bush, Reagan, and Clinton. Was McCain a State governor? No. So shut the hell up about this "executive experience" shit.

Listen, you lemmings. This "He isn't experienced" thing is a concept not rooted in history. It's a little pill. In truth, when things aren't working, 'experience' becomes a liability. Sort of a fact of life morons like you, anon, don't quite grasp.

It's not working, you dumbass.

1:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This "He isn't experienced" thing is a concept not rooted in history"-troglaman

Actually it is. Very few Presidents ever came from Congress. Your little profanity laced diatribes aside, It must be a herculean effort to ignore the obvious information provided for you. So congratulations on your determination!

Now, regarding your problem issue with McCain's experience, I again direct your attention to the example made about Kennedy as per your request. Lacking executive experience he at least had some experience in both houses of Congress. By "some" I mean more than 150 or so days. He also had the ability to speak using language that didn't require plattitudes or applause lines.

The information was there as well as implication. I'm sorry you chose not to pay attention. We could have resolved this discussion long ago and you could have saved your repetitive tag lines ('dumb___' and 'shut the he__ up') for more current DUmmie FUnnies posts. You are the witty one.

Now it's time for you to get a few curse words ready and start ignoring the facts provided for you. Again.
Ready? Go.

9:20 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"He also had the ability to speak using language that didn't require plattitudes or applause lines." anon

McCain doesn't engage platitudes and applause lines? Sure, poopy head. Then why don't you tell me why, since "Very few Presidents ever came from Congress", this means McCain is more qualified than Obama, stupobrain. You talk in circles.

At least I'm not being profane (even tho I'd be saying exactly the same thing if I WAS being profane). Never the less, you're a stupobrained poopy head. Know why?

Because you're wrong about everything, you self-justified, mutated, incestual lemming.

2:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Because you're wrong about everything, you self-justified, mutated, incestual lemming."-troglaman

Very good, responding to my suggestion is a sign of a good student. I like how you modified your invective to look less grumpy. It didn't work but, "A" for effort.

"stupobrain.You talk in circles."-troglaman

Actually no, circular reasoning is when someone uses X to prove Y, and Y to prove X. My statements about Bush, Clinton, and Reagan regarding executive experience were true but had nothing to do with my statements regarding Kennedy and McCain/Obama. That was a different argument.

If you'll look again you'll notice I was using X to prove Y, and Y to prove Z. I'm confident I won't have to break this down for you into more basic models than that. I mean, you once wrote you had a graduate degree so this shouldn't be as hard as you're making it.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous susieq2cute said...

Yes, anon, tman has a graduate degree from the University of the Eternally Stupid, his favorite university. You'll notice he raves about it all the time. It's mascot is the raving moonbat. It's school colors black on black. Tman was it's most outstanding graduate. His family is so very proud of him, except they wish he'd get a job and move out of Mom's basement, now that he has that college degree.

4:08 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"...except they wish he'd get a job and move out of Mom's basement, now that he has that college degree." susie

Mom's basement...again...creepy.

12:51 AM  

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