Tuesday, November 13, 2007

KOmmies Mourn the Loss of Candidate Gore

Oh Mighty Goracle! We had such faith in you as our savior to fight back against the deadly scourge of the EVIL Republicans. And now you have let us down with your announcement that all your devotees should immediately cease any efforts on your behalf. Such is the mood now in KOmmieland as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Word from Al Gore's Office: Stop Ballot initiatives." So let us now watch the KOmmies mourn the loss of the Mighty Goracle from the 2008 campaign while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that his Global Warming shtick is starting to wear thin, is in the [brackets]:

It is painful for me to write these words, I just got this letter from Karen Wunderman Chief of Staff at AlGore.org

[The Goracle is too busy hunting down the ManBearPig.]

"We have received a communication from a member of Al Gore’s staff discouraging our efforts to put Al Gore’s name on any primary ballots. This includes California, New York, Massachusetts, and the write-in effort in New Hampshire, as well as any other states that are working to get him on the ballot. Accordingly, effective immediately, we are recommending that all groups cease their signature collection and related fund-raising activities."

[The Goracle will now only consider becoming President if it is done by acclamation, not election.]

"...We’re all reeling and in a bit of a state of shock, and our main objective right now is to get people to stop working for something we’ve been discouraged from pursuing. Beyond that, we recognize that for many this will feel like getting hit by a Mack truck. It’s impossible to convey the deep disappointment we all feel, but we’ve been to hell and back again with this, and just as we hung together in the past, we’ll grieve together and get support from the community we built. Regardless of how we attempt to deal with this blow, we should at least now be able to turn our attention back to family, friends, and jobs that have been neglected over these long months of hard work. We built a community of support and supporters, and I believe our lives were enriched for having known each other and worked together for this cause we believe in so strongly. Many of us have formed permanent bonds with people in this movement that transcend the political ideology that brought us together in the first place. These are ties that will last a lifetime."

[The Goracle worshippers have been hit by a Mack truck.]

"...There are no words to express our sorrow at having to deliver this news, but I’m afraid it is real, and the request needs to be heeded."

[Let the mourning period for Candidate Goracle begin!]

Though not completely unexpected. Just wish they would have said this sooner. At least it would have felt like only a VW Bug.

[Squashed like a VW Bug by a Mack truck.]

I wonder what made him finally decide? I guess the opportunity to make a few billion dollars in new energy industries is pretty luring, even to an ultimate idealist.

[Shilling carbon credits to liberal suckers is highly lucrative.]

I am very, very sad. I don't know what to say. I was working on a presentation to send him tomorrow. I guess it's over and I cannot support any other candidate because I think they are all politicians as usual. We don't need a politician as our president, and we certainly do not need Hillary. It makes me sick and I have to admit, it makes me angry. I thought he was a man with something great... something visionary and something solid we could trust. However, I can see that he doesn't get it either or he would be running. Sadly, I sign off and wish all of you some sweet dreams. I'm sorry that our candidate didn't take the opportunity to save America from Hillary and the corporatists. Very, very sad. Be well.

[Sniff! You want a hankie?]

But don't give up. Work in your own meek ways, but work nonetheless. See how far things will go without the bullshit. Work for biodiversity and all the little salamanders, the corporatists won't know defeat if it hits them on the nose. Maybe they will. Work anyway.

[Save the Salamanders! That is the legacy of the Mighty Goracle.]

I wish his office had said something a couple of months ago.

[What part of NO don't you understand?]

like before I donated ~$400 or so to the various draftgore related groups, and spent ~25 hrs of my personal time (over ~2 weekends) gathering signatures to get his name on the primary ballot in Michigan....all which appear to have be wasted efforts....(but at least we can say that "we tried" !!).... I have zero motivation to really participate in any of the other candidates campaigns for the primaries...

[You are just $10 away from drafting Al Gore.]

and I can't help but note the timing of his venture capital arrangement. Did a better deal just come along? Yes, it's time to move on...but I'm probably writing him in for the primary, as in: "Al Gore: Venture F*cking Capitalist!"

[Money talks, BS walks.]

I'm not giving up the ghost until Al tells me in person (or on the phone) that he's not running.

[The Tooth Fairy will whisper into your ear before that happens.]

But today, on NPR, in answering questions, he was just not straight in his answers. Still wanting to have it both ways? I don't know, but I can really see why so many people have taken his ambiguous messages as encouragement to proceed.

[When the Goracle adjusted his tie with a raised eyebrow, that was the secret signal for all his worshippers to waste more time and money on his non-campaign efforts.]

Not buying his books. If he was stringing us along to sell books, it's wasted on me. I believe the best man for the job chose to ignore that possibility. Maybe, it's not for me to judge, but when that many people want you so desperately to run, it seems awfully selfish not to.

[The Goracle still has a warehouse full of his books to sell on eBay.]

My expectations will lie with someone else. Not John Edwards. He's what we call in NYC a sheister.

[Shyster but perhaps "sheister" is the best spelling of that word to describe the Breck Girl.]

I'm sure you've been reading Naomi Wolf... it's not looking good for our country.

[According to the former Alpha Male consultant of the Goracle, we are already a fascist state.]

See you tomorrow. There are a lot of windmills out there. You'll find me tilting at them.

[Can Al Gore be your Sancho Panza?]

He said no and there is no other candidate. I'm not going to support any of them... and it's really not important because they are all the same.

[Said the KOmmie planning on hibernating until 2009.]

Depressing. Very depressing.

[Break out the Prozac!]

There's a lot of us working hard to draft Gore out there so it's important to recommend this diary. It's also the last nail in the coffin to us (Democrats) being a real opposition party for the near future. All Hail King Hillary.

[All Hail the Hildebeast!]

I sent him love and light and healing for his heart and hope he is successful at whatever he decides to do. I'm very disappointed but I too have plenty to do. I'm going to work on impeachment. Join me...

[Okay, as soon as I am done quilting some blankets.]

has the email's authenticity been verified? It is not hard to send out an email under someone else's account. Why would Gore himself not make a public statement on this? In the past, he has done so personally and unambiguously.
I am preparing for the possibility that Gore might not run, but we do not yet have proof that this has transpired.

[A Goracle e-mail Truther speaks up.]

It just doesn't feel right that Gore would end it like this. I am not saying for sure that this is a prank or a malicious attempt by someone to bring a premature halt to the Draft Gore movement. But it could very well be one of those. As I pointed out above, the email could easily be forged. The timing is also weird--sometime in the middle of the night. Like I said, I'm prepared for the worst. But I am not convinced yet that this email is authentic.

[Also intriguing is that the Goracle e-mail was sent from WTC7.]

The Gore announcement was the last nail in the coffin. Not only for his draft campaign, but very possibly for democracy in America.

[Will the last Goracle supporter leaving America please turn off the light on the way out? ...And now a video presentation by Al Gore warning us about a much more serious threat than Global Warming.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If verified, the country can breathe a sigh of relief.

When I think of how close we were to having "The Goracle", and "Flip-Flop" Kerry as President, I hit the knees and thank the Almighty for his kind intercession.

This'll wrap up Al, and the whole Global Warming farce is unraveling like a cheap sweater. He'll be toast in a year... Wealthy toast, but toast nonetheless.

I bet he joins the Jimmeh Cahtah Brigades and loons about the planet sucking up to dictators and goofy causes...

9:16 AM  
Blogger Bilgeman said...

"I'm not giving up the ghost until Al tells me in person (or on the phone) that he's not running."

Y'know, somewhere, a Secret Service agent just sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Not ANOTHER one!...why me?"

As far as algore is concerned, I'm glad to see that the Nobel Prize worked as intended.

Algore will never run for public office again. (God bless the Nobel committee).

He can now fulfil his destiny as the Jimmy Carter of the new millenium.

10:03 AM  
Anonymous Ray said...

"We don't need a politician as our president, and we certainly do not need Hillary."

Humm. So all those years he spent as a Senator and Vice President was just training for his global warming crusade? Who knew?

11:31 AM  
Blogger The Gunslinger said...

Spending your entire adult life running for or serving in elected office does not makes you a "politician"... unless you're a Republican.

Remember, Howard Meztenbaum accused John Glenn of never having had a "real job"!

This is called: "Liberal Logic".

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog is great! I never would have found it without the controversy over the Weblog Awards. I'll be checking back regularly for updates, hilarious stuff!

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I wonder what made him finally decide?"

Moneymoneymoneymoney, that's what.
Stupid libtard.

To anon above -- yup, this place is a hoot. Using the DUmmies own words to ridicule them is priceless.


12:46 PM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...

I was so hoping ManBearPig would have run. How entertaining would that have been?

I do have a question, what's wrong with corporatists? They are the ones producing things we use and need. Government doesn't produce anything. I'd much rather have corporations running America then most the politicians out there. A corporation is nothing but a group of individuals producing products that the public wants.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


In this case the corporations are selling Carbon-Spew indulgences. They promise to plant a tree somewhere so you can drive your Hummer.

Innocuous now, and really, kind of laughable, but, when liberal government makes it mandatory...

Al Gore is gonna be filthy rich! These are not charitable or not-for-profit corporations.

And what has he produced? Seen any new trees lately?


1:25 PM  
Blogger Beefeater said...

Slowly I turned. Step by step...

The DUmmies are starting to realize that AlGore throwing in with a VENTURE CAPITAL firm is the last straw. Some are even starting to turn against him. In a few days he will become the next Lieberman!

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has this turned up on DU yet? I predict a wallow of dewy-eyed maunderings, followed by a spate of spiteful spitting!

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With an Oscar, an Emmy and a Nobel prize, he may have decided that he is overqualified for the job.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess I should have seen it coming, seeing as how we're dealing with moonbats here, but the "forged email" conspiracy theory train of thought actually took me by surprise. How paranoid ARE these people?

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Al Gore. said...

MANBEARPIG is real! I'M Serial!!!

5:39 PM  
Anonymous at all costs said...

So what if algore is out of the running - Killary is already the selected one. If we sit back and let the rats take this election ... hello NWO.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Myron said...

So the dummie felt like she was hit by a Mack truck. Is that as bad or not as bad as being hit by a Kenworth?

10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gore should run as a 3rd party candidate. He would be Ralph Nader on steroids.

11:30 PM  
Anonymous Bunk said...

Seems to me Hillary's sniffing around for something to nominate as a running mate... could it be that maybe, perhaps, um, uh, wait, my brain froze up. Gotta reboot.

5:18 PM  

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