Tuesday, December 04, 2007

"HAHAHAHA": DUmmies unhappy that Republicans are happy!



DUmmieland is not a happy place. Stroll its gloomy streets--Anger Avenue, Depression Drive, Looney Lane, BDS Boulevard--and you will see scowling faces, grumbling grimaces, and frustrated frowns. So it's no surprise that a recent survey shows that Republicans feel much happier and healthier than Democrats. But of course the DUmmies are not at all happy that Republicans are happier than they are, as demonstrated in this THREAD, "HAHAHAHA: Gallup sez Republicans are more mentally healthy," and this THREAD, "Republicans have excellent mental health -- in their own minds."

So now let's find our happy place and read the reactions of the down-in-the-DUmps DUmmies, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your happy, humble guest correspondent, Smilin' Charlie Henrickson, telling the DUmmies to TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE-DOWN, is in the [brackets]:

HAHAHAHA: Gallup sez Republicans are more mentally healthy

[HAHAHAHA: They're coming to take me away, HA-HA. . . .]

PRINCETON, NJ -- Republicans are significantly more likely than Democrats or independents to rate their mental health as excellent. . . . Fifty-eight percent of Republicans report having excellent mental health, compared to 43% of independents and 38% of Democrats.

[Must have caught the Democrats on a good day.]

It is funny though, closed mined people rate themselves are healthy.

[A mined is a terrible thing to spell.]

Makes sense to meeeeeeeeeee... Our mental health has significantly deteriorated since ... 2000!

[The Year of Living Derangerously.]

One Bush atrocity after another takes its toll.

[LOUSY FÜHRER TOLL!]

Think about it. They're morans.

[The Moran Majority.]

I rate MYSELF as drop-dead GORGEOUS, young, healthy. . . .

[Is that you, benburch?]

IMO, anyone who admits that he's nuts is probably right. And anyone who denies that he's nuts is probably wrong. But that's just my opinion, and I'm probably nuts.

[That last part we can all agree on.]

The Pukers bars should be the opposite of what we see. . . .

[Pie-eyed Piper Pitt spends a lot of time in Puker bars.]

That guy sleeping on the exhaust vent, his underwear outside his pants with urine stains and caked vomit is really . . .

[. . . Pitt holding his "WILL SHILL FOR FOOD" sign.]

It's because the Pukes are driving us insane!!!

[A short drive.]

If one is happy being a bigoted, money-grubbing, closed minded fool...

[Let's leave George Soros out of this.]

People who think their ancestors rode dinosaurs can talk about mental health?

[People who think we evolved from monkeys can talk about mental health?]

But at least these guys like Mike Huckabee are personable, witty, and charming psychopaths.

[Must take after the previous governor of Arkansas.]

When a Republican hears voices in his head, he regards it as a miracle. . . .

[To quote a DUmmie, "Rove is some mysterious God of politics & mind control."]

When a Democrat hears voices in his head, it worries him a bit.

[Time to visit Club Med!]

17 Comments:

Anonymous Dubya said...

Hilarious that all the comments seem to reflect their own state of mind so accurately ...

10:45 PM  
Anonymous Dubya said...

On second thought, maybe that isn't so funny........

10:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, nearly 100% of convicts say they are innocent. Does that make them Republicans?

10:57 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Of the 100% of convicts who say they are innocent, perhaps as many as 10% are. There is some chance, therefore, that they're Republicans. The guilty 90% are definitely Democrats, as evidenced by the lengths to which the Democratic Party will go to get them to be allowed to vote (or to let them vote illegally).

"It's because the Pukes are driving us insane!!!

[A short drive.]"

More like a gimme putt.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd say that same self-diagnosis applies to political affiliation. Of the Republicans who claim stable mental health, maybe 10% are correct.

Really, it's not political at all. Anyone who claims perfect mental health through self-diagnosis is probably nuts.

11:22 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"So it's no surprise that a recent survey shows that Republicans feel much happier and healthier than Democrats." PJ

Let's see what else the survey shows:

"On the other hand, more Republicans than Democrats say they feel frustrated about the election, 39 percent to 28 percent. Eleven percent of Republicans say it bores them, compared with 7 percent of Democrats."

Maybe Dems are less happy because they know things have gone to shit. Make sense? Imagine yourself sitting in a big pile of warm, stinky, horse shit. Would you be happy? Maybe those inclined to say they're happy about sitting in shit is just further evidence they're deluded.

Here's another finding of the study:

"Eighty-three percent of both Republicans and Democrats say they are sometimes or frequently stressed, and 46 percent of both say their lives seem out of control at least sometimes. More women report stress than men, 84 percent to 79 percent."

Everybody's friggin happy!!!! Right PJ? This survey proves it.

2:01 AM  
Anonymous Anon 1:50 said...

Surveys are collections of data. They don't actually "prove" things.

"Maybe Dems are less happy because they know things have gone to shit..."

Conversely, (or is it inversely?), perhaps Republicans are feeling more happy because things are going much better!

Iraq is improving, the economy persists in perking along, The Goracle's weather circus is fraying around the edges (and he abandoned the faithful for purely capitalist reasons), Congressional Dems can't get a break, and the Dem side of the presidential race is between Hillary, Edwards and Obama.

Moe? Meet Larry and Curley Joe.

True, our presidential candidates are not setting the world on fire, but, speaking personally, I don't care. We'll wring 'em out, weed out the losers and pick one.

I'm going with the most likely candidate to defeat Hillary, and if he doesn't meet all of my criteria, that's ok. 'Close' is good enough.

I will then vote, and we will win.

See me smile!

(BTW, don't these oddballs have spellcheck? Sheesh!)

7:02 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"Everybody's friggin happy!!!! Right PJ?"

Well, except for Troglaman who becomes a bit unhinged at the thought of people being happy.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Rodolfo said...

Well, except for Troglaman who becomes a bit unhinged at the thought of people being happy.

QED Ray

11:52 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Conversely, (or is it inversely?), perhaps Republicans are feeling more happy because things are going much better." Anon

Are you a grape or strawberry man?

"Surveys are collections of data. They don't actually "prove" things." Anon

Don't they? Sorry. I thought PJ titled this post "HAHAHAHA": DUmmies unhappy that Republicans are happy!"...Republicans are happy. Declarative, don't you think? In other words, PJ offers this survey up as proof positive Republicans are happy.

"Eighty-three percent of both Republicans and Democrats say they are sometimes or frequently stressed."

So, the Rep's report themselves as being happy even if 83% of everyone surveyed in this "collection of data" are all stressed out. Dems reported themselves less happy while the Reps are bravely falling all over themselves in little fits of happy hysteria. God love 'em.

More proof you're all nuts. Keep it up.

1:39 AM  
Blogger The Gunslinger said...

Trog says:

"PJ offers this survey up as proof positive Republicans are happy."

Well not actually, Trog. He's just having FUN...you know, laughing at Liberals...being HAPPY!


Even talking about Republicans being happy pisses ole Trog off.

Man, it must be hell inside that head.

1:50 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Well not actually, Trog. He's just having FUN...you know, laughing at Liberals...being HAPPY!" GreatBigGunslinger

Is that a line from one of the 'Saw' movies? It sounds vaguely familiar. Texas Chainsaw maybe?

And who says I'm not getting a kick out of you bunch of lemmings?

2:10 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

By the way, you sound like a really, really happy guy, Gunslinger. Your joyful defense of your big, happy family was truly inspirational in a demonic sort of way. But it worked for me.

2:34 AM  
Blogger Britt said...

Resorting to the ad hominem means you lose sir. Calling someone demonic basically means you're our of arguments.

I would argue that Republicans are happier then Democrats. Certainly we take less happy pills per capita then the residents of DU.

I mean, it's logical in it's own way. If you believe the government has given us everything good then it conversely must also be the cause of all bad things. Thus, every bad thing is the fault of George Bush.

Actually I see in the residents of DU a religion of sorts. But it isn't really the traditional monotheistic type. Instead, George Bush serves as the source of ultimate evil. Everything bad happens because of him, everything good happens in spite of the best efforts of the Great Evil. So it's like the opposite of the Abrahamic religions where you have a god who is the Creator and the source of all good. The DUmmie mythos would go something like:

In the beginning there was a great evil. Ronaldus Maximus and his lackey Bush the Elder reigned. Though times were good, they were not equally good. Those who worked harder got richer then those who worked less. But then out of the Badlands rode a red faced crusader. With his companion, The Warrior Queen, Klin-tonn the Great restored the land to prosperity. Other then the slaughter of an opposing village and three small wars against foreign powers, the land was at peace. Then Bush the Younger rode from the Evil Lands of Teckzazz to challenge Klin-tonn the Great. Klin-tonn, weak from constant struggle against the forces of the Vast Evil Conspiracy, sent his champion, Algore, to slay the demon. But the evil was victorious, due to the Most Dark Council of the Nine's intervention. The Warrior Queen and Klin-tonn retreated into the wilds. Algore, his mind broken by defeat, wandered the land, crying prophecy of doom and destruction. Now the Warrior Queen rides once again for the White City, to challenge the Vast Evil Conspiracy. Yet some think she is not up to the task. The Dark Ranger of the Lake is young and dynamic, ready to fight. Sonofmillworker represents the common man and has perfect hair. The Elf of the Cleaved Lands represents true purity of soul and mind. But the evil is also rising. The one they call Strange Faith attempts to win allies. The Sleepy Attorney thinks he is the right man for the job. The Healer of Teckzazz proclaims a new path. The Hermit of the Badlands claims a divine mission. A warrior rides from the North, speaking strange words and repeating a phrase of power: Ninelevenn, Ninelevenn. The gathering storm bodes not well for the forces of good, but they have faith. Certainly Algore will ride from his holy quest in order to save the forces of light and truth.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Here we go. (Thanks Britt)

"Resorting to the ad hominem means you lose sir. Calling someone demonic basically means you're our of arguments." Britt

You're right. I played the demon card and maybe I shouldn't have. I'm only human.

"Now the Warrior Queen rides once again for the White City, to challenge the Vast Evil Conspiracy" Britt

Anyone not catching the clever nuance here is a bloody idiot. But here's the line that creeps me out and disturbs my sleep:

"The Hermit of the Badlands claims a divine mission."

I think we all know what that means whether we do or not. Creepy.

As Britt explains, in a slightly mythological/Tolkien sort of way, there's obviously much more going on here than meets the eye.

"Certainly Algore will ride from his holy quest in order to save the forces of light and truth." Britt

This is so right on I can't believe it. You may be an insane wingnut, Britt, but you are so totally tapped into what's going on. Cudos

4:46 AM  
Blogger Britt said...

Oh man...silly lefties, judging someone based on a joke. No sense of humor.

Well let's see. As an atheist, The Hermit of the Badlands (Huckabee) scares the shit out of me. Anyone who thinks their policy is directed by the Lord God Himself is not going to get my support. He might possibly get my vote if he gets the nomination, but he won't get money, time, or defense of his ideas and policies from me.

Actually Huckabee and Hillary are the same. They both think that the purpose of government is spreading their own agenda. They both want to raise taxes, increase the scope of government, and generally mold the government into Big Brother. Which as a libertarian I am totally opposed to.

I don't think calling Hillary the Warrior Queen is an insult. She's feisty, and she stands up for what she believes in. I just happen to disagree with her on policy. Domestic policy. I think she would be decent on foreign policy. Her domestic policy is anathema to me though. I like what civil rights I have left too much to let another Clinton into the White House.

1:42 AM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

"Oh man...silly lefties, judging someone based on a joke. No sense of humor." Britt

I got the narrative the first time and, if you'll notice, pretty much agreed with you.

We could go round and round about the tax thing because these wars are a big buttload of a tax thing whether you want to frame it that way or not. I don't know enough about your position on the wars. However, I figure anyone supporting the wars and complaining about the Democrat's fiscal irresponsibility is crazy. It's as simple as that.

I meant what I said about the Hermit of the Badlands. He scares the shit out of me too. Truly. I think what people don't understand about us lowly non-believers is that God never enters into the equation. Not that He shouldn't, of course. Far be it from me to declare what God should or shouldn't be doing. But anyone saying they understand God (unknowable by definition), is nuts. No ifs or buts about it.

Anyway, I know I'm a smartass most of the time but you misjudged me. I liked your post.

4:02 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home